i didn't write this, saw it on that forum i don't really participate on anymore
i was lurking and saw this and thought it was one of the goat comments thought i'd share it here
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asia and i have had our issues but i'm finally done with her in the past its always been her throwing me out the window.. this time its me who's done i have had enough of her baiting me into arguments and constantly putting words in my mouth and being argumentative this one just broke the camel's back for me i had already sidestepped like 2 of her arguments and here i was just trying to make conversation about something normal but she brought it back to trying to start another argument i saw she was typing after i said that, but i blocked her before she sent whatever she was writing
some of u may say "james u have annoying opinions and arguments too" maybe, but the difference is i put my thoughts on this website.. i let loose here where people can take or leave my thoughts i don't go out and brow beat people or start arguments all day i save my vitriol for the site, so peeps can read or not read with asia though, i told her time and time again to start a youtube since she was so opinionated.. time and time again she came up with excuses not to do it... well i don't want to hear your crap everyday, soooooo u need to figure something out i don't think there is anything wrong with having strong opinions, but when u just harass everyone around you- you need to redirect your thoughts and ideas into a more productive playing field asia got annoying.. i got tired of her putting words in my mouth one minute its "u should get a white girl, yall love white women" the next minute its "yall only like light skinned women" the next minute its "you hate women" brah i haven't said any of that stuff even in the text she did it- "u wouldn't like my brother because he protects his family" i was sitting there reading that like: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? i wasn't going to have another back and forth so i just told her have a good one im just done with her .. tired of her projection, gaslighting, and putting words in my mouth that i never said if anyone wants a weirdo single mother i know where u can get one i just want to do some quick thoughts on the will smith thing
i just think will smith is totally wrong for what he did the joke to jada was madd light i lost all respect for will and don't see myself supporting anything he does ever again.. i already don't really watch movies like that, but still i hope chris rock is alright mentally and emotionally after that i also hope he can live his day to day without having to hear about what happened all the time for the next 5 to 10 years anyway.. will smith is a cuck and a simp and i said all this before.. i'm not sure if i've said it on this site, but i did say it on youtube like 2 years ago the guy has reduced himself very low.. to be honest i did the same.. when i was with my ex g/f questa i reduced myself to very low levels i found myself in some messed up situations and states of mind i remember looking online "how to know if your spouse is cheating" because something just wasn't right... how did i get reduced to that? i remember taking her out to dinner only for her to not talk to me the entire time... how did i get reduced to that? on valentine's day she happily said she would have sex with one of her male friends.... how did i get reduced to that? one day we got in an argument and her last word in the argument was "have a nice life" and i sat there with tears streaming down my face... how did i get reduced to that? yall don't know the half.. and to be honest i could EASILY keep going but the fact is i just wanted to make a point and that point is.. I'VE BEEN THERE.. i've been where will is but i let it go.... will on the other hand has been dealing with this obstinate jezebel for well over 20 years these women will bring u out of your character they will have u in positions and mindsets where u just look up and say "how did i even get here?" "why do i want to cry?" "why am i so jealous?" "why do i feel so weak when she's around?" "why can't i make her happy?" "why do i feel so unstable?" these women really mess you up if you let them but i don't feel bad for will.. because he has been in it too long.. he thinks she's a prize, which to me is like basically being reprobate at some point if you're not reprobate, you will look up and say "she doesn't love me, brah" will seems reprobate or something to me.. he just sinks and sinks and when he wants peace he has to leave her alone and allow her to have sex with other guys.. its like at what point will he just say what women say? "i can do bad all by myself" she's not bringing any value to your life, she just brings you to places you would never otherwise be and they're all negative.. will wouldn't have done that nonsense had it not been for his desire to please jada.. and the solution isn't "beat up any man who says something about my woman" the solution is get away from the toxic woman.. get away from the hard to please woman get away from the woman who complains about everything get away from the overly sensitive woman get away from the woman who makes u feel like you're not a man get away from the woman who withholds validation get away from the woman who honors other men instead of you get away from this woman because she ends up pulling your strings and pressing your buttons until you start making bad decisions and finding yourself in messed up states of mind he thinks she is a prize, but she runs his life man.. one look has him ready to violate someone he was actually somewhat cool with these horrible women make u feel like ur never good enough and that is what drives many men to make idiotic decisions to try and make the woman happy or please her she will