i've had these entries on deck for a while but never posted them.. but now's the time.. pt 2 is coming soon
(btw i think my fave out of these is the last one at the bottom) ++++++++++++++++++++++++ Here’s some fairly recent news- blac chyna had been dating future and she got a tattoo of his name on her hand, and as soon as she posted it online- future went online and confirmed that he is single that is SO embarrassing, like literally one of the most embarrassing things i've ever seen i think +++++++++++++++++++ what do u peeps think is the best way to deal with a woman who has an attitude? here are the general options 1. ignore her 2. confront her on what she is saying both of these options are kinda irritating, u really don't want to do either one.. because you want things to be going well between the both of you.. you don't want to ignore her and bottle up a feeling and you don't want to confront her and risk offending her because a lot of women can dish it but not take it so through things like this i came up with a 3rd option for dealing with women that option is basically.............................. i guess i'd call it acknowledgement what you do is you acknowledge that you feel as if what she said was dumb, but you don't really go into any detail about it you immediately express dislike and show no further sign of irritation after the initial 5 seconds.. this will make her try to guess what u are thinking which makes it so u remain in a position of power because you keep your composure so u basically express a dislike for what she is saying, but you also simultaneously refuse to "go there" with her so she has a decision to make.. keep acting without logic and thus alienating herself from you or attempt to come back around this method saves you from bottling up an issue and it also saves you from magnifying it beyond its importance its just expression of disdain/dislike and then on to the next thing such as: shrug of shoulders that says "i don't care" and diverting your attention saying "that's retarded" and moving on to the next subject things like those so u establish your standard and just keep it moving.. u don't engage with a woman who wants to argue because it is a waste of time.. think about it like this.. 9 times out of 10, women themselves don't even like other women, so of course you as a man shouldn't expect them to always be tolerable either.. u acknowledge and accept that they are at times ridiculous and just keep it movin this (imo) is the best way to deal with women.. just know in your mind that absurdity and skewed logic with them are sometimes inevitable.. that will help you to keep your cool no matter what +++++++++++++++++++ God knows we all have sinned but He sees past it if we are willing to put it behind us for the most part this is something i have adopted in my dealings with women mean lets just be real here.. most women have a sketchy past however if a woman is willing to leave her past in the past then i am for the most part willing to accept her and overlook it i feel like as a man it is part of my responsibility to name my children and rename the woman in my life, so if she has been a skank, if I really love her its my job to, not to make her feel bad about her past, but to give her a new future.. a new name and a new starting point +++++++++++++++++++ a lot of times i like to hear artists talk about their lives because it gives their music more context one of my fave artists growing up was this rapper who was always rapping about killing people and banging prostitutes and just doing crazy things i was reading about him recently just to see what i could find and some bio i found said when he was like 12 the police murdered his cousin right in front of him this made all of his music make sense if you saw something so awful happen right in front of your face at such a young age, you likely would no longer see the world as a just or fair place.. you would probably develop a hatred inside and you would probably even develop a sort of emotional numbness to outside circumstances and situations, which explains his content another artist who makes a lot more sense after reading about his life is prince.. who are the artists you understood a lot more after reading their bio? +++++++++++++++++++ i saw something the other day and it said "the opposite of love is indifference" i'm not here to argue about whether that is true or not, but that is what i feel from women i feel like they are indifferent toward me- like i just don't matter at all.. dealing with this frustrates me over time like i try not to take it personal but sometimes u almost can't help it i try to understand that people have their own lives and they have to do their own thing but it feels so insulting sometimes to feel like u have no umm.. u have no weight with the opposite sex.. like u call them and they just look at their phone and put it back down it makes u feel inside like ur not even human i try to just chill.. but deep down at times i feel highly insulted one thing that makes it so much worse to me is when women outright lie.. like i'd rather they just tell me the truth i personally sort of feel like i can tell when someone is lying.. even in a text message so here are some examples of lies i've encountered from women "i'm busy" - she doesn't want to chill (evidence is lack of reschedule) "yeah i want to hang out" - if this is followed by 'call me on blah blah' it is a lie.. because when you call her she won’t answer "i'm going to sleep" - its 6 or 7 pm.. she is having sex with someone and therefore busy for the night and doesn't want to tell