i realized what i saw during thanksgiving was a matriarchy at work
i want to talk about this so that will be coming soon
i think this upcoming entry will be really eye opening so remember to come back and read it and see what u think of it
sidenote: what do u peeps think of people who don't celebrate thanksgiving? i think i ran into some people who don't celebrate it and i thought it was odd because my understanding of thanksgiving is that its just eating and giving thanks for what u have.. i've never seen it as a negative holiday.. what do u think? is it legit or unlegit?
this is another must see video
it speaks volumes
"life isn't fair"
is this video about short men? or is it universal?
this is a must see video.. its interesting how it echoes a lot of the things i say except it probably doesn't sound as offensive as when i say it lol
btw, it uses a song i posted here on the site a few yrs ago.. a song from a video game called nights: journey of dreams.. i didn't expect to hear that song used here.. but its a good song so if anyone wants to listen here's a link to it
i want to do a recap of some of the women i liked this year
i really liked this girl named alicia at my job but she had a few things in her life i didn't like so it was weird.. i was wondering if i should overlook them or not.. but the main issue i had was i didn't feel like she had any interest in me based on some of her conduct.. i was confused because i know women these days try to act hard, so u never know if that's a front or if that's really them.. if its a front- i am willing to stick around until the wall comes down.. if its reality then i'm not interested.... i have asked a few women their opinion on some of her conduct but their opinions a lot of times are rooted in their own loneliness.. they always think i should keep trying and pursuing but i'm like "look, if she can't show me any kind of interest then forget it cuz i'm tired of being the only person trying" ... madd women don't understand that....... they just think men are punching bags who never get tired of being ignored... that's just not true.. i actually still like alicia but i have not gotten any type of "yes" to anything i've invited her to do.. granted she doesn't say no but i want a "that sounds good" or "ok call me" or "i'm free during...." just not saying no isn't enough.. i don't get why women seem to want men to come to their house and grab them by their arm.. i mean if that's what it takes then fine but if i do then don't say i'm coming on too strong.. i just would like some flirting coming back my way because that helps me know i am not wasting my time on a woman who doesn't like me.... i know women will go out with a guy they don't like because women like attention and food.. i have taken women places only to have them A. ignore me or B. tell me they don't want to see me anymore.. so sue me but i want a woman to show some type of interest through flirting back with me, or saying yes to a date, or ANSWERING WHEN I CALL smh... as soon as i stop trying then women say "james don't give up yet, get back in there" but i'm like "dude if she don't like me then she don't like me"
i liked a girl named melanie but she was a lesbian.. she was coming around though.. because she started giving me hugs every day and just being really nice to me, and i think i was getting her self esteem up, i was really showing her a lot of positive love and attention.. but she ended up getting fired and when i tried to talk to her afterwards she didn't respond.. i really liked melanie in every way, but the lesbianism is what caused the problems.. i would like to see her be delivered from that because she could be a great wife.. btw.. i have seen gay people in my life through work and school and one thing i've noticed is they tend to have a lot of problems... if you want problems and addictions and constant instability and issues- then be gay.. because like my pastor says, the devil will take you THROUGH hell, to get you TO hell
one girl i knew this year broke up with her boyfriend because the Lord was speaking to her in her spirit saying "stop fornicating" and try to live right.. get married or be single or something.. so she broke up with her boyfriend and she was broke up for about 3 weeks and got back with him and then she ended up pregnant... i personally feel the Lord was trying to spare her from future problems but she wasn't trying to hear it i guess... i am not wishing bad on her at all, but i just want to point out i feel like her issues have already started because i don't think her guy has a job anymore... either way i wish them the best... but my point was- when she broke up with her b/f (before she was pregnant) for a little while i was wondering if she'd like to give me a chance, but obviously that didn't happen.. which is fine
i met some girl named jennifer this year and one thing i have learned over time is women don't tell you they don't like you, they will do anything but that... and so i was under the guise that she might like me but i was wrong.... so she pretty much dissed me in the worst way possible.. like i called her one day and she didn't really say anything wrong, it was just the way she was talking to me was so rude, cold, and short.. she treated me really bad, like REALLY bad to the point where i just went to sleep after our conversation.. i didn't cry or anything like that, but i was just seriously drained after being treated like the village idiot... one thing i distinctly remember was after i decided to get off the phone and i was like "ok well i'm gnna go" or whatever she said "do you have anymore questions?" i mean it was just so rude and condescending like me asking her about herself and trying to get to know her was just the bane of her existence
i think there are more women and stories but i'm just gnna stop right there and wrap this up
basically this year i have realized women have very little value to me.. wifey is valuable.. the rest of women are just a problem.. i have a few female friends whom i respect for their honesty or because of their good heart.. but outside of that i don't care about women really at all.. and i actually prefer to be left alone as their presence has largely become an annoyance.. i still want a WIFE, but i don't really care for anything else like dating or new friendship or even lusting.. i only want one good woman whom i can trust.. why?
because i have seen how untrustworthy women can be.. women don't know this but a lot of times i know their heart.. when they start acting up- i realize they are trying to distance themselves from me without actually saying outloud that they don't like me or they met another guy or whatever.. i have been lied to so many times by women its crazy.. and i always find out the truth somehow.. i would love to have one good woman but that's just so hard to find.... actually.. scratch that- i think its impossible to find
if God doesn't give it to you then its not coming brah.. you aren't about to meet a good woman out here by chance
i read a statistic somewhere about credit card debt being a fairly prevalent thing in the u.s.