never be pleased though.. these types of women are vapid skanks and whores will isn't in the right state of mind.. its literally like he has to ask for permission to have masculinity so when he is being cheated on, he can't be a man, he has to just sit and take it but when someone cracks a light joke about his wife he has to be mr. macho? like dude is GONE.. reprobate in my opinion anyway.. i could continue but i think i said the jist of what i wanted to say peaCe i bought a shirt yesterday i went 2 years without buying any clothing once the rona hit and we started working from home, there was no real reason to buy clothing so yeah.. yesterday was the first shirt i bought in 2 years i guess the reason why i find this to be significant is because it sort of highlights how unimportant those types of things can be in the grand scheme of things +++++++++++++++ i took a walk outside today.. it was nice, it felt good, i got some fresh air +++++++++++++++ my family has no idea about the house asia asked me how they might take the news.. i told her they may not like that i'm moving that far, however i think they will understand my reasons if the Lord allows, i'll tell them everything sometime in april +++++++++++++++ for whatever reason i've been eating papa john's like once a week for the last like 4 weeks that $10 two topping large is legit.. the one i got yesterday is half pepperoni and sausage, and the other half is pepperoni and banana peppers +++++++++++++++ anyway.. song of yesterday song of today peaCe
by the grace of God everything has been going well with the house
this is my first time buying a house so i'm seeing there are a number of steps in the process the most recent thing we did was the inspection the house is new so they asked me if i wanted to pay for an inspection (if it was an older house, it wouldn't be optional), i said yes primarily because for one, i figured it seemed like the best decision to make like a "just in case" type thing.. also i wanted the experience.. i wanted to know what an inspection would entail and what it would be like i definitely think it was worth it.. the inspection found some things i hadn't even considered.. also i noticed it has a way of legitimizing any possible issues u may have there were no crazy issues or anything, but just some odds and ends anyway.. just giving an update, i'm grateful to the Lord for this opportunity for sure no cap might give some more updates with time i was thinking about rap tonight and how most people always talk about 2pac and biggie.. they are like the main popular rappers
they are the rappers who a lot of people seem to think are the best representations of hip hop.. and they are the rappers a lot of newcomers to rap will go to first i asked myself, if i had the ability to choose who the main popular rappers were, who would i choose? i thought that was a great question i'm not sure who i'd put in that position i don't know but here are some who came to mind ice cube outkast lil wayne kendrick lamar nicki minaj nba youngboy i said a long time ago, i felt like millennials were the first generation of people to do everything and get nothing
u have people with advanced degrees who don't own a home, don't own a car, some can't even get a job with benefits, etc i want to say why i feel like this house i got is from God
1. the process happened very fast and smoothly.. i went from not thinking i could even get a house, to having a house in such a short period of time it was pretty much unbelievable 2. it took some faith from the jump.. the house is 3 hours from my apartment, so when i saw it.. i was like "should i drive out there?" my car had stopped when i was driving a few days before, and i hadn't had a chance to get it looked at.. so i was thinking "should i chance it and drive 3 hours?" i decided to do it.. that took some level of faith. i'm not saying a high level- but some 3. when i decided to go make the trip, i decided that if i was going to go, i was going to go that next morning.. that night i went to sleep late, but somehow i still woke up early.. i woke up actually like 2 hours before i set my alarm to wake me up.. i just got up wide awake.. i feel like that was God 4. the house looks like it was made for me.. it just legitimately looks like it was made for me, it even feels kinda masculine.. its brand new, it has this sort of clean, bachelor pad-ish, and functional look to it 5. they said two people put in offers before me and somehow both of the offers fell through 6. its affordable for me 7. it gives me land (2 acres) which is a blessing because i had wanted a way to A. maybe grow some type of vegetable and/or B. have a decent place to work on a car (its not the best to work on a car in an apartment complex) 8. its a nice area out there 9. at some point the realtor said out of her mouth "it sounds like this was meant to be for you" 10. when i got there to see the house the realtor said it was set to sell the next day, i figured.. well i guess i won't get it.. because my application was still being processed, so i figured i was too late.. once it got processed, i called and asked if it sold yet.. they said no.. that felt like a blessing.. and i would say to anyone reading this.. don't let a "no" stop you.. i could've been like "ok well if it sells tomorrow then forget it, i lost" but no.. i just kept going almost as if she had never said that, and it worked out if u want something then take this entry as encouragement... i didn't even think this was possible really but now its a reality i give all credit to the Lord for this.. definitely i give all the honor to God because i didn't even really think this was possible for me, i also could've been scammed or all type of stuff.. so i can't act like i just figured all this out and blessed myself.. i'm grateful to the Lord for opening a door for me anyway, i hope anyone who reads this sees it as encouragement peaCe i did a long entry a few years ago.. i think 2019 or 2020 about why men should not bring women into their discourse
