yes, i got it.. and it was the last copy in there
the whole series plus both of the daria movies plus interviews i've wanted this for a long time. i'm ready. "she knows everything she doesn't like but has no idea what she does like yet" there are a lot of movies.. but this one is something you FEEL "i just need someone to be nice to me" -enid
i've loved this song for a REALLY long time.. like since the 90s
this song accomplishes a lot of cool things one thing i love about it is the melody on the chorus another thing i like about it is her demeanor on the song.. she's not even trying hard.. she's just honestly speaking from the heart.. she is laid back just telling it like it is i also love how it sounds good but its still so real.. this to me is what i try to accomplish a lot.. to make something that may have some sort of pop-appeal to it, but to make it have enough depth to where the listener doesn't resent the song.. and i'm not saying this is pop.. but i'm just saying you want appeal with substance.. kinda like when you look for a spouse.. u want eye candy and you want substance behind it i must admit.. i get tired of these sick demonic people in hollywood and in the music and entertainment industries mocking citizens all the time always putting pyramids and all-seeing eyes in everything.. there is something wrong with these people.. they are the same kind of people who put three sixes after their screen names.. they are just obsessed with demonic things and paganism i can't look at any entertainment without seeing them.. the black and white motifs, the owls, the mk-ultra references.. its just everywhere.. and i know they just do it to boast that they "own" everything what brought on this rant? 5 minutes ago i was listening to a movie score and saw this picture 4-20 (april 20th) is hitler's date of birth
1945 is his year of death what kind of sick person puts a tribute to hitler on a movie poster about football? this stuff is just absurd.. they are always putting these hidden messages in everything.. except they're not even hidden i tell people about this stuff and they act like i'm crazy but its EVERYWHERE everything just feels unclean.. you watch ur favorite cartoon and there is a reference to satan worship in it or you play a video game and there is a baphomet in the game FOR NO REASON they make things that should be clean fun into dirty and disgusting propaganda for evil example: there is a really illuminati'd-out video game called assassin's creed where the goal of the game is to kill people smh.. but i literally saw a review of it the other day and the guy talked about how the game has "intelligent commentary about how religion controls and corrupts people" so what he learned from the game is basically that doing whatever you want = good while submitting to God = bad and what makes it even worse is he doesn't even realize he is getting his viewpoints on life FROM A VIDEO GAME people don't even realize they are being brainwashed by various forms of entertainment the entertainment industry basically says "do what thou wilt" and the Bible says "honor the Lord, honor your parents, be humble, love one another, exercise self control, don't cheat on your spouse, etc." and people think the Bible is negative!? LOL!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED.. "do what thou wilt" = worldwide chaos, you moron i'm just over it.. newsflash to any of u pagan people out there.. those pagan societies eventually all fell and they fell HARD.. hmm i wonder why do u really think the most Christian nation also became the most successful nation by chance? cast off God from your life then you also cast off your source of good, decency, morality, protection, love, and more you will never defeat God or His plans.. if anything- you will only defeat and destroy yourself. end of story. (^^my eccentric definition)
building on my 'hair' entry with tracee ellis ross i do find it interesting that that samson in the Bible got his power from his hair do you guys think that story showed the significance of hair? or do you think his power could've came from anything? and was it to be taken literally? do you think he really had power from his hair? its a great example of something i don't understand in the Bible.. i know a lot of atheists try to debunk the Bible because it had supernatural things in it but i always feel like i just don't understand the totality of it or i don't know exactly how the story was to be taken in the first place but anyway.. regardless of how its taken- i find it odd and amazing that the story is relevant either way so many of us today get a lot of our "power" or identity or swag or confidence from our hair put it any way you like- all i know is, i've seen people with good looking wigs cry tears of joy and i've seen people with bad haircuts cry tears of anguish and pain think about how hair not only shapes our physical looks but also our outward lifestyles a change in hair normally accompanies a shift in a person's life you grow dreads and that marks the beginning of your afrocentric studies and endeavors you get a conventional cut to match your conventional lifestyle you go natural to feel more comfortable in your own skin and take a certain pride in who you are you shave your head because you just feel like you want to start new what type of hair do you need to have your source of "strength" ? when i think about myself.. the most important thing i need is my beard.. and it needs to be as thick as possible without that i tend to feel naked and less masculine.. i feel like i look weird without my black facial hair i feel like my beard silently tells everyone HOW to look at me speaking of how.. how exactly does hair translate into power? does feeling comfortable translate into power? does projecting the right image translate into power? i'm really not sure what to make of hair's ultimate significance but it remains interesting to think about gashis dx is NICE! (click play even tho screen is black) and isn't this what everyone is looking for? u want to be treated like ur special.. not like someone who is immediately replaceable and therefore worthless
