i want to talk about one thing i'm tired of
i am tired of this response i get when i say women like to be treated badly like the other day i saw a video on youtube and the title was something like "red flags women need to look for to avoid bad men" so i clicked it because i was saying in my head: "i bet i don't posess any of the red flags women need to look out for" well i watched the video from beginning to end and i was right.. everything she mentioned was something i was not doing so then i left a comment basically saying "i don't do any of this negative stuff, but the problem is no women appreciate it.... as a matter of fact, everything you mentioned in this video seems to be what women like" and i really meant that, everything she said was a red flag was actually what women seem to like and be drawn to.. women say they want good guys but they just overlook good guys and go for guys who have no type of morals or ethics so then she responded and she gave me the response i have been hearing for years "not all women are like that" I AM SO TIRED OF HEARING THIS AND OTHER VARIATIONS OF IT what does that have to do with reality? this is what that's like to me.. its like say i came up to you one day and i said "michigan is cold" and then you said "not everyday" ok you're technically correct but the reality is still MICHIGAN IS COLD so when i say "women say they want good guys but they only like thugs" just be honest about it.. stop trying to damage control it by saying "not all women" because 1 in 1,000 isn't really helping me now is it? like saying "not all" isn't a real response i could say "not all men have a penis" and still be correct.. so stop saying that crap to me! it is so patronizing and annoying at this point the bottom line is that most women are scumbags and liars and they are out acting like idiots.. they are aborting their babies and getting stds and turning down good men... meanwhile- they're wondering why some guy with 10 friends with benefits lined up in his phone hardly pays them any attention i am tired of women saying "not all women are like that" as if that means anything.. if YOU and ALL YOUR FRIENDS are like that then why are you saying to me "not all of us act that way" ????? how would you women feel if you said "i never meet any educated black men with their lives together" and every guy you came across said "that's not true, there's plenty of those" and everyone who said that was an uneducated black male in struggle mode? really how would that make u feel? wouldn't you get tired of the smoke screen? give it a rest!!!!! i'm over your imaginary women you try to dangle in front of my face! "don't give up james, there's one out there" "james don't give up on women yet! i know you've seen 1,000 skanks, but there's a good woman out there somewhere" "james keep trying.. some women appreciate gentlemen and don't take your efforts for granted" "james come on keep being a good man, all women aren't offering you leftovers after the basketball squad has had their fill" GIVE IT A REST I AM OVER YOUR CRAP.. SAVE IT FOR SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES YOUR RHETORIC! save it for someone who still believes good women exist in this climate because all of this jibberish i'm hearing is beginning to look a lot like gaslighting DONE.
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check out this comment i just ran across on youtube.. it's relevant to a lot of the things i talk about here on the site i was surprised that this happened to a woman.. when i say "this" i mean the whole "i'll live up to my role after we get married" thing
i've said on here before that that way of going about things is not right- but i didn't think a man would ever actually say something like that.. i imagine he was a narcissist (which isn't an excuse for his actions, i'm just saying) anyway, here was my response to her comment: the bible says men are to love their wives and women are to submit to their husbands.. with that said, my ex g/f tried to run that same game on me that ur ex husband ran on u when he was talking about “ill love u after we get married”... my ex g/f said “ill submit after we get married” smh.. that attitude is NOT of God and is definitely a red flag because when u are dating, courting, or engaged u should be showing that u can (and are willing to) give that person what they are supposed to get from you.. when a person is saying “ill act right later on” it means they have the wrong attitude because they aren’t seeking to give the advantage and that is what we are supposed to do in marriage.. anyway what i told my ex was “how can u say u will only submit after we are married? what if i said i will only love u after we’re married?” she of course changed the subject.. long story short i am not with her and i wanted her but i cant make a grown person act right.. im done with women who dont want to hold up their end of the deal i was thinking a little about how the bible says in the last days people will be lovers of themselves
we appear to be in the midst of that with the vanity we see.. the selfies.. people who are quick to throw others in the trash (aka delete them and block them and treat them like they don't exist), the frivolous divorces, the "relationships" where you agree to everything except patience and commitment, the way we treat our elders.. the way we go on social media and only show the good aspects of our lives etc so i was thinking about this and i was thinking about the "why's" behind it all i will try to speculate i think one big reason why this stuff happens is because of the breakdown of marriage, and lack of marriage which leads to the breakdown of family and lack of family the parents are not content without a spouse and they are out searching and finding more people to have sex with and they are getting hurt in the process... the children of these people are obviously neglected and grow up wanting more validation and attention and so they get it from fronting on the gram or from the opposite sex or whatever people today as a result of the things i have described are constantly feeding their