this is every toxic female in a nutshell 1. she's inexplicably angry 2. she infringes on your peace 3. she tells you you're playing the victim 4. she plays the victim ("what about me" statements) 5. when you give in, she's still angry (apology isn't enough)
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here is a longer version of my previous entry.. the thoughts are fleshed out a little more
i posted the entry here, then i went on the forum i go to and fleshed it out more.. after i fleshed it out i decided to come back and post it here.. so peep if u want to see more of my thoughts as i go into a little more detail: women and their requirements (cousin edition) i saw my cousin recently and i couldn't figure out why she is single at 33 with huge boobs (i'm not trying to be funny, i don't see her often and when i saw her this recent time i couldn't help but notice her boobs were legitimately gigantic.. and no they r not implants) anyway, all im saying is- i know men must be hollering at her so in my mind i couldn't figure out why she is single i got a glimpse of why she might be single though when she said: "i'm a homeowner now, i can't be with a man who doesn't have a house.. he might not be able to keep up" not only was that rude to say to me (because i live in an apartment), but it also is just a thing where she is disqualifying a lot of good men imo, it's just a weird requirement, because how many homes do you need? if he has a house and you have a house, one will likely have to be sold anyway.. so if you have a house, then why do u need your spouse to have one? i could see if she said "he needs a job" but no- she said he needs a house women paint themselves into a corner with their requirements and then wonder why they have no options whenever they get something, they think u should have it too.. or even worse, sometimes they don't have a thing but they still think u should have it.. i've heard women say things like "i know im fat but i can't be with a fat man" its like they're not willing to work with u on anything.. its just "have this" or "be this" or we won't speak this same cousin had the nerve when we were at the table to say something about how she wants to have a kid one day.. meaning she wants to find a man worthy of having children with and settle down.. but how r u going to do that with these exclusive requirements? i mean what percentage of black millennials are homeowners? to me, "he needs to have a house" is a frivolous request.. if he has a job and is educated, is God-fearing and loves you, then who cares if he has a house? he can A. move in your house and help pay mortgage there B. u two can move into his apartment, or C. u two can both leave where u live and get a new place together if you comment, respond to this however you want- but please somewhere in your response say whether or not you think her needing a man to have a house is necessary or not i saw my cousin recently and i couldn't figure out why she is single at 33 with huge boobs
i got a glimpse of why she might be single though when she said: "i'm a homeowner now, i can't be with a man who doesn't have a house" not only was that rude because i live in an apartment, but it also is just a thing where she is disqualifying a lot of good men i also feel that it's a weird requirement, because how many homes do you need? if he has a house and you have a house, one will likely have to be sold anyway.. so if you have a house, then why do u need your spouse to else have one? i could see if she said "he needs a job, but no- she said he needs a house" women paint themselves into a corner with their requirements and then wonder why they have no options i figured i would say this here because it makes no sense to tell anyone else
i just did something i never really do i sent my friend a gift.. this gift cost a little over $200 i hope he likes it i can't fully explain this.. i just continually kept thinking about what it would be like to send this to my friend and let him have the experience of surprise and opening it brand new like i said i almost never do things like this but some of u who follow my site may remember i sent a friend $200 a few years ago and so i guess this is my second time ever doing something like this i'm kindof excited because he won't expect this at all.. the feeling of opening it will be amazing anyone who is reading this.. if u want to know what i sent, my plan is to reveal it once he receives it.. so i can come back and say what i sent him, and hopefully tell u what he says about it let me explain a few things about this ok first thing is- this thought of sending this item to someone popped in my head.. and when it first popped in my head i was like "if i had the money it would be cool to send it to someone" well time passed and i got the money then over time it was like.. who should i send it to if i send it? and when he popped up i thought about it a lot it was weird because i kept on wondering why this thought would not leave me.. the thought just kept popping up at random like "how cool would it be to give so and so this out the blue" ...but anyway i finally decided, ok i'll do it, and i'll do it for this guy in my next entry about this, if i can- i want to say how we met but in this one i'll just say why he qualified to get this from me 1. even when he has been upset with me he always held his tongue.. he never was a person to just let me have it, he was always just as nice as he could be .. even when he could have just went off on me or something- he always just would choose the higher road 2. he always used to let me stay at his house and he never treated me like i didn't belong.. my sister used to run track and so i would stay with him after school as opposed to wait on my sister at school.. he always would let me eat their food and stuff almost as if i lived there 3. some years back he had the idea to come see me.. so him and another friend of mine drove 8 hours to see me 4. other than that he was always just cool so really that's it i'm grateful i was able to do something like this for someone.. like i said i very rarely do anything like this but it feels good.. maybe i should try to give more often i wanted to share an interaction i had on a forum.. so peep if interested
