someone commented me on youtube.. i'm cloud air interesting.. i forgot all about that comment i left until this person commented me today
i am now living in memphis
the reason for this is primarily because of a dream i had in may 2020 where i ended up going to church the church is in west tennessee, so when i woke up i was like ok let me try to go to west tennessee.. i was still in a lease so it took a while but now i'm here so far i'm not really feeling it.. when i sit in my apartment it doesn't feel like home, instead it feels like a temporary landing spot.. and when i go out it feels even less like home however my mindset is that i want to try and see this through what i mean by see it through is just basically try to stay here for the duration of my lease and see if the Lord gives me instructions from now until then so far i feel like i fit in more with people back in spring hill, however one thing this place may be able to offer me is a more fair shot at a better job sometimes i think people where i'm from don't want to hire me due to racial bias.. i've been around a number of people who either fear me, are suspicious of me, or they feel that i "won't be a good fit" because i apparently do not look like their traditional hiree just to give you an example of what i mean, let me explain the last few jobs i got 1st job at brookdale - was interviewed by three people.. two were white and one was black.. i don't think i would have been hired if the black one wasn't there 2nd job at brookdale - was hired by a lesbian 1st job at cigna - was hired without being seen physically, got it purely based on credentials listed on resume job at fresenius - was hired by a latina 2nd job at cigna - was hired by two lesbians my point is, i haven't really gotten jobs unless there has been some type of diversity in HR, and usually there is no diversity in HR generally HR is a white female gatekeeper who seems wary of letting me in the door even my last few interviews i had where i spoke two four different white women all went fairly well except for one of the regular american white woman.. the two british ones were actually really cool.. the vibe i got from one of the american women was that same "you can't do this job and i'm going to prove it" vibe i've had before.. she was the only one who asked me what my weaknesses were out of everyone.. i call that the "throw yourself under the bus" question.. and she said some stuff that i felt was actually offensive, when she started asking me if i think i can work with upper management.. like what is that even supposed to mean? imo it comes off like you view me as being somehow unworthy or lower than others as opposed to just being a person who is paid to do a task like everyone else whether high or low on the totem pole so basically i'm saying it seems like i don't get a fair shot at jobs where i'm from sometimes.. i could continue giving examples but just trust me.. maybe i will have more of a shot at jobs in this memphis area because there are a lot more black faces maybe my race won't be such an issue and i will have a fair chance at getting in the door so with all of that said i guess maybe its somewhat of a trade off for now.. on one hand i may not be in my comfort zone, but on the other hand i may be able to be taken seriously for careers one thing that has kinda bothered me so far is like.. everyone here appears to be wearing masks.. in spring hill only people who wanted to wear masks wore masks at the planet fitness i went to back home, people didn't wear masks.. but i went to a planet fitness here to check it out and they said its mandatory to wear masks while working out- which seemed crazy to me i refuse to wear a mask while working out so i guess i will have to try and find some way to get exercise .. i don't know what i'm going to do right now one nice thing though is i'm on the 3rd floor where i live so there's no one above me making a ton of noise so there are some good things i guess and some bad things.. i want to just keep things in perspective and focus on what i'm here for.. which is to be obedient to the dream i had in may i don't know how long the Lord wants me to be here but maybe He will reveal that to me i ordered a package from amazon and it says they delivered it 2 hours ago but i don't have a package.. so if someone stole it, this is not exactly a great first impression of this city.. what i ordered was like $43 people seem to be afraid here also.. like one day i was sitting in my car trying to work my gps and a car drove up to turn next to me, but i noticed instead of turning, the car just tried to act like it was still going forward.. once i noticed this i just drove away because i figured they were afraid, and when i looked in my rear view i was right because they did a u-turn in the middle of the street to go and make their original turn when i drove off also when i went to get my mail some woman saw me and sort of jumped like she was startled.. i was like hey i'm just getting my mail, and she walked off another thing that happened was i went in the office and the woman literally asked me "how can i help you" like 3 times before i could even get a word in.. almost as if to say "tell me what you need now because you're scaring me, or because you're annoying me" so this town is not really what i'm used to so far i am not sure what to make of everything so far but my main concern is being where the Lord wants me to be i haven't told any of my family i'm here because this is hard enough already.. the main thing i want is for the Lord to really show me that He is in this anyway i'm out for now peaCe i think incels are the most underrated group of people on the internet i am not an incel however i did want to see if my notions about them were right or wrong about two years ago and what i found was that my notions about them were mostly wrong then i soon realized