i think i spoke about this before but i gave up on the church i was going to
the primary reason i gave up on it is because i was told the Lord would open a door for me if i moved to west, tn and when i did- nothing good happened.. it seemed like only bad things were happening so i just gave up.. i haven't given up on God but i'm not dealing with that church because i've put a lot of effort into doing what i thought would work and i haven't gotten anything out of it i have nothing against the church because its not just the church it was also some dreams i had.. but basically its like.. when u do something in hope, and u only get hope deferred, you eventually lose interest my goal is to move back to spring hill before the end of this month.. i already have an apartment and all of that the only thing i think i'll miss from being in memphis is the beautiful women i have never in my life seen this many beautiful black women.. they're everywhere ++++++++++++ i've been going to the gym lately and i've been losing weight.. its nice losing weight.. i'm still fat but i'm a lot better than i was i think i will try to put some effort into my appearance again sometime soon if i can i haven't had a haircut in about 2 months or so and my mustache is growing over my top lip i just haven't cared about how i look since i work from home i think i'm going to try and change this soon.. i plan to keep losing weight, get haircuts, get some new clothes, etc ++++++++++++ like 3 days ago a girl asked me to help her jump her car i did it.. she was really pretty, so when i finished i asked if we could exchange numbers she said it was cool i texted her the next day and she didn't respond so then today another girl came up to me and asked me to help jump her car.. i was like nah, i gotta go i was probably wrong for that.. i mean it was within my ability to help her and i didn't at the same time though, the recent situation was fresh in my mind i couldn't help but just think "women only talk to u when they want something" or "women are only nice when they want something.. and when they get it, they're done with you" and i just wasn't in the mood for it i do acknowledge i was wrong for not helping the second girl.. i'm not going to make an excuse for it.. wrong is wrong.. at the same time it just irks me that women are never there for you in any circumstance unless they want something like the first girl was sweet and talkative, the second girl approached me and called me sweetheart where is any of that just on a day to day? either way like i said, i know i should help whenever i can ++++++++++++ i've been talking on a forum a lot lately its frustrating because sometimes i create interesting topics and no one responds and sometimes i leave a ridiculous comment and everyone responds the things i really want to have discourse about- its like people act like its uninteresting but the things i just say in passing, its like everyone finds it amusing i left one comment for example saying i wanted to use a bbw as a human coffee table and i got a lot of "salutes" but to me that was just a ridiculous comment.. when i post something that i want to be a real discussion its like it just collects dust i really just feel like i need to find a different arena to be in because this current one is not cutting it ++++++++++++ just being 100% honest sometimes all i really want is for someone to call me on their own volition hit me up, ask me how i'm doing, and tell me something about your life ++++++++++++ anyway.. good chattin peeps.. have good day
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enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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