my prayer for tonight Posted by poolboyjames on September 6, 2010 at 11:18 PM comments (0)"delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"
psalms 37:4 i don't even necessarily want to post Bible verses all the time but these things are what i'm trying to hold on to so that hopefully i will obey and see the manifestations of the promises this one i just posted here seems a bit difficult to grasp in a way.. u are told to delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.. .. this is written to people who do not currently have the desires of their heart.. meaning u have to delight in the Lord or find a praise even when u don't have what u want.. in other words.. praise God even when u feel like crying, or even when u feel like giving up doesn't seem too easy does it? but this sort of thing is what i am standing on daily i am believing God for a good woman DAILY and i am not going to get arrogant and say i'm a perfect believer but i am trying i feel very blessed in my life but i have a big woman-shaped hole in my life and i need a girl to fill it this desire came into my life after i got my studio equipment.. i guess seeking the equipment out was somewhat of a high in and of itself.. .. a driving force if you will.. i didn't really think about other things too much but about 2 weeks after i got everything i began to feel my soul calling out for something else.. beauty, affection, companionship, intimacy, etc my life is missing all of these i guess this is just my current struggle in a lot of ways i don't want to praise God or even talk to God because i feel like He is ignoring me.. allowing me to live an incredibly unfulfilled lifestyle and it seems like He doesn't care but that only describes what it FEELS and SEEMS like.. reality is different.. and my faith is in what i know i know He does care and i know He is doing great things in my life.. i just have to remain on track and not let my problems take my victory i don't want to go backwards i want to go forward in my walk with God and so my objective is to wait on Him for as long as it takes inside i want to abuse women just like every other guy.. i want to pick up a girl, use her for a period of time, then move on to another one.. but i flat-out refuse to go against God's moral standards i am going to remain strong, praise God, and walk in the spirit daily.. i walk around everyday feeling like there's a hole in my chest.. DO U THINK I WANT TO PRAISE GOD!? i want to look up in the sky and say God where are you!? but its not about where God is.. its about where i am.. am i pleasing God in my walk? am i being a living sacrifice? i don't know about you but i want the full blessing of the Lord.. i want the whole thing.. i want a good woman who will love me for me, a good woman i can respect, a good woman who is beautiful, a good woman who is loyal, a woman who is to be admired, a woman with wisdom.. i can go and get a girl who will be fun for a few nights but she is eventually going to leave me or cheat on me or tell me i don't live up to some stupid superficial standard.. i'm tired of being rejected or losing in the game of love.. so i am done playing GAMES.. that's all they are.. GAMES.. people don't accept u for who u are, people aren't patient with u, people reject u for things u can't change, people are cool with u one day then the next they don't answer when u call.. i'm so done with the whole thing.. i am tired of having my heart long for people who don't even have love to give.. so let's skip all of this garbage and go to the REAL SOURCE... i want the person God has for me i want God's mate He wants to give me.. that's it.. i want nothing less than exactly the person God has hand-picked for James Smedley because of this i am willing to do whatever it takes i am going to stand strong i am not going to be sidetracked by these women with booty-shorts walking around.. i am going to remain strong and control myself and ready myself for what God has for me a person perfectly suited to be my helper.. a girl i delight in and admire.. a girl who is a source of joy in my life i am not interested in any second bests.. i almost feel like i can't say that enough.. I AM GOING TO STAY STRONG AND GET WHAT THE LORD HAS FOR ME I AM NOT GOING TO WASTE MY TIME ON UNBELIEF AND UNBELIEVERS.. I AM STAYING ON THE WINNING TEAM LORD BE MY STRENGTH my flesh is weak but i can do all things through Christ temptation is everywhere but i will not let go.
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JaimsHere are my 2010 blogs. I can honestly say I like looking back over these, so check them out. They're teh hotness. Archives
December 2010
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