on a song i did a few yrs ago called "5 minutes" (i called it that because the purpose was to write it quickly and see how it would come out) i said: "nonchalant is what i be on.. chill/ non-stop is how i keep-on.. real/ unbreakable, i won't shatter/ priorities? ignorin things that don't matter/ feel like i was born shy so i don't need spotlight/ overrated extroverts.. all hype/ what about the shy and the sensitive?/ yo i'm shoutin us out.. you feelin it?/ meek people.. taken for weak people/ common mistakes, you need power to perceive people/ i'm introverted but i'm fly too/ end of the day, i'm just not like you/" i wrote this song very quickly so i am surprised at how true it rings.. i am reminded of this verse a fair bit because i sometimes have this issue with women where they seem to think i am a weak person what is weakness? what exactly is a weak man? do you peeps think i am a weak person? i don't feel that i am.. i do believe i have emotions.. but weak? this is my opinion on the issue.. i feel that women these days try to act strong when they are really weak.. but i am the opposite.. i appear weak to people but i am strong.. (not trying to be arrogant by saying that, just let me finish) to give an example of what i mean when i say women try to act strong but inside they are weak- watch this video.. start it at 1:45 now.. that is not my only example, but it is a very clear example for you all this woman tries to act like she has everything 'in the pocket' so to speak but she cries at this juvenile yet humorous joke about her looks i see this a lot.. where women try to act like this "confident diva" or someone who "has it all together" but on the inside they are afraid and/or lonely and/or very self conscious and/or attention starved.. i see through the facade to what it really is at times- a deep need for external validation from someone or something, or just a fear of showing any vulnerability now.. one way i've seen this play out is when i am doing something with a girl and i ask her to do something and she says no but if i persist, she will do it.. i will ask her to do something and she will say: "NO, I REFUSE" then i will switch and i will TELL her to do it, and she will do it this has shown me that women put up a front to appear stone when they are really cotton so now let's take it back to myself.. again like i said i'm the opposite.. women act strong but are weak, but i appear weak but i'm strong.. what i mean by strong is like.. unaffected by a lot.. not petty.. can take rejection, fairly steady etc i often feel like women take my meekness for weakness they see me being polite and being humble and respectful but they seem to think this makes me weak or unable to stand up for myself this is just not the case.. the fact is i put all that stuff on the backburner because there is no point in addressing every single thing also because its like jay-z said "don't let me do it to you, because i overdo it" its like.. if i actually address disrespect i may get heavy-handed with it.. like there are so many times where i feel that women are disrespectful and i overlook it or ignore it and i try to just be cool and keep the peace but that doesn't mean i am weak or unable to address it lol.. i am giving you a chance to act right i am giving you an opportunity to correct yourSELF before i react i feel that women don't understand that.. they think, oh he is weak.. lol you will find out just how weak i am if you keep playing.. this is the same thing that happens when people think you're dumb.. its like they think their veiled insult went over your head.. IT DIDNT, I JUST DIDNT REACT.. the fact that it was veiled in the first place tells me you're not prepared to really go there with me sometimes i really feel like women want me to put them in their place but honestly i would rather treat you with a high regard, but what do i do if it doesn't get me anywhere? i am growing tired of women thinking humility, kindness, and being reserved are signs of weakness no- i am not an attention whore.. no i am not the loudest man in the room.. yes i can be found ducked off in the cut but no that does not mean i am not handling my business in life... and it also doesn't mean i am not PLANNING on handling my business in life (as various things may take time to come to fruition) do any of you men feel me on this? do u feel women are misreading you?
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December 2015
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