i found a lot of old footage on a cd-r i had... i don't know how i converted it from the hi-8 recorder to cd-r but whatever i did made the sound not come out but here's footage of me on stage back about 10 or 11 yrs ago what i used to do was go do a "preliminary" show at a bar or a writer's night before doing a bigger show with my peers.. this was one of those "preliminary" shows so whenever i did these i typically had a "real" show the next day.. i did this to get the jitters out
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i just want to talk about this
like a week or two ago i asked a girl why she didn't consider me to be boyfriend material and she told me i'm too religious this really kinda put me in a weird mood i can't say it made me sad or anything, but it just put me in a weird state ok here's my side on my website is where i am most opinionated.. this site is where i just say anything.. so i understand how someone would think i am insufferable if they come to my website.. i completely understand that but what i don't get is how someone can say i'm "too religious" when in real life all i do is accept people and try to show them love and try to be cool with them on this site i am critical of many things and people.. but in real life i am madd laid back i never dissed her for any of her actions.. most girls tell me things that i don't really need to know about their past sex lives or about their partying and indiscriminate behavior but i never tell them they are dirty, i never tell them they are in sin, i never tell them i'm better than them, i never do anything of the sort i try not to be self righteous.. i try to just let people do what they do because i don't feel its my place to tell another person how to live their life so this is why i say it put me in a weird mood.. because all i've done for this particular girl is show her love no matter what.. in every situation i've tried my best and she says i'm "too religious" and she went on to say "you go to church every sunday, i only go once or twice a month" i fail to see how that's a big deal like so what- i like going to church, how is that a bad thing? i'm not doing it because i feel like i have to- i go because i like hearing what the Lord is going to say and i like being around other people who honor the Lord that doesn't make me "religious" that makes me a person who prioritizes church lol.. like she made me sound like some type of fanatic and i don't know maybe she was referring to sex because i think its for marriage but this is the same person who told me she was tired of guys who only want one thing from her so i don't really get what would be so bad about me wanting to keep things in the proper context this thing has made me realize many women don't know what they want at all.. they say they want a guy who wants something real beyond just physical but they meet that guy and tell him he's a nerd or he's "too religious" i am not too religious, i am so down to earth its crazy.. i am madd opinionated but i'm only this way on the website- in my everyday life i am madd chill about everything and i never point fingers at people.. 99% of the time when people are sinning, i think they already know it- so there is no point in me trying to tell them to stop and i have my own issues i have to deal with so how do i look trying to tell someone how to live their life? i don't walk around talking about church stuff all day every day, i talk about regular things just as much as bible things.. so i just don't get how someone can say i'm too religious but people know i don't smoke or drink or do many of the things most people do- but that doesn't mean i'm too religious, that just means i'm doing me why do people feel judged just because i don't participate in the same things they participate in? but a part of me just feels like that was something she just said off the top of her head because she is looking for something else.. like maybe someone with darker skin, or maybe someone with more money, or maybe someone taller, or whatever i kinda feel like we are just dealing with a low level of attraction, as in she is not really feeling me overall.. and that was the only thing she could think to say but i just feel like- if she really does think i'm too religious.. that is a wrong way of thinking because you should want a spouse who is God-fearing.. you shouldn't desire one who is like "oh Jesus? yeah i can take him or leave him" that would be a recipe for disaster imo its an easy way to waste time because a man who isn't God-fearing probably isn't trying to commit in a world where women are freely giving up booty but either way- no matter what these chicks are saying or doing, it doesn't matter.. i just have to stay prayed up and keep it movin they can think what they want- i'm not going to change for them.. as a matter of fact, i'm going to church right now peaCe this video is super real.. that guy didn't care AT ALL lol
this is not me being racist- this is just stuff to think about
i am not racist and i am aware its "not all" white people.. i am speaking in general terms also i want to make this clear.. i say "white" and "black" but i resent those terms because we are more than color, we are culture, history, belief, and conduct.. reducing people to colors is a complete joke.. i feel that categorizing people to a color is dehumanizing as it is a denial of human individuality, connection, and dynamism... i am just saying "white" and "black" so that i can get to the point quicker 1. they don't think racism exists i don't know what they think is going on in society sometimes.. it is royally annoying when a white person says something racist and acts like its not racist some guy at my job for example said trayvon martin shouldn't have dressed like a gangster if he wasn't a gangster.. i fail to see how wearing a hooded sweatshirt is gangster when pretty much everyone wears those at some point i also fail to see how a person can defend the killing of an unarmed teen if i hadn't grown up as the only black person going to my middle school and high school in michigan then i wouldn't have been prepared for the weird racist comments i hear at work they bounce off of me because i grew up dealing with those types of comments and sentiments all the time i've heard it all- from "james looks like snoop dogg" to "rap sucks but i like eminem" 