one question i find to be very annoying and worthless is if a girl asks me "what is your intent?" or "what is your plan for me?" early on in a courtship.. like prior to a date or after one date
its just too early for those questions, and anyway.. if i was a bad person, do u think i would TELL you that? like what is even the point of asking.. why not just let us grow together, why not just wait and see, why not try to see if my actions line up with my words? why would u ask me what "Z" is when we are not even on "B" yet? it is just the dumbest thing ever to me i don't even see how the answer could ever be anything other than "i want to get to know u and see how things go between us" seriously think about it.. what else would the answer when u two are still just 'talking'? "what is your intent?" like seriously what do girls expect a guy to say? if he wants to bang you and delete you out of his phone forever.. then HE IS NOT GOING TO SAY IT TO YOU the insecure females ask you questions like this over and over again.. so ur like: "i want to get to know u, because u seem like a cool girl" then 3 days later she says "we need to talk" and asks you again with an air of seriousness.. what is the point of these questions? we are OBVIOUSLY seeing where things go.. if u are still very early in a courtship and u start with these annoying questions.. here is what the guy will hear: "are you going to play me?" "if you want to play me then please tell me right now" "i have been played before and i don't want it to happen again" "i am an idiot" "i am annoying and can't go with the flow" "i will make you pay for what has happened to me in the past" "i want to know if you want to marry me" "i want a sure thing" "i am unwilling to spend time getting to know you without the belief that you are a sure thing" "if you say you won't leave me today, then i can be rightfully angry with you if you ever leave me in the future, because after all- that would make you a liar" "future disinterest in me is punishable by guilt trips" "i am crazy and won't get a man" the fact is, early on he is just testing the connection you two have.. asking too many questions ruins the whole process of courtship if you ask these questions then u are playing yourself because u are already nagging, you are already annoying.. you are already insecure.. without there being a proper history or commitment to back up your concerns- then all of this is irrational nonsense.. and the guy will avoid you or lose it and tell you to your face how dumb you are this is what i recommend doing as an alternative to what will be perceived as nagging: instead of asking him his intentions early on.. just ask him something like this: "do u think you ever want to be married?" then ask him why.. this way its not offensive or needy sounding.. instead its just a general question about what he is or is not open to.. not necessarily with you, but with anyone the 'yes' or the 'no' should serve as a basic green light or red light for you then later on in the relationship after you have spent some time and you have some history and stuff, and he OWES you an explanation, then feel free to ask him where he sees you two going if his answer devalues you then LEAVE immediately.. if you stay around it will continue.. however if you leave then there is a good chance he will re-evaluate his actions and ways and ask for a commitment
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December 2012
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