this is how she spoke to me smh.. like with this contempt that i never understood.. why not just say "why do u think my day was good?" as opposed to trying to make me look like i'm an incompetent boyfriend
btw.. the reason i said her day was good was because i remember she had told me like 3 things that were good and one thing that was bad.. but i guess she was stuck on the one bad thing
Right now I’m at work.. I can’t seem to concentrate or think straight so maybe writing some of my thoughts out will help me to get to where I need to be
Ok basically here’s what I am feeling at the moment
Lately I am just tired
Lately I just go home after work and lay in bed.. I go home, look at youtube, and lay in bed
I don’t want to be bothered, I don’t want to do anything.. I don’t really have much energy or zeal or care
I feel like what is really the point of anything sometimes.. like I think about life and it feels like a waste of time or something
Like an annoying middle man between birth and heaven
I think about women and I think they are scumbags.. I have yet to see a beautiful woman who acts as beautiful as she looks
I think about God and I think God is great however I am not hearing His voice as loud and clear as I would like.. sometimes I wonder what exactly I am doing wrong to where I am not getting as much from Him as I’d like.. maybe I am just not spending enough time in prayer
I sometimes think God and women remain on my mind because I think they are both what I “work for” .. they are my essential motivators in life
So I guess ultimately what I’m saying is- if I don’t have a defined mission from the Lord and I also have no woman to do things for.. I feel like I suffer from somewhat of an identity crisis.. or like.. a lack of an overall goal or mission
Like if I’m not working for God or for a woman, then should I work for myself? Self in my opinion is not really a huge motivator.. I mean… ok let me explain… when I was in my last relationship.. I noticed that I had a newfound energy knowing I had a woman in my life.. however without that.. I find myself fairly unmotivated.. I guess as a man I feel like I need a task to accomplish to feel at peace but I don’t feel like I have one
Doing things for myself doesn’t really motivate me the same as doing something for God or for a woman
I don’t know what God wants me to do, I also don’t know if I’ll ever get a woman in my life who seems like she is worth sacrificing for
I am just in a weird place where I feel like I’m on my own.. like I’m thankful for everything I have and I’m thankful for where I am in life.. but I feel like I’m lost and needing a motivation, a plan, a thing to accomplish and/or commit to
I’ve been just staying at home alone and thinking.. I don’t know how to fix my issue.. it feels like its out of my control
Someone might say “james, just pray more” ok I think I’ll do that.. I think if I pray and believe then I will see results from the Lord.. so I will have to do that
Someone else might say “james, go find a woman” ..now that is something I will NOT do because this is again (to me) essentially another issue I will need God to handle….. why? Because I do not believe talking to women accomplishes anything since everytime you talk to a woman- it’s the wrong woman.. we have to ask God to lead us to wife material, otherwise we are just wasting time on stupid whores
As for people who would say “james, just be self motivated” …… I don’t know.. I guess on some level that makes sense but it also kinda makes me groan.. maybe my reaction means I am not a selfish person? Who knows
All I know is I want to pour into something, if not then I tend to feel disconnected
Anyway.. back to work.. u peeps take it easy
i have been thinking about women lately and the way they act
i feel that women are a little weird in that they seem to innately take kindness for weakness
how can you be nice to someone who takes kindness for weakness?
if a person takes kindness for weakness, they also by default take kindness for granted
is this women's way of saying "don't give me too much importance in your life" ?
is this why women also commonly mistake a man's interest as "thirstiness" ?
are women saying with their actions "don't hold me in high regard" ?
with their actions- women say: "don't be nice to me" "don't show interest in me" "if i act up leave me immediately" "don't be too available to me" (aka ignore me sometimes) "make me compete with other women" etc
to a man this sounds like a woman is saying "treat me like crap"
but to a woman this probably sounds like a "challenge" or "i can't control him so it turns me on"
despite the fact that i feel this is a backwards way of doing things- i figure why get upset when in reality, what turns women on is actually more beneficial to me because i can disrespect and disregard them and still get their best
i can literally get a woman's best through my own pure self interest
and this is also what we generally see.. women giving up their time, attention, affection, and bodies over to men for pump and dumps, no strings attached, and friends with benefits
while the men who want to take women on dates are given the run around
i was thinking about this also in the context of saved women vs unsaved women
do women who keep God first also want to be treated this way?
do true women of God take kindness for weakness? or is that primarily left to those who are still in the world?
i'd say saved women make FAR more sense than the unsaved ones
if u find a real and genuine christian woman u probably won't be confused by everything she does the same way you are with women in the world
and with a saved woman, i imagine selflessness would get you further than selfishness
but a genuine christian woman is (at least in my experience up to this point) EXTREMELY RARE
so i guess if you want a woman's time and attention the best way to get it is to just be selfish and........
well this song explains it
here is a message for you from indian jon b
real talk this is on point
Lately I’ve been thinking about the lenses I look through
Do I have righteous anger? Self-righteousness? Or do I envy sinners?
