i was talking to my cousin's husband a week ago and i like how honest he was as we were having conversation
he was telling me about his life and he said "before i met my wife, i'm not proud of it but i was a whoremonger"
dude kept it so real
so many people would have sugarcoated it with "u know, i was dippin and dabbling" or something
or if it had to do with drugs they would say "i experimented a little" knowing they were poppin them thangs like pez tablets lol
this man just came out and said "i was a whoremonger"
man that was so funny to me but i appreciate and respect his realness, honesty, and willingness to call a thing a thing, especially when looking at himself
i like that guy a lot
if i met him on the street somewhere i'd be trying to get one of my female friends or family members to date him
a really upstanding guy if you ask me.. i'm glad my cousin got a good guy
usually when women in the family bring men around, you can't help but think wow you could've done better than this.. maybe not in looks but in character
(but on second thought, maybe they can't do better because they're not where they should be as women, and therefore can't tolerate a man with a pure heart and upstanding character)
anyway, every time i see bro he keeps it 100 and he shows respect.. i got a lot of love for him and i hope only good comes to him and his family
i keep seeing people online saying there's no such thing as too far or too personal in rap beef
they keep citing rap beef from the 90s
considering 2pac and big both died in their 20s
THERE IS A SUCH THING AS TOO FAR
i am just writing this because i want to raise consciousness and awareness of this manipulative tactic.. i also figure why not purge this tidbit
when you run into manipulative people they can throw you off but if you know what to look for then you can be ready for what they dish out
recently i heard about a thing called darvo.. this stands for
deny, attack, reverse victim and offender
i haven't studied this at all, however i still want to speak on it because for one it seems self explanatory, and for two, my ex did this to me on the last day of 2016
i remember on the last day of 2016 we went to church
well she took offense to everything
so in the car on the way to church i said to her
"i asked so and so what they would do with a million dollars and they said..."
and she got upset
she said "why don't you ask me questions like that?"
that's what i mean when i say she took offense to everything.. something that small made her upset
so because of this, when we got in church she didn't sit next to me
so when we left i was heated and i was going to break up with her for disrespecting me that way.. what kind of woman comes somewhere with you and doesn't sit next to you?
well she noticed this and she flipped it on me with what i now know is darvo
deny, attack, reverse victim and offender
once she noticed how angry i was, she denied wrongdoing, then attacked me (can also be deflection)
then she went to work on reversing the victim and the offender roles
i was the victim with the right to be angry, so she started acting like she was the one who should be upset
i'm obviously taking her home and she says something like "you can take me home"
acting like she's had enough of my antics smh
she even ended up saying something like "we can break up and start the new year single"
now looking at it today and understanding manipulative tactics and understanding darvo and all that stuff, it looks obvious.. but at the time i was disarmed
i wish i would've just stuck to my original plan of breaking up with her but her reverse psychology threw me way off.. it was like being angry at someone and as soon as they notice it, they act like they're the angry one so they won't have to be on the defense, and this subconsciously throws you into "let's work it out" mode
i did realize i was manipulated later on but i didn't give it much further thought by then.. and that is what a narcissist counts on, they count on you just putting their abuse behind you, because it allows them to continue to escape accountability... but recently when i heard someone explain darvo, it added validity to my thoughts and feelings concerning the experience
so anyway.. that was what happened that day, and it's a really embarassing thing for me to acknowledge.. its legitimately embarassing for me to say how much i was manipulated... but if this helps one man then i don't regret writing this
so to any man reading this...
look out for manipulation
look out for reverse psychology
and look out for that darvo
because if you fall for it, chances are whatever comes next won't be pretty
because that manipulative person knows they escaped discipline
here's a video on darvo.. its not necessary to watch, i just thought why not add a video here for the sake of convenience.. just quick and easy further reference if you're interested basically
"Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it."
i'm no preacher but this is my opinion:
there's no point dating or getting in relationships at all unless you feel like the Lord is the one behind it
there's no point in looking for someone online
there's no point in talking to anyone at a grocery store
there's no point in going to a club or bar
there's no point in wearing yourself out to impress the opposite sex
the Bible tells you to delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart
He will give you the desires of your heart, in other words you will not get them on your own and if you do get your desires on your own chances are they will come at a price
you might as well just pray, do what the Lord tells you to do, and be patient
ok so in the first entry i explained that my ex grew up without any type of financial privilege but she still acted like a spoiled brat and an entitled child
so i explained how an unprivileged woman was still able to grow up without emotional maturity
in that first one the reason i gave was because she was not properly disciplined with the belt, the rod, spankings, etc
now we're at part 2.. the second reason why a woman may still be spoiled even though she didn't have much growing up is because of..............
HER GOOD LOOKS
these women are approached by men nonstop.. online and offline
this stuff can really go to their heads.. this is imo one huge reason why women are not into commitment these days... they say they are because it makes them look mature and responsible but the reality is women are ruining relationships left and right
this is why many women will say things like "no guy has ever broken up with me before" .. because more often than not, they are the ones who decide to leave..... this is also why 80% of divorces are initiated by women..
they are fickle and they feel that they have infinite options
they always think there's something better right around the corner
ask yourself, what does your best mean to someone who feels they can replace you in less than 24 hours?
let me say that again...
