this 11 stuff sometimes seems to get complex
i looked at the clock recently before leaving the house and it said 12:44 then for some reason i thought to myself to add each of the numbers in my head (have no idea why i had this thought) it equals 11 then a few minutes later i happened to look at a different clock and it said 12:53 i realized this also equals 11 this is on top of the normal 11:11 that i still seem to see too often this stuff trips me out sometimes the weirdest part for me tonight was that thought that told me to add the numbers.. it just kinda came out of nowhere.. almost like it wasn't my own thought if i look at the clock on purpose its never 11.. its only when its unexpected is this the whole message? there is the phrase "the 11th hour" which means "time's almost up" then i always see it at an unexpected time so is this God saying "time's almost up and i'll come when u won't expect it" ??? if you think about it like that- it makes sense and is scripturally sound
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anyone remember this cartoon? madd old.. was on back in the nes days.. (nintendo entertainment system) cartridges and frustrating moments games were harder than balls back then lol but aye.... captain N wasn't effen around mah dude dey need to bring him backz.. revive captain N !!! his swag was on a billi !!!!! one thing i am subconsciously trying to come to grips with is my extreme desire to sin and/or how i sin everyday i am pretty sure i sin somehow every single day when i really think hard.. it seems the best i have been able to accomplish morality-wise is to set a "line" and not cross it.. yet the temptations remain is it possible to be perfectz? how close can i get? iono ++++++ i got rayman origins about two months ago.. i wanted to show it.. its a really fun game.. if ur looking for a fun game that's like the old 90s games (mario/sonic style) then get this.. its 1-4 players also so u can play it with ur friends/family ++++++ i'd say one of the main issues i have in life is that i hate multi-tasking i really wish i could just work, but instead of just working and making money its school work grocery store various paperwork (taxes, bills, financial aid) auto care exercise maintaining relationships the list could go on i really wish i could make this list go down so that i could focus on something without feeling like i'm always "switching on and off" between different things its something that i try to not say anything about but i feel very unstable and sometimes insane trying to be mindful of everything anything that would help me to deal with the various tasks in life would be a welcome change not complaining, just saying ++++++ back to the mt zion baptist church controversy (not big news, but it is kinda big in nashville area so...) i wanted to say something concerning bishop walker's sex scandal thing here are the church's decisions as of right now.. 1. proclaim innocence and fight it out in court 2. settle.. which would include giving the plaintiffs money in exchange that they sign something stating they won't talk anymore about what happened now.. if mt. zion proclaims innocence and fight it out and win then maybe u can rest assured that they are actually innocent but if they choose option #2 and settle.. then that makes them look guilty furthermore.. if option #2 is taken, then that basically would/should make any sensible tithing Christian rethink giving money to the church (because look at where its going) overall, i just can't cosign or vouch for them if they end up choosing option 2 Do yOu RemeMbeR WhEn it WaS LiKe 1998 AnD We usED tO TyPe LiKE tHi$?
