i realized what i saw during thanksgiving was a matriarchy at work
i want to talk about this so that will be coming soon i think this upcoming entry will be really eye opening so remember to come back and read it and see what u think of it sidenote: what do u peeps think of people who don't celebrate thanksgiving? i think i ran into some people who don't celebrate it and i thought it was odd because my understanding of thanksgiving is that its just eating and giving thanks for what u have.. i've never seen it as a negative holiday.. what do u think? is it legit or unlegit?
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this is another must see video it speaks volumes "life isn't fair"
is this video about short men? or is it universal? this is a must see video.. its interesting how it echoes a lot of the things i say except it probably doesn't sound as offensive as when i say it lol btw, it uses a song i posted here on the site a few yrs ago.. a song from a video game called nights: journey of dreams.. i didn't expect to hear that song used here.. but its a good song so if anyone wants to listen here's a link to it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZXs-uCLhB8&index=55&list=PL9AACB2652B78596A i want to do a recap of some of the women i liked this year
i really liked this girl named alicia at my job but she had a few things in her life i didn't like so it was weird.. i was wondering if i should overlook them or not.. but the main issue i had was i didn't feel like she had any interest in me based on some of her conduct.. i was confused because i know women these days try to act hard, so u never know if that's a front or if that's really them.. if its a front- i am willing to stick around until the wall comes down.. if its reality then i'm not interested.... i have asked a few women their opinion on some of her conduct but their opinions a lot of times are rooted in their own loneliness.. they always think i should keep trying and pursuing but i'm like "look, if she can't show me any kind of interest then forget it cuz i'm tired of being the only person trying" ... madd women don't understand that....... they just think men are punching bags who never get tired of being ignored... that's just not true.. i actually still like alicia but i have not gotten any type of "yes" to anything i've invited her to do.. granted she doesn't say no but i want a "that sounds good" or "ok call me" or "i'm free during...." just not saying no isn't enough.. i don't get why women seem to want men to come to their house and grab them by their arm.. i mean if that's what it takes then fine but if i do then don't say i'm coming on too strong.. i just would like some flirting coming back my way because that helps me know i am not wasting my time on a woman who doesn't like me.... i know women will go out with a guy they don't like because women like attention and food.. i have taken women places only to have them A. ignore me or B. tell me they don't want to see me anymore.. so sue me but i want a woman to show some type of interest through flirting back with me, or saying yes to a date, or ANSWERING WHEN I CALL smh... as soon as i stop trying then women say "james don't give up yet, get back in there" but i'm like "dude if she don't like me then she don't like me" i liked a girl named melanie but she was a lesbian.. she was coming around though.. because she started giving me hugs every day and just being really nice to me, and i think i was getting her self esteem up, i was really showing her a lot of positive love and attention.. but she ended up getting fired and when i tried to talk to her afterwards she didn't respond.. i really liked melanie in every way, but the lesbianism is what caused the problems.. i would like to see her be delivered from that because she could be a great wife.. btw.. i have seen gay people in my life through work and school and one thing i've noticed is they tend to have a lot of problems... if you want problems and addictions and constant instability and issues- then be gay.. because like my pastor says, the devil will take you THROUGH hell, to get you TO hell one girl i knew this year broke up with her boyfriend because the Lord was speaking to her in her spirit saying "stop fornicating" and try to live right.. get married or be single or something.. so she broke up with her boyfriend and she was broke up for about 3 weeks and got back with him and then she ended up pregnant... i personally feel the Lord was trying to spare her from future problems but she wasn't trying to hear it i guess... i am not wishing bad on her at all, but i just want to point out i feel like her issues have already started because i don't think her guy has a job anymore... either way i wish them the best... but my point was- when she broke up with her b/f (before she was pregnant) for a little while i was wondering if she'd like to give me a chance, but obviously that didn't happen.. which is fine i met some girl named jennifer this year and one thing i have learned over time is women don't tell you they don't like you, they will do anything but that... and so i was under the guise that she might like me but i was wrong.... so she pretty much dissed me in the worst way possible.. like i called her one day and she didn't really say anything wrong, it was just the way she was talking to me was so rude, cold, and short.. she treated me really bad, like REALLY bad to the point where i just went to sleep after our conversation.. i didn't cry or anything like that, but i was just seriously drained after being treated like the village idiot... one thing i distinctly remember was after i decided to get off the phone and i was like "ok well i'm gnna go" or whatever she said "do you have anymore questions?" i mean it was just so rude and condescending like me asking her about herself and trying to get to know her was just the bane of her existence i think there are more women and stories but i'm just gnna stop right there and wrap this up basically this year i have realized women have very little value to me.. wifey is valuable.. the rest of women are just a problem.. i have a few female friends whom i respect for their honesty or because of their good heart.. but outside of that i don't care about women really at all.. and i actually prefer to be left alone as their presence has largely become an annoyance.. i still want a WIFE, but i don't really care for anything else like dating or new friendship or even lusting.. i only want one good woman whom i can trust.. why? because i have seen how untrustworthy women can be.. women don't know this but a lot of times i know their heart.. when they start acting up- i realize they are trying to distance themselves from me without actually saying outloud that they don't like me or they met another guy or whatever.. i have been lied to so many times by women its crazy.. and i always find out the truth somehow.. i would love to have one good woman but that's just so hard to find.... actually.. scratch that- i think its impossible to find if God doesn't give it to you then its not coming brah.. you aren't about to meet a good woman out here by chance i read a statistic somewhere about credit card debt being a fairly prevalent thing in the u.s.