2. white men have extremely narrow beauty standards.. white guys are so quick to call a woman fat or say she has cellulite or say "she's brunette, i like blonde" or say "i don't date girls who aren't white" or blah blah blah ok well then build a factory where nothing but pamela anderson comes out.. but remember- she has hepatitis c... so have fun with that have you ever been to a video game review site and noticed they nit-picked games to death? if so, then you've seen how they just complain about everything to the point where you just want to ask them if they even like video games at all that's what white guys remind me of- their standards of beauty are so narrow that it is just overboard "she's fat, yuck!" women are supposed to have more body fat than men 3. they make fun of urban slang and then 3yrs later they use it in everyday conversations btw before someone tries to make this a race thing- i have talked about black people and asian people on this site as well as males and females.. so understand this is not racist because it is not isolated criticism of one group- these are just things i've seen.. again- not all (I feel so strongly about this that I actually didn’t wait to get home… instead I wrote and published this at work)
Have you ever heard a woman say “women won’t like you if” ? This is one of the most annoying things to me it is manipulative because the women who say it are secretly just wishing all men would do this particular thing so they are telling you women won’t like you if you don’t do it also it is a lie. It’s just a flat-out lie because I’ve had women like me despite my lack of compliance to these sorts of statements here’s an example of a “women won’t like you if” I have had women tell me that women won’t like me if I don’t dance, which is not true AT ALL some of you (if you follow my site) may remember in the past I talked about my sister hitting me with a “women won’t like you if” statement because I don’t open car doors or buy women gifts or anything.. those things are for show.. those types of things are surface value a guy can open your car door and then 3 months later tell you to abort the child you have together I don’t care about those stupid types of things.. I’m not going to open a girl’s car door so she can safely get out and walk with me into steak n’ shake.. she is an adult who can open a car door herself.. me walking over there to do that is not logical.. just like going big for a first date is not logical- because I could go big and you could still never call me again I will never understand why women want to dress up and get flowers and go to ruth chris on a FIRST DATE.. even if a guy did that- women would never appreciate it or value it- they would just think he is a lame who is trying to buy their affection Women try to scare us men with “women won’t like you if” statements all the time The part that offends me so much is the fact that……….. Well the first reason is because they are not focusing on themselves. Women who know everything men should be doing are usually scumbags themselves The second and main reason is because of this…. I DON’T LIVE TO PLEASE WOMEN!!!!!! I am not here to be some woman’s dancing jester for amusement. I will take a woman out and pay for her dinner.. but I am not going to change who I inherently am, or my beliefs or change my personal dislikes into ‘likes’ for a woman I am not here to follow a woman, or bend over backwards for her, or appeal to her every whim I just wish women would understand this about me.. when they say “women won’t like you if you don’t blah blah blah” THAT DOES NOT SCARE ME AT ALL Do you really think I live to please women? Idiot, I don’t give a CRAP what women think.. I have tried to impress women for all of my 20s and nothing ever worked.. women can go try to impress themselves at this point I don’t care if women in the modern day dating pool are happy with me or not, they can go continue doing the stupid things they’ve been doing for the past 10 or 15 years.. screwing men who don’t care anything about them.. getting abortions.. getting std’s.. they can go talk to their girlfriends and get validated when making stupid decisions.. they can keep rejecting good guys calling them nerds and geeks.. they can keep smoking cigarettes and getting tattoos.. they can keep wasting years of their life.. they can keep plastering their bodies all over Instagram.. they can keep bragging and acting like their lives are perfect.. they can keep thinking I am a worthless man who is not worth 5 minutes of their time.. I don’t care anymore.. I am trying my hardest right now not to say I don’t care whether they live or die Bottom line is- I am 31yrs old, and I am done trying to change, or alter myself, or live up to the ever-changing whims of women If women don’t like me for who I am they can kick rocks.. so to you women saying things like “women won’t like you if” DON’T WASTE YOUR BREATH BECAUSE WOMEN IN THE DATING POOL TODAY ARE LARGELY USELESS MORONIC WHORES THAT STATEMENT HASN’T BEEN FRIGHTENING TO ME IN YEARS.. “ooooooh women won’t like me I’m shakin in my boots!” LOL oh no- worthless feminist independent contentious skanks with bad taste won’t like me, let me jump off a building! Yyyyyeah that stupid “threat” means nothing to me, or most men in general today- try again. i feel like one of the quickest ways to describe the differences between men and women is this
