i finally bought the evil within 2
i haven't started playing it yet but i did buy it.. i enjoyed the first one a lot so i guess we will see how the second one stacks up +++++++++++++++ all i've been doing lately is working.. i have also been looking for jobs.. hopefully i can get something more in line with my strengths than what i currently have +++++++++++++++ i flew out to see this girl i met on pof back in 2014.. she lived in tacoma, wa at the time anyway.. she sent me a birthday card this year and she put $50 in it that was kinda crazy cuz we barely talk anymore but it was definitely nice of her.. she was saying she may fly out here soon so that should be interesting +++++++++++++++ i have been thinking a lot about what it means to live for God and what i've been realizing is... it seems like if you live for God then you really need God if you don't live for God you kinda just get by through your own means if you live for God then you may not have your own means anymore for example.. if you want to get a spouse by your own means.. a guy may just go to a bar.. a woman may just wear revealing clothing these things may not be things God wants you to do though.. so if you are trying to live for God then you have to actually just pray for a spouse.. instead of just ignoring God and going to get what you want, you have to rely on God for what you want if you let go of your "power" and "strength" .. the first thing you realize is you need a new source of power and strength basically +++++++++++++++ another thing i've been thinking about is how i would like to start reading i tend to watch videos and lately i am kinda tired of it i like taking in information but i want to switch from videos to books i've always kindof admired people with bookshelves showing the books they've read.. i want to start reading and one cool thing is- books don't have commercials +++++++++++++++ my birthday is saturday.. i will be 36 i don't have any plans.. i might try to hang with my parents and get sir pizza +++++++++++++++ anyway.. i just finished watchin my name is earl holla back peeps
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i had to post this interaction from this forum i go to
here's the original post some guy made: I was laying down on one of our sofa's, It was probably bout a good 7 or 8:30, And my girl was sitting on the other, bigger sofa. So I'm laying there or whatever, supposedly on my back. I had already dosed off and woke up cause I heard the TV probably. So I rolled over onto my right side, then I clearly feel 2 Taps on my left rib. So I look up and answer "what?", you know thinkin it was my girl. When I looked up, nobody was there! I look to my right, and my girls sitting on the sofa watchi the TV. So I asked her "You was just tappin me over here?" she responded, "no, I haven't moved. Then I went back to sleep cause the shit had done happened before. And since then Its happened about 6 or 7 times! note: there was more but i'm just trying to keep this concise ok so then i posted this: ur living with your girl? my guess is she is into some witchcraft or occult stuff try to look through her belongings if you can when she isn't around.. see if you can find any weird jewelry or books, or indicators of her dabbling into spiritual things.. also check her phone or youtube history if you feel inclined a lot of women are into this stuff and they don't tell anyone.. they do it because they feel powerless in life and so they get into diff aspects of the spirit realm for "power" tapping into this stuff can bring demons into your life is your life still normal? or are things beginning to go awry? i don't know if my ex was into that stuff but i can tell you that my life got worse and worse the longer i was around her, to the point where i ended up living with my parents.. when i got away from her everything went back to being good again also look to see if she is cheating.. because i think that can bring a weird spirit around also then another guy "dakidjahsiah" posted this.. which i really wanted to share because it was very interesting (it was in response to my comment): this might be the one.. i was living with a girl i later found out was into voodoo. but when i asked she didn't see it as bad. she said its just like any other religion. then im like if thats the case why shorty never revealed this. i had to find out going thru her personal shit. she used to buy these shiny rocks online and sleep with them under the pillow. she had an open bible in her closet with a feather, oregano, a chicken foot on top of the pages. on one of the cupboards in the kitchen she wrote "bitch ass dreads having nigga" and covered it in aluminum foil. im guessin this was after an argument with me. i got dreads lol. i always wondered why was aluminum foil on them shits but never removed it until i was movin out. during the last argument we had this bitch voice started changing. she began saying her name is "erzulie dantor" . of course im like bitch shut yo dumb ass up. but theres no way she faked it her whole accent changed too. she sounded like mofos used to talk back in the 1800's. i recorded her during this and still got the recordings. she's half haitian and jamaican. i then do some googles and find out erzulie dantor is a spirit thats revered in voodoo circles. and then i read multiple accounts of this spirit taking over and speaking through people (all of em women) man i can keep going but u get the picture wasnt scared just more so like "so this shit is real" ok so that was it, i just wanted to share all of that.. i felt it was interesting and maybe someone will come across this and it will help them who knows anyway, peaCe these matches had me on edge when i watched them last night it was a good battle winner got some serious $$$