Like say one of your friends comes up to you and says “don’t tell anyone but I stole $20,000 from such and such and got away with it”
Do you greet that with righteous anger (upset because they have done wrong), self-righteousness (feeling like you're better than them), or do you envy their sin? (you're just upset because they got $20k and you didn’t)
This is something I’ve been really thinking about and I think sometimes I am guilty of being upset because I envy sin because I want the perceived “benefit” that I see other people enjoying
But in realizing this- it has…hmm…… have you ever heard the phrase “knowing is half the battle?”
I feel like realizing this alone has sort of fixed the problem.. just knowing this is something I do has fixed it.. because now when i envy sin then I know I’m in the wrong and I have to get my mind and heart back on track to seeing things correctly
Ok well I just wanted to speak on this.. anyone reading this- try to think about this too and check your motives
i want a girl who looks like this.. but who also has some wisdom and fear of the Lord.. is that really so much to ask?
i also want one of the newer imacs.. that 5k display.. and i could use the extra ram at this point
ok.. first i want to say that the information i am about to present is inspired and i believe it will help any single woman
when i say it will help any single woman, what i am saying is- it will help single women to differentiate between who is who in dating advice
if you are a single woman, please read what i am about to say
ok... now if you are a single woman and you look on youtube for any type of dating advice or relationship advice you may know about derrick jaxn or rebecca lynn pope... derrick jaxn is the more popular of the two as i write this
now.. the dilemma some women may have is.. they may see these people and they may wonder "which one of these people is correct?"
is derrick a man who appeals to women for selfish gain? or is he a man who tries to truly help women?
is rebecca a woman who tries to appeal to women? does she try to appeal to men? does she tell the truth? or is she in this for selfish gain?
these are the questions i would like to answer in this entry
derrick jaxn speaks a lot on relationships and so does rebecca lynn pope
in the video below, by a man named obsidian- he compares and contrasts one full message from each person to try and decipher who is who
listen to the video if you want.. but definitely continue reading what i am about to say below
ok here's what i want to say
the enemy always creates a counterfeit.. if the enemy didn't create a counterfeit of something good that God made, then he wouldn't be doing his job
even in the Bible days, when moses was doing miracles, remember- the sorcerers did "miracles" too.. so sometimes you see two people doing something except one is false
earlier today my sister saw rebecca lynn pope's video on women's high standards and my sister sent me a text saying "oh, derrick jaxn does this same type of content, except its for women"
in my view, that statement was very false though
the first thing that i wanted to say to her was.. no- derrick jaxn makes videos to appeal to women.. rebecca doesn't make videos to appeal to men.. she makes videos that tell the truth to women
there are three main things you can look at to see which of these people is telling you the truth and which one is telling you what you want to hear
rebecca clearly states in her video "i no longer match women so i don't need your money, i can tell you the truth"
derrick on the other hand makes money from youtube and from appearances and from selling t-shirts.. the more he is liked, the more he will sell
#2. Relationship status
derrick jaxn is not married and he is not with his child's mother
rebecca lynn pope however, is married
rebecca lynn pope speaks oftentimes from a Christian perspective
derrick speaks from a worldly standpoint that focuses more on whim and circumstance than on what God says about a person or situation
so there i have given three clear ways to see which of these people is genuine and which is misleading
i hope single women will get a chance to see what i have written and can make a decision on who is who
because like i said- based on the text i received earlier from my sister, i can see that many people may think "oh derrick is the male version of rebecca lynn pope" or "rebecca lynn pope is the female version of derrick jaxn"
but its not that simple
its not: "these are the same but for different genders"
its more like: "one of these is legit and one is misleading"
so there you have it.. rebecca lynn pope is the one who is genuine out of these two in my opinion
derrick jaxn does sometimes say some stuff that's on point.. but sometimes i have noticed he is just giving women more excuses to stay the same and not change or become better... he sometimes isn't giving real helpful information and is instead just giving women what they want to hear
and think about this... Jesus came to us and the Bible said there was nothing about his looks that would make a person desire him.. meaning he didn't have great handsomeness or stature
however lucifer was extremely handsome in form and stature
i'm not saying only ugly people are smart and only good looking people are liars.. i am just saying oftentimes the enemy makes something look appealing in order to deceive people
the Bible says the fruit on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil even looked good to eat... so when something looks good it can be used to decieve.. and i feel that derrick jaxn (being 6'5 and muscular) is sometimes lulling women into a false sense of security
"i don't need to change my attitude, i need a man who can handle me"
"i don't need to submit to my man"
"i am entitled to a hoe phase"
"i can leave my man and find another one who will treat me way better.. i don't need to put up with this"
derrick jaxn is sometimes an enabler to dysfunction.. again not all the time- because some of his videos are on point... but remember this.. the best way to hide a lie is between two truths
rebecca on the other hand tells women things about themselves and about men that can really help women to secure long lasting and loving relationships
its not pandering to men, its advice to women on how to get in place for a relationship
so... there you have it
rebecca isn't trying to appeal to you for your money because she's no longer matchmaking women.. she speaks from a Christian perspective as opposed to a worldly one.. and she is ACTUALLY MARRIED
so i hope this shows that these people are NOT two sides of the same coin
i believe one is real and one is a counterfeit
the enemy has been creating counterfeits for a very long time
don't be fooled
may God bless
here i was trying to give her advice and instead of her being like "yeah i feel what ur sayin" or "thanks babe" she told me why i should just keep my mouth shut
read this like: left, right, down.. left, right, down
i don't think i have the text where she spelled impart like in-part anymore lol... but anyway... i want u to imagine being in a relationship where everything you say is basically a debate waiting to happen
so many women are complete scumbags these days.. i mean what makes them think us men want to put up with this crap?
