i just noticed i have been saving a lot of money lately
i don't have a g/f i quit coffee i have been getting haircuts once every 2 weeks instead of once every week and i literally just saved over $450 by switching my car insurance glory to God
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i told u guys i have not liked the layout of my site for a long time
i would change it like how i used to but they removed my favorite template from this site i would like to build my own site from scratch, so yesterday i bought a book on html and css it was $30.. a good price as the book is thick with many high quality color pages and images i hope i can get this stuff down, i believe if i can then maybe i can be closer to my current dream in life which would be to create and own my own website and monetize it somehow i truly believe if i am able to monetize my website i could eventually turn it into my primary source of income and career i say this because i already have over 10 years of material, also i have albums, and i even have youtube videos and would like to learn some editing with that eventually in other words what i'm saying is.. it would be great to be an independent multi media source on the web i get a lot of ideas.. i noticed i got no ideas when i was in that horrid toxic relationship.. but now that i'm back to being alone i get ideas again i even get ideas for videos i could make that would be funny and/or informative.. a lot of my ideas are videos that point out hypocrisy anyway.. on a somewhat diff note there's a pretty bbw at the bookstore out here.. i saw her the first time i came to look for a book on how to build websites, and she recommended some ridiculous books, but she pointed me in the right direction.. but at the time i didn't have a lot of money... so i went back yesterday and bought the book and i saw her again when i went up to buy the book i thought she would be behind the counter but she wasn't.. and some skinny girl waved me over.. so i walked over to her to pay for my book and the whole time i was walking over there i was thinking "who is this skinny chick? where did the bbw go?" lol but when i got up there i was like hey there's this pretty girl who works here, is she single? and the girl was like i don't know but u can leave your number if u want and i'll give it to her i was like cool, so i did that and dipped out she never hit me up but its coo just thought i'd share that i guess i have really been more into just being by myself lately
part of the reason for this is because i generally feel like i'm bothering people when i try to talk to them when i speak to people i never really get the idea that they want to talk to me, i usually just think they are tolerating me i never really feel like they want to hear from me or like they want to have a conversation with me i think over time this has just put me in a position where i am just tired of feeling this way i am just over it.. this is a big reason why i don't really reach out to people anymore i feel like when i talk to people i am just some guy.. i don't really feel like anyone thinks of me as being important or interesting i typically just feel like people would rather speak to someone else, or get back to whatever they were doing before i called or texted them in a sense this can be bad- but i feel that i have been learning to live with it.. which is a good thing, because i feel that it is teaching me how to not be desperate or needy for anyone's love, time, or attention i can just be alone and enjoy myself without reaching out to people who think of me as an annoyance i think in a lot of ways women want to feel protected/loved, and men want to feel significant/important.. i would say i have rarely ever felt important to anyone this is an interesting thing imo to face because it shows me why i may have fallen into some of the bad habits i have fallen into, like overdoing it on coffee, or basically begging people to stay in my life who treat me like crap facing the truth of emotional lack is an eye opening thing if u are emotionally malnourished, how are u coping? since i can recognize that i do not feel like i matter, i feel that it frees me to change my habits, because imo, knowing is half the battle (if not all of it) i can say to myself "hey u want to do this, because of this" then i can seek ways to fix the "because" as opposed to being stuck on the effect of said "because" its like what i said in s.a.d. "people come and go, i can't halt the traffic" but i am not depressed or anything like that.. just thinking outloud i like this guy's videos the red pills are sometimes hard to ingest but they are real in modern society the primary reason i wanted to post this video is because from what i can tell this one is a rare look into his life most of his videos i've seen are just him talking in the present, but this one shows some of his background which helps me understand where he is coming from.. imo if u don't listen to donovan sharpe then this is a good place to start.. again because it gives his whole backstory i found this band yesterday.. i never heard them prior to yesterday.. i feel like i have heard their name here and there though i was listening to chiodos "all's well that ends well" in the gym.. i usually listen to it in the car because i have it on my usb thing.. but since i was in the gym i was listening to it on my phone from youtube when the album ended, under it there was this album from a day to remember.. its called "for those who have heart" i clicked it out of curiosity and also hoping it would be similar to that chiodos album and i was pleasantly surprised this album is so good... like.. from the first track i was literally making faces lol i was in the car just like YES... i just hit play and i was in disbelief i feel that this is the best band i've heard in a long time.. and i know they've probably been in music for a long time but i am brand new to them and i am just totally impressed they have such a huge range.. and at times their music is just so powerful i'm sooo glad to have found this band.. and to think, this is the only album of theirs that i've heard so far.. so i'm happy to have more to look into later