the other day i watched a documentary on nirvana
i really wanted to watch bebe's kids but i couldn't find it anywhere on any of these digital channels anyway.. i peeped the nirvana doc and it was bringing back memories because i got into nirvana a lot back in 07 i remember i even had a kurt cobain lunchbox (yes i used it, it wasn't just for novelty) i never really liked in utero but definitely liked nevermind, and i really liked that song "you know you're right" that didn't come out until well after kurt was gone.. i believe it came out in 2002 i had stopped listening to their music when i found out what kurt was saying in a certain song.. i don't want to repeat it but it was just sacrilegious basically but the documentary reminded me of how much i grew to enjoy that nevermind album.. one of my favorite songs on it was "on a plain" that album had some good cuts and kurt had great vocals on the songs.. what i like so much is how he expressed himself through the music so well.. no matter what his lyrics were saying, you were able to feel the emotion of his intent i think korn was nirvana 2.0 they are diff bands but i definitely see how korn sort of intercepted the baton from nirvana in some ways anyway.. i didn't really have a point in this entry.. i just wanted to talk about how that documentary took me back to my nirvana phase i even put some nirvana references in my lyrics back then in a song i did called "loose" i said "like kurt cobain, chillin on a plain/ nevermind what i say its just spoken pain/"
i did that song back in 07
anyway.. hope u all are doing well peaCe for now on this forum someone asked what is something that annoys u
i responded.. decided to share my response here the guy said: For me it would be people that take forever at ATMs, people that play headphone less loud ass music on their phones, bad/lazy customer service and people who stare to name a few. What about you? i said: i agree with u on people who play loud music on their phone.. its my main pet peeve with black people (i'm black).. u will be watchin tv and someone will come sit on the couch and play something from youtube on their phone like ur not watching tv.. not on some race type stuff but i've just only seen black people doing it... i remember being at the barbershop a few months back and in there people have conversations and listen to whatever is on the tv.. but some guy literally came in and while he was getting a cut he pulled his phone out and started playing his whole mixtape.. it was super annoying.. and this guy was rappin about movin bricks he looked like he was 40 lol i disagree about bad customer service though.. someone asked me what is the hardest thing in life and i said i think the hardest thing is to get up and go to work every day.. i mean look at all the crime, the scams, the only fans, etc people just don't want to go to work every day for hand to mouth pay.. i can't really separate the worker from that.. i mean in the worst times of rona- the everyday worker at walmart or at taco bell held everything together.. if it wasn't for them we all would have been screwed i always keep in mind they are the backbone of society in many cases.. they have the most demands (the customer is always right so literally everyone who walks in the door is your boss) and they are the most undervalued, because their pay is oftentimes just pizza money so ultimately, if they don't know the answer to my question, or if they have an attitude, or they mess something up, i actually understand and don't let it bother me anyway.. my contribution to this discussion is.. i tend to be annoyed at people who scrape the living crap out of those yogurt cups i think i will be moving in december
the reason for this is because i had a dream in may of this year and in the dream it basically consisted of me discovering my purpose from the teaching of a specific pastor since this pastor was specific, i decided i should probably move to go to that church at first i didn't understand why i had this dream in may when my lease was far from being up.. but i think the reason i had the dream in may was because the Lord wanted to give me time to pray about it and get my faith up and pray about the circumstances surrounding the move my flesh doesn't really want to move but i can't really argue with my own dreams +++++++++++++ one thing i have noticed lately is the enemy tends to try to take u backwards while the Lord tends to try to bring you forward this is just a general thing i have noticed +++++++++++++ i