I had an odd dream last night
I was on a vacation with a lot of people I knew One of the main things we were there to do was see a big movie… it was like a new star wars or lord of the rings.. meaning it was a big event type of movie We were in like a huge nice hotel The people who were on the vacation with me were family, friends, friends of friends, and more So while I was there I wasn’t being really social just because I’m more introverted than a lot of people understand, but one of the girls who had known me for a long time (I think she might’ve been one of my sister’s friends) took offense to this After we had been on the vacation for a few days she came up to me when no one was around and she confronted me like “how come whenever I come in you walk away? I thought we were better than that.. why don’t you ever really sit and talk with anyone? Why don’t you play with my nephew the way you used to? We’re friends and we go way back but you’re acting like a stranger!” Somewhere in the midst of her confronting me, I made her angry to a point where she was following me around wanting to hit me. I think what made her angry was my answers for my actions were smart-ass, but I was only smart-ass because I didn’t want to tell the truth which was “I’m shy, reserved, not really used to this many people, I seem fairly well-adjusted to people and life but looks can be deceiving, etc.” So then as she pressed harder and harder I just tried to avoid her questions and then I started to say things like, ok I’ll do better, I’ll try, I’ll try not to avoid people for the rest of the vacation. I started to just cave in because i knew she was right, I was just being unfriendly so I needed to just suck it up and engage with everyone more. She was still mad so in the midst of this she had knocked me down (remember i was walking backwards so I might've just tripped) and I had brought her down with me like “if I fall ur fallin too” type of thing because she was basically walking after me the whole time.. so then she was on top of me and as we were there on the ground it was like understood that we were seeing eye to eye it was like understood that she was going to stop pushing me to be more social and i was going to try harder to be social, even though this was sort of understood, i THOUGHT we were both still kinda pissed at each other but she kissed me Once she did this I realized the whole reason she was so disappointed in me for not talking much during the vacation was because she liked me and was hoping to get to know me better but I didn’t engage with her so she was looking at it like it was her last chance.. she had to confront me or the vacation would end and I wouldn’t see her for a long time So we kissed for a while and I was just like wow.. what occurred to me was a thought like “wow, I never thought her and I would have anything, I never thought of her in that way before but come to think of it, she’s not bad” and so I started to think wow, I think its pretty official that this is my new girlfriend and a new direction for my life. Then I woke up
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chillen in mushroom hill zone Archives
December 2013
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