men are black and white women are gray area with men.. most things are just black and white.. we don't really waste too much time on details we are more like 1 + 2 = 3 with women they seem to exist in the gray areas where they are saying "well consider this consider that" while i think both methods have value- (mostly in child rearing) i must say i do get annoyed with women trying to make me 'understand' things that are stupid sometimes.. like if i was to say "no one should be a transvestite" then a woman would be the one to say something dumb like "who are you to judge?" at which point i never question myself or my beliefs, i just question her, her motives, and i become aware that she is defending immorality sometimes women are so "gray area" that they end up considering and accepting things that are stupid- i.e. feminism.. their "gray area" nature is what makes them gullible you have to have limits in life- i think this is why men are the natural born leaders because we typically have discernment and the ability to give a stern "NO" while women are the ones who are saying "maybe" but that maybe is an open door its the same thing that happened in the garden of eden.. eve was gray area.. if the serpent had approached adam first then adam probably would've been like "ok first why are you talking because you are an animal.. second, why are you lying to me, third if the fruit is so good then YOU eat it.. fourth..." but unfortunately eve's weak spot appeared to be her gray area open door.. and adam's weak spot appeared to be that he was willing to compromise for eve.. both were unfortunately disobedient to the Lord so while i think both approaches are important (like i said, especially in child rearing).. i can see why men are called to be the head of the family.. because men will be the ones to close those doors that should be closed to help protect that family.. they won't give as much room to the 'maybes' that come to destroy people women are the ones who say things like "maybe my son should be gay" men are the ones who are like "if you do something gay i'm going to punch you in the throat" so men, make sure you are getting women with some sense, and women who are submissive so that you can lead your family in the right directions the way you should without nonsensical resistance and defiance i ran across a video of phyllis hyman one day like a few weeks ago and ever since then i've been watching a lot of her interviews and peeping her music i never knew who she was until recently.. she just appeared interesting to me when i saw her.. then i read a comment that said she died.. then i saw on her wikipedia that she killed herself back in like 95' she puts modern singers to shame.. her voice was definitely on point.. to me she seems like the last batch of older style singers.. she seemed like the new old or the old new when she was recording in the 80s one thing i like about her is she reminds me of myself because in every interview it seems like she talks about dating and men and how they are intimidated and how she is lonely etc. i feel like i do the same thing.. i talk about women and how they are brainwashed by feminism and they make bad decisions and shun guidance and i can't get a date even though i feel like i have a lot to offer there's a certain duality to these types of discussions on one hand, things are so crazy and weird in the dating world, that discourse is pure comedy on the other hand there can be a serious sadness or loneliness underneath the surface but i feel like one of the main differences between her and i is the fact that while she probably had legit feelings of sadness- i have legit feelings of anger i don't really internalize the behavior of the opposite sex the way i used to anymore.. these days i can see that women are primarily at fault for the breakdown of relationships or the lack of relationships i no longer really feel sadness- i just straight up feel anger because i feel that women have become rotten and useless due to feminism and their own ignorance or lack of guidance.. i've heard women say "not all women are feminist" but even non feminist women are still unknowingly feminist in word and deed because feminists and their independent "don't do anything nice for a man" ideals have permeated our collective consciousness as a nation what i mean is- women are acting as feminists would without knowing it.. the serpent was the most subtle creature in the garden feminism has subtly ruined most women.. not just loud feminists who are picketing and ranting... but most women as a whole my litmus test is the word "submission" if you say something about a wife submitting to her husband and a woman has a lot to say- like a lot of disclaimers and excuses.. then she is one of THEM. but overall i wanted to say phyllis hyman was wildly talented and i love how she considered both herself and the opposite sex as a whole.. i feel like thats what i do on this site a lot when i talk about the state of dating today you can tell she was just trying to figure things out this is my first time seeing this.. i can't believe this is real so far so good peeps- my car is phenomenal..
it has a black interior which i like way more than my previous "tan" interior.. the bluetooth functionality works way better than i expected.. i legit wasn't even going to set all that stuff up but my dad pushed me to do it.. when u get in the car the music picks up where it left off on your phone by itself.. (i will prob mostly use a thumb drive in the usb port for music tho once i get everything loaded onto it) when someone calls, the music stops and u can just talk and u hear their voice on the speakers.. the first time i received a call i was really surprised at how it works.. and the call was from ciarra so that made it even better lol it also has the camera for reverse.. and my particular package for this car has a turbo charged engine.. while it can take 87 fuel, they recommend 91.. what i love about the engine is its 4 cylinder meaning it has good gas mileage.. but at the same time with the turbo boost- you can really get out the starting blocks and feel the muscle a lot of these things i've mentioned are basically surprises to me because i didn't even know the car had all these features when i bought it one other neat thing is at night the dash has a red glow around it i definitely believe this car came to me from the Lord's hand.. i say this because everything has gone so well.. i mean i legit found this car at the first place my dad and i went to look.. i mean legit everything has been very smooth.. and i have wanted a car for a while now so its just insane to have these things transpire this way index 2 da sky brah if i was to say anything from a biblical standpoint- i would say remember that the Lord will reward you openly for those things you do in secret.. so make sure to be in good standing with God when no one is looking.. those moments are where you can show God your dedication and maybe He will hold you down with whatever you desire or what you've been praying for and i'm only saying this cuz i know someone reading this might be in need of something- so that is my advice to u if its worth anything peaCe |
I just made varsity...its good business Archives
December 2016
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