most people are closed off to incels once i got into listening to incels, one day i told my friend i liked hearing what they had to say and when i said this he actually went off.. his response was so crazy i couldn't even say anything back.. he acted like he knew everything about them yet he was totally closed off from hearing anything i was trying to tell him.. he kept saying they hate women and he just totally went off so from there i realized a lot of people don't really get the root of what inceldom is about if i personally was to say what it is, i would say incels are brutally honest about how superficial our society is people will say they target women and all of this- but the truth is women are more superficial than men i didn't make the rules but it just is what it is.. we men will give mostly any decent woman a chance.. women on the other hand have a list of demands for men to meet and they only want the top 10 to 20% of men a few examples we've heard recently -b. simone talking about she refuses to date a man with a 9 to 5 -asian doll (a bickenhead who isn't even asian) saying she only deals with killers -those women who went viral saying men who want a ps5 are basically losers -the one woman who said she wanted a drug dealer who can give her $50,000 at any moment a few months ago the list goes on meanwhile i just saw someone posted lizzo in the thot section of bx lol.. men are just more accepting of women than women are of men so imo its not that women are targeted, its just that the truth is women are brutal in this society.. they want body positivity when it comes to themselves and their weight, but if a man is short, has a "dad bod," or has a small weiner, women will flat out reject you, make fun of you, humiliate you, etc incels tell a lot of truth about what we are up against in society one thing i have personally realized is the things incels teach about how your looks affect your experience in life reach further than just dating and relationships.. when i looked around i saw a lot of funneling of people based on how they looked... many good looking people get jobs easier than less traditionally attractive people.. many severely overweight people are stuck in their position and they are trying to get out.. but its their look that has them trapped i looked around at my environment and i saw hispanic women basically doing a sort of "room service" in our office building- restocking coffee stuff and picking up trash.. black guys delivering packages and lifting things that need to be moved.. white people in upper positions wearing suits.. black women occupy lower positions but have the illusion of success since they are at least in the office lookism- which is a lot of what incels discuss, actually encompasses racism embracing this shows u how for lack of a better word "bs" our society is and can be it also shows you what you truly need to focus on.. for example.. if you think treating women well will get them to like you- incels will tell you the truth, that women will leave a committed and loving 5'4 guy for a jerk who is 6'4 they don't pull punches, they just tell you the truth.. many others will tell you "take her on a nice date, you'll win her over" etc etc but if you listen to that stuff before you know it- you're a simp incels just tell you "you're 5'4.. looksmax, and money max, or its over" imo it is freeing to understand there's nothing wrong with you- you just live in a superficial society and time period one false notion is that all they do is complain but what i've found is they have found a way to take the sting out of the most uncomfortable truths with humor they are very intelligent and funny.. one of the funniest bunches of people i've come across on the internet.. their reddit was taken down but i was on it before it was removed and they had me cracking up on the daily when i say they are intelligent, what i mean is they seem to have a lot of actual data and examples to back up what they say (ill try to post an example video toward the end of this) and here's one thing i hope every male hears incels are a part of the manosphere and what they contribute is valid i ran into a guy online recently for example and he gave someone bad advice on how to get women.. he told this man to get out more and talk to more women but imo he was wrong because it was obvious to me that the guy had low value to women.. take urkel.. if urkel goes out and talks to 50 women he will come back with no phone numbers.. if someone like justin timberlake goes out to talk to 50 women, he will come back with 50 phone numbers my point was that the guy who was receiving the advice needed to work on himself, telling him to talk to more women when he is low value is an exercise in futility.. he needs to increase his value now i said all of that to say this- the reason the guy who gave the advice didn't think about it this way is because he does not pay attention to the things incels have to say.. he basically gave red pill advice to a black pill situation everything is not about game and being alpha.. there is more to the equation than that you should not overlook any aspect of the manosphere imo.. i have found that they all have some relevance.. i hope we all realize this one day and stop fighting and instead come together to reach common goals as men whether red pill, black pill, pua, mgtow, alpha, incel etc.. each voice has some knowledge to impart so anyway.. i just wanted to put this out there.. i have learned a lot from incels and i feel that they are the most underrated group on the internet.. i know women will never understand incels since men literally are begging to smell their farts and drink their bathwater- but i think a lot of us men should give them more credit for their contributions final thing i want to say is i'm not trying to tell anyone to be an incel, my point is just that they have a lot of good points and i am not an incel myself, just like i am not a pua (pick up artist), but i might actually listen to pua videos and take some info to put in my arsenal these are just some random incel videos from facelms and inceltv.. i do like their channels.. many good points on lookism, racism, heightism, and the lies of society i came up with a quote today
