i have been trying to be more sensitive to what i think God is saying to me i think lately He has been telling me to try not to get involved in gossip for a long time i didn't know what gossip was, because to me- its like.. what is the difference between trying to find out what is going on and gossip? but i think He has been showing me that gossip is more like disparaging.. its one thing to find out what is going on, and another thing to sit and listen to- or participate in with disparaging comments or an all-out bash-fest on someone because look, even if a person deserves a bash-fest, part of the problem there appears to be that you haven't forgiven them in your heart "vengeance is mine says the Lord" so like i said- even in the event that someone truly deserves the the disparaging remarks.. its not for us to participate in, or even listen to another part of the problem is the power of words.. you can bless or curse another with the words of your mouth.. and we are definitely not called to curse people ++++++++++++++++++ i upgraded from yosemite on mac to el capitan el capitan is pretty good, i guess so far it seems a little more stable and has a few extra features ++++++++++++++++++ i kinda get tired of people wanting to decorate my house i mean wow talk about backseat drivers.. so many people have a suggestion for what i need to get and how i should get it.. it starts to feel like weird and insulting to an extent.. as if i can't possibly choose the right items or know where to shop or anything its such a joke.. people saying things like "you should hang pictures" or "you need a table" or "you can buy such and such on a payment plan" maybe i will, maybe i won't... but can i live? ++++++++++++++++++ this is really good creamer but real talk they need an oreo one as well
++++++++++++++++++ i dnt really like being around a lot of family.. there just always seems to be a problem or a drama involved i have grown to enjoy the single bachelor lifestyle where i have the ability to deal with crap or just go back into my own world i have a similar sentiment regarding women... i feel like i woke up recently and realized i don't have to chase them or figure them out through the power of self control i can just do what is best for me without being troubled by women's dang near asexual lack of interest ++++++++++++++++++ i watched this movie the other day on crackle called the bagheads.. it was really good.. it was about 4 friends who want to write a movie the movie was weird about what it wanted to be.. (comedy? suspense? a commentary on relationships?) but in an organic way.. it wasn't like forcing things in there.. i'd say mostly it was a character based comedy i really enjoyed it ++++++++++++++++++ i don't want to do anything today.. i am really just tired of doing things every day so i am probably going to skip church altogether yesterday (which was saturday) i helped move my sister's things for her new place i'm not like exhausted or anything, its just that i hate doing things 7 days a week.. i really do.. i will do it if i need to, but i would rather run errands on thursday and friday than bring them to the weekend i have been running around a lot and lately its like i haven't had time to just do nothing the thing about doing nothing is... essentially it has the same benefit as meditation during meditation you do nothing and that allows you to regroup and process and come to new thoughts/conclusions.. sort of like when your computer is acting up- the first thing you do is shut it down and a lot of times it reworks itself alone time doing nothing is the same sort of thing i really hate the thought of just doing stuff all the time.. i've hated it my whole life.. i even remember when i was little on saturdays my mom would make us clean up and on sundays we would have to go to church this made it so we had to do something every day.. there was never a "safe time" or a "leave me alone" time or a "this is off limits" time it was always "lets get this done" "lets do this" "lets get a head start on this" i mean i'd say a lot of the issues i had as a kid were based around that.. my parents would tell me to do something and i'd get mad then i'd get beat for saying something i shouldn't have said or for having some kind of attitude.. but looking back- i still feel my point of view was kinda rational i went to school 5 days, then on saturday i cleaned for half the day, then on sunday it was church.. there was just never a day to be left alone.. there was never a time where you had the right to say no there was never a time truly designated for r&r.. and i flat-out don't agree with that ++++++++++++++++++ my aunt gave me a waffle iron thing i'm bout to be goin ham in that kitchen brah ++++++++++++++++++ i want to talk a little about some of the "clubs" i feel like i am in ok i am a christian.. i don't think i am perfect but i feel like God is helping me to be better all the time.. christians are basically people who are supposed to stay away from sin and walk in love and believe the Word i am also still somewhat of a juggalo, even tho i don't really listen to icp anymore.. the short definition of a juggalo is an icp fan.. icp is insane clown posse.. a more specific definition of a juggalo is a person who treats everyone with respect without regard to class or race or appearance.. juggalos are not really cool with racists, greedy people, transvestites/gays, people who are stuck up, men who beat their wives, or any of those negative/perverted things i am also a mgtow.. mgtow is "men going their own way" ... mgtow is a culture that has risen up post feminism.. it consists of good men who can see the problems in our feminized society.. and these good men have decided to go their own way.. they are men who no longer are subject to the criticisms of the majority i used to say i was an mra which is a men's rights activist, but i prefer to be mgtow now.. because an mra sounds more like someone who is engaged in a fight or debate.. whereas mgtow chooses his path based on where he wants to be.. he can debate and fight however he will likely just find his best path for his life and pursue that without regard to outside factors mgtow has focus.. his focus is not to argue with feminists.. his focus is to set up the best life possible for himself.. i say "himself" as opposed to "his family" because mgtows know that women in a feminized society may or may not get on board.. they are too busy bashing men and swooning over adam levine to notice the good men around they are too busy criticizing good men for wearing spring colors in the fall, or for not opening their car door, or for whatever other arbitrary nonsense unwritten rule people have placed on us without our permission mgtows have realized largely that they are not at the mercy of women.. and this realization has given them new life and new vigor and a new perspective.. mgtows don't submit- they go their own way.. women can come...... or not
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December 2015
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