there was a video where a guy said "my wife kept cheating on me so i said if you can't beat em' join em' and now we're swingers" and i said the following: ______________________________ didn't watch the video past like 5 seconds but this is desperation she looks almost like a model, he looks like a regular dude he feels like the only way he can keep her is to reduce himself to this my motto is.. just be alone.. before u let your wife do u like jada does will.. leave just be alone.. there's nothing wrong with just being alone i let my horrible ex go 2 years ago and i have more money in my bank account now than ever make more money than i've ever made come home to a nice quiet apartment, i no longer listen to constant nagging and complaining, and i'm not being undermined everytime i speak anymore i just do my hobbies like writing and playing video games i try different restaurants.. and i don't have to buy a meal for an ungrateful skank anymore sometimes i even cook just for the fun of it just be alone man, u will regain your self respect and your life will improve but women's quality of life significantly decreases when you leave so u do the world a favor when u stop putting up with their crap ______________________________ then a guy came along and commented on what i said here's what he said: How long it took you to heal? Because it sounds like she got you involved in some nonsense. And also, have you talked to anyone since then? Thanksgiving makes a calendar year for me but I slipped up trying to double up on another ex afterwards instead of working on myself. That chapter's closed though and people are supposed to be left in the past for a reason lol. ______________________________ now here's what i said to his comment: first i feel like its important to explain to u what my "healing" was my healing was just to stop being angry that took a while.. for me what i had to do was basically just stop listening to anything that reminded me of her behavior.. things like narcissism videos, or mgtow, or anything that would remind me of the things she did to me the next thing i had to do was find a way to protect myself for the future what i ended up doing was writing down ways to prevent horrible women from entering my life again let me see if i can find that stuff actually..... ok i found it.. i came up with general advice, and advice specifically for men general: 1. don't choose based on looks, choose based on character 2. take heed to red flags.. each red flag u ignore is one step closer to a bad situation 3. always be able to leave.. not saying always be READY to leave (cuz thats one foot in and one foot out) im saying always be ABLE to leave.. guys who can't leave typically get walked on advice for men specifically: if you see any of this in a woman, stay away A. unwillingness to follow you B. unwillingness to give back/ contribute/ reciprocate C. ungratefulness D. inability to accept a "no" ok so once i created these i felt that i could put my guard back down.. as long as i follow these, a woman can't come into my life and wreack havoc anymore also like i said, i stopped taking in information about women.. mgtow, narcissism, pua (pick up artistry) i just removed my focus from women and their behavior and my anger began to subside.. i stopped reminding myself of the pain of loving someone who treat me like dirt i remember one time this girl very abruptly broke up with me and i called her and i went straight to voicemail, so i figured i was blocked.. and i felt really bad because i showed her so much love and she just up and blocked me that same day i stumbled over a video on youtube that was really funny and i remember cracking up laughing and that kinda showed me the power of shifting focus now im in a place where im healed and i can go back and look at the narcissism videos and other things and not be triggered for the most part and yeah i've talked to other women since then but its different for me now that i operate by my new "rules" i talk to gorgeous women who want to be with me but if they're giving me red flags then i just fall back for example i was talking to one gorgeous woman but one day she was cracking up at this joke she showed me the joke and it was a girl online saying "my man is going to kick my a** if he sees me in this fishbowl" and under it it said something like: "how i feel when my date's car doesn't have tinted windows" she thought it was so hilarious.. red flag.. and that was really who she ended up being.. gorgeous.. but not exactly someone u can 100% trust in the past i would probably just see it as a funny joke but today i really pay more attention and so i date way less now because these days i kinda see the end from the beginning if u know what i mean ______________________________ he ended up saying my post was helpful and insightful and he wished me well just wanted to share that interaction i've been trying to look better lately i guess
i hope no one who reads this thinks im all about vanity or anything.. let me explain its not so much that i am vain in my opinion.. what it is is this... i let myself go so far in the other direction that i feel like its time to try and reel myself in a bit i have not bought a stitch of clothing in over a year and a half.. i got VERY few haircuts this year.. i just never really put any effort into my appearance since i've been working from home, and i guess i finally am ready to spruce up a bit so i wrote down a few things to make myself more presentable the crazy thing is, today i went to walmart and it looked like this mexican woman was staring at me, maybe one of her friends was too.. and it could've been nothing but when i saw her staring at me i felt like some of the stuff i've been doing has been working.. the way she was looking at me almost looked like she wanted me to walk over there where she was anyway i wrote down 12 things to enhance my appearance and i've been trying to do these things little by little so far i've only done about 3 or 4 of the things but they all help one thing i didn't actually write down, but decided to try was beard balm.. i think it will be cool to try that out.. maybe if i brush it in it will smooth my beard out.. i don't know.. i bought some from target but i haven't tried it yet i'll give an example of something i wrote down.. one of the things on my list is wear better jackets i have a few different jackets and for some reason i always wear this hand me up from my cousin.. (i say hand me up because he's like 13 years younger than me), and he left his jacket here or something and he didn't want it back so i've been wearing it.. its not the best jacket, but for some reason i wear it all the time anyway i have much better jackets i can wear.. so thats one thing i put on the list.. wear better jackets so the things on my list are just things to make my appearance better basically, and i felt like that woman looking at me today was because i've put more effort into my appearance.. not a ton, but i just don't look like i woke up in a garbage can anymore just wanted to speak on that since i've been fasting my face has been looking much better also i think when u lose or gain weight your face is one of the main things that changes generally anyway props to anyone who caught the title reference and how it correlates to what i said i was thinking about this recently and i want to get it off my chest
