overall what i'm saying is.. i'm not mad at u women for having flaws, i'm mad at you for not recognizing them- and therefore not ever working on them
a sober view is required at times (btw.. this only applies to who it applies to.. this video does not describe all women, some women are incredibly impressive in nearly every way)
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I had an odd dream last night
I was on a vacation with a lot of people I knew One of the main things we were there to do was see a big movie… it was like a new star wars or lord of the rings.. meaning it was a big event type of movie We were in like a huge nice hotel The people who were on the vacation with me were family, friends, friends of friends, and more So while I was there I wasn’t being really social just because I’m more introverted than a lot of people understand, but one of the girls who had known me for a long time (I think she might’ve been one of my sister’s friends) took offense to this After we had been on the vacation for a few days she came up to me when no one was around and she confronted me like “how come whenever I come in you walk away? I thought we were better than that.. why don’t you ever really sit and talk with anyone? Why don’t you play with my nephew the way you used to? We’re friends and we go way back but you’re acting like a stranger!” Somewhere in the midst of her confronting me, I made her angry to a point where she was following me around wanting to hit me. I think what made her angry was my answers for my actions were smart-ass, but I was only smart-ass because I didn’t want to tell the truth which was “I’m shy, reserved, not really used to this many people, I seem fairly well-adjusted to people and life but looks can be deceiving, etc.” So then as she pressed harder and harder I just tried to avoid her questions and then I started to say things like, ok I’ll do better, I’ll try, I’ll try not to avoid people for the rest of the vacation. I started to just cave in because i knew she was right, I was just being unfriendly so I needed to just suck it up and engage with everyone more. She was still mad so in the midst of this she had knocked me down (remember i was walking backwards so I might've just tripped) and I had brought her down with me like “if I fall ur fallin too” type of thing because she was basically walking after me the whole time.. so then she was on top of me and as we were there on the ground it was like understood that we were seeing eye to eye it was like understood that she was going to stop pushing me to be more social and i was going to try harder to be social, even though this was sort of understood, i THOUGHT we were both still kinda pissed at each other but she kissed me Once she did this I realized the whole reason she was so disappointed in me for not talking much during the vacation was because she liked me and was hoping to get to know me better but I didn’t engage with her so she was looking at it like it was her last chance.. she had to confront me or the vacation would end and I wouldn’t see her for a long time So we kissed for a while and I was just like wow.. what occurred to me was a thought like “wow, I never thought her and I would have anything, I never thought of her in that way before but come to think of it, she’s not bad” and so I started to think wow, I think its pretty official that this is my new girlfriend and a new direction for my life. Then I woke up so...
last night i took sleeping pills the sleep i got was great but here i am now wide awake, and i realize my issue wasn't physical at all... my soul is tired you know how they give you those surveys in a class toward the end?
