it made me realize how often i say i "have" to do something instead of saying i "will" or "am"
its like that little wording adjustment changes tasks from "chore" to "worthwhile endeavor" ..like instead of an action being motivated by circumstance it is motivated by you, simply because it is beneficial
i'm gnna have to keep this in mind as much as possible
what made it frustrating is i had no possible way of explaining what was wrong with my car in the first place.. it just started making a noise and i had no idea how to explain the sound
when i got there the guy was like "is it a roaring sound?" i was like "yeah that's it!" LOL like it was some sort of lightweight charades n ish.. it cost $300 to fix btw
i went back to talk to that chick at fossil.. i did the best i could, i can't say anything will come of it or not but like i said, i did the best i could.. she's nice but who knows if she will be receptive or not from here on out?? i know i like her but in a sense the ball is in her court as to if she will be receptive at all, so i guess we'll see
honestly i've had girls give me their real phone number before and then when i call they act like i'm a stranger.. i've even had girls offer me their number, and when i call they don't answer.. so i am not excited or moved right now.. i am confident in myself in some situations but when talking to girls for the first time i've been through so much that sometimes it is very hard not to feel vulnerable and helpless
i'm just trying to do my part and put myself out there n ish.. whatever happens isn't even really important after i get over that part
speakin of that, i did that new song i said i was working on.. i don't think i'm gnna post it on here tho... if u want to hear it just email me and i'll send it to u personally.. firstname.lastname@example.org
here's a sample of it:
thoughts of failure tend to flirt with me/
certainly nothin is certain please mercy me/
look at my stomach like whoa i'm fat/
get in the booth n i'm dope i'm crack/
talk to girls n i don't got rap/
but i stay up at bat please don't knock that/
question all that i am as i whiff again/
pressure mounts from the stands and the pitcher grins/
can't call it but note to the journalist/
tears in my eyes as i stand i'll never learn to sit/
through the hurt i work can't cave on the curb and quit/
tell myself withstand and i'm sure to win/
pleasure and pain, problems and peace/
whichever the way i stay talkin to beats/
its inspired by my own self doubt and hangups and also a few of my strong points
LOL get this tho.. today my nephew asked a question.. he was like
"can dogs eat hot dogs?"
i looked at my sister shaking my head and i said THATS YOUR CHILD HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ok that's it for now.. again, if u want my new song please let me know
she is a really cool and interesting person, she said she lost over 100 pounds over the last year or so.. it struck me as so odd because she is so beautiful and its like wow just a year ago she was very overweight and probably being made fun of and ish
i really enjoyed her company i am amazed that i actually got her attention and got a chance to go out with her.. seriously it really means something to me, i'm like wow i didn't get shot down in the first 5 minutes lol this is awesome
from being with her today i like how she is ummm.. how do i say it.. u know how some people are really boring and un-interesting? .. yeah she's like the opposite of that except without being a loud-mouth or an ass
hopefully we will be able to go out some more, she is the cutest thing EVAR!
so i'm at fossil and there's this chick standing with her back to me and i thought wow this girl looks interesting.. i stood there kinda just looking at her for a second just seeing how she was dressed and her hair n everything
THEN SHE TURNED AROUND
this was the prettiest girl i have ever seen in my life
i felt like i could barely contain myself
i always compare that feeling to when girls get around usher or justin timberlake or any other "heart-throb" guy and they scream or throw their underwear on stage or just try to rip his clothes off instantly
i was so taken aback by her beauty i was just... it was like someone compiled everything i have ever wanted in life, they got every beautiful thing ever in the history of existence and packed it together and created this girl and put her right in front of my face
my brain kindly exited the room
5 minutes later i walked out of the store like WHAT THE FCK DID I JUST BUY THIS FOR?
my goal is to return it for another chance to actually talk to her properly i.e. about going out and not about store merchandise
I FELT LIKE I INSTANTLY FAINTED INSIDE WHEN I SAW HER!!!!!!!!!
i first noticed this on the show 'true life' when this 25 yr old chick said "i've been dating older men all my life, they're just so much more mature" and she just didn't look or seem 25 at all.. she looked a lot older than 25
ok first of all i don't think age is really an indicator of maturity.. like there are some things u may have going for u if u are older.. maybe u know what u want and maybe u know who u are.. however that doesn't mean u make good decisions, it doesn't mean u are free of bad habits, it doesn't mean u are easy to live with or fun to be around
but anyway.. when she said she was 25 i was like WHAT!? lol she looked kinda like.. raggedy lol... but ever since then whenever i see a girl who dates older men i see that same thing.. the girl tends to look older than her actual age
like the recent thing i just saw that's fresh in my memory was an episode of cheaters where this girl was 21 and her guy was 29.. she looked at LEAST 25.. at LEAST
and i'm not saying this relationship aged her.. but i'm saying that it may have been happening over time.. like the women i see who date older men normally seem to do it repeatedly.. i think constantly having relationships where the guy is like 7 to 20 yrs older may likely just have that aging effect
and this is pure observation.. i've seen guys date older women (albeit not as much as the other way around) but honestly in those relationships it still looked like the woman had a more youthful look and spirit as opposed to the guy seeming older than he really is
but back to the original scenario.. i guess there is also the question of.. which came first? did the girl's aged look and spirit steer her toward the older man? or did the older man steer her toward looking and seeming older?
