someone sent me a flyer for the black journalism thing and i was surprised to see i was on it lol
they took this picture i think back in november 2012
i'm sure u guys see me.. i was swaggin on the haytaz brah
this imo is not meant to point a finger at the rich, its meant to point a finger at the viewer i.e. you and i
watch your behavior with a sober judgement
first of all.. if you plan on playing ni no kuni, don't read this because i'm going to talk about the ending
ok now during the entire game you (oliver) go out on a quest to try and save your mother from dying
as you get almost to the end you realize you can't save her, she's just going to die regardless
then you feel very bad until a few other things occur and you come to the conclusion that you'll just do the best you can with what you have left
oliver decides he will carry on without his mom and just live with strength
this was very hard for me to take at first
the whole time i thought oliver would save his mom but it turns out instead he just learns a lesson
the lesson he learned was that life is imperfect but you have to just deal with the ups and downs and be your best self at every moment.. leave the past in the past and walk with strength through everything
this was pretty much mind boggling to me.. it seemed so empty.. it seriously took a week to sink in.. but i thought about it later and i realized that bittersweet ending was perfect
you're going to go through life and have regrets, or pains, or people will leave you
but its up to you still to just work with what you have
you can't put all your eggs in one thing "i'll be happy if this happens" or "i'll enjoy life when this happens"
you just have to cast all that away and live today
when i say "live" i don't mean go out and skydive or act crazy, i mean just be strong, thankful, content, and your best self.. TODAY
the villains in the game were all mere good people who let the hardships of life take root in their hearts
they clung to the disappointments, the bitterness, the pain, and the sorrow.. and it turned them into evil people.. it made them forget who they really wanted to be
oliver, the main character went through the same pain with the loss of his mom, but instead of letting it change him, he had faith and was just grateful.. he said "mom you gave me the greatest gift of all.. life" and he said he was going to move on with his life.. and not only did he move on.. he moved on with gusto
this whole ending really made me sit and think
it was pretty profound and i think it went over a lot of peoples heads
but seriously.. i don't know if anything could've been more appropriate
even now i'm still letting this ending marinate
i feel like it represents a large segment of wisdom i have never grasped and i'm just now being introduced to it.. i know its just a change of perspective, but its a complete game-changer for someone like me
what's up peeps
i don't know what i'm going to say at all right now but lets see what happens.
i've been really tired of everyone lately.. i really want to go all out and blaze everyone but i feel like i should try to muzzle my sentiments a bit.. so instead i will just say that most people i have in my life have been irritating me
are they irritating me or am i irritable? are they making me upset or do i just hate everyone because i hate myself?
and there's another issue i've been dealing with
this whole self hatred thing.. i look at myself and feel like i don't measure up to even my own standards
the main thing that has been bothering me as of late is my lack of any skill with women.. i just cannot get a girl for anything
i went out with a girl the other night.. she was way fatter in person than she was on her pictures and even she turned me down! .. she said something about how she could tell i didn't have any tattoos without even asking me.. i deduced that she didn't like that
i sometimes just feel like i can't catch a break when it comes to women.. i mean wow i just feel like a failure.. this causes me to dislike myself sometimes.. not from a superficial standpoint, but from my heart.. like i'll be standing on an elevator and i'll think "wow man i hate myself" .. its just a thought that comes, and subconsciously i know i want to prove it wrong.. but i can't
if the thought comes and says "you're a loser because no girl will ever want you" what the f*ck am i going to say back to the thought? "you're wrong" ????
i have nothing lined up.. no girls, nothing..
some girls have been interested in me but man.. the last girl that liked me had four kids.. and was also divorced twice.. my point in telling you that was to point out that generally the girls who like me aren't the women you want to really be with
i DO appreciate that women with kids like me though.. i appreciate it because it kinda tells me that i give off a more husband-y type vibe
anyway.. please wish me luck on getting a woman in my life.. scratch that.. PRAY that i get a woman.. scratch that.. FAST AND PRAY
anyway.. u guys take it easy hopefully i'll be back on here saying more soon
people ask what’s problematic
always feel like i can’t stop my habits
life seems fake like its all a pageant
voices in my head i can’t stop the racket
and that’s why i’m not sleepin well
but don’t spotlight me and my need for help
honestly, i don’t even wanna see myself
let me stay inside, i won’t leave my shell
i feel pain or i’m numb, i’m stuck in a daze
try to make progress- i’m runnin in place
so why wake up when it’s just a big waste?
and daylight feels like a punch in the face
reach for success, to live high on the top
whether i like it or not, when i try its a flop
they think i’m alright but i’m not.
and people don’t understand so i’m writin a lot.
I haven’t been talking much because I haven’t been able to
I’m in one of those periods where its like “who am I” ?
Who am I includes
What should I be striving for, what will make me happy, who do I want to be around
Its gotten so bad that I really don’t even know what music I like anymore
Its like my brain is just empty waiting to be rebuilt or something
If complete surety in life is at “10” .. I’m at “0”