by the grace of God i got a lot done this weekend
i got a lot done without even really feeling like i was trying i attribute some of this to the fact that i am single and not looking for a female being single really feels good to me right now.. there's a decent amount of backstory to why i feel so good about it one aspect of the backstory is last year for a while i felt like i was being pulled in two different directions.. one direction was toward my ex and the other direction was toward church today i am single and i haven't been to church since like march.. so it just feels good to be in my own zone i haven't turned my back on God or anything.. but it just feels good to not be caught in the middle anymore.. i was really going through a lot during that time and sometimes i feel like i'm still recovering mentally when u are living a life of constantly moving and never being settled, and always chasing things- man it really gets old anyway.. i could go on about all of this stuff but i won't.. i just wanted to partially explain why i have been enjoying solitude so much this weekend i barely spoke to anyone i just did little things i wanted to do did laundry got groceries got haircut bought cords i needed cleaned kitchen got and played a new game (actually an old game.. alundra on ps1) juiced fixed my watch found and bought a desk (the one i'm using now is a $40 desk i got from walmart.. not really a real desk, more like a card table) but anyway.. i just did a bunch of things i wanted to do, i didn't have to hear any crap or answer to anyone i just chilled a lot.. watched a lot of youtube, and did random things.. it feels good to live in peace and quiet and solitude after having such a crazy past 2 years or so so on a diff note.. alundra is pretty cool so far.. i am at the first save point so i will have to let u guys know more about it as i play it more hmm what else.. i feel like i'm getting back to myself still.. a bad relationship takes so much out of u that its like u don't know who u are after a while.. i feel like each day i'm quietly rediscovering myself and i am very much enjoying it.. i am good company- i don't need outside validation i am able to validate myself for a number of reasons but i will give u two 1. because the Lord made me 2. because women like "bad boys" and "nice guys finish last" and "bad boys are exciting" and "good guys are boring" ...............my point being that if women only like bad men and they don't like me then that probably means i'm a good man... so widepread rejection or disinterest from women actually tends to validate me more than tear me down.. i liken it to when the Bible says "friendship with the world is enmity with God" ..............sometimes its better to not be liked believe it or not anyway.. i have a window view at my job its really a blessing.. i have one of the best, if not the best view in that entire building.. i am very thankful for my job.. who knew getting laid off last year would lead to better opportunities for me? anyway.. i hope all of u are doing well .. i guess i don't have much more to say but i think i will post a video in a minute.. feel free to leave a comment and let me know what u think this video is about us men changing the way we approach relationships and women
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enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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