you.. she is saying she won't be answering the phone until tomorrow afternoon (if that) "i'm leaving my phone at home" - this is when she just doesn't want to talk to you specifically "i'm busy lately" - this is when she met a new guy and you are a 'distraction' to her so its like saying 'leave me alone indefinitely' "i'm going out of town for a week.. i'm staying with an old girlfriend" - she's staying with (and banging) a guy and doesn't want to tell me "i hung out with my girlfriend so and so" - she was with a guy "i gotta go" - this means you're asking too many questions this is why it is usually a surprise that women are in relationships by the time you find out she is in a relationship, she has been in an official relationship for about two months or so.. but for that whole time she was lying to you about what she was doing its not that you necessarily even care that she has another guy- its just the feeling of being lied to that is bothersome u just feel like you were not respected enough to be told the truth.. like you are just a person who is unimportant.. not worth an honorable response makes u feel as if you have been redirected in the same way that a child would be its just not cool when 9 times out of 10 you realize you're the only one trying ++++++++++++++++ proverbs 19:14 "....a prudent wife is from the Lord" "prudent" is basically like - wise.. proper.. someone who makes good decisions "wife" is basically like - mate, helper, someone who is there for you, someone who supports you and stays with you, someone made literally for you some of these guys think their wife is from God but if she can't be described as prudent then i can't really cosign that thought "from the Lord" basically means it comes from Jesus Christ.. He gives you a prudent wife.. it's not something you get by your own charms or money.. that's why all rap songs are about hoes.. because that is what those men are attracting and what they are surrounded by.. but those women aren't from God because they are not prudent "from the Lord" also means you don't have to look for her or "be" something.. what you instead have to do is make sure you are in good standing with the Lord so that you can ask and receive... and also have patience because God's timing may be different from yours so lets break it down a little more a wise, proper woman who makes good decisions, who will have your back, be down for you, help you, lift you up, stay with you, and bless your life is from the Lord since she is described as a wife- this means she is not a fairweather friend.. she is really there for you.. so you don't actually have to flash money and status, she is yours to keep or as marriage vows would say- "to have and to hold" this woman (being basically a helper from God to you) is down for you and has your interest in mind and will grow with you.. and she will hold onto you through ups and downs.. she won't jump ship when you lose your job... yeah she is human, but she is going to hold u down and show loyalty when you need it so.. the way i see it.. a wife is not something you seek, it is something the Lord presents to you but the timing will have to be right also.. the only reason i say the timing will have to be right is because that has been my experience in life.. God's timing may be diff from yours for whatever reason.. like when i got my current apartment.. i got the keys to it and on that very same day i got my new driver's license in the mail which had my new address on it.. and that was confirmation to me that it was God's timing so when you are presented with a wife, you may want to look for a confirmation of the timing being on point.. chances are the signs will be there if you look around i am convinced there is nothing a man can do to make a girl like him... if you have money.. a woman will hang around but she is just hanging around for the money if you have good sex, she still might talk about how triflin' you are behind your back.. just because she adds "but the sex is great" at the end doesn't mean she really is there for you i am also convinced there is nothing a man can do to make a woman act right you might even marry a woman, but she might cheat on you.. you can't treat a woman good enough to make her act right.. i've seen good men get dragged by women so as a man, finding these things is out of our hands... but God can do it "a prudent wife comes from the Lord" you can see that takes care of both aspects A. the "liking you" part.. and B. the "acting right" part
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over and over again one of my biggest complaints about women is that men live up to their gender roles but women don't live up to theirs i understand women like guys with muscles i understand women like guys who are independent i understand women like guys who are educated i understand women like guy who are (insert whatever) myself, and guys around me all know these things and we strive to live up to women's wants, desires, and expectations but over and over women are always complaining about men's desires.. women constantly complain about cooking, getting made up and looking pretty, or my favorite "why can't i be a slut?" or "why should i submit to my husband?" which really means: i like to argue and complain and tell him how wrong he is! the other day i got into it with this girl on youtube and she flat out said she and a lot of other women just refuse to be in submission to a good man.. actually here is part of the exchange: (2 Sidenotes: obviously i am coldsky.. also i want to point out SHE brought up race in the conversation, not me.. i don't want anyone thinking i was bringing up race and trying to bash black women by saying they are worse than other races.. i never brought up race at all, that was her)