"no one wants a relationship until they realize they can't get one" when u look around this seems to be the case everyone is fine with sleeping around until they realize no one wants to actually settle with them a lot of these people have the nerve to be hurt when no one wants to settle, when they themselves had no intention on settling in the first place they only wanted to play with u, but have the nerve to be upset when they realize u only wanted to play with them too a lot of these people looking for relationships are actually just pass arounds who realized they weren't the ones doing the passing around- and all of a sudden the game wasn't fun anymore when they realized they weren't "winning" ultimately a lot of times these are the reasons why desperation is a bad thing if u take someone who is desperate, the question is WHY are they desperate? if the answer is because they were recently being passed around, u probably don't want them either had a conversation on a forum, decided to share part of it.. here a guy tries to say men and women are the same when it comes to cheating.. what i said was its worse if women do it.. i never said its not wrong if men do it, its just worse if women do it.. he argues that its the exact same regardless of gender.. i went on to somewhat explain why it is worse when women cheat.. just thought i'd share this here
clown on forum: Genders have different expectations because that’s how society wants you to think. It had made us normalize to the idea that somehow women committing sins deserve a more severe punishment than men. me: i hate it when people say stuff like "society is telling u this" because its like saying the person hasn't thought out whatever they said u are insinuating everyone is a zombie except yourself which is pompous and ridiculous if a guy is 35 and lives with his parents and plays with action figures all day.. its a problem if a 7 yr old kid does the same thing, its all good there are diff expectations of different people.. sorry to break this to you, but men and women are different if a burglar comes in my house how would i look telling my girl to get up, and go see what that noise was? we have different roles.. if a woman cheats she is a useless whore.. it is worse if she cheats than if a man cheats.. just like if i send my wife to fight a burglar, its much worse than if my wife sends me to do the same thing we do not live by the same rules.. a woman who cheats is utterly useless to a man.. a man who cheats on a woman can still be good to her in some capacities stop trying to make everything the same, u sound like one of those dumb feminist amber rose "i can be a slut and be empowered" skanks it doesn't work that way a woman can be a trophy wife, and not work.. a man who doesn't work is called a bum stop trying to act like everything is equal when its not, cuck someone came in and commented on my last comment about all the diff forms of lies
i just want to post what they said.. the guy said: You literally just defined a narcissist bro i said: thank you, finally someone recognizes it.. you are exactly right he said: Yup, know exactly what ur talking about. Shit crazy, you can't win against those types, they'll make you believe you're in the wrong and crazy and will fuck your whole head up. Smh i want to post this interaction i had on a forum.. here's what some guy said:
My ex bitch admitted to me in the middle of an argument that she plays dumb so she can be right, I almost lost it. Some of these woman are fucking crazy i said this in response: yep! my ex did the same kind of stuff after being with her i realized there are a lot of different forms of lies here are a few: a regular lie - (do you have herpes? she says no but she does... and yes that was an actual conversation i've had) playing dumb - (like u said) plausible deniability - ("my phone died" it conveniently died at booty call hours) distraction - (designed to keep you from seeing the truth) gaslighting - (when they tell you you're crazy when you're actually making sense) virtue signaling - ("oh i'm not that type of girl" .. generally this is a preemptive lie.. they generally want to say it before they do something suspicious, so when you catch on she will just say "i just told u the other day i'm not that type!") deflection - (similar to distraction but instead of just throwing you off the scent, she hurls an insult at you, or puts the spotlight on you, so now you are defending yourself.. this makes them very happy to do this to you- because they feel like they outsmarted you, also- the ones who do this are cheaters) there are more but these are just some that i became privvy to after dealing with that horrible skank i honestly feel like i got some type of phd on female nonsense after that relationship.. sometimes i try to tell men things about women and they think i'm cappin- but they don't know what i've been through this has been in my head for a while now
