i am just writing this because i want to raise consciousness and awareness of this manipulative tactic.. i also figure why not purge this tidbit when you run into manipulative people they can throw you off but if you know what to look for then you can be ready for what they dish out recently i heard about a thing called darvo.. this stands for deny, attack, reverse victim and offender i haven't studied this at all, however i still want to speak on it because for one it seems self explanatory, and for two, my ex did this to me on the last day of 2016 i remember on the last day of 2016 we went to church well she took offense to everything so in the car on the way to church i said to her "i asked so and so what they would do with a million dollars and they said..." and she got upset she said "why don't you ask me questions like that?" that's what i mean when i say she took offense to everything.. something that small made her upset so because of this, when we got in church she didn't sit next to me so when we left i was heated and i was going to break up with her for disrespecting me that way.. what kind of woman comes somewhere with you and doesn't sit next to you? well she noticed this and she flipped it on me with what i now know is darvo deny, attack, reverse victim and offender once she noticed how angry i was, she denied wrongdoing, then attacked me (can also be deflection) then she went to work on reversing the victim and the offender roles i was the victim with the right to be angry, so she started acting like she was the one who should be upset i'm obviously taking her home and she says something like "you can take me home" acting unbothered acting like she's had enough of my antics smh she even ended up saying something like "we can break up and start the new year single" now looking at it today and understanding manipulative tactics and understanding darvo and all that stuff, it looks obvious.. but at the time i was disarmed i wish i would've just stuck to my original plan of breaking up with her but her reverse psychology threw me way off.. it was like being angry at someone and as soon as they notice it, they act like they're the angry one so they won't have to be on the defense, and this subconsciously throws you into "let's work it out" mode i did realize i was manipulated later on but i didn't give it much further thought by then.. and that is what a narcissist counts on, they count on you just putting their abuse behind you, because it allows them to continue to escape accountability... but recently when i heard someone explain darvo, it added validity to my thoughts and feelings concerning the experience so anyway.. that was what happened that day, and it's a really embarassing thing for me to acknowledge.. its legitimately embarassing for me to say how much i was manipulated... but if this helps one man then i don't regret writing this so to any man reading this... look out for manipulation look out for reverse psychology and look out for that darvo because if you fall for it, chances are whatever comes next won't be pretty because that manipulative person knows they escaped discipline here's a video on darvo.. its not necessary to watch, i just thought why not add a video here for the sake of convenience.. just quick and easy further reference if you're interested basically
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enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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