well after i filled in all the little bubbles, there was a box that asked my opinion on the class i WENT IN here's what i wrote: This class is terrible. I blame the curriculum because I recognize it as being impractical. I view the teacher as being very disorganized. To explain why I believe the curriculum is flawed I have to bring attention to the fact that this is an online class. We learned in communication in organizations (comm 4020) that there are certain mediums that are conducive to certain types of communication and some that aren’t. For example, breaking up with someone via text message is seen as an inadequate form of communication for that particular message. Herein lies the main problem with this class being available online. I’m sure the whole “group campaign” aspect of the class is written into the curriculum itself. The issue however is, with the class being online, the form of communication is inadequate for the actual correspondence needed. Having to do this class project (which is 50% of my grade) with people I’ve never met before, via the Internet- unnecessarily adds frustration to an already long, arduous, taxing, and drawn-out project. When I was a kid I once did a carnival game. The guy at the carnival said “If you can make a basket, I’ll give you this prize.” I agreed and then when he passed me the ball, he said “…but you have to throw the ball over this bar.” Once he added that second part after taking my $5, I realized I had been tricked and my endeavor was going to be a lot harder than it would’ve been under normal circumstances. That is what this class is like. I have no qualms with working hard and concentrating and figuring things out and creating a high quality piece of work. However this class handicaps each and every student with the particular way in which it is setup. When you get on your class website and you see that you have 25 messages that you essentially have to read, process, and react to- things become extremely overwhelming very quickly. To get back to my scholastic explanation I will say this, (paraphrased from the comm 4020- communications in organizations textbook): “Any content with potential for being misunderstood is ambiguous and therefore should be expressed face to face. All unambiguous content can be expressed via CMC.” (cmc is computer mediated communication) Wouldn’t a shared 2 to 3 month long group project count as something that can become ambiguous at times? Again, the project is 50% of my grade in the class and 20% of that grade will be determined by peer assessment. Corresponding via the Internet for such an endeavor is very frustrating. This class has made all of the students into victims. We are victims of using the wrong communication medium for the content we wish to express to one another. Computers only have “data-carrying-capacity” and it is difficult to extract all meaning from the written word because of the lack of symbolic value (which face-to-face communication does have). I came up with a clear example to show how easily CMC (computer mediated communication) can break down or be inadequate. “I don’t want to see you, go away.” “I don’t want to see you go away.” The only difference between the two sentences is a comma however they have completely opposite meanings. When it comes to the teacher, I believe she is disorganized. The reason I believe this is because the class is very hard to follow. I feel like she puts very little effort into making things clear. Oftentimes I felt like I had to untie knots upon other knots just to figure out the next step within a process. I found myself spending a lot of time trying to figure out what to do as opposed to actually doing anything. In this professor’s class you say to yourself “ok, I’m going to start on step one.” Once you say that to yourself you try to reach step one but the instructions are like “before you do step one remember to…” “after that then read…” “there are 10 steps to step 1..” “the research for step 3 of step 1 can be found at..” “primary and secondary research are vital to the first bullet point of…” I challenge anyone reading this to read the class campaign packet that was handed out and try to really understand where to start. I also challenge you to think about the dynamic of having this confusing process made into an outright absurdity when the requirement of working with 5 to 8 complete strangers over the Internet comes into play. This has been one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had in a class, and that’s saying a lot. Mainly I feel that the professor here should take some time to rewrite things. Try to create a clear and segmented process for students to follow. Taking this class is like one long stressful inhale with no exhale. There are no real starting or stopping points for anything. For example, I noticed this semester that this was the only class that was structured in a way to have students doing 3 or 4 things at one time. The main thing that needs to happen is, the group project should be shortened or should be done only when everything else is done. The reason I say this is because in this class- I might be working on one thing, but it seems like another thing is falling by the wayside because there isn’t enough segmentation. For example, if I spend a few days working on a book report, and my emails for the group project stack up during that time, then I will be seen as being irresponsible by my group who essentially holds the key to 10% of my overall grade. If there were clear guidelines for “start and stop” then this wouldn’t be such an issue. Here are a few more specific examples of where the teacher could improve to give an idea of what I mean. 1 There is a lot of information given on the course content page, but some of the information she gave us was via email. I once lost a document that was given to us and I looked for it on the course home and course content page for a long time until I realized it was in my email. Why isn’t all course content available on the course content