(if u read this, you may want to read part 1 first) so believe it or not, right after josh c. told me about ben dying.. he then said.. did u hear about jason hill ? i'm like no... he said: "he killed himself a few months ago" that's both ben and jason both gone this year alone and we are not even at the 6 month mark in 2012 yet ok.. jason was in the clique too.. jason however was also kinda in his own world because he always had a lot of money and he didn't care about school, he always worked and had money and didn't do school like the rest of us.. even up to where he died he still had more money than most people.. had a house on the lake, a really nice car, good job etc. ok as for my relationship with jason.. i was a lot closer to him than i was with andrew and ben i loved jason he was such a cool person.. our relationship was always kinda special in a weird way to me because the way we met was like.. not good at all.. he was one of those kids who liked to make racist jokes about me and so he and i were enemies for a good while then one day andrew was asking me about a videogame i got called parappa the rapper, then he asked jason if he had played it because jason (always having money) had played like every game.. i was thinking 'oh crap here we go.. just what i need.. jason to get in on this conversation and make it racist somehow' well for some reason he decided not to be an ass this time and we kinda talked about the game a bit.. the next thing i knew i was at jason's house chilling with him watching south park and playing his video games and listening to some no limit albums he had lol this was always very weird to me because it was like we were enemies then literally right after that he was one of my best friends.. he also kinda helped me to see tho that a lot of racist people are not actually assholes, a lot of them are just ignorant.. not understanding that there is REAL history there jason showed me a lot of things when i hung out with him.. the first time tho.. it was like- "i can't believe i'm at my enemy's house casually meeting his mom and ish" ..but we clicked very fast.. we had a good chemistry as friends so it just worked so from there we were good friends and we never had any problems.. i went to his house, he came to mine.. it was good times.. i loved his humor and i admired his life .. whenever i saw him he made me laugh.. i remember one day we all had our report cards and jason was like yo check mine out i think i'm on the honor roll! and every class had D's and F's LOL (btw in michigan you got E's instead of F's but u get the idea) fast forward later he added me on facebook.. like i think 2010 or so.. at first i didn't recognize him because he wasn't fat anymore and he actually got buff.. but it was him and we talked off and on on fb.. but like i said i deleted my account in late 2011 i remember he was having some baby mama troubles.. and he would say things like "the whole family used to be together but now its all over" because his wife left him come to think of it.. she probably used him because he always had money and stability.. but his staus updates a lot of times were about how his wife was taking him to the cleaners financially, or not letting him see his kids.. or whatever he sounded really sad and i'd sometimes say i understand, and say i know women can be crazy and mean.. but now that i know he killed himself, i don't think i knew the extent of the pain she caused him looking back.. this is what it sounded like on his facebook #1. he was still deeply in love with his ex-wife slash mother of his two sons #2. she was taking a lot of his money #3. he didn't get to see his kids half as much as he wanted #4. she was sending him mixed messages #5. he loved having all of his family in one house which was no longer the case i am actually thinking about maybe getting back on facebook at least for a while to try and keep in touch because people keep dying and i don't even know about it when it happens! anyway.. jason here's what i want to say to u u were a great friend.. dude.. so funny and so generous and nice and down to earth.. i don't hold anything against u from before we became friends.. all that animosity disappeared so quickly it was amazing.. u were a very original dude.. no one else was like u man thanks for showing me so many aspects of your life i will pray for your mom because i remember she was chubby and goofy just like you and i loved seeing you two have conversations i wasn't on facebook man, but i wish somehow i could've been there for u.. u really meant a lot to me.. i'm not just sayin that, i have good memories of u i will pray for your kids too.. i don't know what to say about your ex-wife man.. sounds like she really screwed with your head and you didn't deserve that because you loved her and tried your best.. not only that but u gave her two kids and provided for everyone and even took your kids to different events and functions and places just to be a fun dad she didn't appreciate u and u deserved better, i wish someone would have told u how much u meant to the world man seriously.. i really wish i could've been there for u and stopped u from going through with it i'm still in shock bro.. anyway.. these^ are my words for u
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