she was SO pretty to me but she was 100,000% WORTHLESS as a spouse
i tried and tried and i was very patient but she just didn't change at all.. YUCK
i'm so glad i'm not with her- but i am also glad i now understand how deep a woman's foolishness can really go
NEVER AGAIN will i subject myself to that nonsensical argumentative spirit
some of these women might as well just write "i'm crazy" on their forehead and call it a day.. just spare us men the trouble
i mean look at how difficult she was.. she treated me like i was her enemy at every step.. it was always ARGUE ARGUE ARGUE ARGUE
"let me try to one-up james" "let me try to tell james he's wrong" "let me refuse to agree with james" "let me act like an idiot even though he is trying his best in this relationship"
IT WAS AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!
i really have no idea what women think relationships are supposed to be like.. why don't they understand we need to cooperate instead of compete?
like how is that even a hard concept to grasp?
modern women are complete and utter scumbags
this is a picture of selena and the woman who murdered her.. this picture really stuck out to me
i think the reason it stuck out is because it is very telling.. when they say a picture is worth a thousand words.. this is the type of thing they were talking about
i think sometimes pictures show the true spirit of a person or the true nature of a person.. or sometimes it can show a relationship between multiple people.. it can show the totality of a situation in that one still frame
this picture truly seems to capture that.. u have selena looking happy and excited and seeming like the center of attention, and you have this other woman looking at her with a sort of disdain or critical eye.. perhaps made up of jealousy or inner hatred or suspicion when in reality selena should be the one who is suspicious
this is a little off topic, but have you noticed oftentimes the people who are suspicious of others are the ones who are the bad people? like take racism for example.. typically those who are suspicious of another race are the actual perpetrators of racism and violence
anyway.. you also have the fact that the woman who murdered her is behind her- signifying that she was following selena, figuratively and physically.. she always had her eye on selena for one reason or another
and selena is in front of her paying her no attention whatsoever.. she isn't a threat in her mind.. she prob isn't much more than a spec on selena's radar.. selena is just enjoying her life there
this picture also made me think about my own life
it made me think about how snakes do exist and in many ways my ex g/f opened my eyes to that fact.. she made me realize that many people just have deeply negative hearts.. whether they are violent people, or just prideful, or ungrateful, or void of empathy
many people won't change.. many people know how they act but they have too much pride to change their behavior.. no matter what you say or do- it will never matter.. many people are just snakes.. they have no conscience and no feelings... btw, if someone says to you "i don't get attached to people" (which my ex said to me) RUN.. because what they are really saying is "i am too selfish to really care about others
that selfishness could manifest itself one day and it won't be pretty
anyway, since its a picture and you can seemingly see intent in it- it also made me think about things we can see with the naked eye that we still overlook.. like body language... oftentimes snakes will show themselves with body language that you may miss if you're not looking for it
have you ever heard the phrase "that person is shifty" or "they gave you the side eye" ??
well.. my ex g/f had shifty eyes and would look forward but still look at me from the sides of her eyes at times.. primarily when she was in her vindictive moods.. this type of thing is super obvious when you're walking with a person somewhere
i'd say looking at someone in an indirect way is generally not a good signal and so it's something we should watch for
so anyway.. my point is- snakes do exist and usually there is a sign somewhere.. don't let their subtlety go under the radar... sniff them out and pray over the situation and/or get away from them
keep your eyes open and keep God first
you all may not remember but i did a video saying that women are acting like eve in the garden and now its getting to a place where men have to figure out if we are going to follow her in her folly
well i was right... here is a comment i just ran across on youtube
as you can see, he's saying "women are promiscuous whores and scumbags, so maybe i should just be a player and stop trying to have integrity as a man"
when women are out of place, then men are tempted to get out of place.. but like i said in my video- we have to be bigger than the eve's in our life.. we have to keep our head up and do what's right without regard to what our women are doing.. if our women throw themselves away, we can't join in.. we have to remain strong and just believe that the Lord will handle things.. the evil will not go unpunished and the righteous will not go unrewarded
so here's what i said to him
men we have to remain morally strong even though our women are useless argumentative whores
for anyone who didn't catch the video i did, its below... i just put one of my entries in a voice so i could upload it to youtube