page? 2 At the beginning of the semester I tried to get all of the information from the course content page so that I could access it offline. In all my other classes I was able to do it fairly quickly. In this class I ended up creating folders on top of folders to try and keep up with everything. Not only was it just set up in a weird way, but also I found myself downloading power points with one slide each. There are like 50 power points in this class and they are one slide each. Why? Why not just add all the slides for each module into one 10-page power point document? Why did I have to individually download so many one-page slides? After a while I got so tired of downloading one-page documents I just gave up and decided not to read them. 3 If you take a look at the ‘database searching pdf,’ the first page says this. To reach LexisNexis “start from the U of M database search page.” Why? What does U of M have to do with APSU? I figured out what to do eventually, but why not give us the proper link? It’s not a big deal but it’s an example of how this class can be unnecessarily confusing at times. On a personal level, I also feel like the group campaign should be worth less than 50% of our grade. The weight given to that assignment is just completely impractical for every reason. Also, the book report should be worth more. Not only do students have to buy a book, they also have to commit to sitting and reading it, which is a significant investment of time. Then after reading it we have to report on it in a very specific way given the instructions. Overall, “scattered” is how I would describe this professor’s class. It just needs serious refinement. If I could’ve afforded to drop this class, I would have. Another thing I had an issue with was the subjective nature of the class. For example, I don’t understand how the professor can say one of my responses is “not detailed enough” when there is no specified length for the given response. If a question requires a two or three page answer, why not specify that within the instructions? Whoever reads this, please don’t take offense, these are my genuine feelings on the class. I am not here to hurt anyone I was just very frustrated by the way this class was set up. It wasn’t so much the work as much as it was the setup and structure. The dynamics at play are what made this class such a displeasure to me. i wrote this to the teacher 3 days ago:
Professor Keller, I have a few questions about correlative data if you don't mind me asking. Is the speech and other correlative data actually going on the campaign? I know we turn it in individually, and I know its under strategies and tactics under step 4 on the campaign packet, and I also got the guidelines for speeches under module 6. However I didn't see a speech in any of the three campaign examples so I'm not sure if it's actually going onto our campaign or not. I think what I'm also confused about is like, who exactly is this person talking in the speech? Is it a representative, or is it a spokesperson? Or does it matter? Is it just whoever I, or we as a group think it should be? How long should it be? The writing tips seemed to leave it very open ended. Is that how I should approach it? Thanks again for your time. i got this response today: The speech is an actual part of your plan. It is a tactic that supports a specific strategy that is designed for a specific public. This public has specific goals and objectives, which are tied back to the research. You choose the speaker. You choose the group he or she is speaking to - one of your key publics. You write the content and develop the visuals - from your research and goals and objectives. I have copied the speech instructions below for your reference: (there was nothing there) this is what people don't get about why i'm always pissed off about school MY grade is on the line.. I am the one being scrutinized about everything, but no one ever seems to look at the teachers and the stupid things they do, and how they are vague and how they aren't helpful and they omit things that should be there let me explain why her response was inadequate: 1. WHY DID IT TAKE HER 3 DAYS TO RESPOND!? isn't teaching this class your job? this wasn't even the weekend, like i don't get it, why would you not be doing at least SOMETHING related to your job monday through friday? if it took you 3 days to respond to a simple email, that tells me you really don't pay any attention to your job at all 2. i asked "Is the speech and other correlative data actually going on the campaign?" it was a yes or no question.. i didn't get an answer i got "The speech is an actual part of your plan." yeah i kinda knew that.. but DOES IT ACTUALLY GO ON THE CAMPAIGN what is so hard about answering a yes or no question? if i ask you about a campaign, why do you start talking about a "plan" wtf are you talking about? are you an idiot? guess what? I HAVE TO EITHER ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION AGAIN OR JUST WING IT all because you are too dense to type a two or three letter word 3. " I have copied the speech instructions below for your reference:" THERE WAS NOTHING THERE THERE WAS NOTHING BELOW AND THERE WAS NO ATTACHMENT also, within my message i made sure to state the things i've already seen which were "step 4 on the campaign packet" and "guidelines for speeches in module 6" i specifically said that so that she wouldn't refer me back to something i've already seen like a complete idiot.. well she somehow did the only thing worse than that- she gave me nothing at all and btw.. i still don't know how long the speech should be.. what makes me so angry is this class stands between me and graduation.. this project is 50% of my grade and this is the kind of "help" i receive! WHY DO YOU EXIST? HOW DO YOU HAVE A JOB!? YOU DONT DESERVE TO HAVE A JOB!!! i've had nothing but problems in this class, i don't understand why this teacher is so awful.. like why is she allowed to get paid to be incompetent? ok so i'm currently in the library at mtsu..
