first off i want to start this off by saying i'm not a race based person.. i am not saying this to bash black females this is just something i have noticed recently.. i have done entries on white people, black males, as well as asian people so i don't want anyone to think i am bashing with this
i have recently seen that black women in general seem to have a lot of pride i think a lot of this comes from culture.. i guess black women are largely a group of people who apparently saw the women in their family have more power and autonomy than men couple that with the culture that is marketed to them through music and media (the attitude thing and the diva thing) and i suppose what u get is a woman who is prideful in her identity i saw a statistic somewhere that said black females get college degrees more than any other group in the united states i think the same thing that propels them to strive for education is likely the same thing that keeps them in pride.. they want to appear as either "as good as" or "better than" ... this in some ways can be seen as a positive if you are trying to make a decent living for yourself however if a woman aims this same thought process at the men in her life- there will likely be a problem time and time again i've seen black females with a massive amount of pride one black female said to me that she couldn't talk to anyone without a bachelor's degree.. she was like "if you don't have at least a bachelor's degree you probably can't keep up with what i'm saying" imo that was massive pride.. especially since at the time i was still in undergrad a lot of times they feel like they don't need to listen to anyone.. i told my ex g/f she needed to stop acting like tupac with her "me against the world" mentality the problem with a woman with a prideful mentality is she won't apologize, she won't ask for help, she won't receive help, she won't forgive, she won't be protected, her guard is always up, etc a man will try to say something to her that's real, and she will just take it as an insult and spit out something disparaging i think ultimately when u look at black women the issue with them is largely just pride.. they bring the same pride they have from taking care of their children and being independent into their relationships and it is repulsive to men i've also noticed on occasion some black women respect white guys more than they do black guys.. i heard one black woman say she doesn't argue with white men but she does with black men.. i called her on it and she laughed as if i was jealous.. i wasn't jealous i just thought that was ignorant how would i sound saying "yeah i respect white women but not black ones" ?? like i just thought it was a stupid thing to say.. like i said i'm not a race based person so what i am saying is not to bash black women- this is just something i have seen recently i feel that black women may possibly be the only ones who generally feel they are above their men its like sometimes i feel as though they see a black man and their first thought is "i don't have to respect him" this is not all black women but this is something i've seen in many of them what do u all think? do u think i am correct in saying these things or do u think i'm way off?
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metal gear solid 5 is on psplus right now so i downloaded it and i tried to get into it but its a terrible game.. its just bad.. so far the story seems to go nowhere.. the gameplay is a fail- open world stealth is just not the best idea.. i think that's why they added in that slow-motion bullet-time thing smh
metal gear solid 4: guns of the patriots is infinitely better than mgs5... i LOVED mgs4 other things i hate about 5 are, credits roll after every mission.. the constant helicopter rides.. the pointless empty open world.. there is nothing to actually do at the base.. lack of indoor stealth.. snake's voice is not done by david hayter, his new voice is absurd- especially when he uses the health spray.. the story lacks much talking, it seems like its just made up of body language and camera angles.. also the entire presentation is just off.. i feel like there is too much loading, the blood is overdone (the guy is always bloody they actually had to put a shower in the game) missions are repetitive and disjointed (meaning not connected, there's no sense of progression its just a collection of missions with no purpose), i'm not seeing the signature humor of mgs, its like they totally dudebro'd it.. the game is just trash and not a real metal gear oh yeah, and they changed the controls.. the inventory was fine, why change that? I played the game for some hours and never really got used to the new inventory controls.. and when I'd find a new weapon during gameplay, it kept asking me to give up one gun in favor of another.. why can't I just keep both? like wow this is the first game I've deleted off my ps4.. its crap the only good thing about it is it has caused me to want to buy the metal gear legacy collection which is like 1 through 4.. so hopefully I will get that and just pretend 5 doesn't exist btw.. unrelated, but gran turismo sport dropped today.. i'm interested to see what the scores will look like.. tbh I wouldn't mind getting that and a racing wheel but I don't think I have the money for all of that right now wat up peeps.. just want to give an update
