Ok I’m ready to talk about all the reasons why I am giving up dating
this is an important entry imo if you're single and christian this is a must read first off... I have noticed my opinion of women has really taken a nosedive.. and for a long time I have blamed women for this but I’m about at a place where I blame dating instead The reason I blame dating now instead of women is because if you are dating then you are essentially looking for the right person which can be like a needle in a haystack.. you don't have the vantage point that the Lord has so you'll likely have to weed through a lot of crap.. seeking a needle in a haystack is inevitably going to be a frustrating endeavor i run into a lot of the wrong women and i end up getting frustrated- but lately i realize i need to take a different approach to finding the right woman I listened to a conan o’brien interview the other day and he said when he was young his dream job was to work as a writer on david letterman.. well he did everything he could to try and get that job and he made it really far, but he didn’t get the position as he was recalling all of this he said “if I would’ve gotten the position at letterman then I never would have the career I have now” (as a late night talk show host) So this is what I think is at play while dating.. we are going out with people hoping it works out, and we become upset or frustrated when it doesn’t.. but the whole reason it doesn’t work out oftentimes is because (like in the situation with conan) that’s not the best thing for us.. the failure is supposed to prompt you to try a diff avenue i know some of this may start sounding cliche but understand this is not me repeating anecdotes, this is something i've put some thought into So the question is.. what is the best thing for us? If you don’t fear God then go ahead and date and have all types of illicit sex while you’re at it.. however if you are a God-fearing person who is seeking marriage then you have to understand that chances are- the Lord wants to bring you to the right person for you.. and if this is the case then you might need to fall back and allow Him to do just that Let me give an example of what I mean A few years ago when I lived in Clarksville, I visited a church and when I walked in, some old guy apparently didn’t like my shirt and he made a comment saying someone should get me a button up (my shirt was a zip up).. I literally walked in the church for 5 seconds, heard that guy say that- then I walked right back out because it just seemed absurd, like.. what does my zip up shirt have to do with anything? is this a church where i can come to hear the Word, or is this some kind of vain clique-ish club? So some time later- when I moved back to Nashville and I was looking for a church, I thought about that and I said to myself.. ok I can go around and look for churches one by one and probably have more awkward experiences like that- or I can just pray and ask God to send me to the right church.. knowing how awkward it could be going to diff churches (especially considering how they treat newcomers) I decided to just pray and ask God to help me find the right church for me instead of looking Then after a while the Lord led me to the right church my point is that looking for a spouse should be done in the same way why go to one or two churches every sunday for like 4 months when you can just pray and ask the Lord to help you find the right one according to His will? going to the churches would be frustrating.. waste of gas, waste of time, incorrect teachings, clique-ish people, etc. etc. and that's what dating is to me right now.. its frustrating and it has caused me to hate women.. i realize i have been hitting my head on a brick wall, when i really need to just give it to the Lord you might be saying, wow james- why did you wise up so soon concerning church but not dating? i think its because i've always been more eager to find a woman than a church.. so when church became frustrating i was more willing to just let it go and give it to God.. but when it comes to dating, even though it became frustrating i was so eager to have a woman that i just kept trying and trying and getting more and more frustrated and disillusioned with the dating pool so i just wanted to say this i feel like this is going to lead me to a place where i no longer blame women for being "dumb" because the fact is if a woman is wrong for me then why am i upset we didn't work out? i am gaining tunnel vision.. realizing i was exposing myself to a lot of women but if God is a God of purpose then why am i doing that? what would be the purpose of dating 100 women, spending my time and money on women who are not worth it.. i should just ask the Lord to lead me to the right woman and keep it moving "be still and know that i am God" sometimes it is our job to be still remember God put adam to sleep before bringing eve.. when you are asleep you are being still i have to let it go so for the record i no longer blame women for my frustration.. i now blame dating itself.. in some cases we try to help God but in doing that we get in the way and harm ourselves in the process
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