i decided while i'm here i want to talk about what men r looking for and/or at when they are looking at women here is a list and its in no particular order: does she have kids.. i don't think guys want girls with kids because we are territorial.. we don't want another man and/or another man's seed in our house like that.. women don't like to hear this but its just real.. not saying women with kids won't find good men, its just that women with kids are not likely to be a man's first choice.. i say don't have sex until you're married because if you have a child outside of marriage and u end up a single mom then your chances of finding a guy are probably slimmer than they would have been if you had no kids is she a good girl or a hoe.. this is somewhat subjective depending on the guy you are dealing with but the fact is regardless of his particular definitions of each- nearly every guy is thinking along these lines when he meets a girl.. the best thing u can do as a girl is to watch what you say.. even if you ARE a hoe, don't be proud of that.. that is not something to be proud of.. don't partake in all that same talk your female friends partake in.. don't talk about how you want such and such celebrity to do such and such to you because we men hear it or someone will tell us and we form opinions about you based on these things.. for example: i hear a lot of women say "the only guys who approach me are the ones who only want sex" .. THIS IS WHY because you put yourself out there like you're a toy instead of a lady.. a lady would not be saying vulgar things in public.. if ur a woman reading this, and you want to surpass your friends in the quality of male you attract, be a lady.. when ur friends are doing things that make them look silly, continue to be a lady.. why would a guy want to marry (as TLC calls them) a silly hoe? if you go on your lunch break and you start talking about the sex you had last night then you will be attracting the men who are strictly horny and pushing away the men who are looking for a wife.. women do this ALL THE TIME.. trust me, if you act ladylike, men will notice that.. and u will likely get less attention, but the QUALITY of the attention you get will be far better than before.. instead of finding yourself asking "why does every guy who talks to me have gold teeth?" you will say "i have a dinner date at ruth chris this friday" ..understand that chivalry is only dead for CERTAIN WOMEN.. don't let that be you.. to sum up this whole part.. be respectable.. just like how women don't respect unemployed, unambitious men- men don't respect hoe-ish women moving on. men are also looking at your body.. a healthy build is really all that matters.. if you are TOO fat or TOO skinny men will hold it against you or overlook you.. if you are anywhere within a decent middle ground, men will most likely be happy let me go into a little further detail here.. if you are too skinny a lot of men won't be attracted to you in the first place and/or they may think you have an eating disorder.. no guy wants to be with someone who they think has an eating disorder because they know it'll eventually be a headache if you are too fat or very close to being too fat, many men will say to themselves "i can't bring her around my friends they'll laugh at me" or "i don't want to commit because i have no guarantee that she won't get bigger" personality.. men want a woman who can cheer them up, brighten their life, be a bright spot, add to his life, make him look good, be cute and nice.. if you have an attitude, or if you like to be disagreeable, or you like to argue in public.. no guy will put up with you.. how can you change if you have a bad attitude? think positive, think about funny things, think about God's goodness and how some people don't have food or housing but you do.. try to put your negative past behind you.. give people compliments, and agree with people as much as possible.. these things will make you look awsum to men these^ are what i have for right now.. if i come up with more later i'll share, but honestly this legit sums up a lot of- if not all of what men are looking for it seems easy doesn't it? but think about the women around you.. do they have an attitude? too much emotional baggage? are they not physically presentable? i.e. too fat? are they hoe-ish? do they already have kids? if you really think about it- i don't want to say most women fall into one of these categories buuuuut.... so if you're a female reading this, try to use this as somewhat of a checklist.. good men are looking at these sorts of things in your life.. they aren't looking at how many degrees you have or how you are the head of your company or how you are a jet-setter who has eaten at fine restaurants like i said before, men's criteria for judging women is entirely different than women's criteria for judging men i just want to speak on this quickly because i want to get my point out and drive it home with no fluff.. i've touched on it before but i want to touch on it again
