i have a lot of entries to write but i haven't really been in the mood to write them..
but i just finished watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind for the first time its weird because this movie is like 10 yrs old or so now and i've always been a little curious about it.. i'm not a big movie person so i didn't really think about it much.. but like whenever i saw the movie at a store or something i wondered what it was about don't read any further if you haven't seen the movie yet so basically my main word for the movie is "beautiful" the cinematography reminded me of "the wackness" and the ending / lesson / wrap-up / message reminded me of "american beauty" jim carey's character reminded me of myself i saw a thing on robin williams once where someone was talking about him after he died and they said he was not comfortable one on one, he always seemed more at home when he was performing.. they said sometimes when they were alone with robin, like on an elevator or something- it was as if robin williams shut down.. as if he didn't know what to say or how to act or how to carry himself.. but when he had at least like 3 people around him, he would sort of light back up i loved hearing that because it made me feel more normal in my own skin because i feel like i'm the opposite.. but somehow i took it as a license for that to be ok.. deep down i've never really felt ok about my disposition.. the fact is, like i said.. i'm like the opposite of robin williams because if i'm around a group of people- i no longer know how to really act.. its like i shut down.. i'm a lot better one on one or maybe "one on two" but any more than that and i'm not exactly comfortable usually.. and i tend to turn down invites out with a lot of people so what i'm saying here is- that is how jim carey's character was.. he was like me in that he wasn't a social butterfly at all.. he was more awkward than me tho.. i mean he was so awkward that it was like almost ridiculous.. so i could relate but i think he was also a bit exaggerated.. which isn't bad, but i'm just saying and honestly, i think clem was exaggerated as well.. she was really outgoing to a point where.. let's put it like this- i don't think women go out of their way to talk to quiet men the way she did in the movie.. but i am not bashing the exaggeration, it wasn't bad.. i'm just pointing it out i guess part of the reason i am talking about their personalities is because the movie really reminded me of my past relationship with chrissy in that relationship i was the quiet reserved guy and she was the open, fun, social girl a lot of people probably couldn't figure out why she liked me.. because to everyone else i was just this quiet boring dude, but i think i was what she needed to feel secure.. and she was what i needed to feel some excitement and variety the movie really reminded me of us and at the end when they were in the hallway and clem was like "we get along now but we obviously won't for long" or whatever then jim carey said "ok" i almost wanted to cry lol.. i didn't cry or anything but .... the way they ended that was so well done because anyone who has lost a good relationship over some bs knows the significance of that ending.. i mean you get mad at each other and you say all these mean-spirited things when you're in the moment but when it's all said and done.. you know you loved that person and that person loved you and you wish you would've worked it out with them that whole last segment where he was playing his tape outloud was crazy because it just brought everything in perspective.. you can choose to focus in on the bad parts or you can focus in on your love and chemistry and drown out the bad parts... but we don't always have the wisdom and foresight to just appreciate and love and cherish what is in front of us that last word "ok" was just phenomenal to me.. "ok" clem has stupid hair.. but that's ok jim carey is boring.. but that's ok the list could go on you should hold on to your love and not disregard it anyway.. basically.. the movie was beautiful.. i would definitely recommend it.. for me its not something i think i would want to watch over and over... for me it seems like something you want to watch and then marinate on and discuss with other people this movie was fairly well-written and it makes me want to write a movie script of my own i actually have an idea for one.. the premise is an online dating romantic comedy except instead of it being mushy, it would be artistic... so i would do a no sex scene and no kissing policy on it.. this way the love is shown through interaction and not physical intimacy but anyway.. it would be an online dating artistic romantic comedy and what would happen is a girl would be tired of attracting men who are not genuine, so she gets an idea to post on her page that she is like 2 months pregnant even tho she isn't so she can ward off men who are unwilling to accept her in this terrible position so she finally meets a guy and they hit it off and she is always trying to keep up this facade of being pregnant... but the guy passes her test almost too well to the point where then she is worried if she tells him the truth he will be disappointed... there are a lot of other details but that's the jist of it i always come up with movie ideas out of nowhere.. for years i've come up with movie ideas, one day i'd love to write a movie i kid you not anyway eternal sunshine was great.. it wasn't perfect... but it really is one of those movies where you marinate on it for a while after it ends i feel like... what is love without wisdom? i mean every "second chance" you get at love is an opportunity to go at it from a wiser perspective it would be nice if we had wisdom the first time around... because some of us honestly don't get a second chance
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December 2016
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