whaaaats up... im not sure what im going to say but im in bed and i kinda felt like writing ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ i woke up today with these songs in my head
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spring hill has become more diverse.. when i first got here back in 2014 i was pretty much the only black guy i've noticed more black people being out here lately though one day like a month ago i had to walk to kroger because my car was in the shop.. when i was coming back it was rough because i had a gallon of water and a gallon of milk in my bag along with all the food i bought a black guy offered me a ride and i was very thankful because if he hadn't come, i felt like i might've gotten a neck cramp from the weight anyway, my point was going to be that i think a black female moved in next to me.. i happened to look out the window randomly and when i looked i saw her walking in i'll try to say hello if i see her one day.. its not a huge deal but i work from home so i don't interact much these days, i'll take what i can get i suppose ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ speaking of race/color.. one thing i've noticed about my life is often people have assumed i've wanted a certain type of woman when i was younger people used to assume i only liked white girls.. the reason was perhaps my clothing and music choices? ..or maybe they just couldn't see a guy like me with a black female as time passed, that perception of me only liking white women seems to have changed.. today people tend to accuse me of only liking light skinned women let me just set the record straight first off, i am not racist but i generally don't talk to white females for a a few reasons 1. in my experience, white women are more likely to be in a relationship already 2. in my experience a lot of them just don't like me.. oftentimes they go directly into "i'm ignoring you" mode once they know im interested 3. believe it or not, jobs are segregated.. as i've exited high school and college and entered into jobs, i've realized most jobs are segregated.. so being black in segregated jobs- you're not going to be around many white people unless they're your boss or something.. and it sounds bad but when u look at these office jobs, that's just how they are 4. for the most part, i like black women's bodies more anyway, let's move on to this whole "you only like lightskinned women" thing first off, its not true.. go to 2011 on this site and look at the pictures on the side... u will see a picture of me and a darker skinned girl named espranza i wanted to be with her but she didn't want to be in a relationship with me also i really liked this dark skinned girl named essence who i met in 2019.. however... let's just say im 9 years older than she is, so we weren't exactly lining up mentally we both were interested in one another but there were walls between us as far as our outlooks my overall point is i am not strictly into light skinned women i will say i do really only talk to black women these days but i don't care what their skin tone is i kinda prefer dark skinned right now if anything.. but its not set in stone or anything.. its really just because i liked essence so much ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ here's a sidenote on that girl espranza i mentioned she gave me probably one of the worst ethers i ever experienced from a girl one day i missed some of her calls and when i caught up to her i was like hey sorry i missed some of your calls... she said "it's ok, remember that time i didn't talk to you for 2 years?" and it was true.. she ignored me for like 2 years.. except i just never took it personal, im sure i was disappointed but i just never thought super deep about it.. but when she said that- it really made me realize it for what it was.. this girl really genuinely ignored me for 2 years that was such a shocking, hurtful, and truthful "joke" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ i bought a usb that should have a lot of games on it for the ps1 classic i was going to set it up myself but i decided against it.. i bought the usb on etsy instead hopefully it arrives with no problems and its lit.. i want to play some super nintendo games, i never had a super nintendo back in the day ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ if u follow my site u may remember me talking about a girl named asia and u may remember me saying we stopped talking i don't think i ever mentioned we started talking again we're not a thing or anything but i like having a female in my life to talk to asia needs professional help in my opinion she says some of the most ridiculous things i've ever heard a few weeks ago she said the civil rights movement occurred so that black men could bang white women.. and she meant it sometimes i just shake my head at some of the stuff she says i am at a point with her where, things that might've become arguments in the past today are just things i ignore its like a parent ignoring a child having a tantrum.. i just don't engage don't get me wrong i like asia a lot but she just legitimately needs help.. even just earlier today, we were talking about a celebrity couple and she said "if he did that to me i would treat him the way jada treats will smith" asia just needs professional help, church, and healing but i like her don't get me wrong, i think she is what they call "broken" though ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ this has been just some random thoughts.. but im about ready to dip.. holla brahs
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why am i the only person who sees this stuff? the full title of the video is
how to allow your man to lead you in a relationship this is the lowest amount of views i've ever seen tasha k get on a full length video again, i said FULL LENGTH video.. some of her videos that have like 1 minute or less have fewer views than this, because people don't want to click essentially a preview of another video.. they would rather just wait for the full video but this video here? its a FULL VIDEO and it only has 26 thousand views this is the lowest i've seen a full video ever get on her channel so my point is: modern. women. are. not. interested. in. being. led. by. men. the views on this video are evidence that modern women don't want to hear anything about pleasing a man, submitting to a man, following a man, listening to a man, none of that they feel like its useless.. even though its what they need more than anything, they feel like it's beneath them 26k on a full length tasha k video is unheard of why am i the only person who sees this stuff? does anyone else see the evidence and proof of the current state of modern women other than myself? for me i wake up and see it everywhere as a man who has wanted a woman for the last 15 years but been constantly met with beautiful maniacs, i am acutely aware of who and what women are today and what can i say other than, largely they are anything but wives like i said, my 5 days is up at midnight