this is a prime example of why i still stand by that there is no solution, or truth, or "precept upon precept" when you talk to women.. if you talk to a woman about something serious- you will be stuck on level one for 8 hours look at this for example.. she couldn't even answer one question.. she sucked all the air out of the room.. why bring a bird brain into a real discussion? they didn't really get to move the discussion forward at all because she couldn't answer the first question its like what i said years ago on a song: "you can't have a man to man talk with a woman" these men who want to have serious discussions are playing themselves by bringing women into it look at the bible with vashti.. vashti was unsubmissive.. the king didn't get a panel that was half men and half women to discuss what to do next.. no he got a panel that was all men, and they made the right decision on what to do, not only for the king, but for the whole nation's wellbeing stop bringing women into your discussions and thinking the conversation is going to make sense.. stop giving women power i'm not joking around with this.. women are not going to come to the table to do anything but undermine the righteous path am i saying women are bad in every situation? am i saying men are good in every situation? NO.. but at the same time for the most part just leave women out of serious discourse.. they are generally not coming from the same place as you, they have a whole different motive for being at the table, the sooner you recognize that, the sooner you can get past level one in a discussion on 2.25.22 i did an entry explaining all the reasons why i stayed with a narcissist
i said i wanted to break the reasons down one day... so that is what i plan to do in this entry these reasons are in no particular order, but these all are the things that kept me in a horrible relationship i am just explaining this to basically show that it wasn't exactly as simple as "just walk away" i mean it was that simple in a sense.. but there were factors that made me hesitant to do that trauma bonds - we argued a lot.. this had the effect of making me feel like walking away from her would be walking away from the work i put in to solving our relationship issues.. "solving our relationship issues" was basically just arguing.. it felt like work, and walking away felt like leaving something i put a significant amount of effort into wanting a relationship - i hadn't had a relationship for over a decade when i met her i had a complex - i was with a girl for like 4 years prior to this toxic relationship and in that relationship i felt like i messed things up between us.. so i always wanted another chance, i always wanted to prove i could be a good boyfriend.. this caused me to overlook some of her horrible behavior and it caused me to focus on making her happy without thinking about my own needs.. i was basically trying to subconsciously fix my old relationship through the new one if that makes sense... like basically treating the new relationship like a do-over of my previous one.. but the truth is there are no do-overs and we just have to accept that she was fine - she was basically a 10 out of 10 for me looks-wise i received some bad advice - i reached out to some people for help on how to deal with this toxic relationship and some of them gave me bad advice that basically put me in a mindset to reward this chick's bad behavior and overlook her ridiculous behavior rebelling against disposal culture - i don't like how these days when u don't like someone u ghost them, or you just block them, or whatever.. i don't like how we just throw people in the trash and i didn't want our relationship to just be yet another situation that ended in two people never speaking again over something that might've been fixable reverse psychology - i ended up looking it up and she darvo'd me a few times.. darvo means (i'm recalling it off the top of my head so don't quote me) deny, attack, reverse victim and offender... basically u deny fault, u attack the other person, and you reverse the roles.. she did that to me sometimes.. sometimes i'd be angry and about to break up with her, but before i knew it she was angry and about to break up with me.. then i'd go home and just be like "what just happened?" she was just like a weirdo manipulator that way no sense of self - this is something i will have to talk about extensively one day.. but basically.. in the context of this relationship i would say the way this manifested was in my lack of regard for myself, my feelings, my wants, and my desires.. i never thought about myself so i never sat and thought "i don't want to be with a girl who lies" or "i don't want to be with a girl who manipulates" or "i don't want to be with a girl who nags and complains" or "i don't want to be with a girl who i can't trust" etc etc etc....... i just never really thought about myself at all.. i just wanted to make her happy.. so when she did horrible things to me, it was like they weren't registering the way they should have.. they were unpleasant, but i wasn't thinking about myself enough to go into a mindset of "i value myself more than this relationship" i just didn't have much of a concept of self... if this is hard to understand, i'll give an example.. think of going to work.. u may not like your job but u don't generally think "i don't like this i'm leaving" .. u don't put self's desires above your job generally... generally u put the job above self's desires.. that's kinda how i was in the relationship so all in all, these things explain how i found myself caught up in a toxic relationship with a narcissist |
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