this makes me think about all the encounters i have with people
like if i tell someone i'm broke i tend to think its funny- but usually people don't really understand that i think its humorous
when i say i am broke i usually just mean i don't have any extra, i don't usually mean i am in the red, or going hungry or something drastic like that
for the most part, i am fine with not having extra, in a lot of respects i view that sacrifice (not having a lot) as a necessary thing 1. to develop appreciation 2. its a good habit to have some self control 3. it helps make it much sweeter when you actually DO get extra money, etc etc
when i got this place i live in now, i slept on the floor for two months.. then i got a mattress and i slept on that (with no frame) for like 11 months... i didn't have a couch for over a year, etc
however i never went and used a credit card to get these things, i never got impatient about it.. i mean yeah i wanted these things but for the most part i was chill enough to kinda laugh at myself and relax about it
when i hear a negative statistic about credit card debt in the u.s. i wonder if other people feel the way i feel about things.. are they willing to 'not have' for a while? are they able to laugh at themselves and say "look, i don't even have furniture lol" or are they straight up just reaching for that credit card?
i am not trying to toot my own horn and say i've got it together because i have a ton of room for improvement in life however i just feel like this is one area where a lot of peeps should try to relax
not having things is ok... just try to keep living and hoping and striving.. u don't have to run up your credit card or whatever, you can put things off and try to be patient until you have that tangible money
its ok to laugh at yourself if you don't have working heat in your ride... its ok to laugh at yourself because all you have is paper plates.. its ok to laugh at yourself because you slept on the floor and woke up with a neck cramp
u don't have to just whip out that credit card or keep up with the jones's.. if you don't have a lot, sometimes that's an ok thing
what do u peeps think.. what is ur perspective on money?
thanksgiving was yesterday so i decided to give a little recap.. overall thanksgiving was pretty much as good as it could be
i am thankful that everyone is doing ok
one weird thing was my cousin david (he's 18) spent the night at my house and for some reason when he did a number two he threw the used toilet paper in the trash... i didn't understand why he didn't flush it.. smh.. had my bathroom smelling like roasted balls.. he also kept playing meek mill on his phone.. ok the guy has some decent rhymes but after a while i am completely tired of hearing about "nggas" and "b*tches" and all that yelling.. yuck........... but i'm proud of david cuz he got a big scholarship
some girl yesterday said she no longer wants to be my friend.. lol.. i fall out with so many females
i could say more about thanksgiving but instead i will just say this
tia (my sister) did a great poem for us.. i ate too much.. and i was really happy to see baby ava.. she is the best baby because she is cute and it seems like she never cries.. i held her a lot when i was there
i haven't made a song in a long time but i want to talk about something some people have asked me about music
sometimes a person will ask me why i don't make any happy songs
ok i want to talk about this
i feel that happiness is a lack of conflict, with it being a lack of conflict- i feel there isn't much to say
so basically i just feel there is nothing to really expound upon if you are happy
however i do think there are some great happy songs... the primary one that i feel is a perfect example is prince's "let's go crazy"
i feel that song really captures happiness in a unique way.. its not so much "happy" it feels more like "freedom" to me.. which i think is a great angle to take if you're trying to make a song that represents happiness to some extent
in the song prince says: "feelin so excited/ don't know why/ maybe its because/ we're all gnna die/"
this imo accomplishes a lot and keeps the song from being a one dimensional "i'm happy" type of thing.. here you have a few diff things
A. "feeling excited" which helps set the tone
B. "we're all gnna die" which is morbid and sort of like saying, "i'm not happy because everything is perfect, i am just happy in this moment without regard to the forecast" ... which hearkens back to what i said about the song feeling like "freedom" because its like he's free from feeling a certain way about circumstance.... it feels like he is "thumbing his nose" at bad news- also, so its like he's displaying a backbone
"are we gnna let the elevator bring us down? OH NO LETS GO! let's go crazy, let's get nuts"
prince really captured something there
the way he did this to me is like a perfect way to do happiness and keep it rooted in reality
spineless people for the most part aren't going to be happy in life.. those who see things yet keep the faith are able to proceed with strength
so yeah i just wanted to talk about why i never really do happy songs and also talk about how i believe happy songs can work.. i do one day want to do a happy song but i would likely take a few hints from "let's go crazy" to make it work
this was a news excerpt on my email smh.. what is wrong with people
i am amazed each day at how stupid society has become
i was on plenty of fish just looking around (no, i'm not dating) and i saw this girl i dated in february
her headline says "i am done bluffing" now which seems to mean "i am done acting like i don't want a relationship" or "i am done acting unpleasant for no reason"
if anyone is curious as to what our exchange was like in february then go to my entry on 2-22-15 called "this generation has some issues" .. in that entry i sort of talked about how she acted and how i felt it was a defense mechanism
i somewhat feel like her headline is reflective of what i thought of her.. like i thought she needed to relax and be cool and not be so standoffish, be nice and stop acting like she doesn't care
seeing her headline makes me wonder if she learned a lesson, (not that i am the teacher of said lesson or anything) i just wonder what may have prompted that headline..... i also wonder if she really means it?
i also wonder if she stopped smoking
she wasn't bad, if she would just chill on those things i mentioned