came up with a quote not too long ago.. here it is "actions speak louder than words, but looks speak louder than actions" the thought behind the quote is this: appearances are a big part of society whether or not you get a job is largely based on appearance whether or not you get a spouse is largely based on appearance whether or not people like you is largely based on appearance whether or not someone likes this quote does not make it any less true +++++++++++++ i did a youtube video not too long ago talking about how i was going to stop watching mgtow and red pill videos i am not sure if i ever completely stopped watching them, but i slowed down a lot and i noticed a big difference in myself i still agree with mgtow and red pill, but i noticed how toxic some of those videos can be i felt way better when i stopped watching them and again, i still agree with them.. what i mean is, i just felt way better not having constant flashbacks to all the horrible things women have done to me i would say an important aspect of healing is putting distance between yourself and the thing.. so that it just matters less and less but mgtow and red pill were keeping my trauma close by and make no mistake, dealing with an emotionally abusive woman is a traumatic experience +++++++++++++ believe it or not there are actually 2 things that make me feel like moving might be decent 1. there are more pretty aa women where i will be living.. and it will be nice having all that eye candy 2. i won't be living under anyone because my apartment will be on the 3rd floor.. i have grown tired of hearing people above me making a bunch of noise +++++++++++++ lately online i have been seeing a lot of women (mostly aa ones) questioning whether or not they should submit to their men i want to speak on this bro lol i don't care anymore i don't care what women do or don't do anymore if u guys look on my site, you will see me talking about women for years basically because i cared.. i don't care anymore if women want to be the man in the relationship, cool if women want to be the leader in their relationship, cool whatever women want to do- go right ahead i have been blessed to reach a place where i don't care anymore and the reason is because i have learned how to let go of women when i was in my last horrendous "relationship" i tried and tried to make it work while all she did was exploit my desire to keep us together i don't try to hold on to women anymore so with this comes a certain freedom.. since i don't feel like i need women for validation or anything anymore, i am able to let them go since i am able to let them go, i can easily send toxic unsubmissive women packing i just don't care anymore.. when women say they don't want to submit, all they're basically saying is they want to be single mothers if that's what they want for their lives- cool i am tired of women who don't want to be who they are supposed to be and i am tired of women who don't want to do what they are supposed to do i just no longer care.. just like cardi b said "i don't cook, i don't clean/ but i still got this ring/" she is saying she takes pride in not living her gender roles this is what women are today.. they are happy to be the opposite of who they should be and that's fine with me go right ahead and keep doing what you're doing keep entertaining these jailbird "tough guys" you like keep having your friends with benefits relationships keep saying how independent you are keep doing each and every stupid thing u want to do +++++++++++++ anyway.. that's it for now holla back i've been on a "diet plan" lately
i will talk about it a little its pretty simple what i've been doing is just eating raisin bran before meals i do this 2 or 3 times/day so whatever i want, i still eat it.. but i just try to eat something healthy first something like raisin bran, salad, oatmeal, cheerios, etc it appears like this has been "working" someone said i look like i lost weight yesterday i haven't worked out or anything some guy on a forum was saying he wanted to fight his ex's new boyfriend
i don't want to get into the situation but i will just say the reason was because he was lied to and the two of them played him for a fool i left a comment explaining how i got past bitterness and anger in the realm of relationships.. i decided to share it here: op it may not feel like it.. but you dodged a bullet women may play us for a moment, but in the end they play themselves move on and live your best life.. its funny that u would post this because i was just thinking about this today i used to be upset that my ex was such a liar and it was like i never understood how much she was lying to me until we broke up and she wasn't there to gaslight me anymore it was kinda eating away at me.. so let me tell u the two things that helped me move past it 1. if she did u wrong, try to think of times when u did wrong to others.. it doesn't have to be in relationships, it can just be if u stole something, or punched someone who didn't deserve it think about wrong u've done in life for at least 5 minutes.. when the 5 minutes is up, chances r u will not see your ex the same here's the