i got the speaker.. it works great.. no issues at all
the red and yellow mix is bonkers but like i said i just wanted to replace the one that died, not get a new set
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this post isn't important, skip if u want.. i feel like i'm just thinking outloud on this one ++++++++++++++++++++++ did i tell u guys my desk came? i bought it on amazon like a week ago and it arrived a few days ago.. i put it together and its really nice.. it's exactly what i needed/wanted i got the right size too which i'm thankful for i had to get a light colored wood top because i kinda have too much black stuff in my apartment as it is i don't think i will buy anything else black ... like for example i want new stools for the bar in the kitchen... and i definitely don't want black ones i like that i have so much black stuff because you don't really have to try and match anything that way.. but i'm at a point where i have to switch things up some.. so i try to get other things that are nice but things u don't have to match.. like gray, or wood, etc when u have too much black, your house starts to remind you of a tim burton movie or some type of weird thing but i'm thankful for my desk.. God blessed me to have it and its doing the job.. u all may see i've been writing more and stuff and i think a lot of that has to do with me having a comfortable desk area +++++++++++++++++++ i've been looking at arcade sticks again online i still want to get one one of these days.. i have wanted one for a minute now but i haven't really had the time or money to get into the games or to buy the sticks but i have been watching videos on them.. some of the videos are oddly relaxing.. i had a really rough day last week where i was in traffic for at least 2 hours trying to get home and when i finally got home i put on one of the videos and it seemed like it helped calm me down ++++++++++++++++++++ i've been messing with lyrics here and there.. i think u guys will like what i've been coming up with i give God all the praise for any talent i may have i was at work recently thinking that i feel like what makes me different from other employees is i feel like i am more meticulous.. if i was to say there is a negative side to this, it is that when u are naturally meticulous sometimes u might move slower than other people around u.. because u are always thinking of variables or trying to fill in blanks of understanding where other people don't pay much attention but i think one positive aspect of it is that a meticulous person may possibly be a good writer because they can see everything at once and they are able to alter words and fine tooth comb them to get them to say what they want them to say so anyway... i was at work thinking "man i'm meticulous" then my next thought was "why am i meticulous?" and then i thought "i probably need to start writing again" because things that make u different are probably also where some of your talents lie but some of these lyrics i've been writing have surprised me.. i haven't really written in a while but some of my bars are coming out as if i never put the pen down ++++++++++++++++++++ one of my yellow krks died.. i don't know what happened to it i guess it died in one of the moves i had i ended up throwing it away.. but i ordered a red one online of course that's kinda weird cuz if everything goes well then i'll be sitting at my desk with a yellow speaker and a red speaker.. but i didn't want to break the bank.. so instead of getting a new set, i just got this used red one i saw online i hope its in good shape, i will try to let u guys know what happens with it.. i ordered it from guitar center a few days ago ++++++++++++++++++++ anyway.. i want to maybe play a game for a minute.. holla at me they're not involuntarily celibate, they're involuntarily single.. insins if u will.. they can get someone to smash the box but they can't find someone who is a man of value who will put up with them and their baggage
^pretty much sums it up i coined a term today and i thought it was worth explaining
ok so someone online said something about female incels females are not incels imo women are not involuntarily celibate.. i feel that women can pretty much always get sex i think women are finding themselves today as involuntarily single i came up with the term "insins" today the reason i like this term is because for one, it explains the mess women are in today as they continue to be independent feminists for the most part, any women who take on feminist traits and ideals will remain single.. and we see a lot of this today, women are not understanding that men are not attracted to strong, confident, educated, sassy, sexually experienced, independent women men really want a sweet, nice, caring, woman.. honestly if she is shy and vulnerable, to us that is a plus.. but women see these things as weakness the more "strength" a woman shows a man, the more he will not want her and women don't understand this.. men do not want to come home to a challenge, men want wives and mothers of their children anyway that was a tangent.. so here's what i really just wanted to say women find themselves single because they keep trying to give men what men do not want... so these women are in fact involuntarily single another reason i like the term "insin" is because i feel that 9 times out of 10 they are in fact, IN SIN meaning, they are having sex with guys out of wedlock whether its a fling, or long term sex partner or whatever it is- it is ultimately sin because they are not married single mothers are banging guys, women without kids are banging guys, a lot of women in different situations who aren't married are still sexually active the thing is- they do not see how their sexual activity actually contributes to their singlehood the "badboys" are likely thinking: if u are having sex with me without commitment when why should i commit? the good guys (aka guys who are willing to commit) are turned off by her sexual experience and promiscuity before he arrived in the picture so whether the guy is "good" or "bad" they both don't want to commit to her if she is promiscuous.. maybe for different reasons, but still, they both do not want to marry her so there u have it... people talk so much about incels but there are also insins out there and i would say they outnumber incels by quite a large margin in the future i may use the term insin, so just remember what it means if u happen to see me write it again anyway, before i go.. i want to give a heads up, that i want to explore the concepts of hypergamy on here one day.. i am just leaving this here to remind myself i have some stuff to say about hypergamy and traditionalism so hopefully i will get a chance to speak on that soon by the grace of God i got a lot done this weekend