i just weighed myself at 11:35pm i lost exactly 15 pounds my scale does decimals so yeah.. exactly 15 15 pounds in 5 days i'm very grateful, thank the Lord between the weight loss and the phenomenal sleep.. bro.. i don't even know what to say i recently fasted
i typically wouldn't mention my fasting but this fast hasn't really been a fast for the Lord this fast has just been primarily to lose weight and also to starve the flesh anyway, i just want to talk about it a bit i'm currently in the last stretch.. less than 10 hours left i haven't eaten since thursday october 21st today is tuesday the 26th.. so my fast is 5 days the worst day was day 2 i've just been doing strictly water.. nothing but water i've noticed the weight seems to come right off doing this.. i had lost 13 pounds when i checked this morning.. however it tends to come off fairly quickly, so if i check tonight it might be more than that 5 days was my goal and that comes at midnight tonight although i'm currently on the fence about whether i should stop or not.. believe it or not this water fasting stuff comes with some pros for one you get probably the fastest and healthiest weight loss possible another thing is, they say your body renews itself.. so that's good to know another great thing is u don't even have to workout or anything.. this is the thing that i hadn't thought about that really trips me out.. you literally don't have to do anything.. u can literally sleep all day, play video games all day, do anything and at the end of the day u still lose weight.. in my opinion its one of the best aspects of it.. i don't have to go to the gym, i don't have to do ANYTHING.. it has really kinda opened my mind to other things u can do that are effortless... and of course u may be hungry, but still.. u don't have to put forth any effort another cool thing is i save on gas and food.. my food budget for this 5 days has been like less than a dollar.. just whatever the water cost.. and i'm not driving out to kroger, or walmart, or burger king or anything the quality of my sleep has greatly improved i also noticed my teeth look better also like i said- part of the reason for this is to starve my flesh and i'm very grateful to be doing that anyway.. i'm happy with the weight loss so far.. i lost 4 pounds in the first 24 hours.. and like i said, when i checked this morning i had lost 13 altogether im not sure if i want to stop my original idea was to do a water fast for 5 days, then do strictly liquids after that.. u know like apple juice or smoothies or whatever but right now im enjoying the results of the water fast so much that i'm not sure if i should even do that when u fast sometimes people try to make u eat.. like for example when i was leaving my job in 2018, i wasn't eating and they wanted to throw me a going away party with food.. i told them i didn't want to do it and they literally forced me to.. so i was sitting there with water and i think they were probably offended its super annoying when things like this happen but i think what i'm going to do is just say "my stomach doesn't feel the best" and i won't be lying because my stomach would probably feel better if i was eating i don't want to tell anyone outright "i'm fasting" because i don't want to deal with peoples' opinions and/or expectations i just want to be left alone .. so i think that's what i'll say if people put food in my face "my stomach doesn't feel the best" one thing that makes me not want to stop the fast is.. its like college.. its just faster if u keep at it if u take a break then u just prolong the time ur dealing with it.. your best bet is just to start and not stop until you're done anyway.. i guess that concludes everything i wanted to say for now holla back i just wanted to say this
i never showed u peeps my final paper i wrote for my masters degree i never got around to it, but i still might post it one day.. it was really good in my opinion it was about the manosphere also, i am currently writing a book, i am on chapter 11 this book is about that horrible relationship i had i started it a few years ago, but each time i tried to write it, it was too depressing and it was making me angry and upset but since more time has passed, i've been able to make some progress i think most of it is done, but i do think i still have a way to go i hope people like the book and get a lot out of it my main goals with it are to make money and help men to avoid toxic women the first 3 chapters in my opinion are very solid, i've edited them multiple times over in a sense i almost feel like the book could almost spill into another whole book.. which would be about dating dos and don'ts or modern women or something sometimes that happens when i make songs.. u start writing and u kinda go off on a tangent, and next thing u know u look up and u have 2 songs instead of one anyway just wanted to give some updates i don't think anyone reads this site, but if someone does read it and u want to read an excerpt of my book let me know i was on a forum today and this guy posted something that reminded me of something i posted on there months prior
i will post everything here to show u how real a lot of the things i say are.. not to toot my own horn but just to show im not just talking when i say what i say to start off, here's a forum post i did months ago: has a woman ever left your life and had u sittin there like: "how is it that i can like her so much but she likes me so little?" or "how can i like her so much but she is willing to throw me away so easily?" like when ur with someone and ur having fun u kinda assume that person is having fun also.. but when they just throw u out the window- u think to yourself- "there's no way she could've liked me the way i liked her.. because she just cut me off like im nothing" and u just think "dang she must've just been acting the whole time" or "dang she must've just been tolerating me and nothing else" any thoughts, stories, or insights? ok, now that you've peeped that.. let me move on to what the guy posted today: I have damn near been working out nonstop since my last break up My heart broke like a MF and the only good distraction been pumping iron, doing pullups, push-ups, sit-ups.... I'm getting ripped but I still want the bitch back mane damn The relationship ended right on