im in class right now.. this class is balls
i have to take notes but i can't even see because there's a woman in the front with an afro the size of a beach ball
the weather is terrible right now.. seriously i'm not even kidding its hot and cold simultaneously.. what kind of ish is that? it don't even make sense but its true
the weather can't make up its mind.. right now its winter wind with summer sun.. u go out and ur sweating and cold at the same time
i was doing a paper past 4am this morning.. the lame thing about doing that paper was i had to watch videos about old people and social security in order to write it.. ish was so boring.. i get it.. being old is gay .. next?
i sometimes get tired of how college is always teaching us bad news..
"society is being ruined"
"the environment is bad and getting worse"
"the government is corrupt"
"when u get old ur penis will be in the shape of a question mark"
if i wanted to hear depressing "facts" and statistics i would watch the news for 30 seconds
i need a woman.
both of these instances of motivation happened today...
1. i was working out a lot and making a LOT of progress then this stupid flu hit me and i feel like i have to play catch up now
seriously i was feeling so good and everything.. i feel like i was at my best health in a long time and then my momentum just stopped immediately
so i was thinking about this today and came to the conclusion.. i am really not even going to say anything.. i'm just hittin it again harder than BALLS
and that is the end of that story which i am calling at the beginning
2. i found a song i REALLY like by some guy from detroit.. so i listened to it like 10 million times then i finally decided to try and find more of his music
i got 3 of his albums which i think is all he has
but here's the problem.. the thing i liked about that particular song was the FLOW.. his flow is amazing it is literally just as good or better than everything.. i would literally put this song up against any other non-conscious hip hop song in history
but NONE OF HIS OTHER SONGS USE THIS FLOW STYLE!!!!!!!!!!!
today i finally got frustrated and said to myself..
IM STEALING HIS FLOW
i mean how r u gonna use a perfect flow ONE time!? i searched all over his catalog for more songs like that one and there were none.. so i'm taking his flow and making it mine
i'll let u guys know when i rock it
earlier i was telling someone in an email about my thoughts on dating and the single life
i want to point some of this out
i think there are 3 main levels to being single, and one hidden level
i am going to point out these levels starting with the worst one and moving up to the best
the first level is "lonely"
lonely^ is a sad place to be.. not fun.. maybe u are missing someone, or maybe u just have no one to talk to or confide in.. lonely is basically a state of 'lack'
single^ is basically just normalcy.. ur not sad or depressed but ur not exactly walking on cloud 9 either.. u r just living a normal and functional lifestyle
(^thats llcool jay in the middle of a bunch of women just in case u can't tell)
bachelor^ status basically means u are not in lack at all concerning attention and affection from the opposite sex.. your cup actually overflows and u are desired.. your phone rings, you get emails.. people think ur ignoring them but ur not.. ur really just too popular and well-liked to really respond to everyone as much as they'd like
u are exuding some sort of mastery or power over the opposite sex.. u are the one in control
the last level in the game is a hidden level.. that level is "gave it to God"
the "gave it to God" level^ is in my opinion the best place to be in
you understand that stages and phases in life serve a purpose so even if you want to be a 'couple'.. you still appreciate all the positive aspects of singlehood
it is no longer your job to find out who to be with or who your future husband/wife will be.. instead it is God's burden to handle.. He is doing the caring, thinking, picking, and choosing FOR you
the Bible says a number of powerful things concerning us such as:
-God thinks about all the positive things He wants to do for us.. He wants to prosper us
-God knows the number of hairs on our head at any given moment
-God knew us before He formed us in the womb
-God won't give us a stone if we ask Him for a fish
in other words, God is looking out for us.. because of this, there is always hope that u will meet the perfect person for you in the "gave it to God" level
now.. the bachelor may have a multitude of the opposite sex to choose from.. but still has limited understanding.. the bachelor can still choose wrong.. or the bachelor may possibly get caught up in chasing a high (sex and/or ego boost) as opposed to seeking a lasting fulfillment (think jersey shore).. God doesn't want people to be 'chasing their own tails' .. He wants us to live with purpose
the "gave it to God" person knows that when God's timing is right.. they will receive that specific person God has for them
here are some of the positives of this level:
--having contentment, purpose, and hope, in singlehood (which will help u to exude confidence and meet someone quicker than the people who are single and bitter)
--not being a heart breaker
--not getting your heart broken
--little to no guess-work
--knowing you don't have to compromise who you are to attract someone because the God of all things is ordering your steps to meet the person for you (and He created you specifically for the time you are in)
--having a clear unmarred vision of the opposite sex- not having your opinion of a person altered by a sexual relationship (i.e. all of your friends see your boyfriend is a loser except for you BECAUSE.. u know why)
i would sum all this up with the word 'FREEDOM'
freedom |ˈfrēdəm| noun
the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint
^not having to impress people.. just be yourself because and trust that God has someone who will like you for you
• absence of subjection
• the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved
• the state of being physically unrestricted and able to move easily
^God handles your love life so it frees you up to live in relative ease, u can be confident even when you have no natural reason to be
• ( freedom from) the state of not being subject to or affected by (a particular undesirable thing)
^girls not having to compromise themselves to try and keep a guy.. guys not having to live in a constant state of false-bravado
• the quality of being independent of fate or necessity.
