they're really good ways to pull ur inner thoughts out.. therapeutic indeed.
so check it out, these are all my wishes.. they're not incredibly simple (like wishing for m&m's).. but they're not too hard or far-fetched.. (like wishing to hit the lottery when you don't even play it)
soooo, i wish...
i was done with school
my life made sense
i had cubase 5 for mac
opry mills would open up again so i can walk around, look at girls, and get some more cool button ups from van-huesen
i had a meaningful relationship with a girl with nice thighs (i never really talk about thighs but they are QUITE important to me)
i am pretty much left with nothing, however i am trying to get to the point where i let go of my own life more and let God do more in and through me
any music that is explicit or talks about how great fornication is, or any song that says "do what thou wilt" in any form or fashion is going to have to be played away from me from now on
any song with curse words or any unrighteousness has got to go at this point.. period
i hope i can stick to this.. i think it is a source of double-mindedness.. u try to be a Christian but by taking in all sorts of unrighteousness through music, it seems satan has his foot still in the door
my goal is to just close the door completely and let God inhabit my mind and body fully
i like this picture for a number of reasons
1. its in fall my fave season
2. the scenery reminds me of michigan
3. the design of the house looks nice, and modern, however it seems to be in a more open, spacious, country setting
4. nice car, but not very expensive.. its nice but not exactly a status symbol (aka sign of vanity)
in a lot of ways this picture represents how i want to live my life
one thing i am tired of is how non-Christians misinterpret everything about my lifestyle
its like this, if i say "i'm a Christian" they hear "james is judgemental"
if i say "i am celibate" they hear "james thinks sex is bad"
if i say "i am trying to live right" they hear "james thinks he is better than me"
if i say "i don't support homosexuality" they hear "james is afraid of, and/or hates gay people" sidenote: i may hate homosexuality (just as God does) however i am called to love my neighbors as myself
i hate how if i just tell someone how i choose to live my life they automatically find something to say to try and combat my lifestyle
this is how i know this is spiritual warfare.. because i can't say anything that is righteous or good without someone telling me that my efforts are stupid or meaningless.. i don't even ask for opinions but i get them all the time
every opinion i encounter is always dumb for so many reasons that i don't even know how to counter it.. people are so antagonistic and annoying when it comes to my Christianity and they never know what they're talking about
they try to quote the Bible when they've never read it.. they know one quote and they say that as if they are capable of summing up the Bible with one sentence.. they think they can debunk anything their flesh disagrees with.. as if that is even beneficial to anyone.. its inherently anti-Christian, so i know who their father is
the other day i told some guy i don't plan on having any sexual relations until i'm married.. u know what he said to me?
"the Bible doesn't have anything in it that says don't fornicate"
literally he said that and he used the word fornicate and everything
it was so dumb that i didn't even want to talk to him anymore
its all good.. regardless of what people are talking about, at the end of the day i'm on the winning team.. and i want to make sure i'm one of God's MVP's!!!
so recently on hell's bells (still watching it.. i'm on #29) it exposes parts of it.. here's what part of it said:
"take your fill and will of love as ye will when, where, and with whom ye will"
in another passage in there it says that lust is a better term for love, so understand- under this criteria, this is basically saying have any kind of sexual relations with whoever whenever
then it says "i live as the beasts of the field, rejoicing in the fleshly life"
this reminded me of something a girl said to me not too long ago
she was trying to get me to go in the zone (if you kno what i mean) and i was basically like thanks but no thanks and she said "its just sex.. animals have sex all the time"
this passage SO reminded me of that
in this sense you could say this is her lifestyle.. to live like a beast of the field, (an animal) rejoicing in the fleshly life (lack of restraint, living by instincts/desires alone) following all her fleeting lusts/whims without consulting what God has to say on matters
the problem with this is we aren't animals
we have the power to reason.. we are made in God's image and we are informed in God's Word that we will have to one day dealwith the consequences of our choices..
did we make Jesus the lord over our life and live as a living sacrifice?
or did we just do whatever we wanted to do whenever we wanted to do it?
people say "do whatever you want" but the Bible says "God will not be mocked."
