not drinking coffee has been great so far i found myself eating more.. which i think is my body wanting energy.. i was getting a lot of energy from the caffeine in coffee i guess.. but now that i'm not drinking coffee i have been hungrier.. just wanting more food... they say caffeine is an appetite suppressant so it makes sense i guess.. i don't know what this means for my body exactly quite yet i also have been drinking a lot more water... when i was drinking coffee, sometimes i would force myself to drink water.. but now i just grab water and drink it naturally.. i was at work last week pouring cups of water and drinking them because that is what my body wanted.. which never really was a thing when i was drinking coffee i also started sleeping better.. in the past i could only really sleep if i went to the gym.. but now that i'm not drinking coffee my body has been going into deeper sleep and i've been having more dreams... as a general rule i believe things that makes u stop dreaming are negative because God sometimes talks to people in dreams.. i'm not saying this 100% across the board, but i definitely feel like its something to think about i have looked online to see other people who quit caffeine and one funny thing is- in the past when i looked online, all i saw were things where people said coffee is beneficial.. and now that i've quit, when i look i can find the ones where people are saying coffee is negative.. i don't really think that's a coincidence.. i imagine if the enemy sees you reaching for positive information he may try to stop you or sabotage you somehow.. so we have to be persistent in our pursuit of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding anyway... the drinking water thing is so new to me.. when u drink coffee you just don't really get thirsty.. and that dehydration leads to anger.. my worst anger was i think 2010-2013.. i would just notice something small- like someone making a noise or something and i'd want to punch them in the back of the head or something.. i mean it was bad.. i sometimes noticed it, but then again sometimes i overlooked it and it got the best of me i was just angry a lot.. impatient, short fuse, whatever u want to call it... so drinking water like a normal person is nuts to me.. like actually being thirsty is something i forgot about... actually being like "i want water" as opposed to "i crave coffee" then drinking a cup of coffee and peeing 4 times in like 2 hours and just sipping water here and there.. and never really feeling actual thirst for water if you could only understand how weird it is for me to desire and drink actual water.. i mean wow i guess i understand now why all the health people tell us we are not drinking enough water.. its not that we don't drink enough water naturally.. its that we are constantly dehydrating ourselves with caffeine one bad thing about addiction is no matter what you always have this little voice saying "you're addicted" and its always mocking you every time you notice a problem that derives from the addiction, that voice is there to mock you ok so moving on- another thing i want to point out is every day what i was doing was making dark coffee and putting creamer and caramel hershey's syrup in it.. so i was taking in a lot of sugar every day.. that was seriously a ton of sugar i was putting in my body every single day i look back and i think wow what was wrong with me? i know it was only like 2 weeks ago but still smh... i was really messed up i am glad i got off all those things i was on.. i was on a lot of things a year ago.. it was subtle tho so i didn't really realize it.. i was taking all types of vitamins and pills and drinking coffee to be awake and taking pills to force myself to sleep, and taking acetaminophen for headaches and taking ibuprofen etc etc.. i mean about a year ago things got bad and i ended up realizing what was going on i started using diff things like "this is my go button" "this is my wake up button" "this is my relax button" etc.. so one day i threw them all out.. because i feel like they mask the underlying problem.. taking a pill a lot of times is like telling your body to shutup as opposed to listening to the problem and fixing it... its like if your car started making a weird noice and instead of going to the shop you just turn your music up louder.. its not really fixing anything and its possibly making things worse so i got all those out of the picture but i still had the coffee and now that the coffee is gone i'm feeling way better not only physically, but also mentally... i'm not having the sinus problems and the plethora of other weird things i had to contend with also i'm glad to be financially free of the coffee thing.. when my addiction was at its worst i remember spending like $76 on espresso no lie.. i went to kroger and filled my cart with espresso, which would've been about 10 4packs and i went home and put them all in the fridge it was ridiculous.. the coffee addiction wasn't as expensive as the espresso addiction, but it has its own set of problems which are a little more subtle.. and in some cases worse than the espresso.. such as teeth staining, and the higher amounts of sugar anyway i know i am talking about this a lot but i just want to lay it to rest i really feel that i am free even though it hasn't been long, i prayed honest prayers here and there to be set free and then i saw an opportunity to try to quit and after those first two days i felt like i saw another opportunity to solidify my progress and on the 3rd day i threw the coffee maker out and i feel like i'm going strong so anyone who actually read all this, if you are addicted to something you can get free trust me, just pray in an honest way acknowledging your weakness and God's strength and power and you can get free.. just pray and when u feel like God gave u the power to take a step then take it... because i didn't really think i could get off coffee like 3 weeks ago
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December 2016
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