see here you have a woman admitting she refuses to be a good woman.. she flat out refuses to be flexible, agreeable, or trusting toward a man.. she REFUSES to be what a man desires OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, i see women who want a man to treat them "like a woman" but these same women refuse to treat their men like a man.. meaning show a brotha some respect, or appreciation, or tell a brotha that he impacted your life somehow.. men are not really getting this from women today- women a lot of times instead make us feel small women always want a guy who is older, taller, more experienced, smart, and dominant, who has more money than she does, etc. that should tell you right there that women are looking for a man to lead- which naturally makes the man head of the household.. but women still refuse to fall back at all.. they think they are "man #2" in the relationship as opposed to taking that allotted role as woman this mindstate is a problem here are my main thoughts 1. women should find men they like, respect, and admire enough to submit to.. if you don't trust your husband then you are with the wrong guy 2. women need to understand that gender roles have good and bad points.. as far as flesh is concerned let me break this down as a man i have good things in my gender role such as the respect of my family, the submission of my family, the ability to make the final decisions, and i get honor from my wife and children however the negative side of my gender role is the fact that if a burglar comes into our house, i have to be the one to risk my life and go downstairs and fight while i'm still in my pajama pants.. or if my family goes broke- that's on me, or if i don't work i am considered scum, or sometimes as a man i might be going through something and i may have to hide it so that i don't scare my family with my problems and agony when it comes to women, women have their good parts of the gender role.. they get protection, love, guidance, stability, and freedom/ability to operate as a wife and mother.. they get to love their children as the man will likely (9 times out of 10) be the disciplinarian and "the bad guy" as far as kids are concerned.. they also get a man who will create a foundation for them and fix cars, fix plumbing, listen to them, help them stay stable, and help make her way easier- etc the bad part of the female gender role (again this is according to flesh) is the fact that women cannot be hoes and be considered good women simultaneously.. also they have to submit to their husbands and be a crown to him and not a reproach.. she may have to cook or look nice when she really just wants to rock sweat pants.. she may have to have sex with her husband even when she isn't in the mood my point is there are good and bad points to each gender role.. but women are the only ones who i continually see refuse any of the "bad" they reason "if i don't want to do it then its wrong" or "if i want to do it then its right" again.. DO YOU WOMEN THINK MEN LIKED DYING ON THE TITANIC because of "women and children first" ???? we need real women in today's society who understand that relationships are a responsibility you do have the pros, but you also have the things you may not want to do all the time- but you have to operate in your role a child is not an adult.. a woman is not a man.. a man is not a god.. do you understand? we all have to operate within our given role you can't as a woman enjoy all the luxuries of a relationship with none of the responsibilities.. you will not have a real relationship if you are selfish in every scenario i am just tired of women not understanding that they aren't the only ones who have to sacrifice comfort and fun for the greater good within a marriage and/or family setting both men and women- we all have to take one for the team at some point in some way.. refusing to do so is selfishness, conceit, and immaturity WE SHOULD ALL STRIVE TO BE WHAT THE OPPOSING GENDER WOULD LIKE US TO BE AS THEIR REQUESTS (9 times out of 10) ARE NOT ARBITRARY a man who listens to what women say they want will usually become a better man.. and a woman who listens to what men say they want will usually become a better woman the problem is women are not listening to us men anymore.. instead of looking inward and trying to change, they are creating "slut-walks" and things.. do u see men fighting for the right not to take care of his kids? or men fighting for the right to not have a job? men still have shame, women don't... does anyone feel me on this.. has anyone seen this other than myself? this is not an emotional rant, because i am not even dating anymore so i am detached from the topic- i'm just putting this out there because its something i've observed i am so salty about the fact that black friday is coming and i have no money
brah do u know how much stuff i could buy cheap? smh... i just paid my car insurance and renter's insurance.. i pay car insurance twice a year and i pay renter's once a year.. they came the same month so you can imagine what that did to my monies i would've liked to get some stuff for black friday, brah i had a nightmare last night where i was still in college
i was wanting to graduate but i still needed a bunch of credits and i was feeling the pressure that dream was weird to me.. like it really kinda struck me as odd for some reason i'm kinda marinating on it why can't some people understand i actually like being alone?
