one day not too long ago i was talking to a girl and she said she was sleeping on the couch in her apartment instead of the bed
i asked her why and she said she had just moved in, but she realized she will be moving again soon to a different building so she said she wanted everything in the room to be brand new for the person who would move in after she left.. so instead of getting comfortable, she tried to leave everything untouched and refused to even take her bed out of the plastic i thought wow, what a nice girl i realized though.. i do the same thing with females.. i don't want a guy to have to unwrap a used girl on his wedding night so i don't go out screwing chicks or taking virginities away or anything as a guy, i know no guy wants to know i banged the girl he wants to marry, so i try to chill and not unwrap another man's gift but the fact is most people don't even care.. madd people just don't even take this stuff into consideration.. they don't have the same integrity of the girl who refused to take the plastic off her bed.. they don't have that kind of love for their fellow man they don't have that integrity that says: "i'm not going to violate you.. in fact- somehow if we ever split up i'm going to try and leave u better than how i found you" madd guys just don't care that they leave a trail of emotionally damaged women but i'm like that girl who was sleeping on the couch, cuz i care i'm gnna keep things in the same or BETTER condition than how i found them.. even tho i've been wronged in this area i've dated girls who've had one-night stands, vacation flings, and even girls who have been raped why didn't these previous guys think of 'the next guy' ? if you don't plan on marrying her then there will indeed be a 'next guy' think about how 'the next guy' is affected by your actions.. see, there have been situations where maybe i would've wanted to marry someone but i can't based on some sexual issue.. such as: i think she is a hoe and i don't trust her or she has a kid by another man now or she has an std or she has too much emotional baggage now those^ are mere scenarios but i actually have a real life example that happened to me i liked one girl and i was talking to her and she appeared to like me also.. we were hitting it off great but guess what? she turned up pregnant while i was trying to talk to her! smh i actually liked her a lot! now ask me if she's married to the guy who got her pregnant. james, is she married to the guy who got her pregnant? NO. james, is she married AT ALL!? NO. and my point is.. maybe if someone had tried to preserve her 'newness' (back to the mattress analogy a bit) at some point, then maybe she would've ended up as my wife.. but instead she's some guy's baby mama, because no one thought about 'the next guy' so my point is: props to the people like that girl who preserve that 'newness' for other people to enjoy i hope God honors this type of integrity i would say it is rare today. BTW i am not trying to say i have a lot of integrity because i will download your album instead of buy it any day of the week lol.. i just wanted to put out some thoughts on being responsible and preserving sexual purity because no one talks about this anymore people who try to uphold these things are laughed at in this society and sex is like shaking hands for some people but my view is a great deal of this peer pressuring, guilt-tripping, and seducing people into sex needs to stop because a lot of it comes from a very selfish place.. you just want to use a girl (not just females tho) and then throw her back in the sea.. that's effed up, bro cuz u know nggas don't want to marry mrs. leftovers
0 Comments
one thing i haven't talked about much is the issue of debt
for me this is in the form of student loans i am not a very money oriented person in general.. for me.. money is just something u want to have but a lot of things are more important than money (such as your relationship with God) and also i think if you have what u want then the rest tends to be a mere greed or 'keeping up with the joneses' for example: you have a car but now u want a nicer car.. you have a house but now u want a bigger house.. God gave you a nose but now u want a different nose.. a lot of these things are unnecessary.. a lot of people can't see when to "stop" u know what i mean? but still i will admit money is important enough to be something to think about i personally have a plan for getting out of my student loan debt.. this idea came from a blog i saw online one day some chick was talking about how she graduated and realized she had a lot of debt she just basically took drastic measures to pay her debt off she sold everything she had, moved out of her apartment so she wouldn't have to pay rent, she got 2 full-time jobs, she got a gym membership and just worked all the time, only stopping to sleep in her car the gym membership is what she used so she had access to showers she had NO down time or anything.. but the thing was she paid her debt off in a matter of months.. in 'normal' circumstances it would've taken her like 30 years or something absurd like that its amazing the power of the written word because the ideas expressed in that blog have never left my head ever since i read it years ago i plan to do the same thing she did when the time comes i'm not afraid of it or anything.. with me being single and not having kids, it doesn't seem risky, it just seems smart.. like its just an opportunity to wipe the slate clean on my life once i graduate btw, this method is also biblical since the bible says this: "if you have come into your neighbor's power (aka if you are in debt to a person or company) do this my child: give your eyes no sleep and your eyelids no slumber, save yourself like a gazelle from the hunter" proverbs 6:1-5 ^note that was paraphrased and possibly even taken out of exact context but i tend to believe some things in the Bible can apply to a multitude of situations.. and i see this as saying: if you find yourself in debt, drop everything and free yourself.. vigorously work to free yourself from your debtors so this is my plan basically... to just sacrifice everything in order to put myself in a better situation