only on my second day of listening to this so maybe later i can give more thoughts on it or perhaps compare it to something else.. but right now i'm just enjoying it this song is really good.. i listened to a bunch today when i was at work i still remember when this song/video came out in the 90s and i recorded it on the vcr back in the day the whole song is good imo, but special props to the chorus.. that chorus is straight flames i was thinking about how dangerous a narcissistic woman with baby rabies is recently
they try to force u into marriage or try to get u to have sex with them with no protection and if she traps you with one of these things you have to deal with this maniac in some capacity for 18 yrs when i was thinking about this, something occurred to me these women with baby rabies , and these women who want to be married are on their best behavior.. they treat us well, or at least as well as they can, until they can get the upper hand but as men we basically interpret her desperation and self interest as love, care, kindness, and commitment when she is on her best behavior, we are thinking "she is so sweet" but the reality is, she is basically buttering you up.. we as men oftentimes don't realize these strong behaviors of "i want you, i love you, let's make this work" especially when they feel like pressure- are actually just her own fear, desperation, and self interest manifesting into a plan so this also made me realize its the opposite the other way so while we men interpret what is actually desperation as love and care, i also believe women interpret what is actually men's love and care as desperation have u ever really cared about a woman but over time you began to understand she took your kindness for weakness? have you ever began to understand she didn't appreciate your actions? have you ever began to understand she didn't trust you even though you gave her nothing to distrust? have you ever began to understand she sees your effort as desperation? well i think this is part of the reason why because when women are on their best behavior, oftentimes they have something up their sleeve.. they want to break down your defenses and when u are weakened they want to take something from you and wield the upperhand over you... well, we as men don't really think that way.. we usually just want to make a woman happy because she makes us happy with her presence so in short, what we are seeing is: women think u are desperate when the truth is you are in love with her and men think women are in love with them, when the truth is they are desperate ok so i am not an incel, i am actually
A. able to get sex B. uninterested in sex outside of marriage however i recently began looking at incel material online the way i found incel material was i wanted to see if i was right about the black pill basically being a suicidal version of the red pill lol so after some digging around i basically started seeing more about black pill and inceldom and their whole outlook i guess here is my verdict these guys are HILARIOUS and i don't mean it in a sarcastic way or anything, i mean this is one of the funniest groups i've ever come across online i definitely enjoy a lot of their videos for their humor, but i also appreciate their honesty they are able to face very hard truths about our modern society with humor after looking at some of their material online, i really don't get why they seem to be so hated among so many people i think incels are people who have allowed themselves to embrace who they are, where they stand in society, and the inequity we face with jokes and hard fact based research these guys have actual studies on attractiveness and facial symmetry, jawline metrics, the importance of height, etc etc etc they cut through all of society's lies and they just tell u the truth.. u are alone because you are 5'4 she doesn't call you back because she is with chad your jawline has ruined your chances of procreation i really like this community, of course i may not like everything or every aspect but this community has some great aspects 1. general lack of left right politics u find in some other manosphere communities 2. high on the humor scale 3. there is a lot of research in their videos.. this community finds the facts and just puts them right in your face 4. the community has a more empathetic tone than some of the "just be more alpha, bro" communities so those are just a few things i like about the black pill and incels off the top of my head i will however say that i think they give women too much power.. i get that being alone gets old, but i also think there's a diff between being alone and being lonely i don't think u have to be lonely just because u are single.. i think there are many other things u can do and enjoy in life without women.. and i learned this the hard way.. i remember trying to make things work in my last relationship until it got to where i sort of realized i was happier without her in my life so with that said- i do not fully agree that "its over" when women don't like you lol but i do agree that these guys make a TON of good points.. like for example.. in a sense it actually can very well be "over" for you if you are unable to pass down your genes due to lack of female attraction so imo u can't discount that they make good points anyway.. maybe i can talk more about this stuff later i personally am still mgtow though my definition of mgtow is not so much that i will never be in a relationship with another woman.. but that any relationship i have with a woman will be on my terms or i will just remain alone i have no qualms with being alone anymore.. this to me is freedom and i also do not feel hopeless or anything because i know (from experience) being alone is better than being with the wrong person i am just fine being alone and it does not depress me in the least bit.. i now understand why paul in the bible said he wishes everyone could be like him because in many ways u live a much freer existence when you are single and aren't saddled with societal norms, nagging/dissatisfied women, and/or children i think i just figured out why women lie about how they look online