i got a lot done without even really feeling like i was trying i attribute some of this to the fact that i am single and not looking for a female being single really feels good to me right now.. there's a decent amount of backstory to why i feel so good about it one aspect of the backstory is last year for a while i felt like i was being pulled in two different directions.. one direction was toward my ex and the other direction was toward church today i am single and i haven't been to church since like march.. so it just feels good to be in my own zone i haven't turned my back on God or anything.. but it just feels good to not be caught in the middle anymore.. i was really going through a lot during that time and sometimes i feel like i'm still recovering mentally when u are living a life of constantly moving and never being settled, and always chasing things- man it really gets old anyway.. i could go on about all of this stuff but i won't.. i just wanted to partially explain why i have been enjoying solitude so much this weekend i barely spoke to anyone i just did little things i wanted to do did laundry got groceries got haircut bought cords i needed cleaned kitchen got and played a new game (actually an old game.. alundra on ps1) juiced fixed my watch found and bought a desk (the one i'm using now is a $40 desk i got from walmart.. not really a real desk, more like a card table) but anyway.. i just did a bunch of things i wanted to do, i didn't have to hear any crap or answer to anyone i just chilled a lot.. watched a lot of youtube, and did random things.. it feels good to live in peace and quiet and solitude after having such a crazy past 2 years or so so on a diff note.. alundra is pretty cool so far.. i am at the first save point so i will have to let u guys know more about it as i play it more hmm what else.. i feel like i'm getting back to myself still.. a bad relationship takes so much out of u that its like u don't know who u are after a while.. i feel like each day i'm quietly rediscovering myself and i am very much enjoying it.. i am good company- i don't need outside validation i am able to validate myself for a number of reasons but i will give u two 1. because the Lord made me 2. because women like "bad boys" and "nice guys finish last" and "bad boys are exciting" and "good guys are boring" ...............my point being that if women only like bad men and they don't like me then that probably means i'm a good man... so widepread rejection or disinterest from women actually tends to validate me more than tear me down.. i liken it to when the Bible says "friendship with the world is enmity with God" ..............sometimes its better to not be liked believe it or not anyway.. i have a window view at my job its really a blessing.. i have one of the best, if not the best view in that entire building.. i am very thankful for my job.. who knew getting laid off last year would lead to better opportunities for me? anyway.. i hope all of u are doing well .. i guess i don't have much more to say but i think i will post a video in a minute.. feel free to leave a comment and let me know what u think this video is about us men changing the way we approach relationships and women i posted this comment on a youtube video.. i thought i'd post it here as well, maybe it will help inspire someone:
there's a girl at my job who is 26 and she had a baby like a yr and a half ago.. so of course she is used to being a little smaller but i told her she looks better now with the extra weight.. she said she is going to get some fat taken out of her stomach and put into her butt.. i try to tell her she looks good already.. but she seems to not care what i say.. i also tried to say "ok u have 1 kid now so what r u going to do if u have another kid? u will be going back and forth to doctors.. just be comfortable in your skin u look good already" but i don't think women listen to men these days.. anyway.. her child's father is in prison so its one of those situations where its like........ maybe i should stop trying to talk to her because she might be what nas called a black girl lost.. they just want what they want and do what they do.. i believe her lack of self esteem comes from something deep rooted.. its not her looks.. but imo it is manifesting in her physical self image... being a black male i understand some of the things we go through may cause us to have low self esteem.. like racism coming from teachers may make us think we aren't smart or we are unable to accomplish things.. i think i had somewhat of a complex about this at one time until i got a job where i had to talk to old people over the phone to help them find senior living.. that was when i realized i was way more capable than i ever gave myself credit for.. because when u are on the phone talking to someone who can't go fishing anymore, can't hardly remember things anymore, or they can't wipe their behind anymore- it really makes u see how capable u are and how u are taking it for granted in some ways.. so i ended up going back to school and i got a masters degree during the time i worked at the senior living company... so my point is- sometimes we as black people have to take a step back, realize racist people tried to tell us we weren't smart all our lives or they tried to tell us we are criminals all our lives, or they tried to tell us we wouldn't accomplish anything all our lives.. but all of that is nothing but lies.. and we have to first acknowledge that the system tried to play us.. and then we have to make a decision to defy and/or overcome that system.. we can't just live in low self esteem and spend all our money on bigger butts or nicer clothes.. we just need to see the truth and our narrative will change that was the comment.. but i want to say some more quick things concerning the girl.. she is 26 so imo.. lipo is not the answer.. A. if she thinks weight fluctuations won't come and go in life she is likely mistaken.. i don't think its a good habit to get in to try and get work done for an extra 20 or 30 lbs.. like i said i think fluctuations here and there are kinda normal B. her booty is already big enough.. this girl looks so good its not even funny.. so when she says she wants work done its obvious she has some type of complex also.. when it comes to the racism.. to explain it more.. most teachers u come across are white females.. so a lot of times u are not given the benefit of the doubt.. not saying they are all bad, but sometimes they look down on you.. for example when i graduated and got a masters, i had to get a hood to symbolize a masters degree.. and when i went to get one, the white woman at the desk was like "are you sure you need this?" like as if to say "you're in the wrong line, you didn't earn this" they do things like this sometimes more overtly and sometimes more subtly.. but we have to just recognize it for what it all is... a lie.. we are capable and smart and don't need outside validation to achieve.. and we don't need to overcompensate for a low self esteem with looks and status when we can just shed outside notions, look inward and have true self esteem knowing we are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord above |
enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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