so tonight i met a guy who is in worse shape than i am
i say that as humbly as possible
he's a really cool and nice guy but wow.. its like..
u know how u deal with problems in life because of ur own flaws, shortcomings, hangups, ideas, and confusion?
well yeah i saw myself in this guy as he spoke about his life.. we had similar issues but his seemed worse
for one he is 4 yrs older than me, 2 he can't get dates or talk to women or escalate to a kiss or show interest, 3 he is confused about life
again, i say all of this as humbly as possible because i have dealt with a lot of these exact same issues
i want to just break down some of these issues this guy has
i know he won't read this but i want to just speak on some of this.. these are just common male issues
(btw for anyone wondering, i am speaking of a guy i met tonight at a friend's house.. we had a long conversation about life and he exposed a lot about himself)
ok i'm just going to talk about this guy's issues in no particular order.. i've dealt with them i'm not saying i've mastered them but i've dealt with them all in some capacity and i have some insight
talking to girls:
the main things i've learned are as follows
as men we buy into the movies and the media and what people tell us.. but it is all wrong.. be yourself truly is the best advice u can follow
when i say be yourself what i mean is exude your own essence.. what makes u YOU? if ur not cool DONT TRY TO BE COOL if ur not funny DONT TRY TO BE FUNNY.. if u are direct BE DIRECT
for example.. u may see a girl and u may want to say something simple like "hey ur cute my name is blank how r u today" ... but u will probably re-think that and try to come up with something clever.. but being urself means DONT RE-THINK IT.. just say that first thing.. what comes natural to u
getting a date:
show interest from the beginning.. see if u show interest from the beginning she will likely be expecting u to ask her out.. so half the battle is over as long as u show interest in the beginning
don't talk to her like a platonic friend because that will make u seem weird and when u ask for a date after talking to her like a platonic friend she will be like "wtf?"
escalating to a kiss or intimacy:
atmosphere and moment.. these can be attained and created rather easily.. either naturally or on purpose
get her in a romantic mood by igniting romantic feelings.. small touches (like say an intentional grab and rub of her hand) lead to more direct affection like maybe a hug.. personally i think u can go for a kiss easily sometimes.. however if u are frightened just kiss her neck and move to her lips
another thing i want to point out:
this guy i met tonight.. he described a few chances he had with women and he called himself an idiot like 10 times.. he was saying things like "i'm such an idiot that i didn't get the hint" or "i always end up in the friend zone cuz i'm an idiot"
i told him straight up look man i'm not an expert on anything but u gotta stop calling urself an idiot
see as men a lot of times we think we are wrong when women turn us down.. we think maybe if we were more suave or if we knew more about women then we wouldn't fail.. but that is a wrong way of thinking
just try and if it doesn't work then hey.. cool, it was a learning experience.. don't wrap all ur self-worth up in one experience..
every single time this guy failed with a girl he rewarded himself with an insult "i'm an idiot" "i fcked that up terribly" etc. etc.
i told him just don't do that anymore.. if he takes my advice he will soon realize that he doesn't have a problem.. he is a male..
see a lot of guys think they have a problem.. they reason "i can't get a girl cuz i'm a nerd" or some ish
well the truth is, that girl ur looking at across the room needs u.. whether ur a nerd, a jock, a pothead, a Christian or whatever.. why?
BECAUSE U ARE A MAN, AND YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO HER
no matter what the outcome ends up being.. without u, her life is worthless, so take pride in that
as i said.. the guy was confused about life
my thing with that is this.. ok number one, TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I'VE BEEN THROUGH IT
ur a guy and u want to one day be the head of a family.. problem is, u are confused about ur own beliefs
who is God? is there a God? is God only in Christianity or is He also in other religions? should i be an atheist? what belief should i commit my mind to? what is important to pursue in life? why am i here?
the list goes ON AND ON.. its a very serious thing because like i said u want to one day be the head of a family but u haven't even settled on your own beliefs so how are u going to lead a family... and beyond that how are u going to settle on a woman if u are not settled on your beliefs?
who do u choose if u have not settled on your core beliefs yet? if u have no belief foundation u are subject to just picking up any old sort of thinking pattern because your brain was never meant to be empty.. ur core beliefs will affect every decision u make in life.. so until u settle on them u won't know where to live, who or what to devote ur time to, who to marry, or anything
so really how can u have a girl if u have no core beliefs?
