i finally got every person out of my life who was not really someone valuable to me
ten or eleven people altogether the most recent one i got out of my life was the last one i was holding on because she was pretty and i enjoyed speaking to her about celebrity news but she had some weird opinions that kinda made me question if we should really be familiar with one another anyway like 2 days ago we had a discussion where she ended up calling me a hypocrite over some stuff but i disagreed because of the circumstances.. but she wouldn't stop talking about it so i finally said "stop talking to me" she said "oh trust me i will" to me this just means we won't speak anymore.. which is fine because i figure more arguments like these would occur if we did so finally my circle is as small as a cheerio how do i feel about this? i feel great about it.. i feel like "free" like i am not trying to hold onto anything and instead i am leaving my social life up to the Lord He can shape it the way He wants as opposed to me trying to keep people in my life who shouldn't be in it and i'm not saying that in a negative way toward them, more like in a negative way toward myself.. those people are who they are- i was the one trying to keep relationships and trying to maintain friendships that were not really about anything i am thankful to just be alone and have a sort of "clean slate" because maybe this will give the Lord room to do certain things.. or maybe He will say "james you took so long to get to this point that you can forget about help from here" i'm not sure which way the Lord will take things but i am thankful to have all the people out of my life who i was just trying to keep for no reason.. they can go do what they want and stop pretending to care about me and i can do what i want without begging peeps to tolerate my presence
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enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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