u want someone who sees the best in you i talk to girls and sometimes i think they are extremely good at making me feel unimportant comments about me being "short" ..i'm 5'7 and "short" is relative.. ok so i'm not as tall as your f*cking security guard ex-boyfriend.. get over it asshole comments comparing penis sizes when they haven't even seen mine.. ok 1. your mind is in the gutter 2. since you asked now you will never see it because i have lost interest in you 3. having seen and "enjoyed" multiple penises is not exactly a feather in your cap 4. talking like that is demeaning.. would u like a guy looking at your shirt trying to size you up and hinting that your boobs may be inadequate? no? why? exactly.. demeaning.. and not man to woman or woman to man, but HUMAN TO HUMAN rolling their eyes and making faces questioning my decisions thinking i need to just do things their way texting someone on their cell phones the whole time i'm around them then wondering why i'm irritated why not try and make a person feel wanted or desired or special for once? there's only one James Arthur Smedley V so.... "treat me like i'm special, baby" i saw this pic today and it reminded me of the movie 'good hair' w/ chris rock
that movie really opened my eyes to how deep racism goes its not just racial profiling and never getting the benefit of the doubt.. there are also notions of what can be pretty and what can't blonde and stringy = "good" nappy and black = "bad" what i took away from that movie is black people have to uplift eachother and really have a sense of community in order to bounce back from the effects of racism/slavery and their persisting pervasive ramifications in society its SO sad to me that the attack on black self esteem even reaches other black people! the black girl said she wouldn't hire the other black girl just because her hair was natural.. that was insane to think that all it takes for a black woman to be considered a 'revolutionary' in our society is for her to wear her hair in its natural state is just absolutely appalling having to watch that for a class was actually a highlight of my education.. it was actually enlightening and had intrinsic value.. created a sympathy i would otherwise not have had (since the 'beauty' thing doesn't really translate to the male community as much) anyway these^ are my thoughts for the moment. oh btw.. i am a big fan of tracee ellis ross.. she's not conventionally pretty or even lusty or anything but something about her is attractive.. the way she carries herself or her seemingly clear head.. she seems like she has more wisdom than the average person imo.. also her booty is AMAZING wow i remember when she was on the lyricist lounge show also.. gotta love that today i finally got microsoft office for mac
it cost $100 but i think it was worth it ++++++ i went to pay for my emissions test and new tags for my car today it was surprisingly easy getting all of this done considering my address was wrong and my tags were already expired and ish ++++++ i was thinking about a friend today and she called me right as i was thinking about her i didn't tell her i was thinking about her when we spoke ++++++ a different girl text me today and said she was getting married i just want to get this off my chest real quick: i've had girls tell me they're getting married before.. it really pisses me off because out of all the times girls have said this to me- it has only been true once i think they do it because they want to see my reaction they want to see if i get upset because if i do then they will know if i care for them in that way or not i don't appreciate this "game" girls- don't tell me you're single when you're not.. don't tell me you're in a relationship when you're not.. don't tell me your "getting married" when you're not its not funny if i cared about you in that way then i wouldn't appreciate being played with and if i don't care about you in that way then i just don't appreciate being lied to guys have you dealt with this from girls too? or is it just me? ++++++ i have learned recently that i want to be more upbeat and positive even if its a mere fake-it-til-you-make-it thing.. i want to change i want to be a bright spot in this world i really want to stop being negative and i want to stop focusing on problems as much as i do i want to stop being angry so much i want to harness my emotions for music but i don't want to express so much negativity in my every day life i want to focus more on other people and not on myself i have realized how ugly some of my characteristics can be and so i really just want to change for the better hopefully i will have more to share on this later ++++++ one other thing i definitely want to work on is offering good handshakes and looking people in the eye in other words i feel like i need to work on establishing a connection with people i have to start presenting myself in a way that would create instant rapport/trust/comfort in others i watch certain public figures and some of them are extremely likable for various reasons.. i gotta begin applying these things to myself regardless of how i 'feel' so many things are more of a choice than a feeling ^realest sentence you've read all day ++++++ i have been struggling with my own self image a lot lately so i will say some positive things about myself i love the fact that i care about God and what He thinks.. I love the fact that i respect God (i'm not perfect) but my honor i have for the Lord keeps me in order i love the fact that i have great taste in music i love that i have been maturing i love that i am able to exercise patience i love the fact that my hair is growing out again.. my beard is thick and i'm going to get my beloved mohawk again soon ++++++ ^this is all i must say for now. |
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December 2012
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