weird things have been happening to me lately.. it seems like peeps keep telling me they're praying for me
it makes me wonder what might be around the corner for me.. why do people feel the need to pray for me? what is on the menu for me in 2018? i am thankful for the prayers i know that 2019 won't be the same as this year.. i don't think i'll have the same job or live in the same place so i know some things are up in the air for me at the moment ++++++++++++++++ i have a certain depression i've been dealing with i think some of the reasons for this are being alone (try finding a wife in this batch of women lol) having somewhat of an identity crisis needing to get out of my current job and some more things... i'll spare you ++++++++++++++++ i really like garlic pills.. if u haven't tried them i recommend trying them out.. i tried some and i don't know exactly what they do but my guess is they help your blood flow all i know is i take them and i feel some sort of boost ++++++++++++++++ my mom recently told me i need to get off the internet, and get out the house, and stop eating like a teenager, and get in the gym, and have some fun in life lol she said one of the best things i did was when i flew out to see angela in seattle a few yrs ago because i did something different for once she said i live in a box she was right to some extent ++++++++++++++++ i have a lot of lyrics right now.. the only issue is i don't have any completed 16s.. i just have a lot of random lines my hope is that i will be able to work compiling my lines into full 16s at work.. i really am just hoping we will have a few moments of down time where i can sit and get everything together i am really wanting to spit something.. i haven't rapped since before grad school ++++++++++++++++ i am soooo tired of my job lately.. i haven't been getting too many call backs from the jobs i've been applying to i want to double my income my current job is super annoying because i work with this guy and any time i mention anything remotely "black" in culture he bashes it like if he were to ask me what albums i was listening to that day.. if i said smashing pumpkins he'd be like oh.. but if i said bone thugs in harmony he would scoff and tell me how bad they are he does this literally like all the time to him erykah badu "sucks" kendrick lamar "sucks" katt williams is "racist against white people" its just nonstop this guy is crazy.. and he never seems to see that i don't want to hear that every day like the other day he asked me what i was doing for the weekend and i said "i'm going to see black panther" and he immediately scoffs and tells me he doesn't want to see it because it's like wonder woman.. which i guess was his way of saying he thinks its some type of political statement? this guy is AWFUL he said he was going to boycott the nfl because players were taking a knee.. lol i never go up to him and say "your church is garbage" "that music is crap" "that neighborhood is crap" etc but he will do that stuff to me all day every day his rhetoric really has started to bring me down.. he's one of those white people who will purposely mispronounce 2pac as "2-pack" just to try and get a rise out of you.. never stopping to actually inquire as to whether or not you actually listen to his music in the first place, instead he just assumes he's your favorite artist he doesn't understand that i don't care, its just hearing his negativity all day gets old i don't care if u hate democrats.. like i'm not a democrat or a republican and i didn't even vote in 2016 so i LITERALLY DONT CARE so the problem isn't always that i disagree.. the problem is him coming up to me telling me stuff i don't care about all the time and calling people stupid all day every day i think he is full of demons really... because when you look at him he has this permanent smug grin on his face and he loves to argue and bash people he's one of those people who u almost wish would lose everything so they could see their illusion of being better than others is just that he's really helpful and cool when it comes to work though so its a trip because its like... u have a person whose actions are cool but their attitude and words are awful but what's crazy is i've dealt with this my whole life.. so its nothing new ++++++++++++++++ anyway i'm out for now.. i'm kinda tired of typing at the moment
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enid and seymourthe transition.. and the last hurdle archives
August 2023
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