i am thankful the Lord has allowed me to get my car fixed today.. the closeout panel at the bottom was broken because i pulled up too far in a parking space and when i backed out it ripped off and was hanging for months it cost $200 to fix at the dodge dealer so it wasn't bad imo +++++++ lately i've become more aware of the divide between good and evil and how evil is oftentimes just a person's "self preservation" when they come to the conclusion that "i'm going to get them before they get me" unbeknownst to that person- this oftentimes makes them the same as the person who hurt them previously i have decided i definitely prefer to be a good person over a bad one.. in most cases this just means giving the advantage to others and believing God for my own victory as opposed to circumstance +++++++ i've been giving some thought to my overall presentation as a person.. i feel that my presentation is lacking.. i would like to step it up my personal style has been on struggle mode for a while now lol i suppose part of the reason is because my mind has been elsewhere but since i got all furniture, got my car fixed, got my bed fixed, finished school, and no longer have a g/f- i feel like i can put some effort into things i've overlooked for a long time like clothing and presentation.. maybe i'll even start wearing ties again who knows +++++++ last night i only slept about 3 hours or so.. my body has just been irritable.. i honestly think my body is telling me i need to workout +++++++ the other day, this girl at my church basically said she had a dream she and i were married i don't really know why she told me that.. if God hasn't showed me any of that then why bring it to my attention? i'm not going to marry someone because they had a dream i really hope the Lord sends her a husband cuz i don't see her and i getting hitched +++++++ i've been eating a lot of french toast.. the cinnamon french toast squares u can buy at wal-mart are amazing +++++++ alright well that's about it for now peeps holla one thing i find to be odd is how women want men to be good, upstanding, traditional men.. but women outright refuse to be good, upstanding, traditional women
women these days think being a good woman means getting a college degree lol every woman is out here saying she wants a man over 6ft, a man who has a high paying and prestigious career, a man who can dress really well, a man who has a nice car, a man who works out and has a body, a man who is God-fearing, and a protector etc etc etc but women largely fail to realize that they are not giving men what they want... so even if a woman found this type of man, the fact is she would not be prepared for him what i've noticed though is that women actually count on this type of setup in their lives.. women know many men want to be good men but instead of seeing that and conversely being a good woman to that man- they instead attempt to use his own integrity against him example: "i can treat him bad, he'll always be there" a woman who says such a thing essentially exploits a man's greatest asset to a woman which is his ability to commit the problem that good men have is the fact that they are just getting leftovers these days the tradeoff is supposed to be like this.. man gives his commitment and companionship.. he sacrifices his life to give her comfort and stability in their varying forms woman gives herself to a man and he gets to break the seal on her most intimate parts.. the deal is sealed with a physical blood covenant in this exchange, the man gets the woman he wants.. she is without spot or blemish.. and also without all the crazy emotional hangups and baggage women seem to pick up days through their relationships and flings.. and the woman gets the man she wants and his love is strong for her because he now feels a sense of ownership or possessiveness which further brings out and accentuates his protective side since she is "his" and he isn't feeling like he's last in the line of her previous partners this creates a landscape for both to be in the best possible position to give and receive love and respect but the women u come across today are usually against this picture because they want to screw whoever they want, whenever they want, however they want men are still the same, they are still providing and protecting, and working, and giving women the things they deeply desire however women are not giving men what they used to give us.. women are not women anymore.. they aren't offering what women are supposed to offer men if u tell women not to be out there having sex with guys, they will basically cuss you out and tell you you're old fashioned and you need to get with the modern times where women can be respectable whores lol.. if you tell them they should encourage their man they will say "he should be able to encourage himself" .. if you say "submit" you will get the tongue lashing of a lifetime but then if u turn around and say "women are all loose these days" a woman will say "not all women are like that" if you say "women aren't women anymore" they will say "you're wrong" yet neither her, nor any of her female friends and family are wholesome virtuous women you can't say "not all women are crappy today" and also say "virtuous women are a thing of the past" and have them both be true but women try to say both all the time i've noticed if u tell the truth about women .. a woman will say "i'm not like that" but..... A. if u ask her if she's ever had a friend with benefits she will say yes and B. if you're not like that then why are you defending the women who ARE like that? (smells fishy if u ask me) i've noticed women count on men to be good because for women, good men are like a safety net, especially in recent times where trump is removing programs and benefits that many women depended on being "independent" loses its luster when you are working 40 hours paycheck to paycheck and coming home to multiple screaming children with no help so again, women depend on men to be good- but the best way for women to make sure there are good men for them is for them to save themselves for a good man.. otherwise.... look let me put it like this say there is a knight in shining armor ready to kill the dragon for a woman's hand in marriage if the woman is submissive, pure, a good cook, caters to her man, has a pretty face, nice body, and knows how to encourage her man.. bro