own egos but they are actually less content than people 40, 50, 60 yrs ago for example a girl once told me "if i want attention i can post a picture online and get 300 comments" now that's fine and everything but she is in her mid 30s and single with no kids what i'm saying is.. we are oftentimes substituting true contentment for short bursts of attention/stimulation now when u think about true contentment- here's the thing.. it doesn't only come from receiving (love, time attention, gifts, accolades, etc) IT ALSO INCLUDES GIVING LOVE i think this is where we are missing it today we take and receive but we don't give and we wonder why we are not ultimately fulfilled.. but you cannot just receive and be fulfilled, if you are a vessel you must also give its like when you put in a hard day of work- you feel a sense of fulfillment.. when you go hard at the gym- you have given of your self and you feel fulfillment.. when you pour into others and act unselfishly.. you feel contentment.. we are missing this ingredient today you want sex without kids you want love without commitment you want blessings without God you want attention without friendship "i will let him take me out but i won't cook for him" "i'll smash her but i'll never marry her" this just seems to be what the climate is like today.. when will we remember that we have to give of ourselves for true contentment and fulfillment? anyway... i just wanted to speak a few words on the modern day social landscape here's a little story i don't think i ever told
this is just a thing that happened in my life when i was in high school i was dating a bubbly white girl named chrissy during this time, i used to sit next to a cute black girl on the busride to school... we used to sit next to each other like every day i don't remember her name but she was pretty, she was light skinned, she had a little brother, and she was the same religion as me at the time which was apostolic (i was raised apostolic however as an adult i just consider myself christian or non-denominational or whatever) apostolics are basically just christians, but they tend to be more strict her and i used to talk about whatever, and she was really cool and sweet and really nice to me... this girl actually could've been my girlfriend if i didn't already have one at the time.. well one day we got on the topic of sex.. i don't remember how we got on it- it might've been after prom or something so she asked me if i had sex with my girlfriend... i remember this girl was always single but i was always with chrissy the answer was of course no... but for some reason i wanted to say something other than that... i guess i was just being immature or maybe i wanted to see how she would react if i acted like i had sex so she kept asking me if i had sex with her and i kept telling her i didn't want to talk about it.. so finally at the end of the bus ride she came to the conclusion that i did have sex and i just let her believe that looking back this was just not a smart move for me she seemed disappointed almost to the point of anger the worst part was, she never spoke to me again after that i remember one day i saw her in the hallway and i was like hey what's up! yo! and she just walked into her class like she didn't even hear me or see me (sidenote: this was very hurtful and confusing to me at the time) then a little after i graduated i saw her at kroger one day and i was like hey lets exchange numbers.. she kinda just stood there.. i called her later and she never answered i think she was really disappointed in me.. she must've been thinking i had sex and thinking i was just some sort of scumbag who didn't hold onto his beliefs i guess she lost respect for me and it was just gone after that looking back though, i like her reaction on some level.. while i think she could've been a little more lenient (cuz i would have eventually told her i was just messing around) i still think she was somewhat justified in feeling let down... and looking back- it also shows me she had standards, which is something i respect one day if i get a chance to look in our old yearbook again i would like to look her up and see how she's doing have you ever noticed women always see other women as a victim?
no matter what a woman does, if you tell another woman she will automatically begin to make excuses for that woman or say something like "she's hurt" lol i mean it is to a point of absurdity like for example, one day i saw sherri shepard on the view crying about how she had 5 abortions and you have women like "aww she's so hurt" you don't get pity from me for that... i have never had sex, close your legs women are always obliged to let another woman slide by or cop a plea but if you ask me- this is why women are such scumbags today because no one holds them accountable for any of their actions no matter what a woman does the bleachers are going to cheer for her- its a total joke.. women have an endless supply of support and they have an infinite amount of victim cards to pull i remember when i was in high school some woman killed two of her kids and she blamed it on post partum depression and i remember i was like that's ridiculous and my teacher was defending her and saying "post partum is real" A LOT OF THINGS ARE REAL work stress being emasculated putting on weight lack of sleep being stuck in a rut being lonely being broke the list goes on, but guess what? if a guy kills his kids and blames any of his issues, no one is going to say "give him a break, he was going through a rough patch" what made me realize this whole thing was i was telling someone about something a girl did and they immediately said "well, she must be hurt" like how is that an ok response? like if i say "this girl did something unnecessarily vindictive that hurt me to my very core" and the person says "stop being bitter, she must've been dealing with hurt" like on one hand its totally laughable but on the other hand its not funny at all, because i am demonized for voicing a situation but the person who actually caused me deep pain is totally let off the hook its just utterly ridiculous women LITERALLY get away with murder in this society!!!!!!!! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS STUFF? i mean a woman can just cuss you out and totally bash you and people will tell you as a man "man up" or "oh you can't take it? you're weak" how is this ok to people? women should not be above the law or even above basic couth conduct anyway.. we have to stop giving women these unlimited victim cards because women have no accountability anymore no wonder there is no wife material for us men out here anymore we really have to put our foot down and if i have to be the only one to speak out and speak honestly, then so be it i've noticed in life that as a male if you say something it is oftentimes interpreted in a way like..... like as if you are whining or being annoying, or complaining or you are beating a dead horse or focusing on the wrong things or being a hypocrite