when i say "lie" i mean.. this is why they post pictures at angles trying to look slimmer than they are.. and why they post pictures only from the neck up etc i used to feel like i didn't understand women because when they do this, they are actually missing out on men who like how they actually look for example, i'm not into skinny women, so if a woman posts pictures that make her look skinny, i may skip over her.. so that woman has then missed out on a guy like me who likes her how she is so i never understood why they would do such a thing, because essentially they are setting themselves up for rejection well, the thing is this.. i think i may have made a mistake thinking that women actually want men who are interested in them, or men who are "in their league" i think a more accurate assumption is that women want what they can't have.. women want to chase, women want someone who has higher status than they have etc etc they don't want a guy they can just get, they want the guy who is just out of reach, because in their minds it upgrades their status one easy way to see this in society is lizzo saying she wants someone in the nba or nfl.. lizzo can get a guy who likes her for her or a guy "on her level" but she doesn't want that guy, she wants the guy who is above her level.. she wants the guy who would typically never look at her.. because if she gets with an athlete, then in her mind it makes her have the same value and status as one of these 23yr old instagram model chicks the athletes typically like so i just wanted to put this out there women put out these pictures to look thinner to use a false bait to attract a better looking/ higher status man.. and they know its a roll of the dice but in their mind, its the only way to win because getting a guy who just likes them isn't a win, its too easy in their minds, its not a challenge, its not exciting, its not new.. they only want higher levels than what they should be able to get so they use the false bait and roll the dice "ok he might see how fat i really am and leave, but if he doesn't then i win.. i get to enjoy the higher status and act like i deserve to be in the higher status because he accepts me" i believe women don't just do this with weight but also with things like upbringing (he has a good family and upbringing meanwhile she was raised in poverty with just a single mother) or also things like morals (he tries to live right and go to church, but she's been banging different men and smoking weed and getting abortions) ...they also do it with money and career.... so everything i've just detailed here are the types of things women lie about.. because they know they have a lower status than you but they don't want you to know that so they lie about the amount of effort they put into eating right or exercising they lie about their upbringing and background they lie about their sexual past and how they feel about things like drug use or abortion they also lie about their careers and money.. making them sound more grand than what they actually are because they want to "come up" without you knowing the role you play in that come up i hope this sheds light for any men who read this.. feel free to leave a comment and let me know what u think again, i realize i was wrong to think women wanted men who are interested in them.. they want the guy who isn't because deep down, oftentimes she knows he isn't interested because he can do better.. if she wins him over then to her its a challenge, status upgrade, and an ego boost if the coveted athlete accepts lizzo, then she can look at the 23 yr old instagram model and say "see, you got nothin on me" whereas if the athlete does not accept lizzo then she must accept her spot as the goofy fat chick who doesn't typically command a ton of attention lol in their minds its about status during summer 2019, a girl named asia told me that about men's hypocrisy
she said that men as a whole require sex for a relationship, but when women are with men sexually they deem her to be a thot now.. first off, i would like to say that i am not in that group of men because i do not require sex for a relationship.. i believe sex is for marriage only hebrews 13:4 KJV "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." anyway.. here is my point i could not tell her she was wrong she was right u can't have sex as a requirement and then punish them for having sex while i will say yes, women's behavior is their own regardless of what we do and they always have the option to reject both the sex and the relationship at the same time- we as men should make sure we are being upstanding with our requirements and expectations if we as a whole want clean women then we should facilitate that many of us say we want clean women but act in a way that promotes whoredom she was right about this hypocrisy imo.. and i don't agree with women on many things because their opinions are oftentimes trash.. but in this case i believe she was right she said she did a poll online and asked a bunch of men if they would be in a relationship without sex.. they all said no.. so she was like ok then why are women who are sexually active so bad to you if you require sex? so this is just something for men to think about are your requirements and expectations congruent? |
enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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