people are like "you don't do anything" lol.. i don't think what other people think is fun is fun i don't care about going out to eat or to movies or whatever.. i like staying inside and drinking coffee and going to the gym and doing whatever why don't people understand this i said on a song once "all i wanna build is a foundation/ so my family can stand like a proud nation/" ...meaning i usually want to put forth an effort to build, or i want to rest.. i'm not saying all the time.. but most of the time those are the things i like to prioritize going out, wasting time, having "fun" (which is SUBJECTIVE) is not something i really care about unless i really feel like doing it which is once a blue moon.. i'd rather relax, or write on my website, or run errands, or do some of that paperwork we seem to always have as adults back in 2012 i went to see a movie because the power was out where i was living.. i went out because my choice was go out or sit in the dark.. this whole arbitrary "go out because its the weekend" thing is silly to me i told a girl the other day that resting counts as "something" so you can't say i do nothing on weekends people are weird to me sometimes because they go to work for 40 hours then they want to do a bunch of stuff.. the problem with this is i feel they aren't allowing themselves time to think and process... they crowd their lives with activities but to me that feels claustrophobic i actually like space and time Ok I’m ready to talk about all the reasons why I am giving up dating
this is an important entry imo if you're single and christian this is a must read first off... I have noticed my opinion of women has really taken a nosedive.. and for a long time I have blamed women for this but I’m about at a place where I blame dating instead The reason I blame dating now instead of women is because if you are dating then you are essentially looking for the right person which can be like a needle in a haystack.. you don't have the vantage point that the Lord has so you'll likely have to weed through a lot of crap.. seeking a needle in a haystack is inevitably going to be a frustrating endeavor i run into a lot of the wrong women and i end up getting frustrated- but lately i realize i need to take a different approach to finding the right woman I listened to a conan o’brien interview the other day and he said when he was young his dream job was to work as a writer on david letterman.. well he did everything he could to try and get that job and he made it really far, but he didn’t get the position as he was recalling all of this he said “if I would’ve gotten the position at letterman then I never would have the career I have now” (as a late night talk show host) So this is what I think is at play while dating.. we are going out with people hoping it works out, and we become upset or frustrated when it doesn’t.. but the whole reason it doesn’t work out oftentimes is because (like in the situation with conan) that’s not the best thing for us.. the failure is supposed to prompt you to try a diff avenue i know some of this may start sounding cliche but understand this is not me repeating anecdotes, this is something i've put some thought into So the question is.. what is the best thing for us? If you don’t fear God then go ahead and date and have all types of illicit sex while you’re at it.. however if you are a God-fearing person who is seeking marriage then you have to understand that chances are- the Lord wants to bring you to the right person for you.. and if this is the case then you might need to fall back and allow Him to do just that Let me give an example of what I mean A few years ago when I lived in Clarksville, I visited a church and when I walked in, some old guy apparently didn’t like my shirt and he made a comment saying someone should get me a button up (my shirt was a zip up).. I literally walked in the church for 5 seconds, heard that guy say that- then I walked right back out because it just seemed absurd, like.. what does my zip up shirt have to do with anything? is this a church where i can come to hear the Word, or is this some kind of vain clique-ish club? So some time later- when I moved back to Nashville and I was looking for a church, I thought about that and I said to myself.. ok I can go around and look for churches one by one and probably have more awkward experiences like