this video below spoke to me SO much... if it wasn't for youtube.. the narcssist, jezebel, borderline, gaslighthing, and projection insight and information would be something only experts have the youtube community has really been a great blessing to me as it has provided me with an understanding of what was going on as well as a way to fight it in the future
the primary way to fight abusive people and people with personality disorders is to get away from those people.. if they say something u don't like then walk away.. when u engage then they win no matter what... because they have taught you a little bit more what will happen if u disagree, they have chipped a little more off of your sense of self.. they have devalued u just a little bit more the whole reason you are vulnerable is because you care.. "care" to those people with personality disorders is like their version of fuel to feed off of you i told my sister my last rel taught me that you have to be mean.. she said i was mistaken and there is no reason to be mean.. i disagree... Jesus said: "Not everyone that saith unto me Lord, Lord shall enter into the kingdom of heaven" .... think of your life in that way also.. realize not everyone who says they are in your corner is really in your corner i don't want to make it seem like victims of people with personality disorders are perfect tho.. our issue as codependents is that we want the person too much- giving them undeserved loyalty.. allowing them to push past our boundaries, we misdiagnose their issues (like saying they have defense mechanisms when in reality they are offensive ways to gain control), we overlook their issues and/or attacks to our own detriment (think samson and delilah), we also compromise ourselves and our own beliefs to make them happy (yet they are never happy) we believe that person will leave us if we don't live up to their standard and that is true- but in framing thoughts this way- you are no longer thinking about or addressing your own standards.. another codependent "drive" to hold on is essentially a lack of faith in God's ability to provide another (better, mentally healthier, more attractive) person if said maniac actually leaves in the end... i say do not put up with psychological and/or emotional abuse.. when i say don't put up with it- i mean.. take your concept of loneliness and throw it away... don't EVER IN YOUR LIFE think "if they leave i'll be sad" or anything like that... that is the thought that keeps you unhappy, not the PEACE and QUIET that ensues after the maniac has left the building life and death are in the power of the tongue.. so let me ask u a question is the glass half empty or half full? aka is your solitude a melancholy deafening silence? or a serene refuge and a newfound freedom? you decide
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James Arthurnew speak, true speak Archives
December 2017
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