^no longer NEEDING to be in a relationship, because you know God's will is at work in your life regardless.. BUT even if you just want a relationship u always have hope, faith, and prayer to turn to, because God said it wasn't good for adam to be alone in Genesis.. so He understands and i think He will help u meet someone special..
He may spend some time cleaning u up a bit before you meet that special person.. but keep a patient and positive attitude and things should work out!
note: i am not saying if you move to the "gave it to God" zone that your life will be perfect or flawless.. i am saying you go from looking at people and how you measure up to their standards, to looking at God and how u measure up to His standards, and you seek to impress God as opposed to people and in doing this you also have faith and hope that God will take care of the relationship aspect of your life
public relations test.. u know.. this class has been great.. this has been our only grade so far
i got a 93 and i didn't even read the chapters or anything.. awsumz
i keep tellin people to switch to communications as a major! lets goes!1!
i was listening to a song and this guy said something i found to be very substantial
the song was about a girl said something like "you make me feel like a grown man"
this is something a lot of people don't think about
this is one important factor in having a successful romantic relationship
u have to make the opposite sex feel like they are fulfilling their gender roles
guys: u should make your woman feel like more of a woman
women: u should make your man feel like more of a man
this is actually quite simple but very key and a lot of people miss it
if u can make a guy feel like he is a smart person, or a good leader, or like he is strong and helpful, then he will appreciate that even if he never says it outloud he will internalize it and associate u with "she makes me feel good"
if u can make a girl feel more feminine and more desirable, make her feel loved and cared for then she will appreciate that as well
that guy said "u make me feel like a grown man" .. or in other words.. u make me feel comfortable in my own skin, you make me feel like i'm doing something right.. u make me feel responsible and powerful
i guess the female song version of this would be that old song "natural woman" (u make me feel like a natural woman)
when u treat ur spouse the way they should be treated then things will generally be in order
when u don't then that is disorder
what is an example of disorder?
say a woman tries to emasculate a man.. that is disorder and one of the quickest ways to get dumped.. if u strip a guy of his manhood he will leave because he realizes he feels better about himself without u than with u
if a man beats his girl that is disorder.. a lot of girls like reaffirming touch from males.. or i also hear a lot of women say they hate sleeping alone.. in other words they like the feeling of being safe and secure and comforted when they sleep.. so a man should reaffirm and provide a security blanket through touch, therefore; it is out of order for him to use physical touch as a weapon
its like he is essentially using his hands for the opposite of what they are meant for
kinda like how police are meant to serve and protect but sometimes they harass and beat innocent citizens
this is a reminder to anyone reading
if u are talking to anyone romantically
if u are a girl and u are talking to a guy and u want him to like u more, then build up his manhood and masculinity
if u are a guy and u are talking to a chick then build up her femininity.. make her feel beautiful and desirable
celebrate the differences between genders.. don't fight over them but celebrate them and use them to your advantage
male and female fit perfectly together both physically as well as on many invisible planes, embrace it and the puzzle pieces will fit
i have noticed in life oftentimes the physical realm is a mere representation of the mental, spiritual, and emotional realms.. so say sexual union is the physical manifestation of male/female connection.. let me give an illustration of this that may deepen someone's understanding of the importance of gender differences:
i say love dries up because love is better harbored through ORDER
disorder causes contention.. like today u see a lot of male/female contention.. but say.. 60 yrs ago there was far more harmony between genders.. this is why a lot of our grandparents stayed married while a lot of us today get divorced
one example of disorder is the feminist movement.. the feminist movement was actually orchestrated by the elite to weaken the family unit.. make women feel as if they are being oppressed, (this is why the chivalry of the past is never mentioned.. chivalry says "u don't have to work because i will work FOR you".. feminism says "you are oppressing me and won't ALLOW me to work".. textbooks never mention the chivalrous ways of the past.. today people say chivalry is dead.. I WONDER WHY.. smh) get them out in the workforce to double the amount of taxes being paid out.. because at the time the feminist movement began.. most households were one income..