the MAIN problem i see when i look at and/or for women is this: women project what they want instead of projecting what men want one of the main ways this happens is when women project assertiveness to a man, we view a lot of that as women being unapproachable, too serious, condescending, and overly calculated, in other words.. not fun for us in the least bit, and so we quietly walk past these women i see this time and time again here is my advice to any woman who may be reading this be genuine.. don't believe all the media hype about how women need to be strong, independent, educated, assertive, shouldn't cry, etc etc etc men do not seek for women to exude these things!!! you are not made valuable to us because you have worked your way to the top of your company or because you have 5 degrees, or because you love to debate.. you are not going to prove to us men that we should love you once we realize you are 'better' than us at everything.. like "oh wow you're better than me at everything, will you marry me?" LOL we compete with other MEN... WE DONT WANT TO COMPETE WITH WOMEN AT ALL. ALSO, WE ARE LOOKING AT A WHOLE DIFF SET OF CRITERIA THAN THAT STUFF WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN (which i may detail in a future blog) and speaking of the whole "don't cry in front of a man" thing.. i've heard SO many women say "i will never let a man see me cry" you have been brainwashed by all those deodorant commercials that show strong, unaffected women flexing muscles in the camera.. you've been brainwashed by all those 'feminism-put-to-a-beat' beyonce songs MEN LOVE SEEING WOMEN SHOW EMOTION.. it is one of the main ways we gauge where you are.. if you bitterly "refuse to show emotions to a man" .. what u don't get is, the man in your life oftentimes will interpret that as "she just doesn't care" NO MAN WANTS A STOIC WOMAN.. ITS NOT NATURALLY ATTRACTIVE TO US WE LOVE WOMEN WHO SHOW EMOTION BECAUSE IT IS GOOD FOR PROCREATION; A WOMAN WHO CARES IS MORE LIKELY TO PROTECT AND CARE FOR OUR OFFSPRING THAN ONE WHO IS STOIC what i am saying is completely opposite of anything you will see on television but men want women to be feminine, we want women, we men have facial hair, we have rough skin, we don't want women to be what we are.. we don't want women with masculine traits.. WE DONT FIND IT ATTRACTIVE this is the MAIN thing going on today.. women think men want a strong, independent, non emotional, assertive, successful, educated, ceo type of woman we don't.. we want the girl who wears pink and laughs at our corny ass jokes WOMEN: STOP PROJECTING WHAT YOU WANT.. women think that because they want their men to be strong, assertive, ambitious, independent, and rough around the edges that men must be seeking those same traits in women WE AREN'T!!! trust me, if any woman reads this and soaks it in, she will be head and shoulders above 80% of women today don't get me wrong, a lot of women naturally know what men want, but the media is definitely singing a different tune these days and it is brainwashing a lot of women.. so don't believe the lies i don't know how i find this stuff
what i have here is a link to an article about why many women believe there are no good men http://voices.yahoo.com/is-shortage-good-men-fault-women-7042546.html ^copy and paste into browser its not bashing women or making men seem perfect, its a legit look at some misconceptions we have in modern day american society because of hollywood "programming" i was very impressed by this guy's analysis its a good read, check it out some of you know i love talk radio, i've gotten into it more and more for the past 2 or 3 years
i decided i wanted to share one of my favorite talk radio shows with you tonight http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dedantolbert dedan tolbert has got some great material on his show and so if you ever get bored, have a long homework assignment, or need something to listen to while you clean- definitely check out this show (sidenote: i typed this whole entry a few minutes ago and it deleted itself so don't let my typing here be in vain!) i could rave about how great this show is, buuuut take my word for it or don't.. sharing is caring! hollaz |
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chillen in mushroom hill zone Archives
December 2013
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