it won't last because u will be unsure of yourself and we all know how much women love men who are unsure of themselves
so the thing is u need to search out truth.. and u need to find it before u go out with any more girls because each time u date a girl and u have no core beliefs u are playing urself... this is what people mean when they say find yourself.. so find yourself and THEN find a mate
to find yourself that is up to u how u search but in my opinion i say cry out to God and pray that He will reveal Himself to you.. that is my advice.. however if u want to just read a bunch of books or whatever.. go right ahead.. but the point is u MUST find who u are and what u believe and u must be solid in that belief before u search for a mate
its just ur duty as a man
wow i didn't think i'd say that much but this is all the stuff i would've liked to tell that guy tonight.. i really felt his frustration emanating off of his body
he would probably be surprised to kno the answers are not as far away as he thinks
u don't get married to someone, get divorced and just be best friends with them
u don't have a long term relationship with someone, have it fall through the cracks and then be best friends with someone
that is the dumbest thing in the world
if ur better friends now than u were before then why aren't u still together?
don't get me wrong i'm sure some couples may actually be like that.. but its probably an EXTREMELY low number of them.. like i would imagine it couldn't be more than 1% out of 100
if u really cared about someone, been with them a long time, been intimate with them.. how could u just break up with them and be like "yeah we broke up but our relationship is even more awesome now!"
how is it more awesome now? how did two people fall madly in love and simultaneously fall out of it with no hurt feelings?
it is just so fake
and lately i've been thinking about famous people and i've been realizing how fake and undesirable that whole life is in general
vanity u kno.. like superficiality.. fake.. deceiving.. not really what u think it is
it seems like as of recent.. the more i see celebrities, the more i see through them.. the more i see their flaws, their insecurities, their blatant marketing plans in action
when ur younger i guess u see artists and actors and actresses as like people who like personify cool or some ish.. but lately i just see them all as robots.. puppets of something else
and i noticed a lot of us overlook certain things about celebrities in general because we accept celebrities as eccentric
like a celebrity might make a song about heaven and hell where hell rules over heaven.. but people accept it because its "artistic"
or an artist could say some ish like "yeah sometimes i burn candles and summon spirits before i record music" and people will accept it because it is "eccentric" or something.. but its like.. no that's demonic!
or we even overlook actual offenses like with roman polanski, or r kelly, or chris brown
i guess i am saying i am ready to put my foot down
like for example in a previous entry i already mentioned how one of my fave bands 311 has some negative things tied to them.. well today i decided to just take a second look because "maybe they're not that bad"
well, today i noticed their album cover for "don't tread on me" has the "all-seeing-eye" on it (if u dnt kno what that is look it up.. its not a good thing)
i say that to basically say i am ready to put my foot down and stop accepting celebrity and music b.s. just because u feel me?
like i might listen to a song and the lyrics might say something about being a gangster and shooting someone.. and i listen to it cuz its music.. but at the end of the day.. what they just talked about was morally wrong.. and as they say
u are what u eat
i am just seeing things more i guess for what they are and hoping i can stop planting bad seeds into myself when i don't have to
btw this was only supposed to be about how celebrities say they are newly divorced or separated and now somehow magically best friends because of it.. but i went off on a tangent a bit lolz
such a simple line but it really touched a nerve for me
it captures exactly how i feel about the girls i really like.. its how i ultimately want to feel about whoever i marry
its not necessarily a sexual attraction, its just little things like that.. things that are little to the world.. or maybe meaningless to the world.. but to you they are everything..
maybe they just have a small movement that only they do.. and they don't even notice it but u saw it and it warmed ur heart completely
maybe its just a facial expression they make, or the sound of their voice, or as the song says- 'how they eat their cereal'
to give a personal example.. i remember i had a g/f once who had a hard time seeing and so she would sometimes try to read a book or a magazine and she would get up close with her head in the book and squint and i used to think that was the cutest thing EVER lol
everytime i saw her do it i would be reminded of how blessed i was to have her, i'd be reminded of how much i cared for and admired her for who she was
when i listened to the song i heard how she emphasized the word "so" and the word "cute" as if to say "u have no idea what ur doing to me right now.. you delight me almost beyond the point of description!"
i relate to that sort of thinking so much.. i think of it as being a very masculine form of love.. a love where u are just in awe of a person.. ur not even really concerned with what they can do for u, u just want to be in their presence.. u have a deep desire to love them fully.. and u just hope that they will let you
overall its just like wow what a great line.. i mean she captured so much of my feelings about love and women with that line alone.. its like that line alone is a full painting of the unexpressed love i have waiting inside to give
my appreciation for me'shell's music only seems to increase with time!!
yes God wants u to do better but He will help u out as opposed to just leaving u hanging
i find this to be true when i find that somehow God seems to be making up for my weak points in life
like for example, one day last semester at school i was in a real bad position and i was thinking man i might actually end up failing some classes but everything ended up ok despite the imminent danger i was facing at the time
and it felt as if someone had my back.. as if someone was making up for my shortcomings.. as if someone was saying.. i got u today.. just keep going and we'll make it through together
like someone is holding me up in a sense.. not that i'm always falling, but if i AM about to fall, its as if God is there to keep me afloat
i think the reason for this is because God doesn't want me to fall.. He wants to see me reach my fullest potential
"i have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly" john 10:10
^^that shows u right there that God wants u to live ur best life through Jesus Christ
for me personally.. the remarkable thing about it is this..