now with the women out working and competing with men there is now some level of contention in the household as gender roles are challenged but more importantly to the 'elite' is the fact that with mom and dad now out working, school is then made into a necessity as there is no one to watch or teach children, so then all kids have to go to school and learn atheist based lessons..
thus the evil elite.. the luciferians who have boatloads of money.. the same ones who run the media and control the news and the same ones who conspire to create a one-world government and kill Christianity have a foothold on your children's minds
because they are the ones who bought out the textbook companies
wow.. so i just said a lot
some of u may not believe me.. do the research.. look up margaret sanger and see who she worked for and why
these conspiracies are real.. u fight them whenever u live a righteous and orderly lifestyle
again: YOU FIGHT THEM WHEN YOU LIVE A RIGHTEOUS AND ORDERLY LIFESTYLE.. and you can start by respecting, honoring, and validating the opposite sex
everything shouldn't be questioned
u can question some things, but some things are just common sense
like if u asked me if males and females are different, i'd say yes
one problem w/ sociology is they will likely say no to a question like that.. and then they will try to make u look crazy for saying yes to the question
"oh so u think women are natural caregivers? why is that? because u want to oppress women and make them babysit when they really want a career instead?"
i'm like NO U STUPID F*CK.. then i have to explain something that is clear as day
i really feel like it is beneath me
why the fck should i ever have to explain why being gay is wrong when it is (or at least should be) common sense
that would be like me being forced to explain why incest is wrong.. the fact is u should naturally know something this basic
the fact is sociology is like so gnostic it is ridiculous.. and it doesn't HAVE to be gnostic but more often than not, it just plain is
they question anything that just makes sense on a moral or 'sensibility' level
but here's the thing.. they question themselves to death.. they have 1,000 questions and no answers
like there's even a more extreme group of sociologists who question to a point of absolute absurdity to the point where they question whether or not any of us even really exist
now does that kind of thought process sound like some sh*t u want to commit your life and career to?
and people wonder what my gripes are with "higher learning"
because i am exposed to such rampant stupidity
them: "ok james mr. smarty-pants.. how do any of us know we really even exist?"
me: are u really serious right now?
do they really expect me to still respect their "knowledge" when they come up with dumb stuff like that?
in your quest for knowledge u have become a damn fool
READ A BIBLE YOU, BABBLING ATHEIST MORONS!!!!!!!
u sound like ur saying everything is right but the truth!
YOU ARE DUMB AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT!
i was thinking recently about some of the things we used to say in the early 90s when i was in a more inner city school.. these are all really mostly just black people saying this stuff.. some of this is EXCLUSIVELY black people
these days i'm always around diff people from diff regions so its diff now, but back in the early 90s everything was more cultural.. like back then there was no internet so people were less connected as a whole world, but more connected as in their community..
people had family and friends and cliques and lingo and genres of music.. today everything is way more blended.. like for example in the early 90s it was like black people liked rap and white people liked rock.. but today everybody likes everything..
