i had to post this.. this was really good front to back.. watch this if you feel you may have been manipulated by someone if you're a male and you've been in a bad relationship then this is likely to speak to you
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so to my surprise.. the girl who joined the block party the other day ended up emailing me this morning
she was like "hey are you ok? i've been calling and texting you" i was prepared to not talk to her anymore when i blocked her, but since she took the time to email me i took that into consideration i responded back to her and i said i didn't respond because i blocked you because you kept saying "ok" or "oh ok" over and over and i felt like u were just basically saying "whatever" to me and i got tired of it she had two excuses.. one of which i think was false and one i think was true the first excuse was: -sometimes i'm busy working and i have to respond with something quickly (i don't buy it) the second excuse was: -sometimes i don't agree with you but i don't want to argue so i just say "ok" not only do i believe that, i also think it falls in line with what i was saying.. which was that she was using "ok" as her way of saying "whatever" of course the way she explained it made it sound better but ultimately she was just saying "ok" like "alright shutup" or "fine whatever" i told her i'm all for not arguing but just saying "ok" all the time gets old and sounds condescending when i'm trying to carry a conversation if i say "i'm going to play basketball" and u say "oh ok" then thats fine if i say "i found the cure to cancer" and u say "oh ok" then thats not cool.. it should be common sense to know things like this imo on some level i could stay upset but she somewhat redeemed herself a little because she said she's used to talking to me every day and she wanted to speak to me during the time we didn't speak.. she basically somewhat said she enjoys talking to me and i add value to her life what's so odd about this tho is its the exact opposite of what she was SHOWING ME prior to me blocking her i don't know why women think its ok to make men feel unimportant, and then when the guy finally leaves they get upset.. like to me thats ridiculous anyway i unblocked her i gave her my side which was "i'm tired of u talking to me in a dismissive way" and she gave her side which was "that wasn't my intent" or whatever i guess i let it go so we are on decent terms again for now i think society these days is very odd in the sense that many people work and really get nowhere
i know for me- that's oftentimes how i feel.. kindegarten, elementary, middle school, high school, college, masters degree, job, better job, and so on you work and work and work and work its like you just keep on going but what's crazy is you look around and you still don't really have anything you still have debt, you don't own a home, you're still making car payments, and to add insult to injury there are no decent women for you to choose from sometimes you just think.. what am i doing all of this for? this is a conversation i had earlier today.. i told her i was looking into my dreams for some direction and the following occurred i legit rarely ever block people but i blocked her for this.. her stupid comments got under my skin
let me break down why this was so annoying to me 1. this girl thinks she's smart.. this isn't the first time she has said something stupid to me.. like a week ago for example i told her some of my plans for 2018 and she was trying to tell me i should do things in a diff way.. who are u to tell me what i should be doing and how? especially considering this woman is older than me and still lives with her mother.. no husband, no boyfriend, no kids, no college degree, yet she thinks she's some type of expert on MY life and decisions 2. she's full of pride.. she says something incorrect and i show her she's incorrect and instead of saying "oh ur right" she hits me with "ok" which is totally stoic and noncommittal.. there's no acknowledgement of the fact i told you the truth.. she just says "ok" which has no meaning.. its almost like just saying "whatever" 3. that "i don't care anyway" attitude... look at how dismissive her responses are to the things i say.. "lol oh ok" .. what is that? it sounds so dismissive and condescending.. like don't talk to me like i'm a child.. women are so disrespectful these days and i'm tired of it.. i'm tired of these short responses i get from women that are just weird and confusing they are worded in a way to insinuate that ur incorrect about what you're saying but they don't explain why or how.. its like they just want to subtly slight u and act like nothing happened.. and she just says "ok" at the end like as if there's nothing else to talk about or as if she's too busy to care.. that whole "i'm better than u" or "i've got better things to do" or "i'm so smart i don't even have to respond" attitude DISGUSTS ME btw, she does things like this whenever she feels like it.. this isn't the only time something like this has happened.. but this is the time where i decided i'm done putting up with it overall, she laughed at me and i proved her wrong yet she has no backbone to say "ur right" ..she would rather just take the scumbag route and give me a condescending one word response i am tired of this type of crap from women.. i am tired of their one word responses and i'm tired of hearing "oh ok" from them all the time.. no wonder men say women are boring.. i'm so tired of these skanks saying "oh ok" like its going out of style.. its like either they say it because they have an attitude or they say it because they have nothing better to say, and either way- IM TIRED OF DEALING WITH IT do women talk to their female friends that way? "hey girl, i just went shopping" "oh ok" like where does the conversation even go when u say oh ok after every sentence the other person says? like i'm totally over this crap so she can have fun at the BLOCK PARTY i just invited her to cuz i'm done with these vapid and useless women who have nothing to offer me besides their attitude, their arrogance, and empty idiotic statements i can find someone who talks to me like i matter and treats me with some level of respect, or i can be alone.. but u can bet this IM NOT PUTTING UP WITH WOMEN'S CRAP ANYMORE its always the same thing, u try to have a conversation with one of these boring skanks and all they do is criticize whatever u say or they treat it like it makes no sense or is "beneath" them.. and time and time again i'm supposed to just ignore the fact that u treat me like what i'm saying has no value well forget it then.. be alone.. be "independent" .. just do u.. i won't bother u anymore how about that? i won't share my life and thoughts with u.. i won't say good morning to you.. i won't check on you.. i won't engage with you.. i won't invite you anywhere.. and i won't give u anything else to doubt or complain about because here's the twist........... u no longer exist. my church left.. they moved to bolivar, tn
i don't want to rule anything out because i want to leave my life in God's hands however just to keep it a buck- it doesn't look like i'll be following them out that way the nearest city is jackson and thats like a 40 min drive then the next nearest city is memphis and thats over an hour drive its like... i went out to bolivar to see the church with everyone yesterday but it seemed like there was nothing out there.. the surrounding areas seemed pretty empty.. like as i was driving i was looking around thinking about jobs and places to live and nothing stood out to me so as of right now it looks like i may have to just stick to watching them online my church leaving has really made me realize my life is going in a diff direction this year because for one, i'm looking for another job.. and for two, i don't want to renew my lease later this yr.. so lets do a little rundown -want a diff job -don't want to renew my lease -my church left -last yr i finished school -last yr i got out of that relationship it looks like things are open for me.. it looks like i have no ties.. it looks like my life is headed in a diff direction.. my regular life looks like its over and it looks like maybe its time for a new normal anyway.. like i said i went out to bolivar to see the new church and it was really nice.. i'm happy for everyone- but right now it looks like my time at that church is over again i'm not setting anything in stone with my words but i'm just saying what the forecast looks like i'm thankful the ministry is online so i should be able to keep up with it there Thomas newman is my fave composer... if anyone is interested in his work but unfamiliar.. my recommendation is that you start with the American beauty soundtrack.. its a great starting point into his work Its crazy to me that I understand more about my ex after our relationship than I did when we were together I was extremely confused while I was in that relationship but today by the grace of God I can read her like a book.. with the time and clarity I’ve gained since letting go of her, I’ve gained much insight into what I was dealing with Well here is another instance of that Some of u (if u follow my site) may remember I’ve explained that sometimes when I was in my last relationship.. I would hear my ex and she’d keep telling me I didn’t hear her.. and it got to where I’d even repeat back what she said and she’d still tell me I didn’t hear her.. I never understood that and was profoundly confused.. but God is faithful and He continues to open my eyes to what I went through Peep the video for the breakdown |
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August 2023
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