psychology behind it lets say u are 40.. lets say when u were 20 u were stealing a lot.. now lets say now that u are 40, some 20 year old steals something from you.. u may not pop off on them because u know u were the same way at that age it just helps u to calm down if u feel like u've been played 2. think about a time when you took an L.. but then u bounced back.. like for me it was- i bought a printer and it only lasted like 2 months.. and even in that 2 months it seemed like it was begging for ink every other day so i finally cut my losses and tossed that thing in the dumpster... once i threw it away i felt better immediately now think about your relationship the same way just like the printer, u thought she would be good but she was horrible, and she played games with u- but now its time for u to cut it loose and move on and just see it for what it was.. a bad purchase, not something that will follow u throughout life, just one bad purchase that was frustrating, and u may have lost some money but u are free to move on from here hopefully these will help u, they helped me.. and now when i see women doing scandalous things it doesn't bother me anymore because i know ultimately they are the ones on the wrong track in life, not me someone on the forum didn't like my thoughts on the last of us 2
i decided to post my response to their response here they are the bold underlined yellow, i am the regular letters: damn so much stupid shit in this post u understand the world the game takes place in right? the women are out there doing manual labor and hunting people and zombies.. how the fuck u expect them to look? they have no choice but to act more masculine or their asses would die off and be useless i disagree with u saying women would die off and become useless if they acted feminine.. the more feminine a woman is, the more men want to protect her.. so if anything, women survive by actually being feminine.. throughout perilous times in history this is what we have seen many times.. women being spared simply because they are women.. they generally are compliant and don't pose a threat, and they can give sex or nurture advocating for women to be masculine in itself is absurd because women have their own roles to play.. if they leave their roles then who will play their part? u can't walk to where you go without leaving where you were but anyway, they masculinize these female characters purposely, they use the game setting to attempt to justify it, but ultimately it is just an agenda female characters become more and more masculine and more and more gay with time i played horizon zero dawn in 2017.. i thought to myself "they can't make a female character anymore masculine than her" well, i was wrong because its 2020 and abby is the strongest man in the world also it's not like 90% of women in real life are good looking.. why would u expect it in a world where there's barely any humans left to begin with? like i said, they went out of their way to make them less attractive than in real life.. that is the problem.. they are making them ugly and giving them smaller boobs and making them look like men on purpose.. to fit their agendas abby isn't a tranny and neither is lev... abby is just built cause she works out, like a lot of females in real life, and lev just cut her hair to try and be a boy cause they were trying to marry her off to some older dude and she wanted to be a soldier instead here is the definition of a transvestite: a person, who assumes the dress and manner usually associated with a different sex it doesn't matter if on paper they say abby is straight or whatever... she is still a transvestite.. she looks like a guy, she acts like a guy, she thinks like a guy, and she has the mannerisms of a guy.... also, u say "she worked out a lot" but that doesn't explain the rest.. face, mannerisms, mindset, etc.. a woman with muscles is just that- abby however is basically a man.. if u don't believe me, ask urself this- would abby ever wear a skirt? (sidenote: it trips me out that people say meg the stallion is a man but peeps try to act like abby is normal) and concerning lev- it doesn't matter if they gave lev a backstory.. lev is a female who has assumed the appearance, and manner associated with the male gender... the backstory is just an excuse to put a transvestite in the game the scars being "like christians" is ur own assumption.. in a world like that, it isn't hard to believe cult-like groups would spring up, which is the case here u have a surface value outlook on this.. if u came across a white person who hated rap, and hated jordans, hated obama, and loved george zimmerman, then you know what is under their surface even if they never come out and say it.. they are racist that is what this game is like, they have certain agendas they want to push and certain people and ideas they want to demonize.. they don't have to come out and say it.. i can see through the whole thing... i personally did not like or appreciate this stuff and it ruined the game for me.. it is what it is |
enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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