this makes me think about all the encounters i have with people like if i tell someone i'm broke i tend to think its funny- but usually people don't really understand that i think its humorous when i say i am broke i usually just mean i don't have any extra, i don't usually mean i am in the red, or going hungry or something drastic like that for the most part, i am fine with not having extra, in a lot of respects i view that sacrifice (not having a lot) as a necessary thing 1. to develop appreciation 2. its a good habit to have some self control 3. it helps make it much sweeter when you actually DO get extra money, etc etc when i got this place i live in now, i slept on the floor for two months.. then i got a mattress and i slept on that (with no frame) for like 11 months... i didn't have a couch for over a year, etc however i never went and used a credit card to get these things, i never got impatient about it.. i mean yeah i wanted these things but for the most part i was chill enough to kinda laugh at myself and relax about it when i hear a negative statistic about credit card debt in the u.s. i wonder if other people feel the way i feel about things.. are they willing to 'not have' for a while? are they able to laugh at themselves and say "look, i don't even have furniture lol" or are they straight up just reaching for that credit card? i am not trying to toot my own horn and say i've got it together because i have a ton of room for improvement in life however i just feel like this is one area where a lot of peeps should try to relax not having things is ok... just try to keep living and hoping and striving.. u don't have to run up your credit card or whatever, you can put things off and try to be patient until you have that tangible money its ok to laugh at yourself if you don't have working heat in your ride... its ok to laugh at yourself because all you have is paper plates.. its ok to laugh at yourself because you slept on the floor and woke up with a neck cramp u don't have to just whip out that credit card or keep up with the jones's.. if you don't have a lot, sometimes that's an ok thing what do u peeps think.. what is ur perspective on money? thanksgiving was yesterday so i decided to give a little recap.. overall thanksgiving was pretty much as good as it could be
i am thankful that everyone is doing ok one weird thing was my cousin david (he's 18) spent the night at my house and for some reason when he did a number two he threw the used toilet paper in the trash... i didn't understand why he didn't flush it.. smh.. had my bathroom smelling like roasted balls.. he also kept playing meek mill on his phone.. ok the guy has some decent rhymes but after a while i am completely tired of hearing about "nggas" and "b*tches" and all that yelling.. yuck........... but i'm proud of david cuz he got a big scholarship some girl yesterday said she no longer wants to be my friend.. lol.. i fall out with so many females i could say more about thanksgiving but instead i will just say this tia (my sister) did a great poem for us.. i ate too much.. and i was really happy to see baby ava.. she is the best baby because she is cute and it seems like she never cries.. i held her a lot when i was there i haven't made a song in a long time but i want to talk about something some people have asked me about music
sometimes a person will ask me why i don't make any happy songs ok i want to talk about this i feel that happiness is a lack of conflict, with it being a lack of conflict- i feel there isn't much to say so basically i just feel there is nothing to really expound upon if you are happy however i do think there are some great happy songs... the primary one that i feel is a perfect example is prince's "let's go crazy" i feel that song really captures happiness in a unique way.. its not so much "happy" it feels more like "freedom" to me.. which i think is a great angle to take if you're trying to make a song that represents happiness to some extent in the song prince says: "feelin so excited/ don't know why/ maybe its because/ we're all gnna die/" this imo accomplishes a lot and keeps the song from being a one dimensional "i'm happy" type of thing.. here you have a few diff things A. "feeling excited" which helps set the tone B. "we're all gnna die" which is morbid and sort of like saying, "i'm not happy because everything is perfect, i am just happy in this moment without regard to the forecast" ... which hearkens back to what i said about the song feeling like "freedom" because its like he's free from feeling a certain way about circumstance.... it feels like he is "thumbing his nose" at bad news- also, so its like he's displaying a backbone "are we gnna let the elevator bring us down? OH NO LETS GO! let's go crazy, let's get nuts" prince really captured something there the way he did this to me is like a perfect way to do happiness and keep it rooted in reality spineless people for the most part aren't going to be happy in life.. those who see things yet keep the faith are able to proceed with strength so yeah i just wanted to talk about why i never really do happy songs and also talk about how i believe happy songs can work.. i do one day want to do a happy song but i would likely take a few hints from "let's go crazy" to make it work this was a news excerpt on my email smh.. what is wrong with people i am amazed each day at how stupid society has become
