every yr i do a "song of the year" entry
the song doesn't have to come out that yr.. it just has to be something i
heard for the first time that yr
here's a recap:
2008: wired all wrong's "15 minutes"
2009: soulja boy's "swag-flu"
2010: charles hamilton's "cosmic library zone"
2011: melvin burch's "don't act like i didn't tell you"
i don't have my song of the year for 2012 yet, but i want to write down a few runner ups
dave matthews band: "dreams of our fathers"
kenny loggins: "i'm free (heaven helps the man)"
part 2 of this blog will have any other songs i want to add to this list as well as the actual winner
TO BE CONTINUED...
i think family is very overrated in a lot of ways
i think family is good in that they help you get a leg up in life.. there is a sense of loyalty there
however i have always wrestled with certain issues that go unaddressed in the family unit
the main problems with family are as follows:
1. they think they can say anything to you
"you're fat" "your spouse is ugly" "why did you spend money on that?"
the sh*t is completely disrespectful and i don't care who you are, skip me with the negative talk.. i understand a criticism or well-placed question here and there.. but the "you need to do this" type attitude is just nonsense
2. they doubt you
i've noticed family doesn't believe you've done something great until you're being recognized by thousands of people.. like accepting a grammy award or something
you could run in a burning building and save a baby and they'd still treat you like that goofy 6-yr old child they remember you being... TWENTY YEARS AGO
3. their advice is dumb as F*CK
they will say something that makes absolutely no sense and that will be their advice to you
they will say something that is just an old saying- and that will be their contribution to your life.. that is the "wisdom" they have to offer you
like say if ur a black male like me and you asked one of your cousins if you should marry a white girl you're in love with.. they might say some dumbass bullsh*t like "well you know, the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice"
i now refuse to believe i'm related to you you f*cking halfwit
4. family expects you to do things you don't want to do "because you're family"
you could say "i don't like to babysit" 10,000 times in 10,000 different ways but they will still not only ask you to do it.. but also EXPECT you to do it
look at the bright side.. you just won an all expense paid ride on the guilt trip express
5. family questions your decisions
like you could say "i want a sky blue jaguar one day"
they say something like "you don't want a jag boy you just talking" or "shutup you want a toyota"
no, dumbass, thats not funny.. stop trying to undermine what i say.
i think the list could go on .. but those r some of the main things that pop out at me right now
i somewhat respect the family bond, but at the same time i REALLY don't..
i don't agree with you just "because we're family" I HAVE A MIND OF MY OWN
and on top of that.. go back to genesis.. a man leaves his mother and father and cleaves to his wife.. so the whole family bond thing has a time then it ends at a certain point and i no longer owe you SH*T
so sometimes i just feel like family needs to keep their opinions to themselves.. they overstep their boundaries too much.. thinking they can still influence your life .. but God gave me my own mind for a reason
if you look in the Bible, Jesus was only really doubted by his family and the people he grew up with
so when they asked him his thoughts on family, he said "my family consists of those who do the will of my father (God)"
i agree with Christ.. i would rather be around people who live good, pure, Christian lives, than be around family.. not throwing my family under the bus.. but i'm saying at the end of the day.. good, pure, Christ-following people who love, and give, and do God's will- make a ton more sense than family
family to me is just overrated
think about it.. in what scenario in life would you ever walk up to an old guy who's playing the spoons and engage with him and have a full-on conversation?
only at a family reunion
a few years ago i watched the movie "final fantasy: advent children"
everyone who knows me knows that i don't generally like movies.. however i actually BOUGHT this movie after watching it.. to this day it is the only movie i own
well on the surface it was a movie with some cool graphics and tripped out fighting scenes
below the surface it was a story of redemption
have you ever failed at something in life?
