i wanted to share an interaction i had on a forum.. so peep if interested
there was a video where a guy said "my wife kept cheating on me so i said if you can't beat em' join em' and now we're swingers" and i said the following: ______________________________ didn't watch the video past like 5 seconds but this is desperation she looks almost like a model, he looks like a regular dude he feels like the only way he can keep her is to reduce himself to this my motto is.. just be alone.. before u let your wife do u like jada does will.. leave just be alone.. there's nothing wrong with just being alone i let my horrible ex go 2 years ago and i have more money in my bank account now than ever make more money than i've ever made come home to a nice quiet apartment, i no longer listen to constant nagging and complaining, and i'm not being undermined everytime i speak anymore i just do my hobbies like writing and playing video games i try different restaurants.. and i don't have to buy a meal for an ungrateful skank anymore sometimes i even cook just for the fun of it just be alone man, u will regain your self respect and your life will improve but women's quality of life significantly decreases when you leave so u do the world a favor when u stop putting up with their crap ______________________________ then a guy came along and commented on what i said here's what he said: How long it took you to heal? Because it sounds like she got you involved in some nonsense. And also, have you talked to anyone since then? Thanksgiving makes a calendar year for me but I slipped up trying to double up on another ex afterwards instead of working on myself. That chapter's closed though and people are supposed to be left in the past for a reason lol. ______________________________ now here's what i said to his comment: first i feel like its important to explain to u what my "healing" was my healing was just to stop being angry that took a while.. for me what i had to do was basically just stop listening to anything that reminded me of her behavior.. things like narcissism videos, or mgtow, or anything that would remind me of the things she did to me the next thing i had to do was find a way to protect myself for the future what i ended up doing was writing down ways to prevent horrible women from entering my life again let me see if i can find that stuff actually..... ok i found it.. i came up with general advice, and advice specifically for men general: 1. don't choose based on looks, choose based on character 2. take heed to red flags.. each red flag u ignore is one step closer to a bad situation 3. always be able to leave.. not saying always be READY to leave (cuz thats one foot in and one foot out) im saying always be ABLE to leave.. guys who can't leave typically get walked on advice for men specifically: if you see any of this in a woman, stay away A. unwillingness to follow you B. unwillingness to give back/ contribute/ reciprocate C. ungratefulness D. inability to accept a "no" ok so once i created these i felt that i could put my guard back down.. as long as i follow these, a woman can't come into my life and wreack havoc anymore also like i said, i stopped taking in information about women.. mgtow, narcissism, pua (pick up artistry) i just removed my focus from women and their behavior and my anger began to subside.. i stopped reminding myself of the pain of loving someone who treat me like dirt i remember one time this girl very abruptly broke up with me and i called her and i went straight to voicemail, so i figured i was blocked.. and i felt really bad because i showed her so much love and she just up and blocked me that same day i stumbled over a video on youtube that was really funny and i remember cracking up laughing and that kinda showed me the power of shifting focus now im in a place where im healed and i can go back and look at the narcissism videos and other things and not be triggered for the most part and yeah i've talked to other women since then but its different for me now that i operate by my new "rules" i talk to gorgeous women who want to be with me but if they're giving me red flags then i just fall back for example i was talking to one gorgeous woman but one day she was cracking up at this joke she showed me the joke and it was a girl online saying "my man is going to kick my a** if he sees me in this fishbowl" and under it it said something like: "how i feel when my date's car doesn't have tinted windows" she thought it was so hilarious.. red flag.. and that was really who she ended up being.. gorgeous.. but not exactly someone u can 100% trust in the past i would probably just see it as a funny joke but today i really pay more attention and so i date way less now because these days i kinda see the end from the beginning if u know what i mean ______________________________ he ended up saying my post was helpful and insightful and he wished me well just wanted to share that interaction
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enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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