here's part 2, again i think my fave on this is the last one
+++++++++++++++++++++ i asked who u guys thought nicki minaj would be with back when she broke up with SB and i suspected she would be with some rich unknown guy like a fashion designer or something but she is with meek mill right now i didn't expect her to be with him what do u peeps think of this whole thing? i am not a huge celebrity type of person however i like peeping celebrities sometimes because i feel that their situations oftentimes have lessons we can learn from one thing i learned from this situation was that we as men need to stay as men.. i feel that SB sort of dropped the ball when he was with nicki he said in his song that he felt like a fool when nicki kissed nas.. smh.. AS YOU SHOULD!!! i think he sacrificed too much.. i don't care if your girl is the queen of england, you don't let her kiss another man she could be an actor, rapper, model, whatever your girl is- if she is twerking on other men, you need to put your foot down i think we as men need to put our foot down early and on everything not just on the big things.. otherwise your girl is going to feel like she can get over on you women always say they don’t like jealous men but they really do.. if you don’t show any sign of being jealous or protective over your woman she will think something is wrong.. he showed no signs of being affected by her doing all that wild stuff so she left him to find someone who would hold her in proper regard ++++++++++++++++ Here are the top people that are said to be good or talented but who aren't imo richard pryor j. cole eddie murphy notorious b.i.g ++++++++++++++++ i have noticed that in some instances there are two types of people you have people with family and therefore no true need to socialize or branch out and then you have people who don't really have a solid foundation of family who have a great need to reach out i never really realized this until one day i met a girl online and i remember the first time i spoke to her she really told me a lot about her life even though i lived really far from her i remember it really had an effect on me i was like wow i can't believe she is talking to me so much.. like i was a total stranger to her basically but when i asked her how her day was online (this was on myspace back in the day) she was really telling me about her day like in a sequence like "well first i did this, and then i went here.. etc" and one funny thing i always liked about her was how she would say something like "i went to see tiffany" or "i went to bremerton" that was always funny to me cuz i had no idea who tiffany was and i had no idea where bremerton was or what was in that city lol.. but that's why i liked her.. she would literally just tell me things as if i knew her forever and that is basically what showed me that you have people who are cool and friendly and you have people who are less open based a lot of times on their upbringing like her situation was that she only had her mom, she didn't know her dad and she likely has some brothers or sisters but she didn't know any of them.. and she moved around a lot.. i think mainly because it was hard for her mom to make ends meet or stay in a job for a long time this shined a light on me.. it showed me i've always had a pretty solid family foundation and so maybe so maybe that makes me less open and friendly.. i started to think about how i present myself to people more but over time i've realized some people don't have that foundation and so they oftentimes unconsciously seek it in other people like i remember one time this younger guy was asking me questions about life a lot and i didn't understand why until one day he explained to me that his dad used to do drugs and so he never really had a good relationship with him once he explained this to me i really understood why he was always sort of asking me questions about life or about the bible or just being extra cool toward me (because he needed/wanted someone to look up to) so in realizing this whole thing.. it has caused me to want to be nice to people more and be more friendly because.. even when its not a dramatic situation, you never know what a person is going through like when people move to a diff city/state for example.. man if you invite them to go to a movie with you they might really appreciate it because they might honestly not know anyone .. so i hope i can be there for someone in some way because not only would it help them- it is also a way to derive purpose from my own life/existence most people when you speak to them don't say much most of the time when you say "how's your day?" a person will say "its ok, how's yours?" but saying more and really engaging with a person sometimes can mean a lot ++++++++++++++++ in my life when i was in my late teens and 20s i wanted to be a rap artist over time i realized i was not successful and my thought process changed from trying to be a rapper to trying to walk through open doors i am not saying anyone else should do this however i somewhat feel that this has worked for me- at least on some levels walking through open doors is somewhat of like an act of submission instead of kicking a door down, you just look around and find the path that is laid out i kinda feel like everyone has this same struggle but people don't