i want to talk about a recent dream i had
i had this dream and a few days later by the grace of God i was able to get in contact with my pastor to get the interpretation so i will show u the dream here and then below i will give u the interpretation after you read the dream, please take a minute to try and guess the interpretation before reading it.. just for kicks.. all i can say is i was way off on my interpretation ok so before i give u the dream let me just say a quick word on the two people in it josh c: is josh is an old friend from michigan (we text here and there still) cassie: is an old friend from columbia, tn (we dont speak at all and havent for years) this dream was horrible and i wanted to just forget it initially but decided to jot it down instead just in case.. because i think keeping them is kinda like being faithful basically.. and i don't have many of them so i figured why not 3-11-20 Had a dream josh brought over a game to play.. it was like a board game.. it was a daring type of game and i think we had done it before but never like what we were about to do- so when he brought it over he also brought a girl.. the girl was basically cassie.. so he told us how to play it and this time it was supposed to be we had to kill her using household items.. somehow the way he spun it- it didnt sound as bad as that.. he spun it like we were helping her or something because she was depressed and wanted to leave life and somehow i didnt catch on to the fact that we were really going to kill her even tho thats what we were going to do.. it just came across to me like this was going to be that crazy daring game again and we were going to help this girl.. so we started the game and she like laid down and was smiling and ready so josh may have taken a turn (dont fully remember) but i just remember if he did take a turn- then soon his turn was over and it was my turn, all i know is, whether he had a turn or not, his turn wasnt nearly as bad as mine.. so when it came my turn i think josh’s job was to like hold her still or something.. so i got an item and hit her and everything was still kinda in the spirit of “the game” and we were freaked out at how she was “successfully” taking this pain.. but it was a daring game and i guess i wasnt going to lose so i got another household item to use as a weapon and i used that on her and things were getting worse as i got more violent and creative.. but the girl was still pretty silent- we were just amazed she was taking the pain.. so then (again the main object was to kill her using household objects) so i finally got this heat iron that black women use to straighten their hair and i started burning the top of her head with it.. and this sort of brought the humanity back into the game.. but by the time i began realizing the humanity- it was kinda like i also realized i couldnt stop because look at all the damage we have already done to her, we made her life worse all the while promising to “make it better” by essentially putting her out of her misery.. so now the game isnt really feeling like a game as much and is starting to look like im just harming a girl.. so i basically melt her head some and shes still alive and so she starts really begging for us to kill her or at least stop because of the pain.. well at this point i cant really do either one.. i cant stop and send her out because i realize everyone will know what we did to her and they will wonder why and they will severely punish us, and a “game” will not be a good excuse.. and i am trying to kill her but the more she screams and writhes in pain, the less i want to continue.. so basically i just have to suck it up and finish the job so i continue burning her head and face and it got to where josh and i just had to also stab her to death together because she just wouldnt really die and seeing her in pain was horrible. (i think josh kinda got a kick out of it) so anyway, i basically lost the “game” because josh had to help me finish the job so we just stabbed and beat her until she died and finally the game was over.. this had taken a lot out of me but josh wasnt nearly as affected.. we needed to cover this whole ordeal up, so we hid her away and we had to go somewhere so when we left i was acutely aware that this scarred me and i probably would never be the same and i was upset with myself for not understanding it wasnt a “game” this was real life.. i wasnt helping that girl or putting her out of her misery or being daring or any of that, i just brutally killed this girl and that was it.. so josh and i arrived somewhere and we had to act normal but he was kinda acting too normal almost like to him it was still an intense daring game in his mind and it was as if it didnt click for him as much as it did for me that we just did this horrible thing and we had no one to blame but ourselves and our stupidity because we allowed the game to blind us from humanity.. it wasnt “exciting” it was violent.. it wasnt “fun” it was horrible, it wasnt “competitive” it was demonic, basically every reason we played the game was a lie, and we (really just me) was left with this mental scar and i just didnt think i would ever be the same.. and so when we had left and went somewhere- i was with josh and around these other people and i was trying to act normal but i was realizing internally that i would never be the same and i was just sitting in this thought, and i was feeling horrible and i just basically was trying to come to terms with it and after a while i woke up ok now do your thing and try to figure out the meaning ok time's up so now let me give u the meaning i called my pastor when i was on break at work and he broke it down for me i really had no clue but i was kinda thinking the dream was along the lines of "i'm doomed" or something and i was getting pretty frightened but when he broke it down it wasn't as bad as i was imagining