i remember years ago i was talking to this guy and i asked him a tough question... i forgot what the question was, but he said "when questions like that come up the answer is always both"
so maybe he is right in this instance also.. maybe it is both.. maybe she already had an old look and spirit, and the constant supply of older men ages her also
i'm not even gnna give my opinion
what do u think?
also, just in general- do u think who u choose to have relations with affects you in any significant ways?
are u just getting off and enjoying romantic feelings, or are u biting off a little more than u perhaps bargained for?
smh Posted by poolboyjames on May 27, 2010 at 1:57 AM comments (0)so by chance i read on some site tonight that this kendra chick from E! tv and playboy magazine now has an old sex tape being released by a porn company
she was just married to i think a pro basketball player like a year ago or some ish
and now this old sex tape she has of her and her old boyfriend is coming out
it said she is getting $680,000 from it also
from a guy's point of view
like.. i put myself in her husband's shoes
to me that is like a damn NIGHTMARE
its bad enough u have a sexual past.. i am already trying to downplay it in my head as much as possible AND NOW THIS!?
people all over the world are watching a video of u having relations with your ex boyfriend.. I JUST MARRIED YOU A YEAR AGO AND NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS!!!!!
the article also said his parents are religious LOL
imagine their next family get together.. it'll be like 'meet the parents' but reversed this time
the husband's dad: "so kendra.. have u seen any good movies lately?"
kendra: "what's THAT supposed to mean?"
*SILENCE ENSUES AS ELEPHANT MAGICALLY APPEARS IN ROOM*
i'm just saying overall, in my opinion.. this is like a guy's worst nightmare.. like this is your WIFE.. like all ur eggs are in this one basket.. and my what a basket it is lol.. like its just a damn headache!
but.. like i said.. this is my opinion.. maybe it doesn't bother him at all
but then i wonder why did this guy marry a former playboy playmate in the first place.. i mean people say its "tasteful"... to me its nipples and asses.. its porn.
i guess to me marriage should be about foresight in a lot of ways
u weigh out all the factors before u propose..
does she have kids? .. no (check it off the list)
does she have substance abuse history? .. no (check it off the list)
has she done porn? yes..... hmm.. ok what might the implications of that behavior be? what does she likely have in her past that she isn't telling me? what may occur in the future?
for a wife i want a girl with as few skeletons in her closet as possible.. because if i marry her then i'm stuck with her i have to love her no matter what.. if she makes it easy on me then i am blessed.. but if she comes home talkin about "we need to talk" and i hear the words "porn tape" anywhere in the coversation after that.. then my job to love her has just become a lot more difficult
thanks for the anguish and added stress babes.. my career wasn't providing enough of that already
and another thing
like i said earlier the article said she got $680,000 from the tape
he plays pro basketball but damn i think she is the primary breadwinner this year! ..i mean she is ballin!
..wouldn't that cause issues in the marriage?
"where'd u get the money to remodel the bathroom, kendra?"
"the tape remember?"
"fck i was trying to forget"
like he worked all his life to be this great basketball player and now his wife is the primary breadwinner from a sex tape with her ex-b/f
i would imagine thoughts like that would gnaw away at him
1. personally i like it when a girl does eyeshadow well.. i like for it to be a color.. to me it shows creativity and it shows that she put some time into looking nice.. it really turns me on.. i remember i went on a date with a girl who had orange and green eyeshadow and it matched her clothes.. i was in love lol
2. voice and way of speaking.. if a girl has a nice voice and a cute way of speaking it can be hard not to be attracted to her no matter what..
if i'm talking to a girl with a pleasant way of speaking on thephone then i don't want to say anything, i just want her to keep talking.. voice and way of speaking are extremely high on the list of attraction-factors.. either i will be delighted or disgusted.. don't get me wrong there is a middle ground also.. but if i am delighted by how u speak then it goes a very long way
3. attitude.. some girls always want to argue with everything u say.. some girls are agreeable and pleasant and nice.. hmm guess which one i like.. such a tough one
one funny thing about this one is.. i can already visualize some girl reading it and saying "why should i be agreeable? just cuz i'm a woman doesn't mean...." ... LOL stop right there.. u are probably single
4. her laugh.. like it can be beautiful or it can be a disaster.. and another thing i want to point out about laughter.. look ok, if everytime u laugh hard, it ends in you coughing profusely, then u need to see a dr. about that.. i dnt even care if its just dr. pepper.. stop coughing after every time u have a decent laugh.. if u need to quit smoking, DO IT
5. moral character.. have it and show it.. that is what will get u respect among men.. if u have a man's respect then u can naturally also have everything else he has to offer.. women who want flings don't need it, but women who want to be married should have it and hold it
6. flexibility.. its attractive when a woman is able to go with the flow, like if plans change or something and she can still have a good time.. that is a lovable trait
ok that's all i have for now..
overall i hope this shows that there is more to being an attractive woman other than just body parts