ok i want to explain what it means when a woman says "put me in my place"
note.. this also goes for when someone outside the relationship tells u to "put her in her place" my ex g/f used to say she wanted me to put her in her place and i never understood what that meant.. one day i got tired of her attitude and i said "don't talk to me like that" and she said "like what?" and i mocked her sternly and told her not to do it anymore she immediately stopped acting crazy and later she told me i "put her in her place" and she liked it i still didn't really understand what she meant by that so it wasn't like something i did that was a purposeful success- it was more like dumb luck let me explain how i felt when i told her to stop talking to me with that attitude though... here's how i felt: i was listening to her talk to me like she was crazy and i was hoping she would stop but she just kept going... i wanted to be patient with her but i had enough and when i decided to finally speak up, i was at a place where if she didn't comply, i was going to just be done with her i said all of that to say this- if you want a relationship with a person then the LAST thing you actually want to do is just cut them out of your life and let them go but that's where i was in that moment i am not sure if women understand that.. i don't know if they understand if i have to get to a point where i just interrupt you and tell you to basically shutup then i'm actually halfway out the door so this was MASSIVELY INQUANTIFIABLY confusing because i'm thinking... ok i was about to kick you to the curb but for some reason you like that? what i didn't understand at the time was that women view how i acted in that moment as self respect.. women are like poking us men to try and see where our self respect button is, and if they can't find it they will assume it's not there so in my mind, like i said, i was confused because to me- a woman should like a man who is patient.. but here she is saying she likes it when i am ready to cut her loose so like i said, i still just really had no idea what "put me in my place" meant to me- if a woman says "put me in my place" to me that meant slap her, or cuss her out, or deck her, or tell her she is worthless or something but i could never do anything like that.. i mean.. i'd rather just not be with a woman than be forced to treat her harshly to have her approval but over time, i think i have learned what "put her in her place" really means it has been a very difficult thing for me to understand but i think i get what it means and so i want to share it with any men who want to know what that means remember, this goes for both if a woman says "put me in my place" or if a third party says "put her in her place" they aren't necessarily talking about an action.. they are more talking about an attitude women want you to essentially "demote" them with your attitude toward them.. they want you to have a "take it or leave it" attitude concerning them.. they essentially like it when you are selfish because for them they see it as like- "oh he is uncompromising in his ways" or "he can't be shaken" or "oh he has a backbone" so to them they view these things as strength so when she acts crazy she wants to see if you will be unmoved by her actions and ways or if she can shake you off your center.. if you're shaken off then in her mind- you failed the test when i say "unmoved" that means being able to let go and also being able to leave her and be unaffected.. being able to remain focused on what you want out of life despite outside factors (including her) she essentially wants you to treat her the way you would treat a child.. be above all of their antics if a child was acting up, you would hit the child and then ignore them when they cry until they decide to act right- forcing them to come up to your level with a woman, you would replace hitting with leaving, threatening to leave, or a tongue lashing, and then replace ignoring with standing in your square or not changing your stance and not even really repeating yourself.. silence or something may even work- forcing them to come up to your level and there is one thing that ties it all together this is the ingredient that cannot be missed.. the main thing you need to make the whole "put her in her place" thing work is this YOU MUST ALWAYS BE WILLING TO LEGITIMATELY LET HER GO when i say you must always be willing to let her go i mean from the heart you must always be able to let her go because the way women see it- if you are unwilling to let her go then in her mind she has too much power over you to us men, a lot of us see being unwilling to let go as having patience which is the first trait of love according to 1st corinthians chapter 13 4-8... holding on tight to many of us men is longsuffering.. to us these are things that show our dedication and commitment however women view your unwillingness to let go as weakness... she's thinking "i can take advantage of him so i'm stronger than him" ... she views your holding on tight as "he's just doing this because he can't get anyone else" this is why in a previous entry i've said: women take kindness as weakness women take caring as weakness and women take patience as weakness this is also why i've said: when men get power or money they use it to bless and uplift their family.. but when women get power or money, they use it to fight the man again.. women view your unwillingness to leave as a weakness.. so if you try to hold on too tight they will take that "power" and use it against you women's way of viewing things is like... just imagine a man without integrity and logic and you can see how women think and operate.. they don't think something like: "he let me get away with that, so let me straighten up since he's being patient with me" they think "he let me get away with that so i can probably get away with more" so "putting a woman in her place" consists of an attitude of "i can let you go at any moment" or "i can replace you" or "you have no power over me" or "i am not in the least bit frightened by the thought of you leaving" or "if you leave me you will regret it, i won't" or "you can keep acting stupid, i'm above your antics" or "I AM WHOLEHEARTEDLY UNAFFECTED BY YOUR CRAP AND IF YOU DON'T ACT THE WAY I WANT YOU TO ACT THEN YOU WILL BE ALONE AND WITHOUT ME" women want you to exude this attitude, because they think of it as being powerful, and they think of a man who tries to show patience and politeness as a people-pleaser, and that turns her off because she feels like that should be her role, not yours.. so if you try to keep peace, or attempt to appease her then she views it as being weak they don't really understand that these traits aren't exactly parallel to strength and weakness they also don't seem to really understand that love- while it isn't a pushover, is also not selfish so what women are doing is they're saying "hey i like this guy because he's not a pushover! i can't sway him at all!" but they are missing the fact that oftentimes there is no love there either... this is why that whole 80 - 20 rule exists.. where 80% of women are having sex with 20% of men.. because women are essentially bed-hopping from one self-centered alpha male to the next what i personally find to be odd is that a woman will refuse to listen to a guy who loves her but she will run off and go be a whore for the guy who just uses her.. again this is because she views the men as strong and weak and doesn't factor in the elements of love and selfishness so i guess that shows one of two things or both A. women flat out don't see the full picture B. women's desire for what they perceive to be male strength utterly trumps their desire for male love anyway.. that's what it means when they say put a woman in her place it means instead of thinking of leaving her as a last resort, its a first resort.. because women view your refusal to deal with crap (even from them) as an indicator of your own self respect and confidence remember.. if you make sure to give a woman your best, she'll make sure to give you her worst if she can see that you can drop her and carry on and be happy without her she will cling to you in an attempt to keep that from happening.. if you come across like you will be unhappy if she leaves, she will view that as a weakness and will want to get away from you as soon as possible she wants you to essentially demote her to a lower place in your heart and mind and life.. "put her in her place" is pretty much equivalent to- "treat her like you don't need her" demoting her is essentially moving her from a main role in your life to her proper supporting role..... aka her place
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James Arthurnew speak, true speak Archives
December 2017
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