so basically.. the Lord was telling me to A. stop being casual with women B. repent of hurting women when i say "being casual" what i mean is like, being friends with them, flirting with them, coming into their world and kicking my feet up so to speak basically, women apparently don't have real male friends, so when i am "friends" with women, they are thinking we might have a future together.. but i am legit thinking we are just cool typically i have my reasons for not wanting to be with my female friends, i may think they are not trustworthy, or i may think they are crazy, or i may be disgusted by their past, or i may find them unattractive but i still like them as people.. i am cool with them but i don't want them "like that" well this apparently gives women the wrong idea so i have to stop building up a familiarity with women because they are oftentimes developing feelings while i just legit like talking to them, and i'm not developing any feelings now when it comes to the "repent of hurting women" part.. that is because even though i didn't realize this has hurt women in my life- it has and the Lord hasn't been pleased with it i have unknowingly hurt a number of women by being cool with them and being friendly, simply because they are seeing it like we are heading somewhere when we really aren't i genuinely have just enjoyed talking to women like "hey how's your day?" or "what's your opinion on this?" type stuff, but in their world- the fact that i reach out and interact is evidence that we may have something and they are creating scenarios and developing expectancy when that's not where i want to take it so i have to repent of hurting women this way now that u have that background- let me get more into the dream when it comes to the board game... it ended up not being a game at all so that basically means, i have thought it was fun to have conversations with women and enjoy each other's company, but to them it's not a fun game, to them its a very serious thing.. and i almost want to say that to them its as serious as life and death, because that's the situation cassie was in its like that fantasia song where she says "if you don't want me, then don't talk to me" i remember hearing that song a long time ago and thinking it was stupid.. like why do i have to want u to talk to u? but that's apparently how women think men may see women as friends but generally women don't see men as friends.. for women- they are usually holding out hope, or that guy is an ex she keeps around, or she is keeping him on standby, or something ++++++++++ sidenote: this is really something that kinda disgusts me about women because in my mind they have ulterior motives for their actions.. its not genuine when they say things.. like if they say they "have a male friend," or if they say "come help me fix my car," or if they say "i want u to taste my cooking" etc etc.. its like basically whatever they say really means something else it is hurtful to me also because i remember my ex g/f saying she had a "male friend" for like 4 months out of our relationship which explains a lot.. like why she was always acting crazy doing the hot and cold attitude thing, also explains why she came out the blue with bacterial vaginosis, also explains why after a while i just always felt uneasy around her, also explains why she would say things like "u do u and i'll do me" seemingly out of nowhere, oh yeah- and it also explains why she never mentioned this "male friend" ..because if it was really a legit friend then she wouldn't have had an issue mentioning him, but she never did.. i used to always have this image pop up in my head of me hugging her, but her back was turned to me.. so it was like this image where i cared about her and my attention was attuned to her, but her attention and her mind and heart were somewhere else anyway.. i'm not here to rehash any of that- truth is i pretend i never met her now.. but i figured i would share that so that tidbit (maybe it will help any blue pilled guys who read this to snap out of it) ++++++++++ ok back to the dream and the symbolism ok so like i said, what i thought was a fun game, (like being familiar with females, and flirting with them, and being cool with them) really is not a fun game, its more serious than i thought now when it comes to her pain in the dream that symbolized the fact that women can put up with this for a while.. but over time it becomes too much for them they can act buddy buddy with u for a while but over time they will feel the sting of u not "biting" they will feel like you're rejecting them they will feel like you are purposely leading them to believe you will be together and then yanking the rug from under them i can attest to this because there have been times when women have sort of gone off on me for nothing.. i guess to them its something.. but to me its nothing.. because to me if we are friends then that's all it is but to them "friends" is not that.. its something more i remember one time for example, this girl went off on me because i told her i didn't want people thinking she was my girlfriend or one time this other girl ignored me completely for years because i told her another girl didn't want me to visit her when i was in town basically, if women aren't attracted to u on some level or if they don't think there could be something between you two on some level, then they don't want to talk to u AT ALL (which explains why women don't even associate with unattractive men on any level.. u never even see them shooting the breeze with the short, fat, balding janitor.. and when u see their male "friends," they are always potential boyfriends) as men we don't think this way.. like u don't have to be cute or be relationship material to be cool with us.. we will shoot the breeze with u and have fun with u or share a meal with you even if we ultimately find u to be unattractive