i finally decided to share it these are my tips on dreams please don't take this lightly <--- that goes for me too these tips are in no particular order 1. when you have a dream, ask yourself why you might be having it on that particular day one time i had a dream the day before my birthday.. the dream was about my ex who i hadn't spoke to in 4 months i didn't understand why i had a dream about her when we hadn't spoke in so long well looking back i understand now.. what happens when your birthday comes around? right, your ex contacts you looking back i think that was God's way of saying "she will come back, make the right decision and ignore her" because the dream i had with her was horrible let me give a second example of this.. this one is recent i had a dream where i went out of my way to say something nice to someone, then when i did this- that person said thank you and then they gave me a message about me getting a new job offer.. what was interesting about the dream to me was, if i had never went out of my way to say the nice thing, i would have missed the message about the job offer the message about the job was that "its two months out" i didn't know what that meant, but the other day (i'm not going to go into it fully) something happened and i was reminded of that dream.. so much so that i looked it up (because i record them) lo and behold, it was exactly 2 months after i had that dream i know i skipped a lot of information because i don't want to share it.. but just keep in mind .. ALWAYS think about "why am i having this dream at this time" or "what is coming" .. always just make sure to think about the timing and what it may be saying, for now or for later 2. this is a big one if you have a dream and you don't understand it, in my experience one reason is because the Lord wants you to seek out someone who can interpret it part of the reason He wants you to do this is because once you find someone who can interpret it, you have also found someone who is a man of God in other words, once you find this person- you have also found someone who is trustworthy to you on some level.. maybe they can be a friend, or maybe they are a preacher God led you to, or maybe they will have another word for you down the line and now you will know not to doubt them one example of this in the Bible is with Daniel.. when he interpreted the dream, the king then knew he could trust Daniel and he knew he could trust God as well what makes this revelation so important is.. it can push you in the right direction you could have a dream that you don't understand and you could just discard it, or be frustrated that you can't understand it but when you know that's not the end, its the beginning, it changes things you can write it down, then think about all the people you know who seem to have a genuine walk with the Lord, and just see if anyone can interpret it.. if they do- then that may be the start of a lasting relationship or maybe u just get it interpreted and thats it, but either way, you took that extra step and received the yield, and that's what's important these two things are things i have learned from dealing with dreams since about 2016 please take heed to them.. i have not taken heed to all of mine and i have regretted not doing so also if i never mentioned it, make sure you write down or record your dreams when you wake up don't take them for granted because you want to have as many as possible.. if you take them for granted then why would the Lord continue to give them to you? show Him that you want to hear His voice by valuing the dreams you get i'm not saying all of your dreams mean something, but in my experience, a lot of them do mean something and you don't want to miss a specific Word from the Lord to you short recap 1. peep the timing and why the timing is the way it is 2. not understanding a dream is not always the end, sometimes it is the beginning- seek an interpreter the other day i just got an understanding of how to cut your work day from 8 hours per day to 4
when i say "i got an understanding" i attribute it to God because it just sort of appeared in my mind.. so glory to God peep this if u wish, maybe let me know what u think also you currently likely work 8 hours per day 5 days per week in order to work 4 hours per day here's what you do 1. find a way to make money, find a way to monetize something that you actually want to do.. for me, i can monetize a book 2. build that thing.. for me, this means actually write the book you will have to work on this in your spare time.. so you may possibly work 12 hours per day for a while in order to reach the 4 hours per day what i mean by that is this.. you would work your regular 8 hour job, then instead of surfing the internet after work or playing video games, or talking on the phone, you spend time working on your "thing" or perhaps you still goof off after work, but you sacrifice weekend time for your "thing" either way you spend time on the thing to build it 3. once it is built, sell it and promote it (instead of the 4 hours on building, now you use the 4 hours on selling and promoting) 4. once the income from the thing eclipses the income from the 8 hour job, quit the 8 hour job and devote yourself to the "thing" 4 hours per day there, now through this process you have earned a 4 hour day.. a 20 hour work week, that is more lucrative than your current 8 hour job that you don't like doing i also want to point something out about the income keep in mind that your 8 hour job likely only pays you what they want to pay you, not exactly what you are worth maybe you went to school and earned a doctorate degree but you make $45k/yr you have put in a ton of effort but you are not getting a ton of money back this is why it will be easy for you to eclipse your current income, because when you get paid from your "thing" you will not shortchange yourself the way a job would a regular 9 to 5 might earn $500 and pay you $20 when you do your "thing" if you generate $500 you can take $420 and put the rest back into supplies or whatever there is a huge difference in working for yourself and working for someone else is basically what i'm saying so there you have it, this just came to me the other day, i really believe this is a plan to a better career and more money I thank God for dropping this on me.. hopefully i can follow it and see it through |
enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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