#1. i am flawed.. i drink too much coffee, i daydream too much, i am a social misfit, i procrastinate, i have a hard time focusing.. u guys get the idea here
but God is still in my corner helping me until i get on my feet.. and when i get on my feet He'll still be there helping me maintain and live right
#2. everyone else in life leaves me or just plain isn't there for me when i need them.. but God stays..
the cool thing about God is He just wants me to not sin.. like He gives me something to live up to that is good for me..
what other people do is they want u to do something for them to make them happy regardless of what u want and if u don't give it to them what do they do
THEY LEAVE U
see.. the thing about this blog is this.. i am tired of people leaving me.. or not exercising patience with me
i mess up and poof WOW!! DISAPPEARING FRIENDS!
i feel like some sort of a fcked up magician and ish
but God dnt leave u.. even when u mess up He's there to help u get back on track like when u make a wrong turn on ur GPS
God's like ok u messed up here so go 50ft and turn here cuz i'm still tryin to get u to this destination
other people are like oh u messed up so i'm never calling u again and that's it
ok get ready for a personal rambling about me and the girls i date:
I AM NOT PERFECT, i cannot be mr. cassanova 100% of the time.. i wake up in the morning and i clear my throat for like 10 minutes straight.. i sound like a damn dinosaur with strep-throat.. i pick up things and drop them.. i say things and regret them.. i have awkward moments.. i don't have everything figured out..
girls see me make mistakes and leave me.. friends see me make mistakes and they never forgive me.. God NEVER LEAVES ME
u feel me?
so i don't know man that's all i wanted to say.. God's always there when u need Him and that is both remarkable and incredibly comforting
dnt get me wrong u may endure something for a bit but in the end God's there to pick u back up
13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
the pledge of a good conscience toward God saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ
you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4 They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. 5 But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.
7 The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.
8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.
a lot of times people put a negative connotation on Christianity
ok just to flip the coin i just want to point out that the theory of evolution started racism
think of all the blacks, jews, native americans, and asians who have been treated as less than, killed, beaten, and raped all because "they're not really human, they're savages, they are not as evolved as us"
i could go on.. but i just wanted to point that out
; ">the first reason is because God answers prayers/requests
the thing about God answering prayers is like.. u know its God because say u ask for something huge, u will likely begin to find ways to accomplish that goal.. like opportunities and avenues may begin to pop up.. and yes u have to pursue still, but the very fact that the opportunity is revealed out of nowhere shows that God is lending a hand
the other thing that i find to be notable is when God doesn't answer prayers/requests
when this happens i normally look back and find out that i was better off with Him not allowing that prayer to be answered
the thing is He knows more than i do, so just because i want something really bad doesn't mean it is right for me to have it.. it goes back to the child/parent relationship.. the kid doesn't see why he can't eat cake for all meals of the day but the parent does..
but one day the kid will look back and see how ridiculous he was for begging for cake for every meal.. and he will be glad his parents showed restraint.. which is normally what happens to me when my prayers/requests are not fulfilled
God answers questions
like for example just the other day i was confused about something.. i asked God to help me figure it out.. then like a day or two later i was looking for a book but in this box of books i found a bible (my personal bible is in clarksville).. so i opened it just to look in it and as soon as i looked down the answer i was looking for was right there
sometimes i think i have visions from God
this is kinda hard to explain.. its like ok say i have a girlfriend
i may get a vision of her kissing a guy all of a sudden.. and when this happens, i have to investigate this vision.. but the thing is i don't really think its ever wrong
its hard to explain because it is so subtle, but it is also very vivid
what i'm saying is i believe many times that that strong intuition we have is God-inspired.. a lot of times God just simply tells u what is going on behind ur back.. or sometimes u will just get a vision of one word and u have to keep ur eyes open for that word and how it will manifest in your life
God gives u dreams.. if u have a dream that is from God u may not understand it but at the same time u may feel that it was important.. u may not be able to shake the feeling that it was important
if this happens then u should try to find out what it meant
i once had a prophetic dream however it was about my sister and not me.. i told her about it, she got it interpreted by a Christian with that gift of interpreting dreams and she dodged some hard times that were headed for her
ok those are some of the reasons i believe in God and some ways i've seen Him affect the everyday life of believers