i was just watching dr phil and he said there's no exact timeline for grief however there is a progression cycle that one goes through
this is concerning something like a loss, or a trauma, or like u know, someone breaking up with u or something he said first ur gonna go through shock and denial and after that ends u will go through a depression and darkness then after that u will experience strong feelings of anger after this ends then u begin to come to terms with the situation and where u are and u can accept what happened, maybe not be happy about it but still at least u have come to the end of the grief after trauma process this shed light on my main painful situation in my life........ when my g/f decided to cut me off (could explain this in more detail but i won't) at first it was shock and shock is a weird area to be in because u kinda are like out of your own body in a sense because u just can't feel i remember i was actually like happy when i was in shock, like sad about the pain and what was going on, but my emotions were rather upbeat.. as if my mind and my emotions separated for a time once this ended then i fell into a dark depression.. like nothing made sense anymore, like someone had turned out a light inside of my soul and it was like i could still see however in a sense, everything was black and meaningless i always tried to say i was fine verbally, but inside was a completely different story.. it was really hard.. i felt like all the life had been squeezed out of me then came a period of anger i kept having visions of pushing her off a cliff or some ish LOL.. but looking back i realize it represented me pushing her out of my mind the anger for me in this particular situation was like my pride dying.. like i couldn't believe how little i mattered to her anymore so it was like whether i got good or bad attention didn't matter, i just wanted to affect her because i felt extremely abandoned/ignored/unimportant which resulted in anger then after this i just kinda was like.. "oh well" and i began feeling normal again, like my heart had finally stitched itself back together and i got reacquainted with myself i'm sure some of u all can relate!
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JaimsThese are my blogs from 2009. I started them in May of that year when I couldn't work on music but still needed a way to express myself. Archives
December 2009
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