so when i think back to the early 90s i am remembering all the cultural things that existed then that don't really seem to exist much today because culture has dwindled in favor of some sort of assimilation among everyone.. which is ok in a sense but u lose a lot of the cool differences and weird aspects we have in culture too
here are a few of the things we used to say to each other on a regular basis (in no particular order)
by "we" i mean like black youth in the midwestern region (michigan, ohio areas)
1. "african booty-scratcher" .. we used to call each other an african booty scratcher for some reason lol i don't know why but we used to say that ish all the time
2. "maybe that's your upper lip" .. as in "what's that smell?" and someone chimes in.. "maybe that's your upper lip" which meant.. your breath stinks.. i don't know why.. but this insult got used a lot and it always had a certain sting to it.. like if someone said "ur breath stinks" that was like a 5 or 6 on the insult scale.. but if someone said "maybe thats your upper lip" then that was always like a 9 or 10
3. "indian giver" .. that was like if i give u something and then 5 minutes later i want it back.. then ur an indian giver.. i don't think this was "urban" or even "youthful" but we used to say it either way
4. "moosey" .. this was a little more later 90s.. i kinda think this is only around the michigan region.. moosey kinda seemed to come out of nowhere but it kinda instantly became a common word among us in the youth or urban circles.. moosey meant like.. like a lighthearted version of stupid.. or semi shameful.. like if u slip on some ice outside and everyone saw u then u were lookin moosey.. or if you were the only person in class to get an F and everyone got an A then you felt "moosey den a mug"
5. "den a mug" .. this was like a clean version of m.f. .. like if u lost a video game u'd say "i just got beat like a mug" lol.. i kinda think people still say this from time to time but back then it was like second nature
6. "the back of your neck" .. this wasn't really a specific insult.. it was more like a common comparison.. the back of peoples necks were talked about a lot.. "its black like the back of yo' neck" or "i should slap the black off the back of yo' neck" .. the back of peoples' necks used to be talked about or compared to black things lol
7. "on crack" .. this was real common back then.. it always got a good laugh for some reason.. "don't he look like will smith?" .. and someone chimes in.. "yeah.. will smith ON CRACK! LOLOLOL!!!!!" <--the laughter ensues .. people still say this today but it had a much bigger emphasis back then.. i think because society was coming off the 80s where crack was a serious thing
8. "blackie" .. or anything talking about a person being real black.. "u r so black that ur blue-black" or "he ain't even black anymore! he's a silhouette!" LOL .. some people actually internalized this a bit and felt like they were being hated on by lighter skinned black people.. i don't think that's the case.. black is black.. its not an insult as much as it is a joke.. like for example a light skinned black person would be called "high yellow" ... "sit yo' high yellow behind down somewhere" LOL thats not a real diss, its just a funny way of saying sit down
9. "nappy" or "naps" .. this is when ur hair curls up into little mini balls that are hard to comb through.. u have 'naps' in your hair or ur hair is nappy.. back in the early 90s when "capping" was huge (capping is dissing people).. we used to cap on people for their naps.. there was a restaurant in michigan called bill knapps.. so we might even say somethin corny like "u got more naps than bill knapps!" <---lol + smh
if i think of anymore i'll add them later
i kinda miss these days by the way!
its a good thing i can catch up with them with old episodes of "a different world" or "martin" or any shows with that youthful or urban approach from that time period!!!
but whatever peaCe
posting temporarily for anyone who may not understand how/why masonry is false and demonic
the thing about a good song is that when u put it on at the right time, everything seems perfect for that 3 minute span
i haven't gotten this feeling as much lately
i think back over the years
when i was depressed in 05 i listened to tricky and even in my depressed state i felt so good when i would put his music on
i remember in 04 when i was so much into the streets album "a grand don't come for free" ..i felt like that album was one of the greatest things ever .. i listened to that thing like crazy
i remember listening to charles hamilton starting at the end of 08 for two years straight almost completely exclusively.. i know that sounds like a long time but he did like 50 albums literally and i pretty much liked all of them
one thing i've noticed though is you can't ever really go back and get into something the way u used to
it has a time period and then its over.. u have to find your new thing u identify with
its interesting to look back and see ur fave music.. but not just your fave music- also all the reasons WHY it was ur favorite
and see that's the hidden factor in music.. time period.. like all the planets lining up to make u enjoy a song to the fullest extent
for example u may have a person at this point in their life:
1. just got out of a long relationship
2. emotionally/mentally ok but still sad inside
or how about this person:
1. in a major personal growth period
2. becoming more extroverted everyday
3. very desirable and flirtatious with the opposite sex
4. feeling secure
these people will likely be into different music because they are in diff places in their life.. that's one "magical" aspect of music.. its not only a reflection of yourself, but also a reflection of where u currently are.. your temperament, what u value, what u have seen, what u want to see, etc
u don't know if you found it, or if it found u, but either way.. when u turn up the volume on the song, u feel like ur turning up the volume on your life
so how about u.. are u in a place where u are truly FEELING whatever music u like?
why is that?
or are u in a place where nothing seems to speak for you?
are u in a transition period in your life?
a lot of my best times in life seem to be when i really identify with music, not just on a sound level but on every invisible plane involved
right now i am not experiencing this.. i guess u could say i feel like a lot of music is dumb content-wise to a point where i can't take it seriously
but i hope i can find something to identify with again
hopefully it will be myself one day.. i just need to make a perfect album!