so i went to my house to see what would happen
it didn't go the way i was hoping.. i received an email from work saying i can't work in that area and i could be terminated if i didn't work where i was contracted to work its so weird to have this occur on a work from home job but apparently they are really tracking our locations.. i figured they could be but i wanted to risk it and see... which isn't looking like it was the best idea right now i'm literally in a position where its like.. if i live in the house, i lose my job.. and if i keep the job i lose the house talk about a case of the mondays smh i kinda feel lost at the moment and i'm not sure what i'm going to do... i even have a washer and dryer coming to the house at the end of this month it definitely looks like i'm in an undesirable position and i got myself into this, this was all my doing anyway.. i guess i'm fine and don't have to actually think about this stuff for at least 2 weeks anyway.. on another note today was another one of those days where it became noticeable that no one called or texted me i pretty much let go of a lot of people because i was the only one carrying the relationship it has irked me that my sister doesn't even return my calls or anything.. but i think i'm at the tail end of being over it it has even somewhat irked me that the last few times i spoke to my mom, she said "i was just thinking about you" or "i thought about calling you" ... each time though, it was me calling.. like to some extent its just irritating to hear someone say they thought about calling, but didn't just to be honest about it i feel lost in some ways right now.. the whole working from home thing is a bit much for a person like me who already has no wife, no girlfriend, no kids, etc on a different note, i listened to the will smith audiobook.. i still think will is a cuck for what he did to chris rock but his book was good.. i'd say the first half was better than the second half.. or maybe the first 75% was better than the last 25% .. i don't know the exact percentage... but it was good what i took from it was.. will is an empath, and in some cases he has fought to un-empath himself.. to try to be a truer version of himself.. free of people pleasing i also took that life is about giving love, not receiving it.. meaning like.. giving it will make you happier than receiving it.. because its a longer lasting and more fulfilling joy.. pouring into others and giving both tap into your purpose basically at some points i felt some things were untrue.. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying they were untrue, but some parts sounded hard to believe.. like for example the first time he met jada he said she auditioned for a part on fresh prince and when she saw will she blew him off... that was hard to believe anyway.. im gnna dip for now
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enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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