and/or undesirable but women think this way and this is why ur female friends act diff when u get in a relationship.. a true friend would act the same, but women are seeing it like "dang one of my backups is leaving the stable" or "shoot, maybe i should have tried harder to keep him around" or "why didn't he pick me?" so that explains the "pain" aspect of the dream.. cassie took the pain easily until it became unbearable, and it represents the fact that women will act cool and familiar with u for a while.. but over time it just becomes too much for them to handle.. and just like how cassie wanted us to stop or finish the job- women want us to either leave them alone completely, or direct the relationship toward commitment and/or marriage ok so now let me say a few things about the people in the dream i didn't realize why the Lord used cassie and josh at first because they are not very prominent people in my life today but after i got off the phone with the pastor and i thought about it- i realized why He used those two in particular i believe He used cassie because cassie was a girl i went through a lot of this "friend or more than friend" stuff with she was the one i mentioned who got mad at me when i said i didn't want people thinking she was my girlfriend we used to hang out and joke and go places and we were platonic.. but she wanted more.. come to think of it- she is who i based my song "guilty" on.. and of course i never smashed or anything but it was based on her and how if i was a different type of guy, i would have just used her up completely and left.. being who i am, we just spent time together and enjoyed ourselves platonically- but i guess i was still basically "guilty" because i still hurt her (even though i didn't use her for anything but legit friendship)
the things i'm describing must be why women think men are so "insensitive"
because they think we think the way they think.. and we don't.. sometimes they think we are rejecting them when the truth is we don't have any idea what they are mad about but let me move on to josh i believe the Lord used him in the dream because he has told me on multiple occasions about how he sleeps with different women i remember one day a long time ago i was like hey man why don't u have facebook? because i wanted to keep up with him in a casual way.. but he said he didn't have it because basically he was having relations with multiple women and he didn't want any of them knowing about each other and causing drama that was well over a decade ago and as far as i know he is still out here smashing different women.. he broke up with a longtime g/f last year and not too long afterward, he was telling me about all these other girls he was sleeping with and he hadn't been broken up that long at the time at all so my point in saying all of that is- imo, he represents a lot of other men out there- or maybe i should say.. he represents the guys women are used to dealing with i am me- i am more of just a genuine type of guy.. i am not out here on the prowl trying to use women and keep it moving like nothing happened but most women have a history of being with guys like josh.. i mean based on his body count- i can see why most women think that's all men because guys like him are touching many women and giving them the impression that we are all that way ++++++++++++ sidenote: this confirms what i say about how most women are all smashing the same guys.. which is why women have a higher percentage of having kids than men, and why women have more stds than men on average.. because its just one guy giving 5 women kids.. or 1 guy giving 7 women an std ++++++++++++ so anyway, this is why josh wasn't really negatively affected by the killing of cassie.. because in real life, he doesn't care that he is having sex with so many women with no plans on committing or even calling them back he doesn't care that they gave him their highest level of intimacy, he doesn't value it past the pleasure it brings.. so in the dream he didn't much care about what we did to cassie, i remember in the dream he sort of acted like he understood the gravity of what we did- but i could tell that's kinda all it was- an act so in the end, when i felt really bad about what we did- it showed that i have a conscience and actually do care about women enough to not want to see them in pain, and i don't want to destroy them but i have hurt them with my actions of being close to them without intention of taking things into a "romantic" (for lack of a better word) territory so there u have it.. that is the interpretation of the dream so from here i must keep a distance from women.. i can no longer build a familiarity with them and i also must repent of hurting them one crazy thing that happened is this.. after i had the dream i jotted it down, then went about my day and went to work as usual when i got to work i turned on my computer and my computer has those electronic sticky notes on it, and at the top of my sticky note it said "cassy" so that must've been the last person i was working with the night prior.. it tripped me out so much i took a picture
ok so the last thing i want to say is this
it is very interesting to me that the Lord felt this was important enough to bring to my attention i wouldn't have thought He would speak on something like this, but here are some of my guesses as to why He spoke on this 1. He doesn't want me hurting anyone else 2. He wants me to cut ties with wrong women to make room for the right one 3. repenting of this may bring about a certain freedom, renewal, or breakthrough for me for anyone who got this far, thanks for reading- why not leave a comment and tell me what u think? do u have dreams also? do u seek the interpretation? i think dreams are important, the Bible talks about how sometimes the Lord speaks to us through them
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
|