i run into these types of things a lot where i feel like things i say are not heard as statements, they are more received as ammo to use against me like if i say to someone "i had a bad date" they don't hear "james had a bad date, let's talk about dating and share experiences" instead they hear "james is annoying and he's trying to make me pity him" but believe it or not, i figured it out..... this sums it up: if you aren't a player in the game then you are a critic of the players so what i've noticed is i actually share my life and experiences with people- however they don't do the same.. like i will text someone and say "hey this happened today lol" and they will just read what i said and instead of share something about their own day or their own experience, they would rather critique whatever i shared what ends up happening is that person thinks they are above me because i am open and i share my highs and lows but they are cagey and will not share and so since i am the only one who is open and honest- i get criticized by the one who isn't they sit back and say "james had a bad day today because he had an issue with such and such... i'd never have an issue like that" and they sit back on their high horse like they are perfect i also feel that in general, people are not really interested in hearing what you have to say so they are likely to find a way to bite you or sting you for sharing let me give a quick example of what i mean imagine a rich celebrity shares a dirty joke with a woman... u can see her laughing right? now imagine a homeless man sharing that same joke with a woman... she is likely to attempt to socially punish him for telling the joke that's what i mean- some people may just look at you and think you are not worth hearing from, no matter what you have to say so we as men must be selective about who we share things with because many will just try to use whatever u say to criticize you or bring you down because again.. you're either a player or a critic I had to post this because it was so real i like rebecca lynn pope's material, its great to have a woman who is able to speak for men and keep it real with women
I think back to when I was a kid and sometimes I think about the discipline (beatings) I received and I feel that sometimes I deserved them and sometimes I didn’t
For example one time I got in trouble because we had balloons and we were putting the balloons in our clothes acting like we had a big stomach and diff things.. well I put a balloon in the front of my pants and I got in trouble for that Looking back the problem with that was I didn’t know anything about sex or erections at all.. I mean I want to say I was probably about 3 yrs old or 4 at the absolute latest.. Looking back I think this is part of why I had so much hatred growing up because I was being disciplined for things that I knew nothing about.. I feel like if I ever had a child I would try to explain things and if they still are defiant then I could discipline them My dad was really mean to me back then- he was like some huge unconquerable boss in a video game that would destroy you and then spit on your corpse I also think my dad never explained some important things to me in life for example I never knew there was an unforgivable sin until reading it in the bible one day in my 20s.. I’m not dissing him, maybe it never crossed his mind but I’m just saying I think if you’re going to teach your kids anything- teaching them about an unforgivable sin seems like it should be at the top of the list I deserved some discipline I got like one time my dad and my sister were playing and my dad hurt my sister and made her cry and I hit him for it.. so I definitely deserved to get beat for that But sometimes I was just being humiliated and embarrassed and beaten for like no reason.. like one time my dad came in from mowing the lawn and when u mow the lawn u smell like grass.. so I was “wow you stink!” this was not a diss, it was an observation that he had just come in from mowing the grass.. well he took off his belt and beat me right there in front of my friends.. I really feel that was like saying “f*ck you james you’re an idiot and I hate you” … saying “you stink” after mowing the grass is like saying “wow lol you have paint on your face” after you’ve been outside painting.. it wasn’t a personal attack it was an observation! My sister was not disciplined even half as much as me.. but what I’ve noticed is I had more of a conscience than her (at least in my opinion) .. so I guess with that said maybe all that discipline did me some good because I feel like the Lord has had mercy on me and not allowed me to go through a lot of unnecessary craziness.. He has shielded me from a lot of things that other people have not been shielded from Anyway.. I just felt like saying all of this.. I didn’t really have a point Aight peaCe this was brought to my attention a few minutes ago.. I am just posting it here to remind myself to read more into it.. I looked over it a little but I might be able to form a conclusion or two if I give it a little more time and thought
Dunning–Kruger effect |
James Arthurnew speak, true speak Archives
December 2017
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