that- or I can just pray and ask God to send me to the right church.. knowing how awkward it could be going to diff churches (especially considering how they treat newcomers) I decided to just pray and ask God to help me find the right church for me instead of looking Then after a while the Lord led me to the right church my point is that looking for a spouse should be done in the same way why go to one or two churches every sunday for like 4 months when you can just pray and ask the Lord to help you find the right one according to His will? going to the churches would be frustrating.. waste of gas, waste of time, incorrect teachings, clique-ish people, etc. etc. and that's what dating is to me right now.. its frustrating and it has caused me to hate women.. i realize i have been hitting my head on a brick wall, when i really need to just give it to the Lord you might be saying, wow james- why did you wise up so soon concerning church but not dating? i think its because i've always been more eager to find a woman than a church.. so when church became frustrating i was more willing to just let it go and give it to God.. but when it comes to dating, even though it became frustrating i was so eager to have a woman that i just kept trying and trying and getting more and more frustrated and disillusioned with the dating pool so i just wanted to say this i feel like this is going to lead me to a place where i no longer blame women for being "dumb" because the fact is if a woman is wrong for me then why am i upset we didn't work out? i am gaining tunnel vision.. realizing i was exposing myself to a lot of women but if God is a God of purpose then why am i doing that? what would be the purpose of dating 100 women, spending my time and money on women who are not worth it.. i should just ask the Lord to lead me to the right woman and keep it moving "be still and know that i am God" sometimes it is our job to be still remember God put adam to sleep before bringing eve.. when you are asleep you are being still i have to let it go so for the record i no longer blame women for my frustration.. i now blame dating itself.. in some cases we try to help God but in doing that we get in the way and harm ourselves in the process i wish i could let you guys see this girl's butt at the gym
her booty was really nice.. just fat and round poked out... but it wasn't so much her butt that was getting my attention, it was her pants.. i say this because if she wore normal pants or shorts then i might've just A. not noticed or B. noticed and kept it movin.. but her pants just made me want to put my face in her anus i mean, a nice butt is a nice butt.. but this was different, because somehow her butt looked better in those pants than if she had just painted it instead..... it was hard to look away i mean her pants were so tight and thin it was ridiculous.. every time she bent over it was like you could see her flesh tone more underneath and the pants literally looked like she shoved them up her crack for maximum effect.. i mean it was really remarkable women really trip me out sometimes with the things they wear.. i don't really understand, i guess sometimes i feel like if its not for sale then take it off display but i'm not very "prudish" about this stuff for lack of a better word i just can't believe the things women wear sometimes.. i mean they will wear something that gets your blood pumping and mouth salivating.. and to them its probably nothing, but to us men its like....... its just like say u've been hungry all day then you see a bunch of people just ordered pizza and they are opening the boxes and u are just looking and wishing it was yours but you know in the back of your mind if you ask for a slice you will be turned down its really weird man... sometimes its like "what gives?" why do women show us men their boobs and butts all day just to act uninterested and turn us down? sometimes i see women and they look so good i can't even really speak to them.. because my subconscious mind is screaming its head off saying RIP HER CLOTHES OFF NOW!!!!!!! ...my conscious mind can barely hear itself think at that point and i feel like a deer in headlights on some "r.i.p. composure" type ish but anyway i just wanted to talk about that |
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December 2015
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