will have no problems slaying that dragon with gusto in the most dangerous of circumstances however if the woman is a stank attitude having, loose skank, with a ton of emotional baggage, hangups, and two kids from other men... bro is going to take off his armor and go back to bed and sometimes i think this is what people mean when they say "men aren't being men anymore" because men are still men.. but the reality is many men feel they have nothing to fight for today and actually this is a tactic of the ruling elite.. if u take away a man's reason to fight, you no longer have to worry about there being strong men to rise up against you.. ruling elites have literally used this tactic against people for centuries i saw a documentary that talked about it but anyway my whole point i wanted to make here was basically this all women want to line up for that good man with everything going for himself, but no women want to line up for the learning how to submit, practicing abstinence, or just plain finding out what a good man truly wants out of a woman women think they are just good women deserving of the best men when that just isn't the case imo, women should ask married men, "what made u choose this woman over that one?" and after a while the picture will paint itself The Lord spoke to me through this one A LOT I was LEGIT having a hard time.. I was being tormented in my mind again which is something that to be honest seems to happen to me quite a bit, which- now that I think about it- is likely why when I write songs I always write from such a negative perspective even though I am very blessed The battle is in the mind I suppose People sometimes ask me in different ways- why is your outlook so bleak? To be honest it just seems to follow me.. that's why I like Solomon in the Bible because he saw the uselessness of so many things and that is something I relate to One other thing I like about this message is it spoke to me specifically so I have to thank God for that because that’s what I’ve been needing.. I say it was specific because I was getting confirmations while listening to it Prior to listening to this, all God basically said to me a few times was “Lot’s wife” and so I started listening to stuff on her today and this one was super on point this video below spoke to me SO much... if it wasn't for youtube.. the narcssist, jezebel, borderline, gaslighthing, and projection insight and information would be something only experts have the youtube community has really been a great blessing to me as it has provided me with an understanding of what was going on as well as a way to fight it in the future
the primary way to fight abusive people and people with personality disorders is to get away from those people.. if they say something u don't like then walk away.. when u engage then they win no matter what... because they have taught you a little bit more what will happen if u disagree, they have chipped a little more off of your sense of self.. they have devalued u just a little bit more the whole reason you are vulnerable is because you care.. "care" to those people with personality disorders is like their version of fuel to feed off of you i told my sister my last rel taught me that you have to be mean.. she said i was mistaken and there is no reason to be mean.. i disagree... Jesus said: "Not everyone that saith unto me Lord, Lord shall enter into the kingdom of heaven" .... think of your life in that way also.. realize not everyone who says they are in your corner is really in your corner i don't want to make it seem like victims of people with personality disorders are perfect tho.. our issue as codependents is that we want the person too much- giving them undeserved loyalty.. allowing them to push past our boundaries, we misdiagnose their issues (like saying they have defense mechanisms when in reality they are offensive ways to gain control), we overlook their issues and/or attacks to our own detriment (think samson and delilah), we also compromise ourselves and our own beliefs to make them happy (yet they are never happy) we believe that person will leave us if we don't live up to their standard and that is true- but in framing thoughts this way- you are no longer thinking about or addressing your own standards.. another codependent "drive" to hold on is essentially a lack of faith in God's ability to provide another (better, mentally healthier, more attractive) person if said maniac actually leaves in the end... i say do not put up with psychological and/or emotional abuse.. when i say don't put up with it- i mean.. take your concept of loneliness and throw it away... don't EVER IN YOUR LIFE think "if they leave i'll be sad" or anything like that... that is the thought that keeps you unhappy, not the PEACE and QUIET that ensues after the maniac has left the building life and death are in the power of the tongue.. so let me ask u a question is the glass half empty or half full? aka is your solitude a melancholy deafening silence? or a serene refuge and a newfound freedom? you decide one thing i really liked that the pastor of my church recently said was, you can forgive and still be hurt
a lot of times we feel like, if we are hurt, then we can't forgive but the sin is in unforgiveness, there is no sin in feeling hurt by something a person did to you this was a great word, i look at it like a license to process your own feelings and let a person off the hook hurt and unforgiveness don't have to go hand in hand.. even though they seem to be next of kin, they can be worlds apart this post has nothing to do with what she talks about in the video im legit only posting this cuz this woman is GORGEOUS to me maaaaaan smh she better hope i never see her in kroger cuz i'ma kidnap her immediately |
James Arthurnew speak, true speak Archives
December 2017
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