btw.. if anyone wants to find that old blog.. i am pretty sure i can find it again.. if u want me to find it and give u the link let me know.. her story was very impactful when u see this picture, it looks racist doesn't it? a point i want to make about this is that black people can see this looks racist but this type of stuff normally happens with the shoe on the other foot and black people are the ones being degraded or made fun of and what do a lot of white people say to us when we point it out? "its not racist" "you're overreacting" "its no big deal" "you make everything look racist" oh do we? how does it feel to see a picture like this and have me tell u: "its nothing" "you're delusional if you think there is a hint of racism involved in this" "its just kids playing a fun game" its not cool or fun or nice is it? NO. so if u are white and u do this to us, maybe now u understand what black people deal with all the time. and its not even just the whole.. "people not understanding" thing.. its also just the basic minority thing you walk into a place and maybe no one says anything negative to you.. but you still aren't really welcomed or acknowledged at all... doesn't look fun does it? - just some words on being black and race relations - in this entry i want to talk about the things i hate about black people
this is obviously not all black people but whatever.. also.. DO NOT call me an uncle tom or whatever.. i am just speaking my mind.. i am black too obviously.. i just want to speak on race today a bit 1. they like it hot they always want to turn the heat up or turn the a/c off.. this is annoying .. put on a sweater, blackie 2. always saying the n-word i might say it here and there in a funny/humorous way.. but what irks me is how some black people say it all the time and they seriously talk like that.. like they really just keep saying it.. or like in rap music u hear it 50 times per song black rappers really tend to suck bad.. "ngga i like to smoke weed" "ngga i like to fck" "ngga, i'm hangin wit mah nggas, ngga" lately i've been listening to some hindu rappers and they're great imo.. bitch hoe and the n-word are like not even used.. and they have actual creative beats that don't all sound the same 3. bad attitudes i have noticed a lot of black people tend to have this attitude where its like: "i'm gnna hurt you before you hurt me" i understand sometimes as black people we deal with too much b.s. but we have to be responsible not to spread it btw "bad attitudes" kinda encompasses these three things as well: -black females being stuck up and 'too good' for the average black man -black males feeling the need to exude "power" to the point of it being unnecessary and ridiculous -black people being too confrontational (and yes, "too" is subjective, but u get what i'm saying) christina aguilera post-pregnancy is gorgeous i want to shake her baby's hand for what he did to her body ^FLAWLESS VICTORY^
i want to talk a little about escaping high school
when i was younger i skipped school a few times i thought high school was just unbearable sometimes all the noise, the overcrowded hallways, the worthless lessons that are nothing more than busywork, the lack of anything actually fun i used to wonder why all the clubs were so stupid.. ultimate frisbee club.. golf club.. debate team.. i used to go home everyday and make beats so i never understood why there wasn't a music club, or a video game club, or anything that was like something normal people liked i remember i took a movie class just because i wanted a class with no homework and we didn't have homework but the movies were REALLY bad.. i mean it was all musicals, and i was unable to stay awake to watch any of them.. you'd have to be a girl or a gay man to actually want to watch west side story or cabaret with liza minelli i always thought to myself "why doesn't school ever have something i like?" its like if you turn on the tv and flip channels, you think you'd eventually find something decent to watch.. but what if you never found anything you liked? that's how school was to me.. like i never felt like i fit anywhere.. i never saw the point of being in the student government thing promising things you have no power to achieve.. i never saw a point in doing sports because they amount to nothing and they're taken so seriously in our society that they're not even fun to play so anyway.. sometimes i'd skip.. i remember one day i went to school (drove my pink car.. yes my car was pink smh) and i walked up to the door and before my hand hit the door i said to myself "i'm not up for this today" so i turned around hoping no one saw me and went back to my car and drove right back home lol the next day my girlfriend was like "where were you yesterday?" lol the main thing i used to do in high school though was i'd act like i was leaving for school, but then instead of leaving the house i'd sneak back upstairs and hide in my closet lol a lot of times i would actually have to move my car so my parents wouldn't see it on their way out those were some good times i never got caught and it just felt good to let school happen without me.. escape all the morons and just chill.. play video games, eat whatever, go wherever, do whatever.. scream.. that's another thing.. i generally have a lot of pent up emotion so i like to scream or listen to loud music or rap so sometimes i'd just scream and it would make me feel like.. more normal.. like i just loosened a tight belt buckle around my waist also for a while there i would take vicoprofen and go to school high on it.. they gave me WAY too many of those at the dentist when i had my wisdom teeth pulled.. i never even told my girlfriend about it.. i would just be in my own world walking around looking crazy and feeling great lol they basically just made you numb to bs.. they made u really happy inside and they also enhanced your senses and made you horny and touchy feely.. i think its a cousin to vicodin it was a great way to go awol on the system i ditched those after a while because i never wanted to be a junky but it was fun while it lasted anyway those are some of my words on my high school days hollaz |
pooL boi
we dewen it Archives
December 2012
|