as of right now i owe $2664.34 on my car i feel like i'm almost there hopefully the Lord will allow me to knock out the rest and move forward if so i would like to celebrate the milestone i am thinking either maybe i will get a subscription service to something like audible or apple music, or maybe i will buy a megaretron hd which is basically just a sega genesis i'm not sure what i will do but i do want to "celebrate"
as of right now i am basically stuck at home due to the winter freeze thing going on at least i have heat, they were saying people in texas don't have heat the issue with me is i can't get out of my apartment complex.. the parking lot is just full of snow which brings me to a point i wanted to make this is the problem with hiring so many women all the time if men ran this apartment complex i'm sure they would have salt to put down so that people can drive around or maybe some of the guys could just work overtime and shovel the snow since this place is run by women its just people being unable to go anywhere or do anything i see a lot of this especially here in memphis.. places are basically run by women, and of course women would run around saying that's a great thing but its really not because you pull up to mcdonalds or whatever and you can hear in their voices and see in their performance that these women are miserable i'm not saying women can't work or whatever, but i have noticed memphis is a place where it appears only the women work and it has created a lopsided community where a lot of things are janky this country seems to be bent on learning the hard way that men need jobs you can't give women all the jobs and think things are going to run the same as when men had them anyway.. something has to give for my life i feel like so far since i've been in memphis nothing good has happened, the only good things are 1. i can go to church 2. no one is above me at my apartment making noise i am not sure what to make of this, i always thought if the Lord wanted me to move then He would do something soon after.. like maybe open a door for me to have a new career, or give me a spouse (who is not a modern skank who argues with everything i say), or help me to get a house or something.. but so far i haven't seen any of that that's not to say the Lord isn't moving but i'm not going to lie- sometimes i wonder like where is my life headed like did i miss something? is the Lord still willing to help me to get to a place i want to be? nothing has happened in my life in a sense.. like i haven't met anyone interesting, i still work the same job and my job has actually gotten worse, like.. i don't know i just hope the Lord comes through and shows me "hey James you made the right decision to move" or something i haven't really heard anything from God in a while and i know some people may read this and say i'm being negative but i feel that this is important to share because if you are trying to live for God, there may be times where you look around and say "yo this isn't fun" or "yo this doesn't make a lot of sense to me" i think Christians need to share this type of thing.. they need to be open about it.. a lot of Christians will just smile all the time and act like everything is all good but to me that's not really honest.. the truth is the Lord may take everything from you and i'm not saying He won't replace it but you should be mentally prepared.. you should know that every step you take in this walk may not be one that you want to take its just the reality of it but at the same time i am not giving up or anything, i am just hoping the Lord sees that i walked away from a comfortable life to an uncomfortable one to follow His orders and I hope He gives a blessing for that right now i'm just being patient and i'm being 100% honest about it i do miss spring hill sometimes, i do miss being able to see my family whenever, i do miss my old apartment, etc but i am trying to just look forward.. to what? i have absolutely no idea.. but i'm trying to hang in there
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
|