i am now living in memphis
the reason for this is primarily because of a dream i had in may 2020 where i ended up going to church the church is in west tennessee, so when i woke up i was like ok let me try to go to west tennessee.. i was still in a lease so it took a while but now i'm here so far i'm not really feeling it.. when i sit in my apartment it doesn't feel like home, instead it feels like a temporary landing spot.. and when i go out it feels even less like home however my mindset is that i want to try and see this through what i mean by see it through is just basically try to stay here for the duration of my lease and see if the Lord gives me instructions from now until then so far i feel like i fit in more with people back in spring hill, however one thing this place may be able to offer me is a more fair shot at a better job sometimes i think people where i'm from don't want to hire me due to racial bias.. i've been around a number of people who either fear me, are suspicious of me, or they feel that i "won't be a good fit" because i apparently do not look like their traditional hiree just to give you an example of what i mean, let me explain the last few jobs i got 1st job at brookdale - was interviewed by three people.. two were white and one was black.. i don't think i would have been hired if the black one wasn't there 2nd job at brookdale - was hired by a lesbian 1st job at cigna - was hired without being seen physically, got it purely based on credentials listed on resume job at fresenius - was hired by a latina 2nd job at cigna - was hired by two lesbians my point is, i haven't really gotten jobs unless there has been some type of diversity in HR, and usually there is no diversity in HR generally HR is a white female gatekeeper who seems wary of letting me in the door even my last few interviews i had where i spoke two four different white women all went fairly well except for one of the regular american white woman.. the two british ones were actually really cool.. the vibe i got from one of the american women was that same "you can't do this job and i'm going to prove it" vibe i've had before.. she was the only one who asked me what my weaknesses were out of everyone.. i call that the "throw yourself under the bus" question.. and she said some stuff that i felt was actually offensive, when she started asking me if i think i can work with upper management.. like what is that even supposed to mean? imo it comes off like you view me as being somehow unworthy or lower than others as opposed to just being a person who is paid to do a task like everyone else whether high or low on the totem pole so basically i'm saying it seems like i don't get a fair shot at jobs where i'm from sometimes.. i could continue giving examples but just trust me.. maybe i will have more of a shot at jobs in this memphis area because there are a lot more black faces maybe my race won't be such an issue and i will have a fair chance at getting in the door so with all of that said i guess maybe its somewhat of a trade off for now.. on one hand i may not be in my comfort zone, but on the other hand i may be able to be taken seriously for careers one thing that has kinda bothered me so far is like.. everyone here appears to be wearing masks.. in spring hill only people who wanted to wear masks wore masks at the planet fitness i went to back home, people didn't wear masks.. but i went to a planet fitness here to check it out and they said its mandatory to wear masks while working out- which seemed crazy to me i refuse to wear a mask while working out so i guess i will have to try and find some way to get exercise .. i don't know what i'm going to do right now one nice thing though is i'm on the 3rd floor where i live so there's no one above me making a ton of noise so there are some good things i guess and some bad things.. i want to just keep things in perspective and focus on what i'm here for.. which is to be obedient to the dream i had in may i don't know how long the Lord wants me to be here but maybe He will reveal that to me i ordered a package from amazon and it says they delivered it 2 hours ago but i don't have a package.. so if someone stole it, this is not exactly a great first impression of this city.. what i ordered was like $43 people seem to be afraid here also.. like one day i was sitting in my car trying to work my gps and a car drove up to turn next to me, but i noticed instead of turning, the car just tried to act like it was still going forward.. once i noticed this i just drove away because i figured they were afraid, and when i looked in my rear view i was right because they did a u-turn in the middle of the street to go and make their original turn when i drove off also when i went to get my mail some woman saw me and sort of jumped like she was startled.. i was like hey i'm just getting my mail, and she walked off another thing that happened was i went in the office and the woman literally asked me "how can i help you" like 3 times before i could even get a word in.. almost as if to say "tell me what you need now because you're scaring me, or because you're annoying me" so this town is not really what i'm used to so far i am not sure what to make of everything so far but my main concern is being where the Lord wants me to be i haven't told any of my family i'm here because this is hard enough already.. the main thing i want is for the Lord to really show me that He is in this anyway i'm out for now peaCe
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
|