if you are truly remorseful all you want from God is another chance.. but maybe God knows you can't handle another chance and takes all your opportunities for redemption away from you
this is devastating
i look back over some things in my life and realize in some areas i've never had a chance to redeem myself or do better or prove my new maturity or live down a stupid decision
it really hurts.. and this is the main problem with being an adult.. your decisions REALLY affect your life.. not superficially, but in serious ways for years and years to come
i look at myself today and i say to myself.. i can't take some of my bad decisions back.. i truly messed up some great things.. but i still want another chance at success, i genuinely feel like i've become a better person and i want to prove it and i want to live down my past ignorance.. i want the beginning that comes after the end
will God grant me this wish?
will God have mercy on me and allow me to grasp and enjoy some of the things i desire?
i know MY part in the situation is to have faith, find out what that means to me and ACT on that faith
the rest is up to the Lord
but i know He hasn't forgotten about me.
*turns on advent children*
i just want to get this off my chest
lately my face has been irritating me and i haven't been able to figure out why
well i just figured it out
when i get my hair cut- they cut off a certain section of my facial hair that is necessary to shape my face correctly
it has been annoying me for a while now and i finally get what is going on
i would explain it in full detail however i don't know how to explain it without showing you with a picture of some sort
all i know is.. i am glad i finally figured out what is bothering me so much
for a long while there i was like... "seriously, why is my face so weird looking!?" and i just never could figure out the problem
it was kinda stressing me out
but now i see they are just cutting my hair in a way that makes me look like an ass-clown
i will either have to start cutting my hair myself or just tell them straight up: DO NOT CUT THAT SECTION OF MY FACIAL HAIR OFF
i am the type of guy who loves/needs/wants all of his facial hair.. not just a segment of it.. don't pick and choose which parts u want to keep on my face.. just keep it all.. all i need these barbers to do is edge me up.. i don't need them shaping me in weird ways and doing all this stylistic crap because that sh*t looks gay as fck to me
whatever tho.. like i said, i just had to get that off my chest
i think jojo simmons is the worst rapper alive
i mean.. this is absolutely horrendous on so many levels that it boggles my mind
and i'm not hating, i'm being serious.. this material is flat-out garbage.. i give credit where its due.. i have listened to every rapper from k-fed to soulja boy to slug to aesop rock and beyond
but jojo simmons makes chingy look like immortal technique
this is a disgrace to revrun
one thing i have a hard time getting over personally is the fact that this dude grew up with a studio in his house!
you grew up with a studio in your house and this is what you make? LMAO !
nothing is worse than this. seriously.. i really mean that.. this is just straight 100% garbage.. there's no redeeming aspect at all on any level.. not an image, not a dance, not a clothing style, not a metaphor, not an outlook, not a groove.. NOTHING.
whoever is reading this.. please understand, this is not a diss.. its more like an intervention.. jojo.. i'm not saying u shouldn't rap.. but i'm telling you.. this song is garbage man.. seriously.. you should be ashamed of yourself man.. no joke i'm just being real with you man to man, rapper to rapper
i just realized the first day of fall 2012 = September 22
i just realized today is September 24th.
death by a million papercuts....
tired of people saying they wanna hear my new song then 3 weeks later they tell me they still haven't listened to it
tired of people only calling me when they want a favor
tired of people telling me they're busy when they're not- just so they can not have to talk to me
tired of people assuming i have nothing to do with my time
tired of being single
tired of always hearing bad news (economy/politics/future/ etc)
tired of people questioning if i know what i'm talking about
tired of pretty girls wanting my attention but not ME
tired of hearing all this pro-gay propaganda
tired of video games still having long loading times
tired of never being congratulated or spoken highly of
tired of people saying what i need to do
tired of fake friends who talk about me behind my back and periodically come into my life only to spy on me.. as if i don't notice it
tired of this intangible pain in my chest
tired of not being done with college
tired of no one asking me how my day has been
i didn't even list everything cuz i can't bare to think about it anymore
i'm just plain tired.. i don't know what to do anymore
i really feel low
i don't have all of these, but a lot of them
i don't think i'm crazy or anything.. i just think i'm dealing with/coming to terms with certain realities and they are not exactly positive