i want to talk a little bit about the dichotomy of desire
here it is. bad things often come with good things good things often come with bad things it is up to you to deal with the bad that comes with the good of your desire i learned this on a personal level recently i will give an example that closely mirrors my experience ok as a man a lot of times you want to be depended upon.. you want to be there for a girl and make her life easier and better.. it makes you feel good like you're being a help or like you're inextricable or like you provide something very important to the situation/relationship well i've noticed one negative aspect of being a full-on hero and dependable person is a lot of times people begin to ask you to do things when you aren't in the mood or when its not convenient for you.. "take me here" "mow the lawn" "pay for this" blah blah blah... its the negative side to being the "rock" in the relationship or family.. on one hand you have the privilege of being there for people, you aren't left out of things, people trust you, you are respected and you can lead but the top leader is the top server so when it becomes overwhelming then what? what do you do when the payoff no longer feels like it is worth the effort? STOP. take a breath. try to remember what is important.. don't make any rash decisions.. think on the situation and pray.. be patient.. wait it out you will likely be tempted to go off on someone, have a bad attitude, cheat on your spouse, give silent treatment, or something else that will come off as negative and break the trust you've worked so hard to build calm down, ask God to help you through this trying time.. thank Him for the situation you're in because remember.. this is the dichotomy of desire YOU WANTED THIS a man wants to be the hero and wants to be depended upon, so when he is depended upon to the point of being stretched too thin, he should remember that this is overall GOOD.. it may be overwhelming right now, but imagine if no one wanted you around.. you will see sometimes that you have good problems or the problems of someone who is very blessed you have to try to be mature about the situation you asked for for example a lot of people say "i want to be in showbiz" but they don't realize they are also saying "i want to be judged by my looks" you see what i'm saying? you ask for more than you realize sometimes, so you have to try to handle it the best way possible once you get it.. realize it may take some adjustment some people say "i want to go back to school" but they don't realize they are also saying "i want to do boring homework on saturday nights" look at marriage.. many people have the desire to be married, have companionship, be right before God, be respected among peers etc.. they want those positives that come with marriage but what people don't realize is there is a negative side as well you have to make up your mind to meet the challenges head on because overall you are blessed there may be some discomfort somewhere in your situation such as: "my wife is too needy" "my husband is boring" but OVERALL.. your situation is something you wanted and something that (i imagine in most cases) still leaves you better off than if you weren't in that scenario so are you going to throw the baby out with the bathwater? are you going to throw a fit when your husband says he doesn't want to go out because he'd rather play his new video game? are you going to flirt with the babysitter when your wife stops wearing makeup and gains 30 pounds? or are you going to hold on, remain committed, and work on what the problems are? are you going to be weak or strong? are you going to honor your vows or break them? and its not just marriage either.. in ANY arena there may be some negatives to things that are overall positive can you keep your eyes on the prize? can you stay focused on what is important overall, or will that nagging negative thing destroy something that is more significant? these moments in life are more than likely a test i'm givin out study sheets brah good luck
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
we here!
chillen in mushroom hill zone Archives
December 2013
|