time, I ain't gonna lie... But damn I wish I could still be friends/cordial at least, she won't even talk to me. (I got a suspicion that the bitch don't have the backbone to tell me she found someone else.) I done did more pushups than I can count today, I ain't cheat or nothing. Shit a got damn shame... But these gainz making the pain bittersweet. Best relationship I been in, I thought we was going all the way with it. Had me feeling like a king when it was going good. ok so there u were able to see that he is experiencing today- something that i brought up months ago... when i bring up women's behavior, im not just talking anyway.. the last thing i want to show is what i said in response to his post today.. here's what i said: u just experienced something i talked about in this section like 2 months ago.. my post is still up, its called "when they throw you out the window" the only way i can understand it is they had to've been pretending the whole time and that in my opinion is a trauma-inducing slap in the face i have a theory that if u watch how women act in the beginning of a relationship, it can help u to see if she's going to try to pretend or not what i mean by that is, if you see that she just lets u talk and she says almost nothing, she's probably not just "a good listener" she is actually trying to learn who u are and not tell u who she is i feel like that is what blindsides us because she has the ability to mirror us, know what we like and don't like.. and this way she can actively hide anything we don't like, and show us anything we do like, and have us thinking we hit the jackpot.. thus securing our interest until she decides to leave her reason for leaving could be nearly anything since she never divulged any real information about herself to us until she leaves, she is likely just using the man for his benefits until she ghosts him.. i mean how else can u explain why everything is perfect one day, and the next day they basically hate u? the benefits u provide her are things like attention, affection, compliments, dinners, protection, vacations, fixing things, moving furniture, etc whenever u provide a benefit, there's usually someone who wants the benefit without giving the proper reciprocation thats what these women are ok im back.. so there u have it, and for anyone who wonders why i post this stuff.. in the end, im just all about understanding u get tired of women doing things that leave u confused and frustrated, so i'm all about getting an understanding and exposing whatever i learn hopefully it helps guys to not be manipulated and/or played in the future list of the games i've played and reviewed this year so far:
ps4 - rayman legends ps4 - freedom planet ps3 - tomb raider 2013 ps3 - metal gear rising: revengeance ps3 - resistance 3 ps3 - vanquish ps3 - ratchet and clank: into the nexus ps3 - comix zone ps3 - dragon's crown ps4 - danganronpa: trigger happy havoc out of these, the only one i didn't beat was revengeance.. i didn't beat it because imo it was terrible.. i played it and ended up throwing the game away i posted this on a forum.. i decided to share it here also though:
do u see a difference in how women treat u based on whether they have kids or not? in my experience, women with kids treat me way better than women without kids.. i mean its like night and day if i was to try and explain why, its like this: i think women without kids are looking for fun primarily (sex, dinners, vacations, concerts etc) ..basically, they want to take advantage of, or exploit their freedom.. they don't yet see a real reason for commitment while women with kids are primarily looking for things like companionship, reliability, stability, and even direction (because they are tired of making every decision) its like the women with no kids don't see a reason for a relationship, and instead, they're good with flings or off and on situations while the women with kids are more prone to wanting what they don't have- which is something consistent i suppose i am giving off relationship vibes.. i'm not trying to, i think that's just what women see when they see me sometimes i am insulted by the way women seem to view me its like why are you women only interested in me after u have 2 kids and 2 bald tires? why don't they look my way prior to the baggage, struggle, and heartbreak? there are a few different danganronpa games
i played ultra despair girls a few years ago and loved it i just played the first danganronpa recently though so i figured i would review it this should be quick ok this game had an entertaining story.. its basically a murder mystery.. it had a lot of funny parts too but this is a horrible GAME.. its not really a game, its more like an incredibly long comic book you read on your playstation this game was nowhere near as good as ultra despair girls in my opinion ultra despair girls was actually a game danganronpa one isn't really a game i kinda regretted "playing" it, but the story sucks u in and u don't want to stop because if u do u feel like u wasted a lot of time and didn't even get to the end do not play this "game" .. because its not really a game.. the story and stuff was cool but its just not worth it my recommendation is just play ultra despair girls, don't play danganronpa 1.. all u do is press x for like 40 hours.. it doesn't respect your time at all.. the trials were ridiculous.. u keep trying to shoot these words and the words keep hiding behind other words i have to give this like a 4 out of 10 EXCEPT if u know its like a super long visual comic book and u don't mind just pressing X for hours and hours.. if u know what you're getting into and u like doing that- then this game is like an 8 on normal mode and like a 9 on easy mode the reason i say this is because the trials get super annoying.. but on easy i guess they aren't as frustrating so quick recap.. if u want an actual GAME then this is a 4 out of 10.. and this is coming from someone who actually likes heavy story games that are kinda non-games.. for example i gave beyond two souls a 10 out of 10.. but this game really drags at times if u like visual novel type games and u know what ur getting and u like this style of game, then this is an 8 on normal.. and a 9 on easy typically i would not finish a game that i deem to be a 4 out of 10 but i finished it because like i said the story grabs u.. but the actual "game" wastes a lot of your time and the "game" is not a game i kinda figured it would be like this but i enjoyed ultra despair girls so much that i wanted to try this.. but i do not recommend it |
enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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