WHAT DOES YOUR BEST MEAN TO SOMEONE WHO FEELS THEY CAN REPLACE YOU IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS?
women skate by through life because of their looks.. and i don't even just mean because they are sexually attractive, i also mean because people assume women are innocent more often than not
they can stab someone and dodge sentencing because even when they are the perpetrator of a crime they oftentimes are still portrayed as the victim
over time, a woman's looks can just flat out ruin her personality... the entitled attitude can just run amok.. especially when you add a college degree or two to the already blazing flames of high mindedness
my ex was GORGEOUS.. and not just pretty, but like legitimately sexually desirable
she told me one day "people have been telling me i'm pretty my whole life"
it was one of those moments where you think in your head "oh, that explains it"
these women just begin to believe their own hype.. all the men who approach them, all the men who compliment them, all the females who envy them, all the preferential treatment they receive, all the attention, all the help, the deference, all the politeness, the general ease that is afforded to them
let's face it, a lot of these beautiful women might as well be celebrities with the way they are treated and handled in our society
this causes many women over time to be arrogant, entitled, difficult, and spoiled
one quick thing i want to point out that i've noticed is that spoiled and entitled women are oftentimes still nice to the women in their lives but they treat many men like dirt
anyway, i read in a book somewhere that it's important to praise people based on merit as opposed to based on things they have no hand in... good looks unfortunately allow women to be praised based on something they have no hand in.. God gave them those looks, they didn't earn them.. so i guess the problem is that receiving undue praise can cause an imbalance in a person since it is not weighed against a corresponding effort
someone reading this is probably saying "well can't men have this issue too?"
i would say not to the same degree as women for 3 primary reasons
1. men don't have "insta-pretty," aka men don't wear makeup
2. men usually have to work out to be sexually attractive (meanwhile women can forgo the gym and just be thick, plus size, bbw, or even ssbbw and still be sexually desirable)
3. women don't approach men nearly as much as men approach women
so anyway.. that's the jist of part 2.. their good looks have the ability to make them forget the things that may have previously humbled them
if your girl grew up poor but looks amazing, a lot of times that is what is contributing to her haughty attitude, entitled mindset, and spoiled nature
the exchange is supposed to be a woman's virginity for a man's commitment
and today we get neither
this is how terrible women are.. and the government and court systems weaponize these awful women against men
These are some of the ways I’ve found that help you save money
Buy in bulk.. this not only saves money, it also saves time and gas because if you stock up then you go out less to replenish
Get playstation plus.. I got playstation plus and it has given me a ton of games and a lot of them are games I actually wanted to buy.. pay $60/yr and get literally over 20 games
Buy clothes in the off season.. buy summer clothing in fall/winter and buy winter clothes in spring/summer
Don’t spend any money on women.. when you spend money on women they are ungrateful anyway so keep your money
i am so over people and their foul and disrespectful language
i've said this before so this is nothing new but i just want to vent right now
n-word this, b-word that
earlier i heard someone say something like "do you remember that song called queen b*tch?"
30 or 40 yrs ago, calling someone a queen b*tch would've been a huge diss
telling someone "you're the queen of all b*tches" would've been crazy
but today its a compliment
guys in the rap game literally rhyming the n-word with the n-word and people are saying the song is hot
so many songs are about taking someone else's woman and defiling her and giving her back
i tried to listen to that guy tekashi because i saw he was getting popularity so out of curiosity i took a listen.. i skimmed like 4 songs and every single one had parts talking about having sex with someone's girl
if you deleted all subject matter about taking someone else's girl, or smoking weed, or "shooting a ngga" then nearly all these rap albums would just be blank discs
what's with this whole "i'm a savage" crap now? there was a time when people detested being called a savage.. but today?
i sometimes find myself looking at something within the hip hop culture, like an interview or maybe i'll check out a song to see how it sounds but its always full of this awful language
there are very few exceptions.. kb sent me a song from jaden smith called preach and it was fire and it had ZERO cusswords in it
why can't other rappers do that? why does every young black person talk like they just got out of prison?
dang man you dusty rappers are such a disappointment sometimes lol
i'm not even a prude i don't really pay attention to cussing if its here and there- its just the fact that its NON STOP for so many... like dude i heard you say the f-word THE FIRST THIRTY TIMES YOU SAID IT!!!!!!
why is everything so dirty? why is a penis a d***? why is a vagina a p****?
everything is just foul, and there is no shame to any of it
blah, i can't deal
NO WONDER I JUST SIT IN MY APARTMENT LISTENING TO SHOEGAZE!!!!
I didn't like this diss
i have no bias in this because drake irritates me with his pandering to women and pusha irritates me with the way he acts in interviews sometimes
the reason i didn't like this diss from pusha is because i didn't really hear disses, i heard exposing and personal things
drake mentioned the fact that pusha is engaged in duppy
pusha then took that and used it as justification to just go in on a lot of personal things about drake
i don't agree with pusha making it that personal
when i say that personal- i mean like.. bringing drake's mom into it, and bringing his dad into it
i think the stuff about drake having a child with a porn star is fair game because that's drake's life, but his parents?
drake's parents aren't in the rap game why are you bringing them into it?
drake says something like: "you didn't really sell coke the way you say you did"
pusha says something like: "your mother has never been married"
like that's just weird.. its not even the same "sport" anymore
pusha just took it too far in this to where it's not funny or entertaining.. for example
he had a line where he said if he goes to hell then its worth it.. even as a rap bar, that's just too far.. rap or no rap, you're on wax saying being burned and tortured forever is "worth it?"
another thing he said was that drake's friend 40 is hunched over.. referring to him having multiple sclerosis
you don't even have beef with 40 yet you're making fun of him having a disease?
i don't respect pusha's diss at all
the hidden child thing was fine to me but a lot of the other stuff was ridiculous, absurd, and unnecessary, irrelevant, and too far
if i diss you and i say your raps aren't true, and you diss me back and say "your best friend has a debilitating disease" then its like... that's not a battle anymore, you're just a sick person with issues, and i feel like that's what pusha was basically doing.. it wasn't a good DISS it was just a lot of very low level petty personal attacks
i've noticed some other people feel the same way i felt also.. here's one reaction that seems to encapsulate it