i hesitate to write this right now because we still have some time left until fall arrives and a new season is upon us
however i'm going to go ahead and give the run down of this crazy summer let's start at the beginning of the year. I started the year off with no job, but i had money. my money started running out in march or so.. and i got a job in april once the newness of the job wore off then i started thinking about finding a place to live to get out of my parents house because every day they had a comment for everything.. they had a comment for how i spent my money, they had comments on how to find women, comments on my clothes, comments on everything.. just driving me completely insane.. making me second guess every single thing i do i know this is what your parents do but my thing is- if you see i'm doing my best, why not give it a rest? if i was sitting around watching tv then i'd understand.. but if you can see i'm getting on my feet, then why do i still have to hear the constant nagging and complaining? so anyway.. i started looking for places in about june.. i work in one of the rich sides of town though so i quickly realized that it is difficult to find a place to live near where i work that is affordable during the time i was looking- i ended up getting a pay increase.. you would think this is good (and it is) but one weird thing is i found that i don't qualify for low income housing now.. so there were a lot of nice low income places that i couldn't get in anymore.. we are talking like brand new places in decent locations so then i found myself looking at all the regular apartments which cost more than low income but oftentimes are worse... so in a desperate attempt to find a place to live, i signed a lease at an apartment i found.. and i realize now that it was a hasty attempt because i ended up hating it and it was in an area i didn't like i didn't think it was going to be so bad, but i only saw the model.. i never saw the actual apartment until i signed.. they kept telling me my actual apartment wasn't ready.. but i figured it wouldn't be way off from the model incorrect! so the main issue i had was it had holes in the floor.. i didn't understand how they got there or anything.. i felt like they totally swindled me because who would sign for a place with holes in the floor? no one! it was just such a low integrity thing to do that i pretty much immediately developed a disdain for not only my apartment, but that whole city area i was in some of the other issues in there were.. 30yrs of glossing over problems instead of fixing them.. everywhere i looked in my apartment i saw quick fixes.. like what is the point of putting a bandaid on a bullet-wound? imagine 30 years of bandaids.. yeah.. it wasn't too good.. then you just had triflin things like i had this light in the kitchen.. but it had like 50 dead bugs in it.. or the cabinets and floors were like peeling off at the ends.. the bathroom was just horrendous.. the ceiling in there was literally like 2 feet lower than the ceilings in the rooms.. so of course there was so much steam when you showered that it was like mold waiting to happen cuz the air wasn't flowy like if you had normal ceiling height there was even this air vent?? above the bathtub.. i don't know where that thing led to- it was like a tube jutting out of the ceiling for no reason.. and the tub was just gross the brown build up was just not kosher, brah also the carpet was just so old.. i mean it was OLD lol.. i feel like they probably never changed the carpet in 30 years.. it was just old brown carpet that was hideous and i felt like it was holding a stench.. also the apartment itself had a stench even without the carpet.. and the air conditioner blew out air that would make your throat hurt if you stayed in there for more than 8 hours... i have no idea how an apartment can let the air get that bad.. i mean that is just ridiculous... also the cabinets were a huge eyesore and....................... i think you get the idea.. it was just wack so i went to the office like two days after i moved in and told them to give me the form to break my lease.. the girl looked at me like i was crazy cuz she knew i had just moved in but i didn't care.. so then i had to give a 60 day notice and pay them $1300 on top of the remaining rent (oh and btw my deposit was nonrefundable) i accepted my fate. so each time i was getting paid after that, i was pretty much totally broke.. i was paying like 80 to 90% of my paychecks to the apartment as soon as i'd get paid keep in mind that during this time one of my tires blew out so i had to get a new set of tires plus an oil change also keep in mind that during this time, one day i had like $152 and i still had like 10 days left until i would get paid again.. i went out looking for apartments in a city i'd never been in and got a ticket for not stopping at a stop sign when i pulled out of the apartment i literally drove like 30 minutes to this place, walked in long enough for the woman to say "you don't qualify because you get paid too much" and as soon as i pulled out- there was a cop pulling me over.. like what was the point of that!? i wasn't familiar with the area at all, i wasn't paying attention to stop signs.. and there were no cars or people anywhere around me.. like that was literally my first time in that area of town! thanks for the souvenir i guess smh so i went to pay the ticket and literally she said it was $138 so i had like $14 to live on for like 10 days... so i just kept doing my thing and i so i got to a point where i was like giving up.. because i was like "i have been broke for madd long, i have no place to live, i keep having setbacks, etc" but one cool thing was during this time my pastor asked me if i needed prayer for anything and i told him one of the main things was i need a decent place to live and so he said he would add me to his prayer list.. i was like thanks man.. i legit appreciated that so again.. i sort of gave up trying to find a place because i was doing it a lot.. like i'd get up and look in the morning before work, or i'd spend my weekend looking (so i stopped having free time on weekends for pretty much the whole sumer) and when i was at home i'd be looking on the internet.. but it seemed like all bad news.. like one lady who was supposed to help me find a place with apartment selector told me that nashville (and surrounding areas overall) has the 7th highest rent in the nation.. and i kept hearing people say "its summer, its really hard to find a place in the summer because everyone moves then" oh btw.. the lady at apartment selector was sending me to some real dumps.. at first i didn't realize it, but after i ended up visiting one of the places she recommended for me and it was far beneath my price range and it literally smelled like feces in the hallway.. (it was a TOTAL AND COMPLETE DUMP) i stopped working with her.. because i felt like she was sending me to bad areas on purpose.. like if i tell you my price range is a million and you send me to a place that cost 200,000 then you are not doing your job, you are trying to fit me in where you think i should go.. so i figured it was discriminatory so she emailed me one day asking how she could help me further and i told her i'll just look for myself so during this time, i started thinking more about the pastor taking my prayer request and i started having faith that God would help me out.. i was just worn out and i was just thinking.. "hey maybe his prayers will work" it was just a thought i had and then i started to sort of believe it more.. i don't know why i started believing God would help me but i sort of switched from "must find place" to "God will help me" and then one day i had an idea to be continued....
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the new retro Archives
December 2014
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