on a personal level i want to point out tho.. i still really like this girl a lot and i hope she can get right with God.. sometimes i think of her as being a bit misguided.. she's one of those people who reads the Bible but only takes certain things out of it.. like she is loving to people but disobedient to God
my view is that loving people is a start but you are actually supposed to love the Father first and foremost.. and the Bible says that if you love Him you will keep His commandments
and so yeah i care about her but i don't agree with her way of life so even though i care about her we aren't close because like the Bible says.. "two can't walk together unless they agree"
this is a big reason i want to meet a good Christian girl because anything less is not something i can tolerate (or even understand)
but... i just wanted to point out how closely her mindstate was to the words in the satan bible
i guess at the end of the day we are all a mere product of who we submit to spiritually whether we know it or not
i have been noticing another girl i like in my literature class however i have a feeling she is just going to reject me like the last 10,000 girls i've come across
her walk is MEAN smh
but.. i don't really see a point in talking to her
lol i pretty much only think about females all day everyday.. the way they look, smell, their bodies.. i sometimes wish i could just indulge and have one weekend where i just have a bunch of women
so then at least i could be like.. "i'm satisfied in this area of my life for once!!!!"
i think so much about women that it is... hmm i honestly don't even know how to put it into words
however, at the end of the day i'm much happier having a clear conscience than i would be having a lot of lustful activities
i enjoy knowing that God isn't mad at me or disappointed with me.. i like being able to pray and not feel shame or guilt
sometimes i go into situations feeling like a king from beginning to end simply because i know God is the father to those who keep His commandments and those who submit a clear conscience unto Him and present their bodies as a living sacrifice
i find a lot of rest in humility and submission under God
don't get me wrong i do wrestle with my flesh.. but this world is ridiculous.. they don't know their right hand from their left and when its all said and done (using foresight) the world has absolutely nothing to offer me.. seriously this world is disgusting.. all the things i deal with as a Christian are worth it to me.. with all humility i am speaking that from my heart
lol i don't even know what my point is right now tho i'm tired
ok first of all.. this guy who was setting me up, it was the wrong guy.. here's the issue, i have two guys in my phone with the same name.. so i thought it was another more trustworthy friend however instead it was someone i've known for less than a year
so i realized this too late
so i started talking to the girl he was supposed to set me up with and she had a weird name so i looked her up on facebook cuz i figured no one else would have her name.. i was right
then i went to her page and found these 3 main problems
#1. she's not gay herself but she promotes homosexuality
keep in mind he said "she's the only girl who lives up to your religious standards"
BEING "A REALLY SWEET GIRL" IS NOT A "RELIGIOUS STANDARD" SMH
this just reminds me that people outside of Christianity think they understand it but they really just don't.. if you want to understand it then humbly ask God to reveal Himself to you.. other than that u will probably live your life thinking and acting like you understand the depth of Christianity, but you don't
flat-out its so far above some peoples' heads that its not even worth trying to explain to them
i could say something that makes perfect sense to me and they would still misinterpret it
#2. she is 6 ft tall.. i'm 5'7.. this isn't even a remotely decent match-up on any level..
if i lived like other people and just wanted to smash maybe she would be good for a night but seeing as how i'm living the Christian lifestyle and looking for a companion.. this difference in height is totally asinine
personally i dont care about the height difference, but women seem to care.. and since i don't want to hear about how "i'm short" or "i need to grow" or simply made to feel inadequate by whoever i'm dating.. I'LL PASS ON THAT
#3. she had a picture where she was blowing smoke.. i don't know if it was weed or a cigarette.. but it really doesn't matter
this match up was ridiculous.. i appreciate him trying to hook me up, however i now also understand that he doesn't understand me at all
the more i watch it the more i feel like i've dodged a LOT of bullets because in my life i've always been the biggest music fan in the room.. so i've listened to a LOT of songs and styles of music
but at the same time, even though i've dodged a lot of bullets, i've also had my fair share of deception
one interesting thing they've pointed out in hell's bell is that a lot of times these artists try to do benefit concerts and things for things they actually cause
for example, i just watched #19 and they talked about how janet jackson was trying to use proceeds of her tour for kids who are in poverty or have disease or come from broken homes
but all those things oftentimes come from sexual immorality.. that is where all those things oftentimes begin.. and she promotes sexual immorality constantly in her songs, her innuendo in movements and dancing, her themes, her album art, videos, etc etc
it also talked about r. kelly, who also promotes sexual immorality in all his art.. how he was doing a benefit for aids.. but aids is largely a product of promiscuity
it points out how so many people in the world are hypocritical
madonna sells sexual immorality and anti-christian ideals to people and their children on tv and in music but then on an interview she explained that her own daughter isn't allowed to watch tv.. smh
anyway, i just finished #19 so i have 20 through 40 to go