what's up.. today i was blessed quite a bit in that i got $49 from a book i sold
so i was actually able to eat and stuff lol.. honestly i thought i was going to get like $10 if that so like i said.. i was very blessed today i've been talking to this girl recently.. i'm thinking about trying to get close to her.. she isn't like.. perfect but she is nice and i am a lonely dude to be honest with u people don't understand my loneliness.. people are like "why don't u just" all the time all of my personal problems and issues sound stupid to people around me "why don't u have a girlfriend yet?" "why are u having a hard time in that class?" whatever question it is it begins to get annoying.. especially since its always from people who don't have problems in these same areas of their life.. like i could do that same thing if i wanted to be inconsiderate for example.. say i met a girl who had an eating disorder.. i could go up to her and say "why don't u just eat?" well its a little deeper than that, and no matter what she says.. it sounds stupid to me "i have body issues, james.. my dad never told me i was beautiful" then i'm standing there looking at her with a blank face as if she said nothing at all bottom line is i wouldn't understand the depth of her struggle and people don't understand mine look just to get some of this off my chest let me talk about why i don't have a girlfriend ok let me break this down.. i'm a Christian.. where are the Christian girls at? i watched a show on tv the other day and they asked a 15 yr old girl who her "idol" was and she said snooki from jersey shore WOW.. look a lot of girls are whores these days and they look up to other whores.. whores or hoes, or loose women.. whatever u want to call them.. they certainly aren't trying to walk the walk i'm trying to walk the Bible says the way to heaven is narrow.. the way to hell is wide.. i need the girls on that straight and narrow people don't understand that i'm serious about this.. like the other day some girl online said she wanted to meet me and she had pictures up of herself.. she had a nice body.. huge boobs.. really pretty.. but she wasn't a Christian so i didn't even begin to pursue it would i like to go and bang some easy girl with huge boobs? YES however i'm bad enough in my life and i don't need to add to my sins.. people don't understand i have to throw a lot of fish back u feel what i'm sayin? if i wasn't a Christian i'd probably be having sex right now.. i think about sex like every moment of life.. and people think i'm joking when i say that but i'm serious however.. even though its always on my mind.. sex in a lot of ways isn't important to me.. not in the same way it is to other people.. let me explain sex to me is what u get on top of a good loving marriage relationship.. its not the MAIN COURSE, its a benefit.. not something that should dictate all of a person's decision making.. however a lot of other people treat sex as if it is everything for example i was on a hip hop website not too long ago and i noticed an article a woman wrote.. in it she said "i don't really know a man until i've had sex with him" and she went on to talk about how if the sex isn't good she stops being interested think about that ish.. to me personally it is ridiculous and superficial.. let me explain my view my view is u build a relationship starting with mutual attraction, then a genuine friendship, then sincere love, then marriage then sex.. if the sex is bad on the honeymoon i'm not going to say "chaaaaa... yeah u know what? this isn't gnna work out.. this u and me thing isn't gnna work" no.. i'm going to explain to my partner how we can have a better intimate relationship and we will try again to me that is love.. that is patience and grace and its genuine the whole.. "we just had one bad 30 minute encounter so i'm done with u" to me is EXTREMELY demeaning oh wow lol i've gone a bit off topic for this blog ok well.. check it out.. overall here's the deal... people don't understand me.. they don't get why i do what i do.. they don't understand why my problems exist.. i feel like no one understands me except for a few.. i have recurring issues and problems not because i WANT them, but because i deal with certain circumstances and situations based on my beliefs or my strengths or my weaknesses and basically.. since i go my own route.. i get tired of people insinuating that i'm somehow "off" or "flawed" LOOK NGGA U DONT UNDERSTAND ME SO DONT EVEN ATTEMPT TO SAY U GET MY SITUATIONS OR HOW TO FIX MY ISSUES EITHER TRY TO FEEL WHERE IM COMIN FROM OR SHUT YOUR MOUTH (you guys r going to have to try and make sense out of this.. i feel like it was a bit of a ramble.. but hey i gotta get ish off my chest) peaCe
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JaimsHere are my 2010 blogs. I can honestly say I like looking back over these, so check them out. They're teh hotness. Archives
December 2010
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