i remember sending people emails like that and not even thinking twice about it lol i would love to see some of those old AOL emails i used to send to people i remember back then chatting with other 13 and 14 yr old girls and stuff (i was that age too).. back then was like a certain golden age of the internet it was all about chatrooms and stuff.. scanning pictures and sending them to people was kindof a thrill.. i guess it was still kinda new back then back then it seemed like there was more of a sense of community on the internet.. today its diff because today its more about facebook facebook however is very impersonal back in like 98 you'd go on a chat, meet someone, then talk to them online whenever u both were on.. it would last for as long as you two had internet connection.. it was personal.. two people messaging eachother and telling eachother secrets because u are still total strangers in a sense i just wanted to talk a bit about the old days of the net.. anyway back to facebook ok here's one issue with facebook that i don't think i've detailed before one of my main issues i have with it is the fact that (like i said) its impersonal say u want to say something to ur friend in real life.. then u will say it and u will say it on you and your friends' terms however if you say it on their facebook wall, then instead of talking to that person in the way that u want to speak, instead u will likely tailor that message to be something that everyone can understand or appreciate or not be offended at in other words, facebook is like a major beacon of 'conditioning' it conditions people to be 'politically correct' and 'acceptable' with everything they say, do, or allude to imagine the effect this will have on the younger generation.. seriously i'm not kidding, really think about it anyone who thinks outside the box will be utterly destroyed by all the carbon-copies walking around no one will be able to take a stand or raise a fist or defy the iron-clad social norms they grew up in when u are on facebook, are you writing exactly what u want to say or are you subconsciously editing it since you know 300 people will see it? the 'conditioning' bothers me.. if you're so used to appealing to the mass, will you ever be able to put your foot down? or say 'no' ? or be the odd man out? u can say what u want on facebook but u will likely be lambasted if you say something that is out of the current worldly viewpoint so for me, overall i personally just think the setup of facebook does more harm than good and sometimes, i still miss the 1998 days of the internetz one question i find to be very annoying and worthless is if a girl asks me "what is your intent?" or "what is your plan for me?" early on in a courtship.. like prior to a date or after one date
its just too early for those questions, and anyway.. if i was a bad person, do u think i would TELL you that? like what is even the point of asking.. why not just let us grow together, why not just wait and see, why not try to see if my actions line up with my words? why would u ask me what "Z" is when we are not even on "B" yet? it is just the dumbest thing ever to me i don't even see how the answer could ever be anything other than "i want to get to know u and see how things go between us" seriously think about it.. what else would the answer when u two are still just 'talking'? "what is your intent?" like seriously what do girls expect a guy to say? if he wants to bang you and delete you out of his phone forever.. then HE IS NOT GOING TO SAY IT TO YOU the insecure females ask you questions like this over and over again.. so ur like: "i want to get to know u, because u seem like a cool girl" then 3 days later she says "we need to talk" and asks you again with an air of seriousness.. what is the point of these questions? we are OBVIOUSLY seeing where things go.. if u are still very early in a courtship and u start with these annoying questions.. here is what the guy will hear: "are you going to play me?" "if you want to play me then please tell me right now" "i have been played before and i don't want it to happen again" "i am an idiot" "i am annoying and can't go with the flow" "i will make you pay for what has happened to me in the past" "i want to know if you want to marry me" "i want a sure thing" "i am unwilling to spend time getting to know you without the belief that you are a sure thing" "if you say you won't leave me today, then i can be rightfully angry with you if you ever leave me in the future, because after all- that would make you a liar" "future disinterest in me is punishable by guilt trips" "i am crazy and won't get a man" the fact is, early on he is just testing the connection you two have.. asking too many questions ruins the whole process of courtship if you ask these questions then u are playing yourself because u are already nagging, you are already annoying.. you are already insecure.. without there being a proper history or commitment to back up your concerns- then all of this is irrational nonsense.. and the guy will avoid you or lose it and tell you to your face how dumb you are this is what i recommend doing as an alternative to what will be perceived as nagging: instead of asking him his intentions early on.. just ask him something like this: "do u think you ever want to be married?" then ask him why.. this way its not offensive or needy sounding.. instead its just a general question about what he is or is not open to.. not necessarily with you, but with anyone the 'yes' or the 'no' should serve as a basic green light or red light for you then later on in the relationship after you have spent some time and you have some history and stuff, and he OWES you an explanation, then feel free to ask him where he sees you two going if his answer devalues you then LEAVE immediately.. if you stay around it will continue.. however if you leave then there is a good chance he will re-evaluate his actions and ways and ask for a commitment one big problem i have with people today/ modern day society/ the way people think is this:
people are arrogant and they don't even know it why do i say they are arrogant? there is a general belief that we are the smartest and best we've ever been in history we are essentially like a society of grandchildren who think they know more than their grandparents people generally just have this belief that we are smarter and better than people 100 yrs ago.. 200 yrs ago.. 500 yrs ago.. 1,000 yrs ago.. etc. the problem with this belief is that many things people came up with in the past.. "theories, approaches, knowledge, wisdom, outlooks, etc" are seen as not having any value if they don't add up to popular consensus of today one day where this became very apparent to me was when i was in theater class and they talked about how a long long time ago when acting and theater was still fairly new- the governing people made rules about what you could portray in a entertainment medium they were saying no play should lessen the moral values of its audience, and certain immoral things should not be insinuated everyone in the class was like "why were they so repressed?" "they were so ridiculous back then" blah blah blah i felt like i was the only one who understood where they were coming from.. they knew the power art and entertainment can have on a person's outlook and moral values.. as a result, they tried to uphold good moral values in all art and entertainment everyone in class saw it as oppression but to me it was a positive principle.. in general, people normally miss the principles and the deep knowledge behind why certain rules exist.. in other words- they lack understanding no one in class asked "what did they know about music that we don't know?" "what did they know about human nature that we aren't examining?" the sad fact is.. they knew more than us, and not only that- they cared more too.. they wanted people to be moral citizens.. today we laugh everything off or 'ok' everything one day i heard a quote where a person said: "every generation thinks they invented sex" and that's kinda how people are today in a nutshell.. they don't stop to think.. wait a minute.. those before me knew some things too because of brutish history stories and technological advances, people think "we are the most intelligent generation" technology is technology.. what about wisdom? what about knowing what is important, knowing what to focus on, knowing what to- and not to do, knowing how to navigate life successfully i would actually argue that in general we are a lot dumber than many generations before us in some ways BECAUSE of technology.. for example.. YES we have access to more knowledge than those before us due to the internet, however why would a person read an important book online when they can watch porn instead? my point is that we are oftentimes distracted because of what we have as opposed to strengthened by it anyway lets stop with the arrogance.. lets please realize that those before us knew a lot that we may have completely forgotten haven't you ever heard of a "lost art" ? think about it.. there is a lot of knowledge that was once commonplace that we no longer even THINK about! lost arts, lost techniques, lost ways of life, lost outlooks, the list goes on if we humble ourselves and hear out the people before us, (through books, customs, culture, beliefs, morals) we can actually BE the smartest, most intelligent, and wisest generation.. not just the most prideful.. lets change or bring on the downward spiral for the record, sometimes i am s.a.d.
not goen to get deep into why.. but this sounds familiar this woman who works here on campus is really really pretty to me
she is sooo pretty i wish i could show u guys a picture of her i think she is married.. she is like umm.. 37 she has blonde hair and she wears glasses and looks like a complete nerd she dresses nice she has curvy/feminine body i feel bad saying this stuff cuz i think its some guy's wife but i'm not like.. staring at her or anything.. its just that i see her like every other day and i am just amazed at how pretty she is she is pretty to a point where its like i want to know more about her her beauty is exceptional.. like her facial expressions and everything are all just perfect to me i told someone that i think she is gorgeous and i'm pretty sure they are going to tell her what i said i wonder if she'll take it as a compliment or just think i'm a weird creeper lol she's the type of woman i'd love to talk to.. every time i see her i think to myself "i need a chick like her" i wonder what she's like but obviously.. this whole blog is all whatever.. just me thinking outloud here's some health stuff i want to put here on the site there's a documentary that came out in 2010 called 'fat sick and nearly dead' i just downloaded it.. i'm about 1/3 of the way through.. its really good so far basically, its about a middle-aged guy who found himself fat sick and nearly dead he tried a lot of fangled scheme type things and finally decided on a simpler way to get his health back this documentary is good and inspiring so if ur interested in losing serious weight and feeling better then peep it out the video below is just a sort of testimonial about the documentary.. so if ur interested, then peep the actual doc and download it buy it or torrent it.. i recommend it |
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December 2012
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