in the past i used to try to understand women these days i really don't care what women think, say, or do the bottom line is women lie constantly they just lie nonstop i'm not saying all women, but modern women.. they lie and gaslight ALL. THE. TIME. in the past i didn't know women lied all the time, so i would try to understand what they were talking about today, since i understand everything they say is a lie, projection, or gaslight.. i don't listen to anything they say when it comes to women today.. sometimes i pick my battles.. sometimes i let them speak their nonsense and sometimes i tell them why what they're saying is ridiculous sometimes i just get away from them altogether.. because i recognize that everything they say is something to deflect from their behavior i am much much happier living this way if u have followed my site for years then one thing u know is i used to be very confused about women and their behavior i no longer and confused, the reason women were confusing was because they were lying all the time and i was always finding their actions and conversation to be inconsistent now that i know they're lying i just treat them like they're idiots.. i don't mean that in a negative way- like i put them down.. what i mean is, i just treat them like they are children.. like they don't know what they're talking about.. or like they're lying.. i just don't believe anything they say, even if i let them speak, what they say holds no weight with me anymore they are CONSTANTLY lying when i say constantly i hope u understand i really mean it one moment its "i'm a real freak" the next minute its "i don't even need sex" one minute its "i want a child" the next minute its "being single with no kids gives me freedom" one second its "i want us to be in a relationship" the next minute its "i've been wanting to leave u for months" like nothing they say has any consistency and the reason is because they don't tell you the truth, they tell u what they want you to hear in that moment they have no integrity or backbone or anything, they're constantly hiding who and what they really are not listening to women has changed my life for the better i find myself tuning women out a lot these days and i get to keep my peace if u find a man stressed over a woman, its probably because he is listening to her nonsense i just don't care anything about what women say these days even women who are pro men are usually terrible, because after speaking something real for 20 minutes, they'll turn around and say something ridiculous.. which has made me understand why women were never given positions of power or influence back in the old days women were never discussing serious matters like in politics and discussions and debates.. women were left out because men knew who women were back then they didn't allow women a seat at the table because they knew women were not built for serious discourse.. they were built for family and support.. they lack logic and reason, its just the reality of the situation so anyway.. my point is- i don't listen to women and my life has greatly improved because of that fact and if you're a male reading this i suggest you stop listening to women immediately if u want to regain peace and stability (i didn't proofread this yet.. maybe later) i started fasting again
so far i lost another 5 lbs so i lost 20 altogether what i've noticed is more maneuverability i also feel like my face looks better everything seems subtle right now though.. no one has said to me "you look like you're losing weight" im saying this with humility, but this fast im currently doing has not been very difficult.. for the most part, it hasn't felt like "i'm fasting" ..it has just felt like normal days anyway, did i ever explain what made me start fasting? i don't think i did so let me explain it if u follow my site u may remember me talking about a girl named asia this past summer asia was complaining about her weight.. she was i think like 337.. and she's 5'3 we got into an argument and didn't talk for a month, when we finally spoke again she said she lost 30lbs i didn't think much of it.. but over time she kept going next thing it was like 40, then 45, and basically the last number i heard was like 63 hearing her talk about losing weight everyday had an effect on me i was about 100lbs less than her.. i couldn't let someone 100lbs heavier than me lose 100lbs, then lose more weight and be smaller than me i couldn't let her pass me.. it wasn't jealousy, it was just a realization that if she's losing all this weight then i must not be dedicated, or im just flat out lazy so that's what pretty much got me to start fasting she is doing liquids and like eating one thing per day im just doing water she's 3 or 4 months in.. im like 2 or 3 weeks in i can't say how i would feel doing it- but mentally, i'm not against doing an 11 day fast, or a 14 day fast one thing i've learned is, once u start seeing results, its like a boost and i've barely seen results.. i mean.. like i said- no one has even told me i lost weight.. i guess u see it on the scale before u see it anywhere else anyway i started at 237, currently 217.. my goal weight is 209 that's not exactly where i want to stop.. but 209 is where i was back in like 2016.. so that's like going back to where i was like 5 yrs ago once i get to 209, of course hopefully i get to under 200 but for right now, im just focused on getting to my goal weight of 209 |
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August 2023
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