realize it you have things that you really want in life and you have zeal for them and you go after them but there are other factors that you are likely not taking into account where will you be in 5 to 10 yrs going after that fun thing? In moving toward your allotted goal, what are you giving up/turning away from? in life there are open doors all around us.. should we walk through the open doors or should we chase things that are elusive? i see this with women a lot they have a lot of decent men talk to them but women don't want the 'open door' guy..... women want the man they have to chase, they want the man they have to fight other women over.. they want the difficult thing but what is the cost of that highly coveted man? do you live in a mansion while your man travels and sleeps with other women? is that worth it? not saying this is the case every time but i am just pointing out an example so we can see the decisions we are faced with (btw I have an audio on this topic I may post one day) ++++++++++++++++ does anyone remember playing mario brothers back in the day and you played it so much that you remembered where all the invisible blocks were? so then you would be playing it and whenever someone would be watching you play it they would be dumbfounded like "how did you know that was there?" LOL man what were those programmers smoking back then? i mean 30 years later, mario brothers is still crazy lol ++++++++++++++++ i have had various people ask me why i don't go on christian mingle or some christian dating site i want to answer this i have been on christian dating sites before the problem with them is the women who are on them there are some good christian women.. so what i am about to say does not apply to all christian women, but it does apply to a lot of them first of all- the christian faith has a lot of sayings in it that make women feel like "princesses" or "prizes" i am not against women feeling good about who they are and their role in a relationship but i believe things are taught in a way that sort of misconstrues biblical teaching many christian women look at men through a weird lens.. like "i can say this to you but you can't say this to me" sort of lens.. like "you should do this because you're a man.. but because i'm a woman i shouldn't have to blah blah" this sort of entitled personality mixed with the confusion of how men are perceived amount to what i call the "princess" "prize" viewpoint that many christian women have how many women out there would like for their man to say something like "i shouldn't have to touch a dish in my house" does that sound like the man you want? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A WOMAN COOKING OR CLEANING BUT YOU CANNOT GUILT TRIP SOMEONE INTO SUBJECTION OR LORD A GENDER ROLE OVER THEM.. WHY? Because before you are a gender, you are a human being many christian women don't seem to understand that yes- men have gender roles but we don't need you acting bossy saying things like: "my granddad did this for my grandmother so you should do this for me" its thoughts and statements like that that make women sound annoying to us men.. if i said to a woman "my mom did it like this so you should too!" wouldn't that sound demeaning to you? that is a big problem with many christian women.. they have "traditional" views but only during times that are convenient for them "its time for you to mow the lawn" "defend my honor" "you should be happy to pay my bills because you’re the man" Modern secular women usually are too independent, but a lot of Christian women are like too traditional to a point where it sounds like they are delegating to men who and what they should be all the time i only date christian women but what i am saying is i don't generally date the christian women whom i am speaking of right now.. the christian women whom i am speaking of right now tend to be on sites like christian mingle or whatever the christian women who are tolerable and cool tend to be on the "secular" dating sites when i say tolerable and cool what i basically mean is like.. women who are more casual about their relationships women who understand, yes their are gender roles but A. i don't have to fulfill it to your particular standard to be accepted.. meaning I AM NOT YOUR ROBOT BOY TOY and B. she still should be grateful for what i do.. me "being a man" doesn't mean i don't deserve a thank you if my wife cooks me dinner that's like a part of her gender role but i still need to say thank you its not just "my job" to mow the lawn or risk my life for you or pay for you to go back to school i am still human and i am still doing it out of love and care many christian women just think "you're a man- you should be doing this anyway, and if you're a real man i shouldn't have to say thank you.. you're a man and i'm a prize.. i'm a princess" there's more to it than that overall: I am pro gender roles, but I do not believe they should be dogmatic, they should be done in humility.. a lot of christian women say things like “I shouldn’t have to open my own car door” which comes across as bossy and kindof annoying.. these are the reasons why I never used the Christian sites, because I ran into a lot of that “do it or else” “knife to the neck” traditionalism |
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December 2015
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